A Haughty Courtesan, page 6
“What kind of person are you, my lady?” he asked. “I just wish to know this.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“What if someone tries crossing paths with you?” he asked. “Would you consider forgiving them or making them pay?”
Forgiveness was the one word absent from her dictionary, but she could not tell him that directly. She had seen his reaction when she became honest with him a few moments ago. She had to handle him in a different manner.
“Would you forgive someone who causes you grief and loss?” she asked. “Hurt someone dear to you?”
He bunched his eyebrows, processing her question. Taking advantage of his distracted state, she walked towards him and sat on his thigh.
He was astonished at first, but then he wrapped one arm around her waist. She leaned towards the hollow of his neck and bit playfully. He groaned and tightened his hold on her.
“I am waiting for your response, my lord,” she said.
“I am not a saint, my lady,” he said breathily. “Of course I will retaliate.”
She smiled against his throat. Men were so easy to manipulate. Why didn’t she think of seducing him before?
She placed kisses along the long column of his neck and licked the side of his ear. He jumped in his seat and almost threw her off, but it was not the first time she was using this trick. She knew how to stay in her place when her companion started losing control.
“Then here is your answer,” she whispered.
“A clever answer,” he said.
At that point, she looked out the window and saw Anna sitting under a tree. She had not talked to the girl ever since she arranged that punishment for her and neither had the girl tried approaching her.
“You see that girl over there, my lord?” she said.
He followed her line of sight and saw a raven-haired beauty sitting under the shade of a tree with a customer. The girl was not beautiful like Rose, but she was not hard to look at either. She was a normal girl.
“What about her?” he asked.
“She was being a nuisance to me, so I orchestrated a plan that ended with a flaming bottom for her,” she said.
He looked at her sharply. Rose was smirking with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
“Surely, you jest,” he said good-humoredly.
“Not at all, my lord,” she drawled.
He laughed bawdily and Rose laughed with him.
“What did she do to make you upset, my lady?” he asked.
Her one hand was now at his thigh and sitting still became an impossible task for him. She started drawing patterns with her fingernail and his already hardened member twitched inside his trousers.
“You remember the day I tied myself to the ceiling for you, my lord?” she asked, placing her palm on his crotch.
The imagery combined with what she was doing to him proved to be a lethal combination. He felt his semen leaking out from the tip of his member. If she kept doing that, he would not last for long.
“Vividly,” he said hoarsely.
He helped her lower his breeches and did not object when she knelt between his feet and took his member into her mouth. He leaned back in his seat and enjoyed the sensations of her warm lips as she engulfed his large member into her mouth to the hilt.
“God, save my soul,” he said huskily.
He watched with apt fascination as her head bobbed between his legs and not even for a second did she choke on his length.
She placed her hands on his swollen sack and rubbed with gentle hands. He squirmed in his seat, trying to hold back, but she was adamant at making him lose control.
“Rose!”
She licked the fluid off the tip of the shaft and scraped his velvety skin with her teeth. His retinas went to the back of his head and he started shooting his load into her mouth which she swallowed with such eagerness that his heart stopped working for a second too long.
“It’s the second time you have changed my mind,” he said, patting her head with two fingers. “I visit with the intention of conversing, but you… God, you are good.”
Wiping her mouth on her handkerchief, she went to the window. Placing her palm on the pane, she smiled in triumph.
“I told you I am the best, my lord,” she said.
“I apologize for doubting your skills, my lady,” he chuckled and then added after a short pause, “Tell me what happened next. I am intrigued to know what made you angry with the courtesan.”
She stared at Anna and recalled the day she had orchestrated a punishment for the silly harlot. Rose always felt better when the image of Anna’s flaming bottom floated in her head. Reliving that day was one of her favorite pastimes. Her favorite part was when Anna looked at Molly for help, believing her friend could put a stop to what was happening to her. Rose loved hearing the wailing and screaming that followed soon after.
“Well, after you left, my lord, she untied my ropes,” she said, continuing the story where she had left off. “I dismissed her, but she still kept talking. It really bothered me that she thought she could argue with me.”
“Are you serious?” he asked.
She looked over her shoulder at him and made a puzzled face.
“Of course I am serious,” she said. “Why would I lie?”
His face once again started sporting disappointment and it irked her that her efforts were in vain.
“You do realize it makes you sound like a really shallow person,” he said.
She had been called worse names than that, but she had never been bothered by them until that moment. Somehow, coming from his mouth, the words really stung her.
“I am not shallow,” she said. “That was uncalled for, my lord.”
“Instead of thanking her for her help you humiliated her,” he said. “That makes you a shallow person and kind of an imposter if you utter such beautiful words yet behave like a total brat.”
She flinched as the words hit her like a slap to the face. He considered her a shallow person and also an imposter. It was the hardest blow she had ever felt in her life.
“Everyone is entitled to have their own opinions,” she said stubbornly and looked away from him to Anna. “I don’t regret making her pay for bothering me.”
She heard dragging of a chair and abruptly turned towards him.
“I have to go, beautiful Rose,” he said.
“When can I expect to see you again?” she asked fervently.
“Not sure, Rose,” he said, putting on his hat. “I am going out of town for a month or two. I can’t say for sure if I will stay long enough to pay you a visit.”
He was dismissing her. He had stopped calling her a lady and was calling her from her name because he was finally seeing her for what she really was.
A vengeful harlot.
“Farewell, my lord,” she whispered when he was gone.
If he was just another customer, then why was she feeling emptiness all of a sudden? Why was her heart aching as she watched him leave her?
She only wished the feeling of dread settling in the pit of her stomach was wrong. She wished she were wrong about assuming it was his last visit.
Chapter 10
A whole month had passed yet there was no sign of Lord Clifford. Rose was puzzled at the turmoil of emotions that were wreaking havoc upon her. He was just another customer, yet she could not stop thinking about him.
Most of her customers visited regularly and her life went on, but she had started to lose interest in the job that used to bring her joy.
Lord Doris and Lord Clifford were both out of town. She was happy at the absence of the first one, but the latter one was sorely missed.
A knock at her door pulled her out of her gloomy state of mind. John was standing in the doorway with a smug look on his face.
“A special admirer is here to see you,” John said. “He would not have any other girl except you.”
As John stood to the side to allow her admirer in, her heart had started beating fast in anticipation. She was expecting to see the handsome face of Lord Clifford. She was aware that it was a silly thing to do, but there was no stopping the yearning of her heart.
Her face fell as Lord Franklin Doris walked into her room and gave her a wolfish grin. She did not feel like returning that smile.
“I could not resist your allure, lovely Rose. I came straight from my country house to this establishment only to see you.”
John closed the door behind him and left her alone with Lord Doris.
She did not wish to smile or laugh, but she had to fake her emotions for the sake of Lord Doris.
“Shall we, my lord?” she asked, pointing to her bed.
She took him to bed and did her best to hide her true feelings behind a wall of fake screaming and groaning audibly to spur him on. She did not feel the thrill she usually did when she lay with a customer.
When her fake persona replaced the real Rose, her guilty conscience raised its ugly head. She heard the same two sentences that had been constantly on her mind for the past month.
She was a shallow person.
She was an imposter.
She hated herself for proving what Lord Clifford said about her was true. She was an imposter. Her life was nothing but a tale of sad deception.
For the first time in her life, when Lord Doris left, Rose scrubbed her body raw with a sponge and scalding water. She was trying to wash away the feeling of his calloused hands from her body. She only wished to keep the memories of Lord Clifford’s hands, but that was not possible. The scalding water took away the good memories along with the bad ones.
She was a shallow person.
She was an imposter.
She sobbed as she recalled his words. It had never bothered her before that she lay with countless men for a few coins, but ever since she was called an imposter and a shallow person, she had been feeling unclean. Every customer she entertained this past month broke a small chip off her armor, but Lord Doris removed her armor in its entirety and left her vulnerable to the onslaught of her own guilt.
When she emerged from her room, she saw a number of girls playing silly games and laughing in merriment. She looked away from them and walked out the main door of the house to the garden where she had last met Lord Clifford.
She traced the same path they had taken and relived every memory in vivid detail. She smiled as she recalled their banter and how he chuckled when she said something amusing. She touched the log he had sat on while their bodies were joined in heat. She stayed for a long while near the log where they had rutted like animals.
Unbeknownst to her, a lonely tear slipped from behind her lashes and traveled down her cheek and fell on the grass.
When she returned to the house, she went straight to Olivia’s room. Olivia ran a tight ship, but Rose was her favorite. The matron would find time for her most coveted protégé.
Olivia was leaning against the headboard of her bed and reading a paper when Rose entered the room. Rose did not think twice before climbing on the bed and putting her head on Olivia’s thighs.
“What is the worth of money?” Rose asked.
“Money is the most powerful thing in the world,” Olivia said. “Those who claim otherwise either don’t have it or they don’t know how to use it properly.”
Rose had believed the same thing until Lord Clifford came into her life. He had made her realize certain things could not be bought with money. She did not know whether it was a good thing or bad thing that she was being influenced by him, but one thing was clear, she had changed.
“What about love?” Rose asked.
She had told him she did not believe in love, but she was starting to doubt her own words. If she did not believe in love, then why was she missing him like a missing limb? Why did her heart ache whenever she thought of the other lady he spoke of? Why did she wish to wither away whenever she recalled he could never become hers?
“Love is not enough to survive when your child is weeping for milk you cannot afford nor does it provide you with warm clothes in an unforgivable winter,” Olivia said.
Olivia’s tone was defensive. It dawned on Rose that she had hit a nerve. Even a selfish and self-centered person like Olivia was not immune to love.
“Have you ever loved someone?” Rose asked.
Olivia put the paper down to her side and looked at her with keen eyes. Neither of them spoke for a while. Rose was starting to believe that Olivia would never answer her.
Olivia sighed and brushed Rose’s hair with gentle hands. A look of torment and grief came over Olivia’s features as she opened her mouth.
“He left me for a girl with a dress prettier than mine,” Olivia said. “Her father owned a bakery while my father was a drunk gambler. I had nothing to offer him except my love, but that was not enough for him.”
Rose felt sorrow for her matron. It never crossed her mind that Olivia might have experienced heartbreak.
Rose was once again reminded of her shallow and petty life. Like her, Olivia was associated with a life of sin and debauchery. No one would ever believe they were capable of loving someone.
“Do you think he is happy with that girl?” Rose asked. “Does he love her?”
Olivia smirked, but there was no humor in her eyes. The only emotions that were loud and screaming the most were grief and sorrow.
“Once I came into money, I made an offer to that man,” Olivia said. “Leave his wife and work for me.”
“Did he accept?” Rose asked.
It was a cruel offer and Rose wished the man had loved his wife enough to turn it down. She might never get the man she desired and loved from the core of her heart, but she solemnly wished someone got a happy ending in the tragic story.
“He left his wife and three daughters without thinking twice,” Olivia said. Rose stopped breathing as Olivia smirked cruelly. “I kicked him to the curb the moment he came knocking at my door.”
Rose should feel happy for her matron, but all she could think about was the three little girls whose father left them. Rose had never known the love of family, but there was a feeling of hollowness whenever she saw a mother doting on her child or a father buying sweets for her children.
“What happened to his family?” Rose asked. “Did he go back?”
Olivia shrugged and Rose knew that the little girls never got their father back. She had never met the little girls, but she felt their grief like it was her own.
“They threw him out too,” Olivia said.
Out of nowhere, Rose saw herself and Lord Clifford in a similar situation and a sharp pain pierced her heart. She could never forgive herself if she caused him grief even if he abandoned her for someone else.
“Did your heart ache when he was disgraced by others?” Rose asked.
“He trampled me under his feet without considering my feelings. Why should I care what he felt?”
She did not say anything else nor wait for her matron to finish the story and walked out of Olivia’s room. Her own soul was troubled and listening to Olivia’s tragic past did not help her. It only added to her grief.
She knew Olivia was selfish, but she had never thought of her as cruel.
She wondered what Olivia would do to her if she refused to work for her anymore. Someone who did not feel sympathy for her lover could never offer her sage advice in her current dilemma.
“She was not always like this, you know.”
She looked over her shoulder towards John, standing in a corner against a wall. He was speaking about Olivia, she was sure of it.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
He walked towards her and pointed to a secluded corner in the house where no prying eyes could see them, or intruding ears could listen to their conversation.
Rose followed him to the corner and once John was satisfied no one was around to hear them, he finally opened his mouth.
“I was eleven when her lover left her,” John said. “I was a street urchin back then and she lived on the same streets where I grew up.”
Rose shook her head. She knew John was an old friend of Olivia’s and that was his loyalty to his friend speaking, not an honest opinion of someone who could see Olivia for what she really was.
“I don’t believe she was ever capable of love,” Rose said.
“You don’t know what you speak of,” he said defensively. “You can’t understand what a heartbreak could do to someone.”
If only John knew how his words were affecting Rose. Rose was thinking about herself and Lord Clifford. She was starting to understand what she was going through. She was realizing the pain in her chest was the breaking of her heart.
“She claims to love this man, yet she ruined his life,” she said. “What kind of love is that? You say her heart was broken then how come she did not accept him when he returned for her?”
John opened his mouth and then closed it. He wished to speak of something but was reluctant to share secrets with her.
His shoulders drooped and he raised his palms in a defeated pose.
“It’s not my place to tell you what made her this way, but know that a mother’s love for her child surpasses everything else,” John said.
She had enough problems of her own. Her conflicted mind did not have the energy to guess what really happened in Olivia’s past. She was too tired to care about anyone else except her own misery.
“What about you, John?” Rose asked. “Do you also believe money is the most powerful thing in this world?”
John remained silent for a short pause. He was contemplating whether to call her out on her obvious attempts at dismissing Olivia’s past.
Whatever John saw in her eyes made him soften towards her. He sighed and then looked her in the eyes.
“I believe some things cannot be bought with money,” John said. “You cannot change your past no matter how much money you earn, neither can you buy someone’s affections with it.”
She agreed with him wholeheartedly. If there were a way to buy someone’s affections, she would have given everything for gaining the love of Lord Clifford.
“What can a person do to earn affections of someone?” Rose asked.
