Temptation of the Butterfly, page 15
“Can I have one last night?” she asked, her hand brushing his thigh. “Tell me you will meet me after everyone’s gone to sleep. We might never see each other again once I’m called back to the palace. Please, let’s just have this one more night.”
Against his better judgment, he nodded. How could he refuse her anything?
“Meet me on the tu di hang.”
He didn’t answer.
“Please, Aaron,” Fen begged.
“Fen?” Haun called from the door.
“Shi, I’m in here,” Fen said, standing to put distance between them.
Aaron also stood. Fen met his eyes and he nodded in agreement to her question. She sighed, nodding back.
“Fen, you should get some rest,” Haun said.
Fen glanced at him before being led away. Aaron headed out the door, his eyes finding the land craft before he headed in the opposite direction.
“You’re welcome to stay inside,” Francesca said as he passed the royal couple. Jin nodded in agreement.
“No, thank you, Princess Francesca,” he answered. “The open air suits me just fine.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Fate was brutal.
One word and everything in a single life was changed. Disowned. Lady Hsin’s rash actions were now breaking Fen’s heart. But, the bittersweet paradox was, if Lady Hsin hadn’t disowned Aaron, he wouldn’t be the man she now loved and couldn’t have.
One night.
Would that ever be enough? One more night to hold him, feel him, hear him. It was enough to make her want to scream.
“I don’t want to be a princess anymore,” Fen said, crying into the small round pillow Francesca gave her to sleep on. The bed frame was odd, reaching up and curling over her like claws or horns. She waited for it to close in on her like a hand, smashing her in its wooden palm. “Blessed ancestors, I beg of you. Don’t make me give him up. Take away my crown but don’t make me give him up. I don’t want to marry Shing. Why can’t I be happy?”
As much as she wanted him, she also refused to do something to disgrace herself or her title—well, at least in her eyes. The empress would surely call planning to meet Aaron for one last night a clear disgrace.
Curse her mother.
Curse the whole world.
Tonight, she would take one thing for herself. She would treasure every second she could squeeze in with Aaron. She’d hold it tight for the years to come. And, after marriage… No, she couldn’t think of playing her husband false. To do so seemed wrong, even in her circumstance.
Unable to wait any longer, she stepped out into the long guest hall, tiptoeing through the darkness so she wouldn’t be heard. Going to the door, she stopped as she heard movement behind her.
Fen turned to see Francesca sitting in a chair, watching her. Her sister-by-marriage stood and came toward her.
“I wondered how long it would take you to go to him,” she said, patting her arm. “Don’t worry, I didn’t see a thing.”
Fen smiled, reaching to hug the woman. Francesca stiffened at the sudden contact and patted her awkwardly. “You are a true sister. Xiexie ni. Thank you.”
Francesca pushed her gently. Fen let go of her.
“The Zhang Dynasty has many laws and traditions,” Francesca said. “Just remember something, Fen. Laws and traditions are not such until they are made to be. Before them there was nothing, and given enough time, there will be nothing again.”
Fen frowned, confused. Francesca looked sorry for her as she patted her shoulder. Then, with warrior-like grace, her sister-by-marriage disappeared down the hall toward the bedroom she shared with Jin.
The night was cool, fragranced with the smell of trees and flowers. Stars stretched over the distance, blanketing the night sky. In truth, the wide-open space made her uneasy.
The dirt path in front of her brother’s house gave way to grass and she stepped through the tickling blades, quickly walking straight for the land craft. It hovered over the ground and she lifted her hand to the eye. Silently, wooden stairs unfolded, falling down to the earth so she could climb aboard. Glancing around the deck, she felt a wave of relief hit her to find that Aaron was already there, waiting for her.
He lay on his back on the upper platform, staring at the stars. Fen leaned over the side, running her hand over the sensor in the eye to pull up the steps. The tu di hang again lifted off the ground. Aaron glanced at her, his dark blue eyes shaded by the night, but she knew he looked by the angle of his head. She wasn’t sure how he managed to get on board without being programmed into the craft’s database, but she was glad he did so she wouldn’t have to wait outside in the darkness alone. She ran her hand near the helm, getting the sensors to shut off so the craft wasn’t on.
“I had this fear that you wouldn’t be here,” she said, climbing the few steps it took to get to him. “I was afraid you’d run away.”
“I started to,” he admitted. “Sometimes I think it would be best if I left and never saw you again.”
“You don’t wish to be here?” Fen knelt beside his leg, letting her thigh brush his.
“I shouldn’t be here. You’re to be married. We’ve both been ordered not to be together, by both of your parents.”
“I’m not engaged yet. I haven’t asked Shing and I’ve made him no promises,” she answered.
“Why are you marrying him?” Aaron rolled up, sitting so he was facing her. When she didn’t speak, he said, “I answered your questions, Fen. Please, I need to know why. You come here with me, but you go to marry him. Why?”
“Because I must.” She wanted to leave it at that, but knowing he’d shared so much with her, made her continue. “Because if I don’t, you will be given in servitude to Lord He. Because the empress wants me married to a man of Lintianese blood who will give her lots of grandchildren and ensure I never take off like my sister, Mei. And I suspect there is some concern as to our relations with the Song Dynasty, which I’m not being told about, that makes them want to see me settled with a man of power and wealth should anything happen.”
“Then why are you here? If they’re so urgent to see it done?”
“They think someone is trying to hurt me.” This was not how she’d pictured this night going. Emotions flooded her and she began talking nonstop, telling him about the fire the first time they met, of the water, the metal shard, and then finally the wooden stick from Madame Eng’s Chien Tung set. “It’s believed that whoever is doing it is using the elements through a supernatural force to try and do me harm. Both the astrologers and my ancestors believed that I needed to leave the palace to be safe, so we came out here. I’ve tried telling myself that it’s nothing, that I’ve been clumsy or unlucky, but in truth I’m terrified.”
Her breath caught, and she leaned forward. Aaron pulled her close to his chest, folding his arms around her. She drew strength from his nearness, but that didn’t stop tears from rolling down her cheeks. Taking her face in hand, he kissed her, his touch gentle and easy, as he wiped the tears away. Fen needed more.
She pushed him down, riding him to the deck with her mouth firmly planted on his. Her body fit against him, nestling perfectly as if she were carved to be there. Only in these stolen moments did everything make complete and perfect sense.
She pulled at his clothes, eager to have nothing between them, nearly tearing his silk tunic in her haste. Bold hands stroked her hips, rubbing them, drawing her heated sex tight against his arousal. Fen moaned, wiggling as she braced her hand on the deck and reached down with the other to pull her gown around her waist. Aaron flipped her onto her back, kissing a hot trail over the silk bodice of her gown to her exposed stomach. A small sound of pleasure escaped her, and she spread her thighs wide. Aaron drew his mouth along her clit, sucking and biting as he made love to her with his mouth. Soon his hands joined in, his fingers thrusting up into her.
“Fen.” Her name came from him in a long moan.
Fen’s body jerked as he grabbed her hips, moving her against him. Wanting to feel him inside her, she pulled his hair to get him to slide up her body. He did, only to cradle her close as he flipped onto his back.
Their bodies became a frenzy of movements, hands gliding, hearts pounding, flesh grinding. Clothes were stripped away, pushed aside without thought. Starlight added a soft glow to their skin. Aaron massaged her breasts, pinching the nipples. Fen touched him everywhere she could reach.
She straddled his hips, lifting up only to guide his cock to the apex of her thighs. Closing her eyes, she lowered her body onto his, savoring each stroke of their flesh. He arched his back, groaning in pleasure. She sat astride him, passionately riding him hard and deep. The man without a doubt knew how to move. He reached for the pearl hidden in her slick folds, rubbing it in small circles.
“Mmm, shi.” She clawed his chest, using it for support as she bucked her hips. Her body built toward a climax.
The orgasm that hit her was intense, taking over her entire length. His finger continued to stimulate her until her clit became so sensitive she thought she’d pass out from pleasure if he kept touching her there. He slowed and she came down for the briefest of seconds. Aaron then built her right back up, making her come a second time. Suddenly, his release joined hers, punctuated by their labored grunts of pleasure.
Fen’s body was numb, her bones feeling as if they’d melted right out of her skin. Weak, she collapsed against him, breathing heavily. She didn’t want to move.
* * *
Fen slowly pulled off Aaron’s unmoving body. He moaned softly but didn’t wake back up. They’d rested in each other’s arms, talking about nothing and everything, only to make love again. After the second time, they held each other in silence. The stars were bright and beautiful, but as each second passed, she felt more desperate for it never to end.
And then, her body sated and her mind near sleep, she understood what Francesca had been trying to tell her about the laws. They were bendable, breakable even, if done for the right reason. Not all laws were good.
Creeping down the steps, she turned the sensors back on. The land craft lifted ever so slightly, silently ready to move. Fen took a deep breath, and without really thinking of where she was heading, she programmed the tu di hang to sail in the opposite direction of the palace.
Wherever they ended up, whatever happened, she wouldn’t be scared because she’d have Aaron.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Aaron opened his eyes, stretching his arms over his head. For a brief moment, his mind was clear, his body relaxed from sex and sleep, and he felt a deep peace inside his usually troubled soul. But, as his eyes focused to see the sky and he felt the gentle movements beneath him, his inner peace was replaced by anxiety.
He was on the tu di hang with Princess Fen, that much he remembered. Looking around, he was surprised to see Fen at the large wheel. She wasn’t touching it, as the craft steered itself. Sitting up, he saw that no one else was on the land craft with them.
What was going on? Where was she taking them?
Fen was dressed in the gown she’d come to him in. For a brief moment, he let the brilliant image of her burn into his mind. Sunrise cast her in a beautiful glow, shining off her long hair as it blew in the breeze to the side. Before he could stop himself, he whispered her name, “Fen,” and she turned. Strands of her hair blew across her face, outlining her eyes. As she ran a finger over her cheek, pulling them off, a slight smile came to her.
Aaron’s heart nearly stopped. He was naked but didn’t care as he stood to face her. Climbing down the steps, he asked, “Fen?”
“Good morning.” She met him halfway and reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. Her lips pursed together and he couldn’t resist giving her the kiss she wanted.
He pulled back as he felt himself becoming aroused. “What’s going on?”
“I’m kidnapping you,” she said, moving to kiss him once more.
Aaron leaned back. “What are you talking about?”
“We’re running away,” she said.
For a second, his heart soared. Even so, he knew it couldn’t be. He let go of her, putting distance between them as he looked for his clothes. “Fen, you can’t mean that. Where will we go? What will we do? How will we live?”
“Does it matter?” she asked.
He frowned as he tugged on his pants. “Have you ever gone without a meal?”
“No.” The word was hesitant.
“And have you ever washed your own clothes, grown or prepared food? Lived without guards or servants?”
“I’m not a pampered princess,” she said defensively, only to shake her head and point at him. “Okay, so I’m a little bit pampered, but I’m not afraid to learn differently. I made my decision. I love you and I want to be with you.”
“You’re tired and you’re not thinking straight.” Aaron wished there was a way her plan would work, but he couldn’t do it. He jerked on his pants. “You haven’t thought this through. Turn the land craft around before it’s too late and they realize we’ve gone.”
“You don’t want to be with me?” Tears entered her eyes and she looked at him in confusion.
“I can’t take care of you,” Aaron said. “I don’t have the means to support you as you deserve. And that is if we even get away. Princesses aren’t exactly easy to hide, you know. Your parents will come after us with every bit of their fortune and every resource at their disposal. Eventually they will find us.”
“Why won’t you answer? Do you want to be with me?” Fen asked. She put her hands on her hips, looking beautifully defiant and vulnerable at the same time.
Aaron threw his hands to his sides and yelled, “Of course I want to be with you. I can think of nothing else. I dream about you, about us. I think about you all the time. You’re in my blood and you drive me mad with passion. I want nothing more than to be with you for the rest of our days, but it can’t be. You are a princess and I am a disowned commoner, a peasant.”
“I don’t care what you are,” she whispered.
“But the world does.” He motioned around them. “They care very much.”
“Then we’ll find a new world, like my sister Mei. We’ll leave this planet and—”
Aaron held up his hand to stop her. “I’ve seen your face when you are with your brothers. I cannot take that from you. I will not see your body whither because I don’t have the means to feed you. I will not see you sold off at some space auction because I was unable to protect you. The world up there is not like here. There are things that can happen to a beautiful woman that you can’t even imagine.”
“I’ll take that chance. I have to take that chance. Please, Aaron. Let’s at least try.”
He shook his head in denial. “I love you too much to be with you, Fen, because I know what being with me will mean for you.”
A tear slipped over her cheek.
“Don’t,” he whispered. “Please, don’t cry.”
“But it’s not fair. I’ve given my whole life to being a princess. I’ve done the ceremonies, I’ve served my father’s guests. Why can’t I have one thing for me?” She collapsed on the deck. The craft kept sailing.
Aaron crossed to her, sinking to his knees. “Fen, we need to turn around and take you back to Prince Jin’s. Your brothers will be worried about you. They love you very much. Once you’ve had a moment, you’ll realize this is for the best. Like it or not, you are a princess. Not just in title but in spirit. It’s in you, Fen. Think of the years of good you have ahead of you. Think of the difference you can make in the lives of others. If you leave with me, you will come to regret the decision, and I fear that regret will tarnish whatever love you carry. You will begin to miss your family, your home, your honor. I will not see your life or your honor tarnished, nor the honor of your family, nor the whole dynasty, for the sake of my heart.”
She sniffed loudly, not answering.
“Fen, please, turn around. Even if we do leave, it won’t work. The palace guards will hunt us down. Do you think there is anywhere we could go? Any way we could contact your sister even if we wanted to? And if not for you, think of what they will do when they catch me. If the empress was willing to force your hand just to be rid of me, what do you think she’ll do to me for kidnapping you?”
“I kidnapped you,” she defended.
“A small point in their eyes,” he assured her. In some ways she was so smart, but in others, she was very naive. The same rules did not apply to his class that did hers.
“Then what would you have me do?” she asked, her voice weak.
“I would have you stand up, turn us around, and face your duty like the princess you were born to be.” Aaron waited for a long moment. “The rest is up to fate. But, if you marry, know that I want you to be happy. I want you to love, bear children and spare me a kind thought when the moment allows it. But know always that I love you, and if you ever have need of me, I am eternally at your service.”
Fen nodded, pushing on his shoulder to stand. He patted her hand briefly before she turned to reprogram the land craft.
Inside, his heart screamed at the agony, but the princes had been right. Aaron needed to give Fen closure. He needed to make it easier on her to face what she must. Though it tore at him to think of her loving another, he wished it for her sake. He wished her delight in all things. Above all else, he would see her happy.
The tu di hang slowed, turning around to head back in the other direction. The sun rose higher and Aaron feared they wouldn’t make it back before her brothers awoke. The land craft picked up speed, gliding over the gentle rolling hills of the prairie, along the tree line of the Hsi Yang Forest.
“Hold me,” Fen said, standing next to him. “Just until we get back.”
Aaron held her tight against his chest. They didn’t speak as they crossed the distance. The thought that she’d been willing to give up everything for him astounded and saddened him. His heart soared that she could love him that much, and yet it died in the same moment, for it could never be.
