Temptation of the Butterfly, page 11
As Aaron made the climb to the front, he noticed how peaceful this section of the palace was. He saw no servants, no guards or gardeners. The library was empty when he entered. Within the immediate entrance, he saw a portrait of the emperor and empress staring down at him from an imposing height. Then, walking along a hall, he saw more portraits, all royal in appearance. Finally, he came to the end, which opened into the library itself.
He looked for the keeper but didn’t see one around. Long rows of thick wood tables sat empty. Rolled scrolls lined the walls in giant columns and in single pillars that reached to the tall, sloped ceiling. Symbols were carved along the shelves, tiny words keeping the texts organized. Many nobles’ homes had scroll rooms but nothing quite like this. He wondered at what secrets he might find hidden in the old, dusty parchments.
“Ni hao,” Aaron said softly, only to say louder, “Hello? Is anyone here? I’ve come to measure for tapestries by order of the empress.”
He didn’t receive an answer. Looking around, he wondered where exactly the empress wanted tapestries replaced. He didn’t see any, only the columns of old scrolls. Exploring to the far back and not seeing anything, he turned back around to make his way once more through the pillars. Paintings lined what little wall space he did see, and he doubted the empress wanted him to take the paintings down and replace them with silk.
“Maybe I misunderstood,” he mumbled to himself. “But I don’t understand how. She did say the library.”
“Hello?”
He stiffened, his body instantly erupting in pleasure at the sound of Fen’s voice. It was like the song of an angel, from the mythology of his father’s people, calling to him from above. He stepped out from behind a pillar, bowing. “Princess.”
“Aaron.”
She smiled rushing forward. His heart soared at the sight. Her gown was tight against her body, corseted with a thick belt. Instantly, she was in his arms, kissing him. When he was away from her, he worried about the way he’d acted, but the second he was with her again, all seemed right.
“I missed you,” she said, pulling away from his mouth to sprinkle kisses all over his face.
He pushed her back to look at her. “The empress sent me to measure. Did she…?”
Aaron tried not to get excited, but if her mother sent him, did that mean the empress approved?
“She doesn’t know. I arranged for us to be alone. No one knows, don’t worry.”
Aaron knew he had no room to complain, but it hurt him that they had to hide because of who he was. However, he was no fool as to turn her away, not when he wanted her so badly. The night before had been bliss—not just the sex, but afterward as they talked. So many things seemed to just be between them, not needing to be said. The attraction was there, deep and sure, but there was more, a mental connection, an understanding as natural as their need for air.
Fen’s kisses moved to his neck. He tried to resist, had told himself he would so that they may talk more, but as her mouth skimmed his earlobe, he was lost. His body was at instant attention and his hands were roaming along her tight silk corset to pull her closer.
“I think about you all day,” Fen admitted. “When the other men are talking, I think of how I long to be with you instead.”
Aaron captured her mouth at the confession, kissing her harder. She’d never know the pleasure her words gave him. But part of him wondered if it was better not to feel the pleasure, because such things as this could only lead to pain.
“Do you think about me at all?” she asked.
He smiled. Since a young boy, he wasn’t one for talking a lot. The princess seemed to take it as a small offense. Holding her head in his hands, he said, “Always. Forever.”
“I’m scared, Aaron.”
“Of me?” Aaron asked, surprised.
“Of this,” she said. “Of it ending. I feel like I don’t get enough time with you. I want to talk to you, learn everything you have to say. I want to know you completely.”
He nodded, filled with the same fear. What could he tell her though? They both knew it wouldn’t last—not unless she gave up her life as a princess to run away with him. Though his late nights were filled with such fantasies, his reality wasn’t. He would never ask her to leave a life of privilege for an existence of uncertainty with him. He could never give her the life she had now.
“Do not think of how little the time, just take pleasure in the time we do have,” he said, not wanting to see her sad. He stroked back her hair. It was so soft. Reaching behind her head, he pulled at her hair clasp, causing it to cascade around her shoulders in silken waves. He took a bold step forward. Her body was dwarfed by his and he trapped her against one of the scroll pillars.
Her lovely, dark eyes rose to meet his, burning in their passion for him. His heavy arousal pressed against his tight black pants, aching to be set free. Fen shivered beneath his hands, her breathing deepening. Aaron knew how she liked to be taken—wild and rough. He was her escape from her life as a princess. He didn’t treat her like a delicate flower but like how a woman should be treated.
Aaron didn’t mind, as his passions matched her own in desperation. He stared deep into her eyes, running his hands down her arms to grab her wrists, instantly pulling them so they were trapped above her head against the hard pillar.
“I want to make love to you in every room of every building of the palace,” Fen said.
Aaron smiled at the thought, though he knew there was no way he’d have the chance to make love to her so many times, no matter how he longed to do just that.
Desire pulsed through him. Her nipples were hard against the silk, her breasts held up by the corset belt. As he rocked his hips forward along her soft body, her breath caught only to quicken. He licked his lips, desperately needing to taste her once more.
The smell of her body engulfed him, the scent of flowered perfume. Desperation filled him, desperation in the moment, in the need to have her, to never let go. Part of him wanted to throw her from him, to run and save what little part of himself he had left. It was useless. Fen already possessed so much of him—his body, his soul, even his heart. He never imagined he could love, especially not a princess. When his parents died, he swore never to let anyone in. How did Fen sneak past his guard?
His breath came in heavy pants. Without thought, his lips seared over hers, marking her as his, willing her to feel what he felt. Fen made a small noise of approval at his rough embrace and kissed him back with just as much passion. Their tongues clashed and fought in a silent battle between them.
He pressed her body tight against the pillar, holding her wrists captive in one palm. With his free hand, he tugged at her gown, lifting the pink and red silk to expose her legs. When he couldn’t free their bodies fast enough, he let go of her wrists and pulled at his waistband. The breeches fell to his ankles, pooling at his feet. Fen held her hands above her head, waiting for him to come back to her. Aaron lifted her skirt, baring her glistening sex. She didn’t wear any underclothes.
Aaron moaned softly. He brought his body to hers, again grabbing her wrists as he drew the tip of his shaft to her. With his free hand, he lifted her leg, nestling his shaft close to her moist slit. He thrust himself along her wet folds, feeling the glide of her cream on him.
Closing his eyes, he pushed up, filling her tight and ready body. Fen was always so wet for him. He thrust several times, keeping her arms pinned before he was forced to let her go. Taking her hips, he lifted her up, angling her body so he could go deeper. She pulled at her bodice, disheveling it as she exposed a sweet breast for his lips. Aaron instantly kissed it, sucking the hard nipple as he pumped into her willing folds.
“Ah,” Fen cried, as if she didn’t care if anyone heard her. She dug her hands into his shoulders, using him for support as he plunged in and out, in an out, fast and hard. Her body slid along the wall. She stiffened, whimpering beautifully as her muscles clenched his cock like a vise. As she shook with release, he couldn’t hold back. His body exploded into her, coming so hard his stomach clenched and a loud groan was wrenched from his throat. He stared at her for a long moment, breathing hard as he took in her flushed cheeks and her sated expression.
“I love you,” he whispered, unable to keep the words back. He had told himself he’d never confess it, never burden her with his heart. “I love you, Fen.”
For a long, stunned moment she stared at him. His body was still deep inside her and her arms were around his neck. “Blessed ancestors help me, but I love you, too, Aaron. I love you, too.”
Fen leaned forward, capturing his mouth with hers. His body was spent, but he poured everything he had into that bittersweet kiss. What they had could never be, no matter how he dared to hope that it could. The empress made it clear that he wasn’t good enough for the princess.
Aaron rocked his hips, working gently inside her. Only too late did he remember having released inside her. With poorer women, it wasn’t a good idea, but surely Fen would be on some sort of birth control. The rich normally were.
Fen moaned, deepening the kiss as the arousal rekindled itself between them.
“Ahhh!”
The high-pitched screech resounded over the library. Dazed with passion, he pulled back to look at Fen. Her eyes were wide, yet hazy. In unison, they turned toward the empty tables.
The empress stood, her face white as she stared at them.
Fen pushed at his arm, moaning in horror as he let her down. As Fen righted her clothes, Aaron pulled his pants to his waist to hide his wilting member.
“Fen,” the empress said, her voice hard and abnormally loud. Her mouth worked, as if too horrified by what she’d seen to let any words pass through.
“It’s not…” Fen began, breathless.
Aaron looked at her, part of him hurt by her automatic denial of the obvious. Her eyes met his and she shook her head. Was she saying she was sorry?
Chapter Eighteen
Fen stood before her mother in mortification. It was bad enough she’d been caught having sex in the library, but worse that it was with a man who wasn’t a suitor or a nobleman. Even after her chest was covered, she still grabbed the silk as if doing so would hide her sudden shame.
“You disgrace your family,” the empress said. “How could you do this, Fen? With willing, appropriate suitors lining up to marry you? What if they walked in here and saw you with him? Have you thought of your reputation? Of the family’s? What are you thinking?”
“It’s not unheard of to take lovers,” she said weakly.
“It is unheard of when the emperor orders you not to,” her mother answered.
“He didn’t order me to stay away from Aaron.” Fen knew she shouldn’t be arguing with her mother, but she couldn’t help herself. Inside, her heart felt like it was being squeezed of all life. She hadn’t lied when she’d said she loved him.
The empress scowled and turned her eyes to Aaron, “I specifically ordered you to stay away from the royal princess. I could have you imprisoned for the rest of your life for disobeying me.”
“No.” Fen stepped forward, hiding Aaron behind her back.
“Princess, please, do not take my shame unto yourself,” Aaron said quietly.
“It is a little late for that,” the empress said. “Your own grandmother has disowned you. Did he tell you that, Fen? Not only is his station unworthy of you, his honor is as well. He has no family, no true name.”
“I have a name,” Aaron said, his voice hardening. Fen was proud of him for speaking up, yet fearful at the same time. Doing so would only convince the empress to have him truly imprisoned or worse, exiled. “I have my father’s name. Piers.”
“Foreign space trash,” the Empress declared. “A yang gui zi whose family is all dead, killed by common raiders like common space port trash. Of course we know of it, Aaron. We make it our business to know who is coming to the palace. Lady Hsin was kind enough to fill us in on your past. You are lucky a woman as great as Lady Hsin took pity on you, but such luck does not last if it is not earned.”
“My father was a good man,” Aaron protested.
“And you are not,” the empress yelled.
Fen looked at Aaron, wondering why he didn’t deny that his family had disowned him. Such a thing was rare, and his sin must have been great indeed. Why hadn’t he told her?
Then, as she thought of it, she realized they hadn’t done as much talking as maybe they should have. In her heart, she’d felt that they knew each other without all the words. Her heart had been wrong. Her love was a romantic girlhood notion, a desperate cry to escape her fate, her duty, her marriage to a nobleman. Knowing it was such didn’t kill the pain.
And Aaron. His motive for loving her was suddenly clear. He had nothing but a past bad enough to get him kicked out of his own family. Why wouldn’t he say he loved her? She represented everything he didn’t have—money, power, honor. To a man like him, logic would say that she had the power to give him everything he’d lost. He could vindicate himself as her lover. For, if a royal princess of the Zhang Dynasty thought enough of him to take him to her bed, then surely he was worthy.
The awful truth hit her. He was using her for his own gain. As a young girl, her life teachers had warned her about such men, warned her that she would be under special attack because of her position.
She thought herself smart, but in that moment, she felt like a stupid little girl.
Fen looked at him, her eyes watering with the agony of his betrayal, even as a part of her heart screamed that he could do no such thing, that he could never betray her no matter what logic said. His handsome face was blank as he met her stare. She waited for him to speak, to deny what her mother was saying, but he didn’t.
Finally, he turned his eyes to the floor and did not look up again.
“Fen,” the empress ordered. “Come.”
Fen didn’t move as she stared at him.
“I said come.” The empress’ voice rose with her anger.
Fen finally joined her mother, her feet shuffling in dejection.
“Piers Aaron, you will go immediately to your chambers and stay there. If you do not, I’ll order the guards to kill you on sight.”
He placed fist to palm and bowed dutifully. The empress didn’t even watch his agreement as she roughly jerked Fen’s arm, dragging her daughter toward the library entrance. Fen stumbled to keep up with the hurried pace.
Once they reached the outside steps, the empress slowed to a more regal walk, her head held high as if she hadn’t a care in the world. All sign of emotion was gone from her features, replaced by the calm, cool look Fen associated with her mother.
“Empress,” Fen said, keeping her tone quiet. Even now, she was worried about Aaron. Threatening to kill him wasn’t an idle thing with her mother. If she decreed it, she’d do it. “Mother, please. What will you do?”
“That will be up to the emperor,” the empress answered.
“You will tell him everything?” Fen gasped, horrified that her father would know about what she’d done.
“You are a disobedient, willful daughter, Fen,” her mother said. “We’ve offered you every chance and when we expect some decorum in return, you dishonor yourself and your family.”
“I meant, what will you do to him?” she asked.
“I ordered him to stay away from you. I told him that you were busy with suitors and still he disobeyed me, his empress. What do you think I should do? What would the law have me do?” The empress stopped at the bottom of the steps. Their words were hushed but Fen could easily hear the anger in her mother’s tone. “Lady Hsin will have to be warned against such an employee. I will not tell her the details of it and shame our family more, but she was kind to give him a second chance and must be told the truth of who she hired.”
Fen wrung her hands before her waist, tugging at her wrinkled gown to make it more presentable for the walk across the palace grounds. Never had it seemed so long a distance as it did now.
“She, naturally, will exile him from her lands, but it will not be necessary.”
“What do you mean?” Fen asked. “You will kill him?”
“I am not so barbaric as that,” the empress said. “Besides, to do so would make his shame and yours known. The family does not need such scandal, not now with so many nobles within our walls.”
“Then…?” Fen couldn’t bring herself to hate him, even though she was angry about his not telling her the full truth of who he was—a dishonored man. But more than the anger, she was terrified—scared she’d never see him again, that he’d be hurt, that her heart would never recover. She wanted to hate him, but it wasn’t in her. Confusion set in, coursing through her mind.
“I knew when the treacherous An tried to taunt me into getting new tapestries for the library that she was up to something. She thinks me a fool, but I know well the décor of my own palace, even if I do not frequent all the buildings in it.”
They came to the end of the tiled private square. Fen glanced up at the two fierce creatures that guarded the entryway. Their angry yawns were frozen in white stone, as each held out a large claw-filled paw.
“An better be careful, lest she finds her soul exorcised from these walls.”
“Mother, no, you mustn’t! An is not at fault. I am,” Fen said. She’d never seen her mother this angry. “I’m a grown woman. I make my own decisions.”
“That yang gui zi has caused enough trouble,” the empress said. “You are not to see him again. Ever. And that is a royal order from your empress, make no mistake.”
“Shi,” Fen said, reluctantly agreeing.
“If you were not my daughter, Fen…” The empress let the threat taper off. “You allowed Lord He to leave here insulted and our relations with the Song Dynasty are even more troubled than they already were. Your brother Haun has been working hard to keep peace, as has the emperor. Already we must send Haun back to the Song palace to keep the peace between our two lands. There is so much at stake that you don’t know, Fen.”
