A Cowboy's Temptation, page 8
Simply thinking of him made her restless, achy. But lying in his arms? Mercy, she wanted to touch him. Not simply rest her hand on his chest, but run her hand over the contours beneath her arm, skim her fingers through his dark brown hair and feel the smoothness of his cheeks.
They’d only met. She’d courted enough to know it wasn’t common to feel this much, let alone this much in such a short amount of time. And because she’d caught him looking she knew he wasn’t immune to her either.
Above them the rain tapped against the canvas like fingers drumming on a table. It wasn’t the downpour it had been but clearly they weren’t going anywhere yet. Her mouth curved. Twice in one day luck was on her side.
Doubting such an opportunity would present itself on the ranch, Katie planned on taking advantage of this one. Besides, there was simply too much inside her for her to lie still any longer. She was bursting with wants and needs that had begun the moment she’d set eyes on him. While kissing a man on the mouth had yet to prove enjoyable and she certainly hadn’t liked any part of being manhandled by the outlaw, Katie had only to think of Scott’s lips on hers, his hands on her skin and her belly clutched, her breasts tingled.
She didn’t know if her movement woke him or if he hadn’t fallen asleep after all but when Katie pushed up onto her elbow and looked down at Scott, his eyes locked onto hers with piercing intensity. Had he somehow guessed what she was thinking? If he had, what was she to make of his unblinking stare? Beneath her hand his breathing was no longer low and even. His eyes lowered to her mouth.
He reached up, stroked his thumb across her lower lip. “Katie.”
Any doubt whether he wanted this as much as she did faded with his caress, with the whisper of his words. Her fingers curled into his shirt as much out of desire as a need to anchor herself. He continued to trace her mouth then brushed his hand across her cheek, slipped it into her hair. His other splayed over the small of her back, drew her closer.
Their lips met, softly, gently.
It was a slow dance; it shouldn’t have affected Katie so strongly. Yet the moment his lips touched hers a bolt of desire blazed through her. It left her breathless; left her burning. Hot everywhere, tingling to the tips of her fingers, Katie trembled from the effects of his touch.
Oh, Jesus, he was in trouble. One kiss. What harm could there be? He’d convinced himself he could handle it. After all, she wouldn’t be the first woman he’d kissed and he’d managed to walk away from the others.
Besides, his convictions regarding the ranch were firmly in place, his priorities were straight in his mind, and so, he’d thought, what the hell. They were stuck there for the moment; it was plain to see she was interested and a little kiss to pass the time wouldn’t hurt anything.
He wouldn’t take advantage, wouldn’t hurt her, and, when they were ready to leave, he’d simply make it clear where he stood and that there wouldn’t be any further kissing once they reached the ranch.
But, hell and damn, he’d never expected this fire.
It was instant, like lightning slamming into the ground and setting it ablaze. There was no warning, no way to brace. One moment he was set for a few enjoyable kisses and the next he was fighting for breath, struggling for control. Desire, the likes he’d never felt, consumed him. His hand fisted in her hair. Oh, God, that hair. It was soft, thick and lush, and fell over her shoulders onto his, curtaining them.
Everything else ceased to exist but the weight of her against his chest, the trembles against his hand and those full lips rubbing against his. Teasing her with the tip of his tongue, he persuaded her to open for him. When he tasted her sigh, he was more than ready to answer her plea.
With his hand still tangled in her hair, he pulled her tight and rolled them over. His mouth closed over hers. He already knew her to be brave and adventurous but he’d expected a little timidity. Instead, she tightened her grip around his middle, whimpered when his tongue flicked hers. Her softness enveloped him, cradled him. Sweat dampened his brow, his chest. There weren’t any train tracks anywhere near them but he swore he heard a steam engine chugging by. Or perhaps that was his heart thundering in his ears.
Desperate for breath but unable to let her go, Scott buried his face in her neck. Katie’s breathing was as unsteady as his and it soughed in his ear. Knowing she was as affected, as aroused, added fuel to an already blazing inferno. Turning his head, Scott lifted her hair aside, opened his mouth, and kissed her heated neck. Katie gasped, dug her fingers into his scalp.
Lost in his desire, in her uninhibited response, he nibbled his way along her neck, tasted behind her ear, closed his teeth over her earlobe. She moaned, arched, and gave him full access to her neck and throat. As though she were his last meal, he tasted every bit of exposed skin, went a little more crazy with each whimper she made, each touch of her hands.
They were everywhere. Down his back, up his arms, into his hair, and clutched in his shirt. He burned where she touched, yearned and ached where she didn’t. He’d never been so consumed before, would have never believed such a thing was possible but touching her, tasting her, loving her was all he could think of.
His mouth claimed hers with searing fervor, his tongue explored with blinding need. Like the air outside, she tasted of spring. She was everything fresh and new and wonderful. And, God help him, he was desperate for more.
Sliding his hand down the column of her neck, he cupped her breast.
Katie hummed, arched into him. Already her nipple beaded for him.
Growling in return, Scott caressed her, circled his palm in slow circles over her aroused flesh.
“Scott.” She breathed.
Restless as he was, she squirmed beneath him, lifted her hips to his. Goddamn, he’d never felt anything so powerful. She had to feel his arousal; she couldn’t miss it. Hard and throbbing, his erection was borderline painful. Even through her skirts and petticoats he swore he felt her heat.
Katie’s hands suddenly pushed against his chest. He stilled as the fog of lust started to dissipate. But when he looked at her, eyes dark green and heavy lidded with desire, mouth wet and swollen from his kisses, he realized she wasn’t pushing him away. With her gaze on his, her fingers moved to her blouse and, unblinking, she opened the buttons.
It became a blur after that. Their hands dueled in a race to untie laces, remove layers, and press flesh to flesh.
If her mouth tasted of spring, her body was a feast, an assortment of flavors and each one tasted better than the next. Behind her ear, the faint hint of the soap she’d used the last time she’d washed her hair. Salt at the hollow of her throat. Her breasts sweet as the first strawberry of summer.
She clasped him to her breast, though she didn’t need to hold him as he rolled her tight nipple against his tongue, suckled it deep into his mouth. With her writhing beneath him, Scott dipped his hand between her legs, felt her desire.
“Mercy.” She moaned, licking her lips and pressing into his hand.
He swooped down, ravaged her mouth as he eased her knees apart and thrust inside her.
Dimly, he was aware of taking her innocence and her body tensing as he did. But she recovered so quickly, and began to match him thrust for thrust that he once again became lost to the consuming need he had for her.
Her tightness fisted around him. He’d never felt anything so perfect, so blinding, in his life. He caressed her breast, toyed with her nipple. When he couldn’t take much more, he left her breast and slipped his hand between them.
Her lower lip caught between her teeth. Sweat glistened on her forehead, between her swaying breasts. She moaned louder and faster as his fingers stroked and teased.
“Scott!” she screamed.
Her body shuddered; her release poured around him. Oh, God. Oh, God. He was lost, so damn lost.
Gritting his teeth, Scott thrust deep, held, and leapt over the edge with her.
Chapter Five
Despite Scott lying on her, Katie felt weightless. Mercy, what just happened? It was as though all the bones in her body had melted. Her muscles were incapable of the slightest movement. Even her head felt heavy, and trying to think was akin to swimming through oatmeal.
She’d never felt better in her life!
When she’d awakened in Scott’s arms and knew she wanted to kiss him, she’d never anticipated the potency it would have. Surely, she’d never dreamed it would lead to them naked in a wagon. Not that she regretted it, not even for a moment, but she certainly hadn’t set out to seduce him. Truth be told, it was she who’d been seduced.
In his arms, she felt beautiful and powerful. He kissed her with such abandon, such passion, as though helpless to do otherwise. Openmouthed with tongues mating, he’d awakened something in her she hadn’t known she’d possessed. Hunger. Wantonness.
She’d let herself get swept away by it though, honestly, she wasn’t sure she could have resisted if she tried, such was the force of its grip. It was all-consuming. The more he touched her the more she needed him to. It was a thirst that couldn’t seem to be quenched yet she knew only he was capable of slaking it. She’d put her trust in him, in herself.
And oh, it had been glorious.
It was what she’d wanted. Not necessarily giving herself to a man as she’d certainly never envisioned such a thing when she’d packed her bag, but she’d wanted to make her own decisions. Not based on what would make others happy, or what was expected of her, but based on what her heart and mind were telling her.
There were no regrets.
Content as she couldn’t ever remember being, Katie sighed and stroked Scott’s back. It gave her immense pleasure to feel the moisture coating his skin. To know his passion for her had driven him to such exertion. She could have languished as they were the rest of the day but suddenly his muscles tensed and he pushed himself onto his hands. Katie’s smile withered before it fully formed.
His eyes were no longer filled with desire. While just as dark and stormy as they’d been moments before, Katie shivered at the anguish within them. His entire face, now that she looked closer, was tight with pain.
He couldn’t regret what they’d done, could he? She certainly had nobody to compare him to but he’d been as lost to the passion as she’d been. She hadn’t physically hurt him, nor had he hurt her. There was nobody to pass judgment. Nobody need know. Yet the torment in his gaze spoke loudly and the wave of contentment she’d been floating on abruptly collapsed beneath her.
“What is it?” she asked, though she sensed she didn’t want the answer. Nevertheless she couldn’t stop from reaching for him.
He flinched and rolled off of her.
“Scott?”
His back to her, he stilled, raked both hands through his hair. “Katie, I—”
His troubled breathing filled their small shelter. Katie didn’t know what to do because she had no idea what was wrong. Why would he feel remorse for something they’d both clearly enjoyed? She knew he wasn’t married—
Oh. No, he wasn’t married but he could have a woman in Marietta he cared for. Jealousy twisted in her belly. She should have thought of that. It had been months since Jillian’s last letter. It was possible Scott had found himself a sweetheart in that time.
“Is there—Do you have a girl waiting on you?”
He shook his head. The longest suffering sigh she’d ever heard slipped from his mouth.
Katie pressed a hand to her heart. Thank God. “Then—”
“Rain’s stopped,” he said. He reached for his pants, quickly pulled them on. Then he grabbed his boots and shirt and slid down to the end of the wagon. “I’ll get the team ready. Take all the time you need.”
Then, leaving her naked and confounded, Scott hurried from their shelter.
For a time Katie was too stunned to move. She heard him outside, speaking low to the animals, heard their hooves plod through the wet grass as he moved them into position. The wagon shifted and creaked as he hitched them to the wagon.
Had none of it meant anything to him? It seemed inconceivable but what else was she to make of his reaction? He hadn’t kissed her again; he hadn’t been able to get away from her fast enough. How could it not have mattered to him when her body continued to thrum with the after effects? Hurt made it difficult to breathe.
Uncertainty wasn’t a new emotion to Katie but in this situation she had no idea how to deal with it. She couldn’t simply walk out the door and hide her pain behind the excuse of attending another party. She couldn’t retreat into the sanctuary of her bedroom and she didn’t have Alex nearby to lend a shoulder and sympathetic ear.
No regrets, she reminded herself.
She’d known when she left Pennsylvania she’d be without Alex’s friendship and support and, despite how Scott had walked out, Katie wouldn’t change what they’d done. If Scott had regrets they were his alone. That settled, Katie reached for her clothes.
It wasn’t until she’d donned her petticoat and skirt and was buttoning her blouse that she realized everything had gone quiet on the other side of the canvas. No wind, no rain. Even the horses were silent. But then she heard something. It was an unmistakable sound and it horrified Katie. Shamed her. With tears stinging her eyes, Katie sat unmoving, as she listened to Scott retch.
Bent in half, Scott swiped the back of his hand across his mouth. He planted both palms onto his knees and gulped in the damp air. His stomach continued to clamp despite it being empty. Shit, what had he done?
How could a simple errand have turned into this? He didn’t touch innocent women. Ever. It was why he never bid on any basket at the yearly church picnic, when the single ladies donated food in hopes of having dinner with an eligible bachelor. It was why, when the physical need for release became more than he could stand, he only chose the older, more practiced whores at Grey’s Saloon. The ones who’d been there long enough to get out if that was what they wanted. Or so he told himself.
But a virgin? A woman he was responsible for until they reached the ranch? His best friend’s sister-in-law? Goddamn it, what had he been thinking?
A vision of Katie as last he’d seen her formed vivid in his mind. All those glorious red curls spread around her like a fiery halo, her creamy skin glistening from their lovemaking. Her lips full and swollen from his kisses. Her pretty green eyes, sparkling. Her body still wrapped around him.
Scott shook his head, cursed. He was a son-of-a-bitch. While regretting it, wishing he could go back and keep his damn cock in his pants, he was half hard thinking of how perfect it had felt to be nestled deep within her.
It’s that kind of thinking that got you in this mess.
And what a mess it was. Wade was sure to be disappointed as hell. Jillian would never forgive him. Hell, he couldn’t see his way to ever forgiving himself. He knew better. He’d vowed to do better. Better by others, better by himself. This wasn’t the Scott Taylor he’d worked so damn hard to be. That Scott Taylor was fair and decent. He treated people with respect, earned every penny he made and never, goddammit never, mistreated anyone.
Not when he remembered too damn well how it felt to be the one mistreated, the one discarded.
Fighting back memories and his revulsion with himself, Scott stood. He couldn’t leave things like this. What had happened was his fault; he should have controlled himself, should have remembered all the reasons it was wrong. She was innocent. He owned something now. He wasn’t simply another ranch hand; he was a third stakeholder in the Triple P. He had responsibilities, commitments, and people who depended on him do follow through on what he’d promised.
And he’d just taken Katie’s virginity in the back of a wagon.
Scott breathed through his mouth to stave off another wave of nausea. He couldn’t afford the luxury of self-recrimination. He’d made this mistake and he needed to find a way to make it right. Scoffing, he shook his head. There was no making this right. He couldn’t change what had been done, couldn’t change the disappointment he’d be sure to see on Wade’s and Jillian’s faces. On Eileen’s. Scott bowed his head. Shame rolled through his quivering stomach.
Wade’s ma was the closest thing Scott had to a mother and he loved her dearly. He couldn’t bear to think of how she’d look at him when she heard what he’d done. And she would. He had no intention of hiding it, of not owning up to his actions.
He’d realized what it was going to cost him while he was still inside Katie, trembling from his release. When he’d gathered his wits enough to lever himself up and look at her, he’d felt horsewhipped at the frown on her face, at the questions in her eyes. She’d already been through so much and instead of protecting her he’d ravaged her, stolen something from her he had no right to.
Scott couldn’t say his mother had raised him better as she hadn’t bloody raised him at all and what she had done to him...
It didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to use that as an excuse for his behavior. Despite how he’d been raised, he knew right from wrong, knew how people were supposed to be treated. With dignity, with respect.
The wagon creaked, yanking him from his thoughts. This wasn’t about him and his sorry past. It had stopped being about him when he’d thrust inside Katie. Now, he intended to see it became all about her. Spinning on his heel, he headed for the wagon. Drops of rain skidded from the displaced leaves and plopped onto his hat and shoulders. The wind, he just now noticed, had also let up. Sun poked through the clouds as he stepped from the thicket.
Just as Katie slid out from inside the wagon.
While his heart hitched up into his throat, he had to admire her gumption. He half expected her to crawl back under the tent or take one look at him and start weeping. Instead, she boldly met his gaze then turned and started untying the ropes that held the canvas in place. Scott let out a huge breath. He was willing to face what he’d done, but he wasn’t opposed to delaying it a few minutes either.
