A Cowboy's Temptation, page 26
Scott led Katie to the family’s usual fishing place. It was a well-used spot and the long grass had been tramped down. They could sit if they chose. He cursed himself for not taking the time to bring a blanket. But then, when had he ever used his brain when it came to Katie? He shook his head, sighed.
“I’ve made a mess of things, Katie.”
She looked up at him with haunted eyes. “Why did you go to her? If you’d have come to me, I wouldn’t have refused you.”
“Katie, honey, you’re the only woman I’ve made love to in too long to remember. I don’t want anyone but you.” He could have happily gathered her close and stood on the bank of the gurgling river with his wife in his arms for the rest of his life but she was hurting and he didn’t want to cause her another moment’s pain. “I didn’t lie when I told you I only talked with Charlotte.”
She searched his eyes. “She knew you.”
“Yeah. But not the way you think.” He took a breath. “I was raised in a brothel, Katie. The same brothel Charlotte worked at. My ma was a whore; I never knew who my father was.” Her eyes went round and he knew they’d get a whole lot rounder before he was through. “It wasn’t bad at first, some of the whores, Charlotte being one of them, were kind to me, took me under their wing. Some even brought me candy sticks now and then.”
“And your mother?”
“Mostly ignored me and pretended I didn’t exist.”
Sympathy softened her features. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not. Those were the good times. Things got a whole lot uglier when she started to remember I was there and realized I could be useful to her.”
He thought he could but he couldn’t look at her for the next bit. He faced the mountains, hoped he could be as strong and stoic. It was one thing to know Katie had to be told and quite another to actually say the words.
“Katie, my ma sold me. When she saw some of the men look at me, she didn’t hesitate. She named her price and despite my screaming, my tears, she let them do what they wanted with me.” He tried to keep the images from filling his head but it was impossible. Some of the uglier, more violent ones were stronger than he was. “I would have died there. Some nights I wished I had.”
He knelt at the river’s edge, scooped some cold water into his mouth, swished it about and spat it out. For a moment he’d smelled and tasted the brothel and he’d needed to purge himself of both. He splashed his face with another handful, dried his skin with the sleeve of his shirt. Katie hadn’t moved. He wished he knew if that was good news or bad. Regardless, he owed her the rest.
“After one especially bad night, Charlotte rescued me. She hid me in her room until the bruises had healed and the pain was bearable. Then she gave me what little money she’d saved and helped me escape. Truth is, I’d be dead if not for Charlotte.”
Katie knelt at his side. Her voice was thick with apology. “I’m sorry I assumed the worst.”
He sat, plucked at the grass between his bent knees. “I don’t blame you for that. Anyone in your shoes would have. Heck, even Silver and Shane thought the worst and they know me.” He sighed. “I didn’t want my past to touch you. I never wanted anyone to know and suddenly it was all there on Main Street.” Shaking his head he added, “I couldn’t have handled it worse if I’d tried.”
“We both handled it poorly.”
His gaze whipped round. “You are not to blame. This was my doing. My life’s been upside down since I met you and I didn’t know how to fix it.”
“Are you sorry you married me?”
He bowed his head. “God, I’m terrible at this.”
Katie’s hands were in her lap, clutching the fabric of her skirt. He took one, laced his fingers with hers.
“I’m sorry I forced you into marriage, but I haven’t, not even for a second, regretted making you my wife.”
“You just said I’ve turned your life upside down.”
His lips curved. “I meant it in a good way.”
Katie didn’t return the smile. In fact, doubt remained in her eyes and voice. “You haven’t always acted like it.”
And here was where he had to be painfully honest.
“You mean how I’ve acted after making love with you?”
Her cheeks went pink but she didn’t break eye contact. “Yes.”
This time he didn’t release his hold on her. Instead, he scooted closer.
“Obviously I wasn’t a virgin when we met. I didn’t even want anything to do with sex until I was almost twenty. When I finally did go into my first brothel, I was sick. I felt as though I wasn’t any better than the men who’d had my ma, Charlotte. Me.” He rubbed his free hand over his stomach. “It got easier when I realized I was in control, that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to.”
Her gaze was haunted. “Then why were you sick after being with me?”
The sun turned her hair a fiery copper color and he couldn’t help touching it. “Because with the others, I had control. With you, I lost my head.” His knuckles skimmed her cheek. “It scared the living hell out of me how once I tasted you, had my hands on you, I couldn’t think at all. I thought I was no better than those bastards who’d taken their turn with me.”
The tears shining in her eyes were nearly as bright as the sun glinting off her hair. “But you never forced me.”
“No, and that’s what Charlotte helped me see. I know I’d have stopped if you’d asked me to, but you never did.”
Endearingly, she glanced at her lap. “I never will. You’re the only man I’ve ever felt passionate for.”
Blood surged to his loins. He shifted, rearranged himself. This wasn’t the time for distractions.
“The only women I’ve ever bedded were prostitutes, and always in a brothel in a bed. When I took you in the wagon, and then in the barn I was sick thinking there was something wrong with me. That I couldn’t control myself around you, that maybe because of what I’d gone through as a boy, some of their sickness had rubbed off on me.”
Katie squeezed his hand. “I wish you’d have confided in me, I could have put your mind at ease. I don’t know if it’s common to make love in a wagon or barn or anywhere else but a bed and I don’t care. Both times were beautiful because they were with you.”
He was beginning to rethink his stance on distractions but he tamped down his rising need. He brought their joined hands to his chest.
“I’m sorry my insecurities and fears made you feel cheap or unwanted.” He leaned in, pressed his lips to hers. Despite the thrumming need to ravish her, he kept the kiss chaste. “You’re neither of those things.”
A tear slipped from the corner of her eye. “I love you, Scott.”
Annabelle was the only girl who’d ever said those words to him. When she had, he’d felt ten feet tall. He couldn’t even describe what it felt like hearing them from his wife. His feet might never touch the ground again.
“I love you too, Katie.”
Her eyes sparkled. “Then kiss me like you mean it.”
His heart kicked against his chest. “I thought you’d never ask.” Claiming her mouth with his, he laid her back on the grass, careful not to put all his weight on her.
His early years had been hell and for a long time as he’d hid, lived off other people’s garbage, and struggled to find safe shelter, he’d cursed his ma, God, and all the men who’d abused him. Now he thanked his lucky stars. He’d never have ended up in Marietta and at the Triple P had it not been for his past driving him out of Colorado. He’d have never met Katie.
He pulled her closer, teased her tongue with his, savored the flavor that was Katie. It was a taste he’d never tire of. When her hands reached for his buttons, he ended the kiss. “Not here. Not this time. I want to do this proper. I don’t care which bunkhouse we go to as long as—”
“As long as we share one from now on.”
“Yeah?” He grinned as the last of his worries fell away. “I can arrange that.”
He stood, helped Katie to her feet. Despite wanting to be proper, Scott stopped every few feet, desperate for more of her kisses.
“I see what Silver meant.” Katie panted after a thorough kissing by a copse of cottonwoods.
“What Silver meant about what?”
“The day of our wedding, when she and I were in the vestibule at the back of the church, she said she wished she had a man who desired her so completely he couldn’t wait to get his hands on her.”
“Did Shane happen to hear her?”
Katie looked horrified. “No! Thank goodness or—” She stopped, bit her lip. “He did stumble into the room immediately afterward though. And come to think of it, he looked a little flustered.”
Laughter rumbled from Scott’s chest. Oh, he didn’t doubt Shane had heard. And he’d bet his share of the ranch Silver’s comment had everything to do with whatever happened between them in the saloon yesterday. He’d have to tell Wade. Together, they could gang up on the sheriff. But, for now, Scott put Shane and Silver and everything else out of his mind. Nothing was more important than his wife.
He kissed her again to prove it.
They raced the last of the way to the bunkhouse. After Scott opened his door, he swung a surprised Katie into his arms.
“I believe it’s customary for the bridegroom to carry his bride over the threshold.”
As he moved to step inside Katie reached out and grabbed the doorframe. Those beautiful eyes locked onto his.
“I appreciate you wanting to do this right, but promise me we haven’t seen the last of barn stalls, wagon beds, and anywhere else we might fancy.”
His lips curved into a wicked grin. “Now that’s a promise I intend to keep.”
The End
If you enjoyed A Cowboy’s Temptation, you’ll love the next books in...
The Frontier Montana series
Book 1: A Ranchers’ Surrender
Book 2: A Cowboy’s Temptation
Book 3: A Sheriff’s Passion
More Montana Born Historicals
Away in Montana by Jane Porter
Beautiful, spirited heiress McKenna Frasier—daughter to one of the Butte Copper Kings—vowed eternal love to Sinclair Douglas before she left for college and an introduction to society. Four years in New York and travel abroad have opened her eyes, making her realize she wanted more than marriage and a simple Montana life. But when McKenna commits an unforgivable transgression and destroys her reputation, her dreams are shattered and she is forced to return to Montana disgraced, disowned and unmarriageable.
Sinclair Douglas left Butte to escape the Frasier power and Frasier name, but suddenly all anyone talks about in Marietta is scandalous McKenna Douglas, Paradise Valley’s new teacher. Sin doesn’t want to know about McKenna anymore. He doesn’t want to have to help her, and he sure as hell doesn’t want to love her. But McKenna has lived so long in his heart that it’s her home—even if she doesn’t deserve to be there.
But if there is one man who knows how to rebuild a life when all dreams have been smashed, it’s fierce, uncompromising Sinclair Douglas. Can Sinclair and McKenna heal enough to find their own Christmas miracle, and one more chance at love?
About the Author
Award-winning author Michelle Beattie began writing in 1995, almost immediately after returning from her honeymoon. It took 12 long years but she achieved her dream of seeing her name on the cover of a book when she sold her novel, What A Pirate Desires, in 2007. Since then she’s written and published several more historical novels as well a contemporary. Her pirate books have sold in several languages, been reviewed in Publisher’s Weekly and Romantic Times. Two of her independent self-published works went on to win the Reader’s Choice Silken Sands Self-Published Star Contest.
When Michelle isn’t writing she enjoys playing golf, reading, walking her dog, travelling and sitting outside enjoying the peace of country life. Michelle comes from a large family and treasures her brothers and sister as well as the dozens of aunts, uncles and cousins she’s proud to call family. She lives outside a tiny town in east-central Alberta, Canada with her husband, two teenage daughters and their dog, Ty.
Visit Michelle at her website at MichelleBeattie.com
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Michelle Beattie, A Cowboy's Temptation
