“You won’t be alone. I’ll always be available to talk, you’ll have an assistant, and there will be a manager in each store. You will have a hand in all of those people, and they will all be working for you. This is a big job.”

  I stared at the paper again. That number was a big number. The kind of number it would have taken me three years to earn in any other job I’d ever had. Maybe four years. “What about Matty? And Joey? I don’t know if I feel comfortable leaving them if I have to travel. I don’t have anyone who could stay with them.”

  Finley smiled. “Yes, you do. Anna, you’re not alone. Not anymore. I know you don’t like accepting help, but Trent and I will take the boys anytime you need to travel. We have plenty of space. And Hudson—”

  “Is not an option,” I said firmly.

  “Why did you two breakup?”

  “Because he doesn’t think I’m capable of taking care of my family. This proves it.”

  Finley chuckled. “I’ve never known a more capable person than you. How could you ever think you’re not capable of taking care of your family?”

  “Hudson said he wanted to pay for Joey’s college. Because I can’t afford to. He decided to be the savior and swoop in and take care of it. He wanted to control me.”

  Finley shook her head slowly. “Oh, Anna. I’m so sorry. Hudson is the kind of person who goes big when he cares about someone. There are no small measures for him. He loves with his whole self, and when he can’t say the words, he tries to show it and it comes off as overbearing.”

  “He doesn’t love me.”

  “Yes, he does. He’s been a miserable asshole all week. He wouldn’t tell me what happened, but if you two ended things, that makes sense. I thought it was because the guy he wanted to hire turned him down, but now I get it. Regardless of that, I know he loves you. And I know him offering to pay for Joey’s college was his way of showing you how much you mean to him.”

  “I don’t believe that.”

  Finley smiled sadly. “Hudson jumped in when I got pregnant. He insisted on driving me to my appointments, and he was willing to be in the room when I delivered. He brought me food and made sure I was taking care of myself. He was everything I wanted Trent to be. He even told Trent off. He never once said he loves me, but I know that’s why he was doing it. Hudson doesn’t have family. Hillary, his parents… he’s been alone for a long time. I think he’s rusty when it comes to saying the words, so he goes above and beyond to show people he loves them. And you and your boys are at the top of that list right now.”

  Tears rolled down my cheeks. “I really don’t think that’s true.”

  “Listen, no one knows this, but Hudson sponsors a scholarship. It goes to one kid from the high school every year. It’s always a kid whose parents don’t really have the money to pay for the kid to go to college. He works with the school to collect applications and he goes through them, but since he knows so many people in town, he knows which families need the money. The scholarship makes a huge difference to the kid who gets it.”

  “Are you serious?”

  Finley nodded. “Hudson is always giving back. He always wanted kids, but since he doesn’t have his own, he sponsors other kids to help see their dreams come true. I really think that’s all he was doing with Joey, but without the secrecy.”

  “I messed everything up, didn’t I?”

  Finley shook her head. “No. If I know anything about Hudson, it’s that he will always forgive someone. But only if you mean it. Do you want to forgive him for the money or for the man?”

  My face twisted as I held back my tears. “I never wanted the money.”

  “What about the man? Do you want him? Because I love you, but I love him, too. I’m not going to push you back to him if you’re not really in this. I’ve never seen him so upset. Trinity said James told her when Hillary died is the only other time Hudson’s ever been this far gone. James is worried about him. I am, too. But if you’re not as miserable as he is, if you’re not in this, I’m going to ask you to leave him alone and let him figure out how to get over you.”

  I stopped fighting the emotions I’d been fighting all week and let Finley see how broken I was. I covered my face with my hands and cried like I’d been doing every night. As much as I hated what Hudson did, I believed what Finley said. He was trying to show me what I wasn’t ready to hear.

  “I haven’t told anyone I love them except my boys. Ever. My parents never said the words to me. I probably said them to Nick at one point, but growing up without hearing those words made me not know how important they were. When Joey was born, I knew what love was. That was the first time I’d ever felt it. I felt it again with Matty. And again with Hudson.”

  “Good,” Finley said through her own tears.

  “I don’t know how to tell him.”

  Finley shook her head. “I don’t either, and it’s not going to be easy. But you deserve happiness. Both of you. And I think you can have it together.”

  “I hope so.”

  24

  Hudson

  I showered, shaved my head, put on clean clothes. I was not going to fuck things up a second time. I couldn’t. Too much was on the line.

  I got to O’Kelley’s early and paced in my office. I was stressed and tired and tense. After today, it would be better, but until it was over, I was on the edge of my sanity. I needed it to be a good day.

  At exactly ten o’clock, I unlocked the front door. I stepped back and waited. I had to play it cool. Not because I was, but because the situation was delicate.

  The door opened, and I drew a deep breath. This was it.

  Anna stepped inside the bar, and all my confidence shattered. I sucked in a sharp breath, one that drew her attention to me. Fuck. Not like I could have hidden from her, but just no.

  “What are you doing here?” I barked.

  “I wanted to talk to you.”

  “I’m busy,” I said.

  She glanced around the vacant bar but didn’t comment. “I wanted to apologize for the way I acted.”

  “Great. Apology accepted. Have a nice life.”

  “Hudson—”

  I couldn’t do it. Not today. Of all fucking days, today was the day she decided to show up? To make amends or whatever the fuck she thought she was doing?

  I walked from behind the bar and headed toward my office. It wasn’t much, but maybe she wouldn’t follow me.

  I didn’t even get to close the door.

  “Anna, I don’t have time for this right now.”

  “What do you have to do that’s so important?” she asked, her eyes narrowing.

  I raised a brow at her. “You don’t get to ask about my life anymore. You made it very clear you didn’t want to be in it, so get the hell out.”

  “Mr. Grant?” a man said from the door.

  Anna stepped aside and turned to look at a very pissed off Arthur.

  Of course.

  I held his gaze for a long moment, already knowing he was going to walk out and never come back.

  “Hello, I’m Anna,” she said, stepping toward him.

  “Arthur Hill.”

  Anna looked back at me like she expected me to explain who Arthur was and why he was there. It was none of her damn business, so I kept my mouth shut. It only got me in more trouble anyway.

  “Well, it’s nice to meet you. I’ll let you two talk.”

  Arthur nodded to her as she moved around him. When she was out of the office, I exhaled loudly.

  “Mr. Grant—”

  “Please, call me Hudson. And please let me explain that before you say anything. I know I can’t ask you anything personal, and I have no intention of doing so, but what you just walked in on is very personal. Anna’s son is one of the busboys here, and we were involved. Anna and I, not her son. She’s the first woman I’ve been involved with since my wife died seventeen years ago. I’m clearly rusty with women because it ended.”

  “I’m sorry, but I have to say speaking to her like you did is likely the reason.”

  “Hardly. She ended things with me after I offered to pay for her son to go to college.”

  “That was generous of you.”

  I scoffed. “She didn’t agree. She thought it was a way for me to tie her to me or hold it over her head so she had no choice but to stay with me. She thought it was a method of control.”

  “Was it?”

  I shook my head. “I would rather be without her than have her feel as though she had to stay with me. That’s not love. That’s obligation.”

  Arthur tilted his head. “Why did you tell her to get out?”

  “She said she came to apologize. We haven’t spoken in nine days. I wanted her gone before you arrived so I didn’t mess up another conversation with you.”

  “Nine days? In other words, two days before our last interview?”

  I nodded.

  “That’s why you acted the way you did? Because of her?”

  I nodded again. “That’s no excuse for my behavior, and I apologize for it. My wife was my world, and when she died, I never thought I’d meet another woman I could see myself building a life with. When Anna decided she was done with me, I couldn’t really handle it. I took that out on you, and others, and even if you still aren’t interested in the job, I wanted to apologize in person for the way I behaved.”

  Arthur looked at me for a long moment. His blue eyes narrowed, and his lips turned up slightly. “I’ve definitely had my fair share of heartbreak and bad days because of a woman. I’m fortunate now that I have a wife who understands me and lets me be me, and three kids who are our entire world. They’re why I wanted to take this job. It would mean a better balance for my family.”

  “I understand. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a better impression and you decided working for me wasn’t in your best interest.”

  He rubbed his jaw and considered me. “I may have been too quick to judge.”

  “Really?”

  He nodded. “Love has a way of tossing us upside down and ripping out our insides and making us grateful for it. I can’t blame a man who let love in and got beat up in the process.”

  “Does that mean you’ll take the job?”

  Arthur nodded slowly. “Yes, I will. But I have one condition.”

  “Name it.”

  “Hear her out.”

  “Who?”

  “Anna. Let her say what she needs to say and really listen to her. She didn’t look like a woman who was here to rub salt in your wounds.”

  “Just seeing her rubs salt in my wounds.”

  “If what she has to say doesn’t soothe some of that, you can let her go. But if it does, maybe you’ll find a way back to each other.”

  I rubbed my head and sighed heavily. Everything inside me was raw and sore. Just being in the same room with Anna hurt. The last thing I wanted to do was have a conversation with her. And the only thing I wanted to do was have a conversation with her.

  I finally nodded. “I’ll talk to her. I can’t promise anything, but—”

  “Give her a chance. That’s all I ask. And I’m happy to see my first impression of you was accurate. I think this will be a great place to work.”

  “Thank you, Arthur. I’m really looking forward to having you here.”

  We talked another fifteen minutes about the job and when he would start, then he left. I’d heard movement and voices in the bar, so I knew it was well in hand and I could take a few minutes to process seeing Anna.

  I tossed my ball cap on my desk and rubbed my temples. The sight of her lingered in my mind. Her jeans were fitted, hugging her curves and making my mouth water. Her pink shirt rested on the top of her breasts and hung loose to her hips. Her hair fell in soft waves. She looked good. Not happy, but good.

  I hoped she was. As much as it hurt to let her go, I wanted her to be happy. I accepted that as the truth. She decided I wasn’t the right person for her, and I wouldn’t fight her on that, so I wished her well. Inside because I wasn’t strong enough to say it to her face.

  A knock on the door had me lifting my head. She was standing there, looking like a dream I conjured. “I thought you left.”

  She shook her head. “Can we talk? Please.”

  It was that one word that did it. That made me agree when I knew it would crush me. I promised Arthur, but I intended to put it off for a while. Until being in the same space as her didn’t hurt so badly.

  I nodded.

  She sat in the chair Arthur had just vacated and fidgeted with her sleeves. I wasn’t going to give in and start the conversation. I felt like an ass, but she was the one who came to me.

  “I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for judging you the way I did.”

  She looked up at me, and I nodded.

  “It wasn’t fair. I…” She swallowed roughly. “I’ve never known what it was like to have someone actually care about me. To have someone want to do something for me or my boys without expecting anything in return—”

  “I never said—”

  “I know. I know. My own parents took money from me and deserted me as soon as they could. My husband told me he never really wanted me or to have kids and felt trapped. None of them ever told me they loved me. And they didn’t. But whenever they did something nice, my entire life, it’s been because they wanted something from me.”

  “I didn’t want anything. And I definitely didn’t want you to feel like you were stuck with me. I would have created a trust or something. So Joey and Matty would be able to use the money without you even having to talk to me if that was what you wanted.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not.” She breathed a laugh. She pursed her lips and swallowed roughly. “God, it’s not what I want. I’ve missed you. But I know I don’t have the right to say that to you. I have never loved someone I didn’t give birth to. I never knew it was possible for me to. Not until I met you. And I will always carry that with me. I will always love you, Hudson. Thank you for that gift.”

  I swallowed around the lump in my throat. She smiled sadly at me, then made a move to get up.

  “You’re leaving?”

  She looked at me, eyes shiny with unshed tears and a smile that said she knew it was the end. “Just like I didn’t want to accept anything from you that came with strings, I’d never ask you to accept anything from me that did. I didn’t tell you I love you because I expect you to forgive and forget and fall back into me. You are an amazing man, and I’m honored to have been a part of your life for a little while. That’s why I wanted to talk to you.”

  “So, you’re still done.” It wasn’t a question.

  “I’ll never be done with you, Hudson. You’re a part of me now. A piece of my heart will always belong to you. I’m terrified of that piece because it’s tender, but that piece gives me strength I never knew I had.”

  “And that’s all you want. Is a piece.”

  She huffed a laugh and wiped at the tears that fell from her eyes. “No. I want all of you. I want a life with you. I want to tell you about the job offer from Finley and Trent and talk to you about Joey’s college options next year and have family dinners and vacations and wake up to you every morning and go to sleep next to you every night. But I don’t have the right to ask you for any of that.”

  “So you’re just going to walk away and not give me a chance to tell you if I want any of that?”

  She closed her eyes for a minute, giving me a chance to study her. God, she was stunning. It hurt to look at her from across my desk and not touch her. It was downright painful. But I had some things to say first.

  She lifted her gaze to mine and smiled. It was one of anxiety and fear. Two things I hated to see in her beautiful brown eyes. But I understood. I hadn’t given her any reason to think I was about to do exactly what she thought I wouldn’t do.

  “Tell me about the job.”

  She blinked and drew back. “The job?”

  I nodded. “You said Finley and Trent offered you a job. What is it?”

  “Um, well, it’s Vice President of Bookstore Marketing for MacKellar Investments. Finley’s going to open bookstores in some of the hotels, and they want me in charge of the marketing for them.”

  “That sounds like a great job.”

  “It is. I’m really excited about it. It’ll be some travel, but the pay is amazing, and I’m going to be in charge of a team that will run each store. I’ve never been challenged like this. Or trusted. I owe Finley and Trent a lot.”

  “I’m sure they feel as though you earned the job.”

  She smiled. “That’s what they both said.”

  “Then you know it’s true. What are you going to do with the boys when you travel?”

  She drew a breath. “If school is out, they’ll come with me. If not, Finley and Trent said they could stay there.”

  “It’ll be hard to have them leave their own beds, though. I think they should just stay home when you go.”

  She shook her head, letting her brown strands tumble over her shoulders. “Joey’s not old enough for that. I know they’re good kids, but I wouldn’t be comfortable leaving them home alone.”

  “What if they aren’t alone?”

  “I couldn’t ask Finley to sleep at my apartment. I can afford a nicer place with the new salary, but I’m not going to have a place as nice as hers. And I wouldn’t ask her to leave her own son.”

  “What if all of you moved into my house?”

  She gasped. Our gazes collided and held. Hope drifted between us and hung on the edge of her lashes in the tear that hovered there. “Hudson.”

  I groaned. “You know you can’t say my name like that and expect me to keep my hands off of you.”

  She squeezed her eyes shut, and the tear fell.

  “I love you, Anna. I want all the things you said you want. I want you and Joey and Matty in my life. And if you want, I want all three of you in my home. Tonight. Tomorrow. Whenever you’re ready. Because I’ve been ready since the first night you came to my house. I’ve missed you so damn much.”

  “You have?”

  I nodded. “Hell, yes. I never meant to make you feel like you owed me anything. Or to make you feel like you weren’t enough. You earned that job from Finley and Trent, and the salary and everything else. You are amazing. And smart. And strong. And everything I never thought I’d find again. I’m scared, too, but I know we can do anything if we have each other because living without you sucks.”

 

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