If I Can't Have You, page 26
part #1 of If I Can't Have You Series
CHAPTER 45
Loretta
He was ruining my night. It was time for the toast and time for Raynard to leave.
He wasn’t socializing with anyone. He stood by, with Raynell in his arms. That was fine, except he kept staring Chaz down, like he had a problem with my man. I was prepared to fight for custody, but I avoided a confrontation. A shouting match was what he wanted. An opportunity for him to publicly humiliate me and call me a whore or a slut wasn’t happening. I was not going to let him dictate whom I slept with.
Madison announced, “We need everyone up here on the staircase.”
“Come on, baby,” Chaz said. “Let me escort my woman. I see the way your baby’s daddy keeps checking us out. He missed out. You’re mine now.”
Chaz held my hand until I stood on my designated step. “Thanks,” I said, giving him a quick kiss. I didn’t want the makeup artist to see that or she’d have to touch up both of us. I couldn’t wait to see all the pictures of Chaz and me together.
“You’re not going to need your purse for the toast. I’ll give it to the planner.” He took my bag.
Taking it back, I told him, “It’ll be okay. I got it.”
“Okay, my bad. Never touch a woman’s purse. I get it,” he said. Making his way to the opposite side, he climbed the arch and stood next to Chicago.
Madison had outdone herself again. The white stairs arched over the center of the swimming pool like a rainbow. I wasn’t too comfortable with only one rail behind us, but she was right. If she’d requested a rail in the front, the photos wouldn’t be magnificent. Tisha and I stood to the left of Madison. The men were to the right of Chicago.
Chaz tapped his glass three times, then said, “May I have everyone’s attention. It is my honor and privilege to do the toast. I couldn’t have asked for a better big brother. He’s always been there for me since the day I was born.”
I’d almost forgotten that Chicago was thirty-two and Chaz was a year younger. Their parents had done well. They raised two handsome, successful, wealthy boys who didn’t treat people like they were both above them.
Chaz continued, “I have followed in his footsteps all my life. If Chicago got straight A’s, he inspired me to get all A’s. When he went to college, I went too. The only thing I didn’t do was play sports. I wasn’t as brave as my brother. I did not see the satisfaction of having guys three times my size knock me on my ass every time I got up. I guess that’s why my brother still holds the record for the most yards running.”
We all laughed. I loved Chaz’s sense of humor. I wished I could’ve seen the expression on Chicago’s face. We’d been instructed to face the audience the entire time so the pictures would be perfect.
“Well, when my brother told me he was getting married, I didn’t believe him. I mean, he’s the youngest executive vice president and general manager in the entire league. Some of you might not know he’s on the GM Advisory Committee. He gives advice to operations on the integrity of the game, how to expand technology, and ways to improve the game.”
Wow, I was more impressed. I had no idea, but I wasn’t surprised that Chicago was doing so much behind the scenes. Still, he made time for Madison. Plus, he attended church service whenever he was home.
“I’ve never seen him happier,” Chaz said. “Madison, you are an awesome woman. We got off to a rough start, but you proved me wrong. You and your family paid for the entire wedding and didn’t ask us for a dime. I owe you an—”
“I’d like to finish the toast.”
“Aw, hell no!” Wanting to throw up, I clutched my purse to my stomach.
“Hi, dear,” Granville said. “I hope you haven’t signed that marriage certificate, because I have ours right here.” He waved a piece of paper.
Chicago said, “That’s the dude in the video. You lied to me, Madison? All I asked was for you not to lie to me.”
“No, baby, that’s not true. I wouldn’t do that,” she cried out. “I should’ve warned you that he’s crazy.”
“Loretta, that’s the guy who was at your house,” Chaz commented. “What in the fuck is going on?”
I opened my mouth, when I should’ve opened my purse. Nothing came out of either. I was speechless.
Granville pointed a gun at Madison. “Let’s go, dear.”
Guests screamed and started stampeding into the hotel. I was glad Chicago’s parents weren’t there, and happier that Madison’s parents and mine had made it out, but where was the mayor? I hadn’t seen her at the wedding or the reception.
Chicago pushed Madison. She slipped and fell into the pool below. Her landing created a huge splash. Tisha brushed by me and raced down the stairs. I thought she was going to help Madison, but Tisha ran into the hotel.
Granville pointed his gun in the air. “You trying to kill my woman and my baby! You crazy? You trying to kill my woman? I will kill you! I’ll kill you!” Granville said, lowering his arm. He aimed at Chicago.
I prayed, Lord, please don’t let him do it.
Pow! Granville fired above his head and I almost died.
I couldn’t see Madison. I hadn’t seen her get out of the pool. Was she under the stairs beneath me? Was she at the bottom? Did she hit her head?
Lord, Jesus, save us.
Slowly I slid my hand inside my bag. I wanted to shoot Granville; but when I saw Raynard shielding Raynell’s body behind the bar, I had to think about my family. Why didn’t he get our daughter out of here? If I hadn’t seen them, I would’ve pulled the trigger. I closed my purse and cried.
“Loretta, come down from there!” my dad said. I thought he was gone.
“Get Raynell and leave!” My father had nothing to do with this. “Get my baby out of here!”
If Raynard wanted to risk his life, fine. But he wasn’t trying to save mine, so I knew it was personal. He was somehow going to use this against me to get custody of Raynell. I could only fight one battle at a time. I was relieved when my dad got my daughter to safety.
Pow! Granville fired again. This time directly at Chicago.
Chaz grabbed Chicago. “Jump!” They both plunged into the pool, feetfirst.
I was relieved they’d escaped the bullets.
Pow! Pow! Pow! Granville fired into the pool.
All I saw was blood floating in the water. I needed to do something. I was frightened. I stood there watching the people I love drown and prayed I wasn’t his next victim. I wanted to jump, run, or slide down the stairs. I wanted to do anything, except stand by, but my legs wouldn’t move.
Granville put the gun to his head.
Do it. Do it. Pull the trigger. He deserved to die.
“Do it!” I yelled.
The police rushed in and slammed him to the ground. I cried with disappointment.
Granville yelled, “I love you, dear. I love you, Madison!” as the officers dragged him out.
I mouthed, “I wish they would’ve killed him.”
CHAPTER 46
Madison
My father held my hand.
I was on the verge of losing my mind. I’d taken more meds than usual, but the pain wouldn’t go away. My husband was on a respirator because of me. Unable to breathe on his own, he’d been in the hospital for four weeks. He wasn’t talking. I wasn’t sure if he had nothing to say to me or if he couldn’t say anything to anyone. I wanted to trade places with him.
“Daddy, all he’s been is good to me,” I said, crying.
“Remember what I told you. Don’t cry in front of him. He can hear you. Let’s step outside for a moment.”
My father had come to the hospital every day with me. He didn’t want Roosevelt’s family harassing me. We stood in the hall. My dad wrapped me in his arms.
“Madison, I know it’s hard, but it’s time for you to let him go. He’s never going to be the same, now that he knows you might be carrying another man’s baby. They’ve given his job to Blue Waters. And don’t forget that you still have to have surgery.”
I’d put off my operation because I felt I deserved to die. Three bullets fired into the pool and Roosevelt was the only one hit, three times. “It’s not fair. I can’t take him off of life support. Daddy, I just can’t do that.”
My dad reassured me. “If you love someone, you’ve got to set them free. Do you think your husband wants to live this way? It’s not your fault. You didn’t know Granville was going to show up at the reception.”
That wasn’t completely true. I had an idea that he might. I should’ve hired security. I never should’ve listened to Loretta. Now she only talked to me to find out how Roosevelt was doing. She acted as if all of this was my mistake.
Loretta was so busy apologizing to Chaz and kissing his parents’ ass that she was about to lose custody of her daughter. Raynell had been at Raynard’s since the reception. Loretta wasn’t accepting that her relationship with Chaz was over. The only reason he tolerated her was to find out what my intentions were. I hated what I’d created.
Daddy said, “Baby, sign the papers to take him off today. I’ll help you make Roosevelt’s funeral arrangements.”
Helen walked up and stood in front of us. “Over my dead body you will.”
Loretta approached me as though she had the power to make a decision. “What’s going on here?”
CHAPTER 47
Loretta
Once I found out Madison had given up on Chicago, I stayed by his side 24/7.
“I assure you I had no idea this was going to happen,” I said to Mrs. DuBois.
We sat in the room beside Chicago’s bed. I wasn’t sure if he could hear me, but I wanted him to hear me say that.
“I should’ve never stopped praying with him. Things would’ve been different. I’m not like Madison. She is my friend, but we’re very different,” I explained.
Mr. DuBois held his wife. Mrs. DuBois held Chicago’s hand. Neither of them answered me. Chaz walked into the room, sat beside his mother.
I approached him, then whispered, “Can we step outside and talk?”
His lips tightened as he stood. He nodded toward the door. His parents remained quiet. Maybe they were tired of hearing my apologies. Perhaps I, too, should shut up. I tried maintaining my silence, but my conscience constantly gnawed at me.
We walked away from Chicago’s room. “I know you don’t like apologies, but I’m so sorry this happened to Chicago. I pray you’re not mad at me.”
Chaz folded his arms across his chest. Tears filled his eyes. He pressed his thumb into the corner of his eye sockets, then sniffled. I’d never seen him cry.
“If my brother dies in there, I don’t know what I’ll do without him. Besides my folks, Chicago is all I’ve got,” he cried.
I blinked trying to hold back my tears but I couldn’t. “Chicago is a fighter. He’ll make it. It’s just going to take time and prayer. And regardless what happens between you and me, I’ll always be here for you. I love you, Chaz.”
Opening my arms to him, he shook his head, then quietly walked away. I deserved that. But I was relieved that for the first time, I’d confessed my feeling for him, to him. I wasn’t giving up on being with that man.
When the door to Chicago’s room closed, two of the men I cared deeply for were inside. I stayed in the hallway and called Madison. If I could get good news from her, I could tell Chaz’s family, and they’d all love me.
When Madison answered, I asked her, “Hey, what did you decide?”
“Why? So you can go back and report to Chaz and his family? Loretta, this is your fault and I’m sick of you acting like it’s mine. Please stop calling me.” Madison ended the call.
I called her back. “Wait. Hear me out.”
“What now?”
“Granville. Are you going to testify against him?”
“Good-bye.” She hung up again.
I went to the restroom. Refreshed my raspberry lip gloss. When I returned to the room, Madison was there.
“Madison, we need to talk. You need to sit down, respect Chicago’s mother, and listen to what she has to say. We can’t change Chicago’s situation, but we can come together to decide what’s in his best interest.” I was the only sensible one trying to make peace.
Madison still looked amazing. If Chicago died in this hospital, Madison would have ring number ten before he was buried. The way Blue Waters had been seen out with her made me wonder if Madison had set Chicago up.
Mrs. DuBois said, “You’re not going to take my son off of the respirator. That’s final.”
“It would be final if you had the right to make that decision. Like it or not, I’m Mrs. Roosevelt DuBois. Not you.”
Helen stood and grabbed Madison’s throat. “You listen to me, little girl. You go against my wishes, and I’ll make you wish you were dead.”
She let go and Madison shoved Helen in her seat. “You just made my decision easier.”
CHAPTER 48
Madison
“I’m taking him off of life support.”
I stood outside Roosevelt’s hospital room and talked with Papa. I’d made up my mind, but was I doing this out of spite or had I made the right decision? My husband had made it through surgery, but he hadn’t breathed on his own. The doctor would arrive any minute with the authorization that I’d requested to take Roosevelt off the respirator.
America’s eagle eyes were soaring over my head. The entire football league, staff, coaches, players, and fans held me accountable for my husband’s condition. The press was outside, hovering like vultures. No matter what was in my heart, newscasters from every major station waited to report a breaking story. I’d become a known face to millions on the day I’d married a person many considered one of the greatest men on earth.
“Papa, I don’t want to deal with this today, tomorrow, not ever. Can’t we just give Roosevelt time and wait and see what happens?”
“Yes, if you want us to lose our company. Now that you’re financially secure, you’re just going to forget about whether or not we eat? Think about it this way. You didn’t pull the trigger. Things happen for a reason. Soon as you sign the papers, I’ll have my private jet waiting to take you away for a year. Your mother is going with you. You can have the baby and your breast cancer surgery. You don’t really know that guy who shot your husband.”
I heard a familiar voice say, “That’s not true.” Loretta stood next to my dad. “Mr. Tyler, she does know him. I know him too. And what’s this about breast cancer surgery?”
What was her damn problem? Loretta wasn’t going to be satisfied until we were both behind bars. I hated that she’d overheard about my condition. I bet before I got on the plane, everyone would know that too.
“Loretta, don’t let your mouth get your ass in trouble. Stay out of this. This has nothing to do with you.” Papa gave me a legal-size document, about ten pages long. “I need you to sign this power of attorney. In case anything happens to Chicago—and, heaven forbid, you too—I can take over your affairs.”
Loretta kept quiet, but she didn’t leave. An oversized bag was in her hand, a large purse on her shoulder. Her hair was in a ponytail, which I wanted to wrap around my fist. This was a time when I desired to kick her, or anyone else’s butt to release my frustrations.
I wished Mama were here. She’d side with me. Papa made her stay home and wait for the limo to take her to the airport. I signed the power of attorney. If he could take it all over today, I’d let him.
The doctor walked up, then said, “I have your papers. This is a decision you’ll have to make very carefully, Mrs. DuBois. Please don’t be hasty in your response. Your husband is in there, fighting for his life.”
I did have an obligation. And that was to do what was in Roosevelt’s best interest.
Loretta reached for the document. Her voice escalated. “Mrs. DuBois won’t be needing that.”
The doctor blocked her hand.
Roosevelt’s mother stepped outside the room. “Did I hear someone call my name?” She looked at Loretta and her face lit up. “I’m so glad you made it, honey. Is that my care package?”
“Yes, it is.”
“At least one of you has dignity,” Roosevelt’s mom said, giving Loretta a hug.
The doctor said, “I was actually speaking with the other Mrs. DuBois.”
“If it’s about my son, tell me,” Roosevelt’s mom insisted.
The doctor explained to all of us, “Your son has a fifty-fifty chance of surviving. If he makes it, we’re not sure of his quality of life. He might be physically and/or mentally incapacitated or he could have a good recovery, but it’s too soon to tell. We’ve done all we can. If you sign this, the rest is up to him.”
“Well, we’ll just have to wait and see,” Helen said.
The doctor continued his explanation. “I was asking Mrs. DuBois what she wanted to do. The decision is hers. She can leave him on support or take him off.”
“Over my dead body! The hell it is her decision. That’s my baby in there. All she wants is his money. I’ll be making the decisions here.”
I stared at her. I didn’t have to wrap my hand around her throat to make her choke. I had more power than Helen and she hated me for it. She looked away in defeat. She wasn’t so bad now.
My dad had remained quiet for some time. I looked to him, wanting to agree with Roosevelt’s mom. If my husband survived, would he want me if my baby wasn’t his? What about when he found out that I have breast cancer? What if he lives, then in a few months he’s the one who has to decide if I should live? Right now, I wanted to trade places with him. This was the most challenging moment of my life.
“Should I tear up the papers to take Roosevelt DuBois off of life support?” the doctor asked.
Loretta and Helen replied in unison, “Yes.”
I looked to my dad once more. He stared back. His eyelids didn’t blink. His entire body froze. His lips were drawn in, head tilted.
I asked the doctor, “Can I speak with you in private?”
“Of course. Follow me. The rest of you wait here.”
We got on an elevator, went two floors up. We entered a freezing cold room. My body trembled with fear.
