If I Can't Have You, page 15
part #1 of If I Can't Have You Series
Chaz stood. Opened his arms wide. Hugged me close to his hard body. “I could be willing to give you the world, and end up giving you nothing. Stop trying so hard. Next time, if you’re going to ask me or any other man for something, speak in the affirmative.”
I shivered. Maybe this was the wisdom Madison had tried to impart upon Tisha and me. Madison was like a teacher who knew the subject well, but her way of getting others to understand what was in her head provoked more questions than answers. Perhaps Madison was complex because she always had a hidden or personal agenda. The way Chaz said things made sense the first time.
“Loretta, look at me.”
He placed his hand under my chin. “If it’s meant for us to be together, it will happen naturally. I’m not my brother. I don’t do anything in a rush, and I don’t let women make decisions for me or tell me what or what not to do.”
I struggled to keep eye contact. I wanted to look and pull away, but I stood still.
His lips touched mine for the first time. He opened his mouth. I responded in kind. His tongue was sweet, soft, and felt like it was melting my entire body. I closed my eyes. Chaz planted more kisses on my outer lips as he nibbled and bit with passion. I’d never forget our first kiss. I didn’t want it to end.
“I like you, Loretta. Let’s go get out of these clothes. But first, I’d like to see your place.”
Leading the way, I said, “As you can see, this is my living room. I like to sit and chat here with friends or sit alone. Sometimes in the dark with a cocktail.”
“Is that your way of meditating?”
I hadn’t thought of it like that, but... “I don’t meditate,” I said, walking into the formal dining room. “I use this room for dinner with my daughter and we eat breakfast in the kitchen nook, when we have time.”
I started to tell him that Raynell has a nanny, but I felt that was too much information. And since he analyzed everything that came out of my mouth, I didn’t want him to think I was bragging about having paid help.
“I made this bedroom my prayer room.”
“This is different. I’m impressed,” he said. “This is really nice. My mom would like to have one of these in her house. Has Chicago seen this?”
“Yes” was all I said in response to his question. “Let’s go upstairs.”
“Before I forget, you can invite Tisha and her family to the game.”
“Thanks, I’ll do that.” I smiled, then showed him the two guest bedrooms, Raynell’s room, and then invited Chaz into my “large enough for two, occupied by one” lavish master space.
“Chicago has that same painting in his living room,” he said, pointing above my bed.
“I know” was all I said in response to his comment. “Here’s the remote. You can watch whatever you’d like. The bathroom is in there,” I said, pointing. “And I have a minibar over there. Would you like another cognac?”
“Yes, please, and thanks. You have impeccable taste.”
“Who said I decorated my house?”
“Not me. But did you?”
“Yes,” I said, smiling. I thought I’d cornered him; but I quickly saw how if I pushed to make a point, he was the type of man that always had a comeback.
Shaking his head, he said, “If you wouldn’t mind helping me with my bachelor’s condo, I’d pay you for your time.”
“We’ll see,” I said, entering the bathroom. “I’m going to shower. There’s more than enough room for us or you can wait until I’m done.”
“I’ll wait,” he said, sitting on the sofa and turning on the flat screen.
Stepping into the shower, I could not believe I had a man in my bedroom. I scrubbed everything three times. Flossed, brushed my teeth, gargled, styled my hair, slipped into a short and sexy blue nightie, and put on perfume. I was ready.
When I strutted into my bedroom, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Chaz was under the cover and asleep. I eased in beside him, lay my head on his chest, and stared at the ceiling.
Damn.
CHAPTER 20
Chicago
Today we’d make our big announcement.
I knew my mom wasn’t going to be happy. Dad would remain neutral. I wasn’t sure how Chaz would respond. My grandfather liked Madison, so the wedding date shouldn’t concern him.
Actually, hmm.
In the middle of my thoughts, I had a brilliant idea.
I stood in my office and stared out the window. Thousands of fans were lining up at the gate to enter the stadium for today’s game. By the time the sold-out audience arrived, over 71,000 would be here to watch us defeat Oakland. I wasn’t underestimating our California opponents because we were favored to win. I was being optimistic; I had every reason to. I was soaring higher than the eagles.
Scanning the VIP parking lot, I saw Chaz get out of his sedan, then open the passenger-side doors. Loretta got out, wearing our team jersey with the quarterback’s number, denim shorts, and tennis shoes. Madison would never wear athletic attire, unless she was exercising.
A beautiful little girl, who had a dozen red and blue ribbons dangling from her hair, got out of the backseat. Chaz closed the doors. Well, that was probably why I hadn’t heard from him last night or this morning.
Loretta didn’t seem like the type of girl to have sex on the first date, but the way she was smiling indicated they might have gone all the way. I didn’t expect Chaz to give them a ride. He said he was giving her a pass. I could’ve given VIP parking access to someone else.
Honestly, I didn’t imagine he’d like Loretta. Hooking them up was my way of doing Loretta that favor she’d asked for. I mean, of course he’d like the nice side of her. What man wouldn’t? But she wasn’t his type. Neither of us had dated a woman with a kid.
I didn’t understand why Loretta had stopped praying with me. She wouldn’t answer my calls or reply to my text messages. I missed communicating with her. If she became Chaz’s friend or, worse, his lady, then I’d have to find another prayer partner. When Chaz cared for a woman, he was like Madison, possessive.
Yeah, he preached how he wouldn’t chase behind a woman; but if he loved her deeply, he was the same as I was. He wanted to know where his woman was, when she wasn’t with him.
Tisha, her husband, and her kids got out of an SUV next to them. I didn’t see Madison’s red Ferrari. I sat behind my desk and picked up the framed photo of us. My very own Amber Rose. Knowing my baby, I was certain she had to make sure everything was proper for what we had to tell our families and her friends. I put the picture back in its place.
I hadn’t shared many moments with Madison’s parents, and this would be the first time Mr. Johnny and Mrs. Rosalee would meet my mom, Helen, my dad, Martin, and my grandfather Wallace, who preferred to be called Wally. Over the year Madison and I dated, we spent most of our time in one another’s company. The few times I’d met her people, her folks truly liked me, especially her dad.
Game day wasn’t my responsibility, but I’d checked in to see if there was anything I could do to assist the operations manager. As usual, he had everything under control. My secretary buzzed me.
“Blue Waters is here to see you.”
I didn’t want that arrogant dude to put a damper on my good mood. He’d never come to my office on game day. He never approached me in the respectful manner I deserved. I had no idea what he wanted. He should be on the field or in the locker room with the team.
“Send him in.”
Strolling in, he said, “Hey, Chicago,” like we were on the same level. “I need a favor, man.”
Say what? He wanted me to do a good deed for him? Gesturing for him to have a seat at my conference table, I couldn’t wait to hear what his five-foot ten-inch, almost too big to fit inside the stadium, ego had to say.
“What’s up?” I relocated from my desk and sat across from him.
“I have the utmost respect for you, Chicago. I’ll get straight to it. One, I’d like to use you as a reference on my application for a general manager position in Oakland.”
His asking was a real Scorpio move. All I had to do now was wait to get stung.
“What you really want is for me to hand over my job to you because you think you can do it better, when you’ve never been a GM or VP in your life.”
I despised this dude. He thought we were cut from the same cloth, because I was once an assistant coach. He was wrong. Yes, at the end of the day, we both got the job done; but at the end of mine, people respected me. Blue couldn’t replace me if he shadowed me for a lifetime. The guy lacked character. And no one could teach him that. Not even me.
“Man, I just told you I’m applying elsewhere. But I understand. Just because you’re the youngest VP/GM in the league, you don’t want to help another brother come up. I came to you because I respected you. What do you think of me?”
“Respected,” as in past tense. That was about right. “You don’t want me to answer that. You said, ‘One.’ What else?”
Blue nodded and clenched his jaw. “You don’t know me. You’re tripping because your girl was trying to get with me. Forget I asked for your help. And if you should ever need mine, remember this moment. The other thing I was going to tell you—although it’s none of my business—you’re making a huge mistake if you marry Madison.”
“Why? Because she wouldn’t date you?”
“You’re entitled to your opinion. Open your eyes and close your nose. She’s . . . Never mind. Madison might be your woman, but she’s on my team. Congratulations. Thanks for your help.”
Blue pushed back his chair.
“I hope you do get a GM position so I don’t have to fire your ass. And if you should find your way back to my office, or want to talk with me, check your damn ego before stepping into my office. Now get out.”
Blue stood, shook his head, then left. I returned to the window. Mom, Dad, and my grandfather had arrived. I waited ten minutes, but Madison’s car wasn’t in the lot. What did he mean Madison was on his team? That was his way of trying to get inside my head. I wasn’t having it. I was taking Chaz’s advice. I didn’t call her. I headed to my suite to greet my family and guests.
“Welcome, I’m glad y’all made it. Help yourselves to anything you want.” I kissed my mother on the cheek and hugged my dad and grandfather.
“Hi, Chicago,” Loretta said. “Thanks for having us.”
“Yeah, man. My family really appreciates this,” Darryl said.
Chaz pulled me to the side. “Thanks for introducing me to Loretta. She’s cool.”
“So you couldn’t wait to peel her panties off? You had to do that on the first date?” I asked him.
Chaz’s eyes shifted side to side as he stared into mine. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you wanted more than a prayer partner, partner.”
“Not at all, my man. Not at all,” I reassured my brother as I patted him on the back.
“Hello, everybody,” Madison said, stepping into the room.
My jaw dropped. Chaz’s did too. I told him, “That’s the only woman I want to do more than pray with.”
“Hi, baby,” Madison said, kissing me.
I wasn’t one of those guys who avoided lipstick, but whatever red product was on her lips never got on me. I liked that. That gloss that Loretta came in with had already lost its shine.
My fiancée smelled irresistible. She had on red high heels, a sleeveless, fitted blue dress, with red trim, diamond earrings, necklace, and my ring.
“You look amazing, baby.” I hugged her for awhile before letting go.
“Why is Loretta here? I thought we agreed she was not to come.”
Chaz replied, “She’s my guest. If you have a problem with that, it’s just that. Your problem.”
Madison looked Chaz up and down. “So not worth it,” she said, then greeted Tisha. “Hey, girl. I’m glad you and the boys made it. Hey, Darryl. I thought you’d be at work. Oops, I forgot. You still don’t have a job and you’re obviously not looking for one today. Probably waiting for your ninety-ninth unemployment check from Obama before you do the right thing. Not man enough to earn your keep. You gotta lay up on your woman. Oops, that’s right. You’re not home long enough to lay on her. Guess some other woman or man has got her spot. At least Tisha gets to see you for a few hours with your eyes open. Enjoy the game.”
Darryl was speechless. We all were. What had gotten into my baby? Since Tisha didn’t respond, I kept quiet.
Madison walked away from Darryl, but exchanged no words with Loretta the entire first half. I introduced my parents to Madison’s mom and dad. Within the hour my mom had assessed she didn’t like Johnny. She whispered in my ear, “I see where Madison gets her ugly ways from.”
Pulling Madison outside the room, I said, “Baby, I don’t think this is the right time to make our announcement. You’re not supposed to insult our guests.”
“Like it or not, what I said was the truth. That’s why no one responded. And I say, now is just as good a time as any other. We only have two months, and while both of our families are together, I’ll do it.”
There was no sense in arguing with her. I’d already given in to having the wedding in two versus three months. “You’re right. Let’s go back in.”
“Oh, one more thing. I have to go back to the doctor tomorrow,” she said. “Nothing serious, so I don’t want you worrying. It’s a routine follow-up. Now let’s go.”
When we went inside, Madison asked, “Why is your mother talking to Loretta? Are they discussing us?”
Mom and Loretta were hitting it off well. My mother didn’t take to too many people right away, but Raynell was sitting next to my mom and she was straightening Raynell’s ribbons.
I requested the suite attendant to prepare and deliver a glass of champagne to each of the adults and apple cider to the kids. “Madison, all you have to do is stand by my side at halftime and make the announcement.”
“Okay, baby,” she said, heading in Loretta’s direction.
Women were complicated. I prayed she didn’t say anything demeaning to Loretta like she’d done to Darryl. I sat next to Chaz. “Do you like Loretta?”
“Well, Mom seems to, but you know me. I think so but it’s too soon to tell. Most women start out extra nice. I’ve got to do something to piss Loretta off big-time. Make her really upset. If she acts a fool—starts cursing, hitting me, breaking things, or blowing up my phone—does any of that, it’s a wrap.”
The attendant handed Chaz and me the last two glasses of champagne.
“Roosevelt, baby, it’s time,” Madison said, standing in front of the window with her back to the football field. We were ahead by ten. The teams had gone into the locker rooms.
We stood close to one another. I placed my hand on Madison’s waist.
She spoke loud and clear. “We would like to thank each of you for joining us.”
My mother’s lips tightened immediately. I knew what she was thinking: How dare she stand before us and insult us, acting like we are her guests, when it’s the other way around.
I made eye contact with my mom, then shook my head, pleading for her to remain silent.
“We have a very special announcement to make.” Madison gazed into my eyes, then kissed me. “Roosevelt and I have set our wedding date and we’re requesting your presence. We will exchange vows at church in exactly two”—she tipped her flute to mine—“months. The reception will be poolside at our favorite hotel, where we’ll spend the night, then fly out the next morning for our cruise along the French Riviera. We decided we didn’t want to wait two years to exchange our vows.”
“More like you decided you didn’t want to wait. You’ve got the whole thing mapped out,” Chaz said, moving toward our mom. He placed his arm around her shoulder. “You cool with this, bro?”
“Your brother is right, Roosevelt. You do not have my blessings for this,” my mom lamented. “I don’t like that girl, and now she’s giving me a reason to hate her.” Mother pointed at Madison, then shook her finger hard and fast. “What do you want from my son, you gold digger?”
Madison exhaled. “Not this again. Look, Helen. I love Roosevelt. He’s grown. He doesn’t need your permission.”
“Well, you have my blessings,” Mr. Tyler said, holding his drink in the air.
“Johnny, tell Madison to stop being disrespectful,” Mrs. Tyler commented. “We didn’t raise her this way.”
“Mama, I don’t mean any disrespect, but nothing that I do pleases Helen. You heard her. She hates me. I’m not marrying her, Mama. I’m marrying her son.”
Loretta approached me and whispered in my ear, “Congratulations, Chicago”; then she grabbed Raynell’s hand and told Chaz, “Friend or no friend, I can’t watch Madison disrespect your mom like this. Whenever you’re ready, let’s go.”
My mom’s eyes narrowed. She didn’t blink. Mom rolled her eyes at Madison; then she looked at me; then my mother walked out. Dad followed Mom.
Chaz followed Loretta. Darryl sat down and began watching the second half of the game. “Congratulations, Chicago and Madison. I may never get this chance again. Tisha, we are not going anywhere until the last second ticks off the clock.”
“Cheers,” Madison said. “As soon as the shock wears off, everyone will be okay.”
I was disgusted and delighted at the same time. The fallouts between my Mom and my fiancée had to stop.
“Baby, I know you have a hard time with my mother, but make this your last time disrespecting her, or there will be no wedding.”
CHAPTER 21
Granville
Open your blinds wider so i can see you better.
Madison was in her family room with him. She’d gone to the game. Chicago had followed her to her house afterward. He’d been there for three hours, watching television. How much longer was she going to make me stand by like a voyeur? I was her man. Not him!
They moved away from the sofa by the window.
now i can’t see you at all bitch!
I yelled, “I don’t care how much money he has! He’s not better than me.”
Sitting in front of my computer, which was on a TV tray that I used as my desk, I was happy and sad when I spotted them in her backyard. I was happy because I could see them again, but I was pissed off at what I saw. Madison and Chicago were lounging naked by her pool. Her lips were all over his body. She didn’t do that to me. I didn’t know she had a pool, until I installed this awesome program.
