Too Much, Not Enough, page 11
“Can we talk for a sec?” I ask, and he leans back in his chair, gesturing for me to take a seat. I walk over on shaky legs, because I feel a bit stupid about how I went off at him earlier, and also because I never knew he wore glasses, and by God does it make him even hotter.
He takes the glasses off as I sit down and places them on the desk.
“So, what can I do for you?” he asks, and I guess this is where I eat humble pie and apologise for being offish earlier.
“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for how I acted before, you know, about Danny. I get that you’re just trying to look out for your son.”
“Not just him, Cameron,” he says, and my eyes lock with his. He doesn’t need to say anything as a whole host of emotions pass between us without words needing to be said.
“It’s just… it’s all a little…” I fail to find what I need to say.
“Fucked up?” he finishes, and it makes me laugh nervously.
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Look, I get it, but we’re adults who can get past whatever this weirdness is… aren’t we?” he asks cautiously, and I realise that I need to let go of whatever it is I felt for him all those years ago, because he is a work colleague and my ex’s father, and nothing more. Despite what Marcie was just saying to me in her office.
“Yeah, we can,” I tell him, and he gives me his killer-watt smile that sends every one of my nerve endings into a frenzy, and that’s without him even touching me. There really is no hope for me, is there?
“Anyway, I just came here to say that, and to say that I have no intention of speaking to Danny again,” I tell him as I stand up and give him a slight nod of my head.
“Let me ask you a question,” he says, stopping me from turning to go to the door.
“Sure.”
“Do you want to speak to Danny again?”
“No,” I answer with no hesitation whatsoever. “He turned into someone I don’t even recognise, and we weren’t even together all that long, so really, it’s not a big deal to me.” And it isn’t. Yes, I may have liked him previously, but all of that changed the moment he put his hands on me—and the fact that Caleb is his dad, obviously.
“Did you love him?” he asks.
“No.” Again, no hesitation. “And clearly, we’re not stepping into any awkwardness here,” I say, but I make my tone light, so he knows I’m not getting all pissy about it.
He lets out a huff of laughter and I take that as my cue to leave, but when I get to the door, I open it and turn back around to find his eyes on me, and I speak without thinking of the consequences of doing so. “And it really wouldn’t have been fair to him, considering I’m still thinking about a guy from my past and all…” And then I shut the door, leaving him with that final thought.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Caleb
It’s been just over a week since Cameron dropped those parting words on me… “And it really wouldn’t have been fair to him, considering I’m still thinking about a guy from my past and all…”
Those words have rattled around my brain more than I care to admit. Playing on a loop. Making me wonder if I am the guy she was talking about.
I haven’t actively been avoiding her since then, it’s just that work has been busy with the lead up to the function, and I have been working on several new projects that have needed all of my attention. But I guess it’s a good thing I’ve been so busy, because otherwise I may have charged into her office and tried fucking her on the desk… yeah, the horny teen inside of me is still raging, but I am a man of control and I need to keep doing what I’m doing, even if it does feel like such a fucking waste.
And now, here I am, stood in the function room as the guests start to roll in. I hate these things, but they bring in business, and my job is to poach as many as I can and bring them onto the books.
I’m suited and booted in my three-piece suit, my shoes have been polished, and I’m even wearing a fucking tie. I hate them, but when occasion calls for it, I’ll put one on.
Not only do I have to spend the evening schmoozing and wooing the potential clients, but I’ve also got Danny’s mother trying to get hold of me. Yeah, haven’t spoken to her in years, but all of a sudden, she wants a chat. I’ve had multiple messages from her, so much so that I decided to leave my phone in my office, because she’s like a dog with a goddamn bone. I can only imagine that she has heard God knows what from Danny—even though he’s still ignoring my calls and attempts to try and speak to him—and has seen a way in, a way to get money, a way to extort something from me. Not going to happen.
So, all in all, I’m feeling rather fucking stressed, and I’m trying to resist the urge to go to the bar and get absolutely smashed—yes, even at forty-two years old, I could still drink until I can’t walk or think straight, especially at this moment in time.
But then, a vision is before me, and I can think of nothing other than her.
Cameron.
She’s just walked in, and fuck me dead, she looks absolutely stunning.
She’s wearing a long, light-purple dress that has a slit up one side, going to mid-thigh, the material hugging her curves. The dress is strapless, her hair is pinned back from her face but flowing down her back in loose curls, and her face looks perfect. She doesn’t need makeup, and she has kept it natural, unlike some of the dolls in this room, and she is by far the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.
I see several of the males in the room turn to look at her, and I have the overwhelming urge to go and smack them in the mouth for even daring to look her way. I clench my hands into fists and put them in my pockets. This is what she does to me. Makes me want to claim her and let every fucker know she is mine. Even more so now that some arsehole across the way is walking over to her and taking her hand in his as he introduces himself.
Motherfucker.
“You okay there?” a voice says from beside me—Anthony.
I clench my jaw as I reply, “Peachy.”
“Christ, you’ve got it bad,” he says, and I finally rip my eyes away from Cameron and the arsehole as I turn to look at Anthony.
“Is it that obvious?” I don’t even bother trying to deny it. There’s no point. He’s seen what I am sure everyone has, if they have been observant enough to notice.
“Afraid so, my man,” he says as he claps his hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you just talk to her?”
“I can’t. It’s too complicated.” I have been trying to remind myself of how complicated, even more so since her comment last week.
“I’ve told you before, life is too fucking short to piss around,” Anthony says, and I sigh.
I lower my voice a little more as people mill around us. “She was with my son, Anthony.”
“And now she isn’t.”
I scoff. “That’s not the point.”
“It is, and dare I say that, actually, you knew her first.”
Christ, he’s going to make me crack and then I’m going to go all caveman on her arse by storming over there and hauling her out of here.
“It doesn’t matter that I knew her first—”
“Like hell it doesn’t,” he says, cutting me off. “You are being fucking stubborn, and to be honest, it only seems to be you and her making all the reasons why you shouldn’t be together.”
“What do you mean, her?” I ask. I know I’m thinking of reasons as to why we shouldn’t cross that line, again, but is she really doing that too?
“I’m not saying anything other than you need to fucking talk to her,” he says, and with that, he walks away, going to greet some more people as they arrive. Bastard.
I make my way to the bar and order another bourbon as my eyes drift back to where Cameron is. She’s smiling at the arsehole still, but then she turns her head and looks my way, our eyes locking together, as if she sensed I was watching her. I lift my fresh drink to my lips and take a sip, never looking away from her. She bites her bottom lip, and then she smiles at me in the cutest fucking way, before she turns and continues to talk to the bellend who is still fucking stood there.
I turn away and walk to the other side of the room, and I try to engage in meaningless chit chat, but my head is so far from the game right now. As the night wears on, and more men seem to make a beeline for Cameron, I feel so frustrated that I know I need a breather. I order another bourbon and then make my way from the room, indicating to Anthony that I need a minute. He nods his head, and then I’m making my way to my office. I didn’t acknowledge anyone else as I left the room.
When I get to my office, I open the door and then slam it shut, walking over to the windows that look out onto the balcony, seeing all of the people milling around in the garden. I put my hand on the window and lean against it as I sip my drink and try to remain calm and get myself together.
It’s my own fucking fault I’m not with her. It’s my fucking fault that she even went with my son in the first place. Had I not broken things off with her, it could have been so different. I’m beyond frustrated with myself, and I know that apart from going back in time, which is impossible, that there isn’t a single thing I can do to rectify my past mistake.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Cameron
Where is he?
I’ve been looking for Caleb for the last ten minutes, but there is no sign of him. I’ve been talking to a potential client and wanted to introduce him, seeing as he’s the head of marketing, and I pretty much thought that would seal the deal. He would be able to answer the questions that I can’t, having been working here all of five minutes, but he’s done a disappearing act.
I make my way from the room to go in search of him.
I head through the halls and upstairs, to the same floor that we both share when we’re working. I see that his office door is closed, and I open it quietly. The room is in darkness as I peer in, and my eyes sweep the room to see a figure stood by the windows that look out onto the balcony.
"There you are," I say as I walk in and close the door behind me. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. There’s a potential new client that I need you to come and speak to. They’re asking questions I can’t answer and…” My voice fades off as I see him swirling his glass gently, his back still to me. I stop by his desk and ask, “Are you okay?”
He lifts the glass to his lips and takes a sip, still not turning to face me.
I move slowly towards him, stopping just behind him. I reach up and lightly place my hand on his shoulder, but he shrugs me off and says, “Don’t.”
I feel as if I have been slapped. The pain from that one word shoots through me, and I recoil away from him, wondering what the hell I’ve done wrong.
“Caleb…” My voice fades, because what can I actually say at this point? I know I’ve done nothing wrong, I’ve barely spoken to him in the last week for fuck’s sake, so why am I stood here feeling bad?
“You can’t touch me, Cameron,” he says, his voice low. He moves, turning until he’s facing me, and the light glowing from the gardens down below highlights the side of his face. I can see that he’s looking at me, his eyes intense, and it makes my heart speed up a notch.
“What? Why?” I whisper.
“Because if you touch me, I won’t be able to control myself,” he says, before he turns to the other set of floor-to-ceiling windows and gives me his back once again.
My heart feels like it’s jumped into my throat, and I struggle to think clearly.
“Caleb, what are you talking about?” I ask, even though I feel like it’s a stupid question to ask, but it’s the only one I can think of right now.
“I think you should go. I’ll come and speak to the client in a minute,” he says, taking another sip of his drink and thinking he’s shutting this conversation down.
“Like hell am I leaving until you tell me what is going on here,” I say loudly, assertively, demandingly.
“You do not want to open this can of worms with me, Cameron,” he says, and I move forwards, until I’m standing next to him, just a few feet away.
“I think I do,” I say, putting my hands on my hips. “So?”
I wait, and then I wait some more as he continues to watch the people below us in the garden as they go about their conversations, unaware that there is about to be some kind of life changing altercation up here—I can feel it. I can feel that whatever is about to happen is going to change things irrevocably.
“I’m fucking waiting, Caleb,” I say, trying to rein in the temper that wants to take over and urge him to speak to me.
“Just go, Cameron.”
“No.”
“No good can come from us discussing anything right now.”
“Try me.” I’m not backing down. No way.
He finally turns to face me and drains the last of his drink before hanging his arm limply by his side, the glass held in his fingertips.
I feel my frustration getting the better of me as I throw my hands in the air and shout, “For God’s sake, Caleb, what is the matter with you?”
And my words are like the catalyst for him.
“You really want to know? You really want to know why I can’t have you touching me? Or why I can’t fucking think properly when you’re near me? Or why it almost drove me fucking insane seeing those guys down there talking to you, flirting with you, touching you?” he says loudly, taking a few steps towards me, sliding the glass onto his desk as he does, but I refuse to back away. I want answers, and I want them right now.
“Yes,” I say back to him, making my voice loud and hiding everything I’m feeling by masking it with stubbornness.
“Because I fucking want you. I never stopped, and it is taking all my fucking willpower not to take you and make you mine all over again,” he rages, as he stops just in front of me. My head is tilted back slightly so I don’t lose eye contact, and my heart is threatening to beat from my chest from his words.
“That is why you cannot fucking touch me, Cameron, because I can no longer control myself around you.”
His chest is heaving, as is mine, and then I forget about all of the reasons why we shouldn’t be together. I forget about the obstacles in our way. I forget about every fucking thing as I push my chest against his and lock my hands behind his neck, bringing his head down until his lips are touching mine and devouring me the way I’ve dreamed about for years.
I’m pushed against the window, and thank God for the slit in this dress, which allows me to lift my legs and wrap them around his waist.
We’re like two animals that have been starved.
We’re like two kindred spirits coming back together as one.
I’ve waited so fucking long for this moment, and until he walked back into my life a few weeks ago, I never allowed myself to believe it could happen, but it is, here and now, I’m right where I should be.
His mouth leaves mine as his lips move to my neck, his fingers digging into my arse as he holds me up. I claw at his shoulders, needing more. I unwrap my legs from around him and place them back on the ground, and then he turns me, so I’m looking out of the window. My palms slap against the surface, and his mouth traces along my shoulder.
“Is this what you wanted, Cameron?” he whispers by my ear as his fingers go to the slit of my dress and find their way to the top of my knickers. “Me touching you like this…” And then he slips his fingers inside of my knickers and finds my clit.
“Yes,” I say on a breath as I drop my head back on his shoulder, exposing my neck to him.
His finger rubs my clit in circles before he moves them down and circles them at my opening.
“Already so fucking wet for me,” he says, and the thrill that shoots through me has me widening my legs a little more for him. He pushes inside and places his thumb on my clit, and I cry out.
I grind on his hand as he drives me into a frenzy.
“Look at them all down there,” he says, and I lift my head from his shoulder and look out of the window and down to the garden below. “None of them have any idea that I’m about to fuck you against this window…”
He removes his fingers from me and pulls them out of my knickers, before turning me around, slamming me against the window, and lifting me back up again so I can resume my position with my legs around him. His fingers that were all over my pussy seconds ago are now in his mouth as he tastes me. Dear God, I think I’m going to come from that sight alone.
He uses his other hand and pushes my dress up, and I reach down and unbuckle his trousers, freeing his cock, which is just as magnificent as I remember, and as hard as fucking stone.
He removes his fingers from his mouth, brings them down to my knickers, and pulls them to the side as he places his cock at my opening.
He stares at me for a moment. This beautifully handsome man, who I am head over heels for. The one I want to fuck me into oblivion and then kiss me as if his world will end if he doesn’t.
“Once we do this, there is no turning back the clock, Cameron. You’ll be mine, and I’ll be yours.”
His words do nothing to dampen the fire that has ignited inside of me, and my next words have him growling. “Fuck me like you own me, Caleb.”
He pushes his dick inside of me, and I groan from the feeling of him sliding in. And then it’s like all hell breaks loose as he fucks me hard and fast against the window.
I grip his shoulders, tilting my hips so he hits me deeper, and then he brings his thumb to my clit as his mouth claims mine and he swallows my moans.
I float onto another world as my orgasm builds inside of me.
I reach new heights that I never thought could be possible.
And then I shatter as he tips me over the edge, breaking from my lips and roaring as he comes inside of me.
I hold onto him for dear life, and when he’s brought us both back down to earth, he carries me to the comfy chair in the corner of his room and sits down, me straddling him, his dick still buried deep and me slouched on top of him, trying to regain my breath.
