Once and for Always, page 19
When Simon returned to the bedroom Bea was coiled up on the bed crying. Dora stood helplessly by her side with tears running down her cheeks. When Simon sent her an enquiring glance, she just shook her head and left the room.
Simon gathered Bea close. To ask what was wrong was pointless. He could not even promise everything would be alright. They would survive but at what cost?
Bea looked at him in despair and whispered, ‘My courses have started,’ before burying her face in his jacket again.
Cruel, cruel fate. He could not even comfort her with the ultimate gift of his loving. All he could do was hold her until Dora came to made Bea ready for bed.
He paced back and forth in the parlour until Dora came down stairs carrying a bundle of laundry. She barred his way to the stairs but her expression and voice were sympathetic when she spoke. ‘My lord, I have given Bea a soothing draught. It will help her to sleep. I cannot forbid you to go to her but, please…..’ Dora pursed her lips knowing she was on the brink of impertinence.
‘I know.’ Simon replied sadly. ‘If I sit with her now, will you have your meal and come back later? Bea needs you more than she needs me at the moment.’ His little speech raised him in Dora’s estimation. It was a rare man who put a woman’s needs above his own.
The journey next day was a bitter contrast to the excitement of only a few days before. Even the weather had turned against them. The blue skies were replaced by a dull grey blanket of cloud that soon turned to rain that added to the gloomy atmosphere. They hardly spoke as Simon had run out of comforting words and Bea knew he did not want to hear her taking the blame on her own shoulders. Bea dozed from time to time, still under the influence of the painkilling mixture Dora had almost forced down her throat.
With Bea suffering physical as well as mental distress, Simon insisted on breaking their journey at Salisbury. Bea was put straight to bed in one of the best rooms the station hotel had to offer. Dora stayed with her and Simon spent a lonely and uncomfortable night in the tiny room and lumpy bed provided for servants.
By next morning Bea was feeling a little better, at least bodily. The griping pain in her belly had lessened to become a dull ache that spread throughout her body until she felt too heavy to move. ‘It has never been so bad before,’ she said to Dora as she got dressed.
Grace Hastings had made sure her daughter was prepared well in advance of puberty. In her own lonely childhood Grace had thought she was about to die at the first show of blood. Her only knowledge came from old books, all written by men, and almost incomprehensible. Common sense was more useful than exact information so she had just told Bea it was quite natural and nature’s way of preparing her to be a mother. It was a little uncomfortable and inconvenient for a few days but nothing to worry about.
Dora, even less informed, was more intuitive. ‘I think your body is confused. All the excitement of the wedding, the new experiences and then a shock made you too tense. And all this travel is not helping.’
As the train rattled its way eastwards Bea’s dread grew. How would they be received? This was not just her scandal. It would affect Simon and her family. Even Simon’s when the story reached Gloucestershire, as it was bound to do. Yesterday, in her clear-minded moments she had told Simon she would go away but he would not hear of it. ‘I love you, Bea. Once and for Always. I will settle for nothing less. We will see this through together.’
Bea would have been less worried if she were alone. She could disappear again but that would not stop others being hurt. She remembered her father saying, ‘Life is not always easy.’ With her recently acquired knowledge Bea appreciated that he had learned that the hard way. Her parents had suffered because they wanted to be together. She wanted to be with Simon but she did not want him hurt. Bea’s thoughts went around in circles, always coming back to the same point. They had promised to love each other for better or worse. Now it was time to put that love to the test.
No definite date had been set for their return but they had decided on an excuse for cutting their honeymoon short. Bea did not have to pretend as she carried out his instructions. Simon’s staff took one look at their new mistress’s wan face and drooping posture and feared the worst. On her introductory visit before the marriage she had been bright and friendly. Now she looked too ashamed to face them. Bea was too distressed to notice the wooden greetings but Simon frowned and took Bea up to her bedroom himself. Thank goodness she had Dora to act as a buffer.
‘Go to bed,’ Simon whispered as he kissed her cheek. ‘I have some letters to write but will return shortly.’ He went to his study and found the London papers laid out on his desk. They were not as pristine as he usually received them and knew that they had been passed around in his absence. He deliberately left them where them where they were and rang for the butler.
‘Lady Ridgeworth was taken ill several days ago. She insists she is feeling better but I want a reliable doctor to check. I know you are all concerned and trust you will keep the house quiet so she can rest. Mrs Cotton will inform the kitchens when my wife feels like eating again.’ He had done all he could to lead speculation away from the scandal.
Simon then dashed off a note to Jane saying he would call on her in the morning.
Jane arrived on their doorstep before Simon had finished his breakfast. ‘How is she? ‘Jane asked anxiously.
‘Terribly upset for the trouble she has caused us. Her words not mine.’
‘Or mine!’ Jane replied staunchly.
There was another knock on the door and Michael came in with Freddie. Freddie had a black eye.
Jane shook her head. ‘I told him brawling in the street would not make matters any better. Simon, what are we going to do?’
‘Nothing without Bea’s consent. I’ll go up and fetch her now.’
Bea was already on her way down and met Simon before he could climb the stairs. She had heard arrivals and could not let Simon face them alone. Dora came one step behind.
‘You, too, Dora,’ Simon added as he led Bea towards the drawing room. ‘Mrs Hastings and Lessing are already here with Freddie who has a black eye. As I have told Bea repeatedly, we are all in this together Noakes will be down in a moment.’
Simon had taken Noakes aside before they left the Cornish hotel to tell him the contents of the telegram. ‘We must go back to town immediately on the pretext that Lady Ridgeworth has been ill.’ The staff would get nothing out of his loyal valet.
They held a Council of War. If the staff were surprised at the inclusion of a maid and footman, they were astonished when Noakes joined them.
Simon explained Noakes presence to the others. ‘Noakes is totally trustworthy and has a wise head on his shoulders.’
Noakes was given all the facts which were also new to Michael and Freddie. All three were outraged and showed it in different way. Simon hushed them and asked, ’Have you any suggestions, Noakes?’
Noakes was silent for so long Simon thought he was going to refuse to answer. Finally, he looked around cleared his throat and bowed to Bea, placing himself firmly on her side.
‘My lady, I have read the papers. As yet nothing has been printed that can be challenged. Gossip is hard to trace. I suggest we behave as though it has nothing to do with us.’
They went through the papers together, making a note of all the innuendoes and discounting them. The newspaper editors had been very clever. There were clues to identity but no names. They wanted to sell their papers without leaving themselves open to charges. It was always easy to direct any blame at a female, especially one unknown to society. Bea was the obvious target and Simon wrote down the main points raised.
The woman concerned was a bigamist.
She had beguiled a noble lord into an affair while still under the protection of an unnamed man only referred to as Mr F. and trapped him into marriage.
She had heartlessly involved her innocent relations.
A second list was made refuting all the claims.
First and foremost, Bea was not a bigamist as she had not previous marriage.
She had not consorted with Simon during her relationship with Fleming.
They were both well known in their own sphere and someone would surely have noticed if they had been meeting.
Simon had known of the liaison before asking Bea to marry him.
Jane had known of Bea’s bogus marriage to Fleming before inviting Bea into her home.
In short, Bea was innocent of all charges. It was not much to go on.
How to disprove the allegations without admitting they contained a grain of distorted truth had them at a standstill. Noakes’ final advice was the same as his first. Everyone concerned would act as though the matter had nothing to do with them.
That was not going to be easy. Bea had an honest, open nature. Simon had laughingly told her she would never make a gambler as she could not conceal her emotions. The others were more practised in keeping a bland expression on their faces whatever their thoughts might be.
The meeting broke up with all but Bea going about their everyday business. Left alone her brain whirled with confusion. How had the news got out? Very few people knew the facts and she had believed them all to be trustworthy. A trust that they were putting into practice now, risking their own reputations by supporting her now. It was a disaster and Bea could not see any hopeful outcome.
Bea picked up Simon’s lists and picked holes in the conclusions. How were Simon and Jane supposed to have known about the marriage if they had not been in contact? The story of meeting, loving and being kept apart did not explain how they had suddenly come together when they were both free. The obvious answer was correspondence. Letters could have been going backwards and forwards over many years. It still smacked of deceit while Simon and Bea were both in marriages but it was a much lesser crime than meeting.
To have been in correspondence with Jane was also open to question. If it was innocent, why had she not shared the news with her family?
Bea’s head was aching with the worry and she kept coming back to her weakness in leaving the anonymity of life alone for the joy of being with Simon. No matter how many times he said it was not her fault, Bea was still wracked with guilt.
The continuing bad weather and Bea’s supposed convalescence kept them secluded for two days. The newspapers ran out of new details and rehashed the old ones. All the things Bea had considered herself. The only new comment in the scandal columns was that some people were playing least in sight. But she could not hide forever. The world had to be faced.
Meanwhile Simon had been to see Jones and Son to set them sniffing out the original source of the gossip. They were not hopeful but were willing to do their best.
On the third day a weak sun broke through the clouds and Jane took Bea, in an open carriage, to the park for the fashionable promenade. They were watched. Many of the people who had attended the wedding nodded but did not stop to talk. Only a few notorious gossips and one elderly man cut them dead. Bea tried not to mind but was heartened when Lady Leith stopped her carriage and exchanged a few words and Lord Truro asked loudly how they had been served at his estate. One of Jane’s friends, Mrs Cowley, was walking with her married daughter and stopped to ask Bea if she was over her illness. Bea smiled softly and said, ‘My husband over-reacted and rushed me back to town to see a doctor but I was over it in a few days.’
Mrs Cowley nodded. ‘Then you will still be coming to the theatre this evening?’ Bea lied and said she was looking forward to it and the carriage moved on.
Society was a fickle beast. It thrived on scandal but was scared of being implicated. Opinions swayed but few individuals wanted to openly join what might turn out to be the wrong side.
Simon had returned to his office at Whitehall as he had meetings scheduled concerning the up-coming Reform Bill. In the lobby he was hailed by Lord Derby, the prime minister. Several men stopped their own conversations to watch the meeting and heard Lord Derby say, ‘A word with you Ridgeworth.’ Simon slowed his pace as they walked slowly along the corridor as Derby was seventy and not in the best of health. Derby had been a life-long friend of Simon’s father and done much to promote Simon’s early career.
In the privacy of Simon’s office, Derby sank into a chair and asked, ‘What are we going to do about this mess?’
Simon breathed a sigh of relief. He had feared being dismissed as the scandal might reflect badly on the Reform Bill which was close to Derby’s heart.
‘I don’t know, sir. Beatrice was the innocent victim of deceit.’
Derby nodded. His own long political career had not been free of scandal. His egalitarian views did not always meet with approval but he had worked doggedly for over twenty year’s championing the rights of lesser individuals.
‘You need to be bold,’ the older man advised. ‘The grand wedding was a good start, Entertain. Show the world you are unconcerned. Get your wife presented.’
It was sound advice but Simon did not know how to implement it.
Derby heaved himself to his feet and Simon accompanied him to the door. They shook hands and Derby said, ’Think about what I have said but do something soon.’
Simon had a lot to think about. Bea was already distressed that none of the invitations casually promised at the wedding reception had been forthcoming. On the other hand, none of the pre-accepted invitations had been cancelled.
Entertaining would be relatively easy. Enough of his friends and their wives had attended the wedding to make up a small party. Getting Bea presented was another matter. With the Queen still firmly entrenched in mourning some of her social duties had been taken over by the young Prince and Princess of Wales. Simon did not have reliable contacts in that circle. Bea needed a sponsor. His mother was out of the question and Jane, although respected, was socially insignificant.
He did not regret marrying Bea. He loved her and had promised to protect her. Her offer to live quietly as did his brother James’ wife, tore at his heart. He ran a distracted hand through his hair and then covered his face. Men were not allowed to cry.
Why now? He kept asking himself. Fleming had died more than a year ago and Bea had built a new life for herself. Had he been selfish in taking Bea from her safe hiding place? She had dreaded being recognised. Who? Who of those knew the details could have let something slip? It was so unfair. They had been so happy for so few days. Once and for always had become a mantra. He would resign to save the precious Reform Bill if necessary but he would never give Bea up to satisfy the gossips.
Simon reluctantly gave his attention to the pile of documents on his desk.
Their visit to the theatre that evening was not quite the ordeal Bea had expected. Bea loved the theatre. She had attended several of Shakespeare’s plays when they were performed in Cambridge. They were the only public events her father had ever taken her to. But she had never seen a comedy and was so caught up in the action on stage that she forgot about anyone watching her and just enjoyed herself.
The interval was trying as people roamed about, visiting other boxes or conversing in the foyer. Jane and Mrs Cowley swept Bea off to the ladies’ room and kept up a lively conversation interspersed with nods and smiles to those they passed. Bea’s jaw ached from the effort of keeping her chin up and a smile glued to her lips. Michael was also at the theatre but seated with some of his friends in the stalls. They all trooped up to the box and spoke with Simon and Mr Cowley while the ladies were away. Otherwise they were left alone.
At the end of the evening Bea thanked Mrs Cowley. The kind lady opened her eyes wide and laughed. ‘It can be daunting getting back into company so soon after your marriage.’ She gave a small chuckle, ‘You imagine everyone is wondering what you got up to!’
Bea did not know if Mrs Cowley was just acting out of friendship for Jane or if she really believed the gossip did not refer to Bea. Either way it was greatly appreciated.
The next morning the worst of the gossip rags mentioned a certain lady??? flaunting herself in public. The pettiness annoyed Bea. She had been for a sedate carriage ride with a relation and a visit to the theatre with friends. On neither occasion had she done anything to draw attention. Far from cowing her the snide remarks stiffened her resolve to face the world with a calm smile even if she was a quivering jelly inside.
Their whole support team were carrying on as usual. When Michael had joined his friends last evening and was asked about the gossip, He had just looked blank and said, ‘What gossip?’
Violet was more vocal. ‘Do you think my mother would have a woman like that in our house!’ Violet had exclaimed indignantly when probed for information. It carried weight because last year Violet had not been pleased to welcome a new cousin. Someone remembered Violet saying, ‘She is so prim and proper she insists on wearing black for a husband she is glad to be rid of.’ That did not sound like the behaviour of a brazen sinner.
Several days passed without any new accusations in the papers and Bea started to relax a little. She bravely risked going out without Jane to shield her. Escorted by Dora and Freddie she ventured to the shops and purchased an eye-catching hat. An unlikely choice for someone who planned to hide away, and wore that same afternoon.
Jane had persuaded Violet and her nearly-fiancé, Lord Ponsonby, to take Bea to an open-air concert held at the Royal Hospital in Chelsea. It was less formal than an evening event allowing people to circulate. ‘A half-way house’, was how Jane described it. Violet and Bea would never be fondest friends but a show of family unity was a good thing all round. Violet’s young set was more open than their elders’ and took Bea at face value. Bea had a sneaking suspicion that she was seen as Violet’s chaperone rather than being under Violet’s wing. But it helped to allay people’s doubt. No mother would put her daughter in the care of a fallen woman.
More heartening than anything else for Bea was Simon’s return to her bed. She had missed him while she was unwell and wondered if this was another high society convention. Her parents had slept together every night, no matter what the time of the month. Simon was as eager as before and taught her some new moves that delighted them both. Only in the day-time did she catch sight of his worried expression.
