The Firefighter and the Single Mum, page 4
“I’ll see you at…my place.” He’d almost said “home.” As if Lindsey and Josh belonged there with him. Giving himself a mental shake, he closed the car door and waited until she pulled out before climbing into his truck to follow.
The ride to his house was short. He pulled into his driveway, parking beside Lindsey’s car. He strode inside, finding Lindsey and Josh seated in the living room. Josh looked miserable and, sitting next to him, Lindsey didn’t look much better. He hated the deep grooves of worry around her eyes.
She rose to her feet when she saw him. “I’ll let you guys talk while I throw in some laundry.” She caught herself, and looked at him askance. “If you don’t mind?”
“Of course not,” he hastened to reassure her. Damn, he didn’t want her to feel like a guest, he wanted her to be comfortable. “I told you to make yourself at home.”
She nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. He didn’t think she’d appreciate knowing how much he liked having her there to share the housekeeping chores. Actually, he wouldn’t even have minded doing most of the work himself, as long as she stayed with him. Tearing his mind from these ridiculous thoughts, he turned to look at Josh and gestured to the vacant spot on the sofa. “Do you mind if I sit down?”
Josh shrugged, but didn’t make eye contact. Austin purposely sat next to him, trying to think of a way to get the boy to open up to him. “Josh, I think I know what you’re going through.”
Josh glanced at him in surprise. “You do?”
Austin nodded. “I know you miss your dad very much. I guess school doesn’t seem very important right now, does it?”
Josh slowly shook his head. “No.”
“Are the kids teasing you? Or are you just sad over missing your dad?”
Josh was quiet for so long he figured the boy wouldn’t answer. When he finally spoke, Austin had to lean forward in order to hear him. “The first time I skipped school, Bobby’s dad caught me. Bobby’s been making fun of me ever since.”
A cop’s son? The kid in the restaurant last night. Josh’s strange behavior was starting to make sense. He and Bobby, the cop’s son, obviously had a history.
“He has no right to make fun of you, Josh, but continuing to skip school isn’t going to help. Did Bobby’s dad find you again today?”
Josh nodded, his face grim.
Figured. The kid just couldn’t catch a break. “Look, Josh, I know school seems stupid right now, but you have to pull yourself together. The last thing you need right now is to fail your classes. Do you think your dad would want you to skip school?”
“No.” Josh hunched his shoulders again. “But sometimes I’m so sad I can’t stand it. I leave, because I don’t want anyone else to see me cry.”
Oh, man. He could completely understand. He wrapped his arm around Josh’s thin shoulders. “Josh, I also cried when your dad died. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
Josh swiped his face against his arm and sniffled loudly. “I just miss him.”
“I know you do.” He held onto Josh tight, wishing more than anything he’d been the one to die that day instead of Sam. “I miss him, too.”
For a long moment they hung onto each other, sharing their grief. He glanced over to see Lindsey working in the kitchen, keeping busy. These past few months must have been just as hard on her.
“Why didn’t you tell your mom about this, Josh?” he asked, when Josh finally pushed away.
“I didn’t want her to feel sad, too. She always looks like she’s going to cry when I talk about my dad.”
Protecting his mom. Austin couldn’t say anything—he probably would have done the same thing.
“I wish I didn’t have to see Bobby at school tomorrow,” Josh muttered.
“Somehow, you have to learn to ignore Bobby,” Austin said firmly. “He’s just a kid. There must be some way you can avoid him.”
Josh shrugged. “I’ve tried to stay away, but he always finds me.”
“Is that when you were caught using bad language on the playground?” Austin surmised.
“Yeah.”
Bobby was starting to sound a bit like a bully. Josh needed something else to do, something to help take his mind off missing his dad. “OK, here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to find something for you to do. Do you like sports?”
“Sort of,” Josh said without enthusiasm.
Austin racked his brains, trying to think. Bobby was probably into sports, so Josh needed something different. He remembered the Tai Kwon Do studio he had passed on the way to the elementary school. “What about learning martial arts?”
Josh perked up. “That might be cool.”
Good. So far, so good. “OK, I’ll talk to your mom about this. But Josh, you really need to stay in school. Just avoid Bobby and his friends. Your grades have to be top priority.”
“Can Tony learn Tai Kwon Do with me?” Josh asked.
“Sure. If your grades don’t suffer.” He suspected this idea wasn’t going to go over really well with Lindsey, especially considering her financial difficulties, but he’d do his best to convince her. Josh needed something to focus on, something that would help him deal with missing his dad. The martial arts were all about being spiritually strong, as well as physically strong. He thought maybe it could work. “I’ll talk to your mom and see if we can work out you guys taking classes together.”
“Cool.” For the first time since seeing Josh sitting in the principal’s office, he saw a spark of interest flare in the boy’s eyes.
“Just remember, your grades have to improve,” Austin warned. “Homework has to come first.”
“I know.” Josh nodded. “I can pull up my grades, they’re not that bad.” When Austin raised a disbelieving brow, Josh’s chin dropped to his chest and he added, “Well, maybe they are bad, but I’ll make up all my missing assignments.”
“I’m glad.” He wanted to believe Josh would pull himself together. “And I’m here if you ever want to talk about your dad.”
“OK.”
Austin stood, glancing toward the kitchen to where Lindsey was busy with the laundry. She looked so beautiful, with her blonde hair falling in waves to her shoulders, he had to physically steel himself against the need to pull her close. “Why don’t you get started on those missing assignments right now, while I talk to your mom?”
Josh frowned. “Are you going to tell her why I’ve been skipping school?”
Austin hesitated, not wanting to break the boy’s trust. Yet at the same time he didn’t want to lie to Lindsey either. “Josh, I’m sure your mom understands how much you miss your dad.”
“But I don’t want her to be sad, too,” Josh protested.
Austin understood. Josh didn’t want to contribute to her grief. “I know, but she loves you and needs to know you’re OK. Telling her might help her agree to send you to Tai Kwon Do classes.”
Josh grimaced but then nodded. “All right,” he agreed grudgingly.
Austin turned toward the kitchen, wishing he felt as confident as he sounded. Unease tightened his gut.
He and Lindsey needed to talk, about more than just the repairs on her house. Josh needed someone to talk to, someone he could relate to. He wanted to be there, for both of them.
He needed to fulfill his promise to Sam.
Somehow he needed to convince her to let him help this time.
Lindsey was grateful Dr Ellen Sandberg had returned her phone call so quickly. She nodded at Austin when he came into the kitchen and continued her conversation. “I need to make an appointment for Josh, as soon as possible. He skipped school again and they won’t let him back into class until you see him.”
“All right. I could probably squeeze him in later this afternoon, say about five o’clock?” Dr Sandberg offered.
“Five would be great. Thanks so much.” Relieved, she hung up the phone. Austin’s presence in the kitchen made it seem smaller than normal.
She was conscious of how Austin intently watched her as she folded a load of clothes. She flushed under his scrutiny and hoped he’d blame her red cheeks on the heat from the dryer.
“Do you think I could go with him?” Austin asked.
“With who?” Flustered, she glanced at him. “You mean with Josh? To his psychologist’s appointment?”
“Yeah.” Austin tucked his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “I’d like to go with him tonight to see Dr Sandberg. The appointment is at five, right?”
Surprised, she stopped folding clothes to stare at him. She couldn’t believe he was actually offering to go with Josh. When things had started going downhill between her and Sam, she’d suggested marriage counseling, but Sam had flatly refused to attend. He hadn’t believed there had been anything counseling could do to change things.
“I…uh…don’t see why not. Although we’d have to get Dr. Sandberg’s approval.” She hastily glanced away, wishing Austin wasn’t so appealing. He looked so good, even wearing nothing more than a casual T-shirt and well-worn denim jeans. He smelt great, too. For a moment she remembered how he’d stood at her side throughout Sam’s funeral. It had taken every ounce of willpower she’d possessed not to lean on his rugged strength. To keep him at a safe distance.
She wasn’t some pathetic widow who needed a man to get by. Sam hadn’t deserved to die, but she’d already planned to live her life without him. Jumping into a relationship with another man wasn’t part of her plan. No matter how difficult things were, she wasn’t going to be like her mother, leaping headfirst into a new relationship the moment the previous one ended. Lindsey had suffered through three stepfathers, not to mention some boyfriends in between. None of the guys her mother had hooked up with had been a contender for father of the year.
“Here, let me help.” He crossed over and pitched in, picking up a shirt and folding it. She subtly stepped away, trying to give him more room. The muscles of his arms rippled with the simple movement and she remembered the day Austin had come out to help Sam fix the leaky place in the roof. He’d stripped off his shirt, displaying the bronze muscles of his shoulders and chest to full advantage.
Not that Sam had been a wimp, but for all Austin’s strength there was a gentleness, as well, a softness or a caring that her husband had seemed to lose somewhere along the ten-year course of their marriage.
Stop remembering the worst, she told herself sternly. Sam wasn’t a bad guy, there just had been something…missing. Sam was gone, there was no reason to dwell on what had failed in their marriage.
Austin looked good, whether he was doing housework or repairing the roof. She had to stop comparing him to Sam. She needed to focus on Josh, not her inappropriate reaction to her husband’s best friend.
Besides, even if she had been in the market for a man, Austin wasn’t her type. She knew from Sam that Austin didn’t lack female company. Sam had gone on and on about how single women flocked to his friend. He’d claimed Austin never dated the same woman twice. She’d often suspected Sam had been jealous because Austin had been single and Sam hadn’t.
Thank heavens she wasn’t looking for a relationship, or she might have become obsessed with Austin, too.
Annoyed with herself, she finished folding the laundry and stepped back. “We should probably consider an easy dinner, as Josh has his appointment at five.”
“Lindsey—” he began, but then halted when his phone rang. “Hello? Hi, Mark. Tell me what you found.”
She listened, belatedly realizing Austin had to be talking to the contractor about her house.
The serious expression on Austin’s face was not reassuring.
“Thanks Mark. I’ll discuss the situation with the owner and get back to you.” He closed his phone and glanced at her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Did you buy the house from a Realtor?” he asked.
“No, I bought it directly from the owner. Why?”
“The wiring isn’t up to code. And the water damage from your neighbor’s fire means you also need to replace the dry wall in the right-hand corner of the living room.” His expression was grim. “It’s going to take a few weeks to get your house into shape before you and Josh can move back in.”
Stunned, she sat down in the closest kitchen chair. Surely he was exaggerating. “Weeks?” she echoed.
“Lindsey, I’d like to help. I don’t want to steal your independence, but I need to know you and Josh are safe. Plus, it’s obvious Josh could really use a good male role model right now to help keep him in school.” He caught her hands in his, his gaze imploring. “Will you, please, consider moving in with me? At least until your house repairs are complete?”
CHAPTER FOUR
“MOVE IN WITH YOU?” Lindsey stared at him, hardly able to comprehend what he was saying. Move in with Austin? So the two of them would be together all the time? Did he have any idea what he was asking of her? She pushed out of his grip, trying to rein in her turbulent emotions. “No. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
“Why not?” Austin didn’t get angry or upset, but looked truly puzzled. “Are you afraid I’ll get in your way?” An odd expression flickered across his face. “Are you seeing someone?”
“What?” She almost burst out laughing and quickly covered the strangled sound with a cough. “No. Heavens, no. I’m not remotely interested in seeing anyone.” Bad enough to realize she was attracted to him.
“Then why won’t you let me help?” Austin’s brows drew together in a frown. “This is what friends are for, to support each other in difficult times.”
Lindsey sighed. Friends. He’d been Sam’s friend, not really hers. Sure they’d chatted when they’d bumped into each other at work, but it wasn’t as if they’d had deeply personal conversations or anything. How could she think of Austin as a friend, when every moment she was with him she was so aware of him as a man? Impossible. She lifted her chin. “If I were a guy, you wouldn’t be inviting me to move in with you. But because I’m a helpless female with a young son, then I must need your support, right?”
Austin was quiet for a long moment. “Lindsey, you couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t see you as a helpless female at all. You’re a wonderful, smart, caring emergency nurse. I respect you more than I can say. But think about Josh for a minute. He’s obviously going through some difficult times. I got him to open up a little just now, and he is having trouble coping with Sam’s death. Don’t you think staying here for a little while might be better for him?”
She opened her mouth to argue and then closed it again, without uttering a word. He’d effectively pointed out the weakness she couldn’t argue against. Josh would always come first with her. She was thrilled he’d opened up to Austin. Maybe her son did need a male role model right now. If she was honest, she knew she couldn’t find a better guy for the job than Austin.
Still, she wavered. Hadn’t her mother often used the same excuse? We need to move in with Richard because we can’t afford to pay our rent. I’m doing this for you, Lindsey. Trust me, I know what I’m doing.
“No strings, Lindsey,” Austin was saying, as if reading her thoughts. “I swear to you, I only want to help. Why don’t you try staying here, just for a week or so, and see how it goes? If you don’t like it, I’ll help you move into a hotel.”
And he would. Deep in her heart she knew that much. If she insisted on going to a hotel, he’d take her. Logically, she knew Austin wasn’t like all those men her mother had hooked up with after her father had taken off, leaving them with a heavy mortgage, not unlike the debts Sam had left her. The men her mother had married hadn’t been horribly abusive or anything, her mother hadn’t been that far gone, but moving in with one guy after another had been difficult.
Ten years ago she’d thought Sam had been so different. As it had turned out, he had been more like her father than she’d ever realized. Which only made her that much more determined not to be like her mother.
“I don’t know, Austin,” she hedged, wishing she had another option. The memory of the Tollivers’ fire hadn’t dimmed from her mind. As much as she wanted to be independent, she wasn’t willing to put her son’s safety at risk. If Austin said the wiring wasn’t up to code, she believed him. “I’m worried about how this may affect Josh. I don’t want him to think we’re, well…” She trailed off, embarrassed. “He’ll look to you as a surrogate father and I don’t want him to be lost all over again when we have to move back home,” she amended.
“Lindsey, I’m not about to drop out of Josh’s life, no matter where you decide to live.” Austin’s gaze captured hers. “I’d like to stay involved if you’ll let me, as a big brother.”
His idea was logical. Tempting. Could she do this? Could she live with Austin while keeping her attraction a secret?
This wasn’t about her, but about Josh. She could suffer through anything for Josh’s sake.
Hoping she wasn’t taking the easy way out, she slowly nodded. “All right, Austin. I’ll agree to a trial period to see how things go. But I’d like you to try to get them to rush the repairs on my house, OK?”
“Sure.” Relief flooded his features and he grinned. “Thanks, Lindsey. You won’t regret this, I promise.”
His brilliantly white grin did funny things to her stomach. She managed a weak smile in return, hoping he was right.
But deep down she suspected she might look back at this moment with regret.
While Austin and Josh went to see Dr Sandberg, Lindsey busied herself with making dinner. She didn’t go crazy trying to impress Austin with her culinary talents, but threw together a simple spaghetti meal.
Still, she felt a warm glow when Austin sniffed the air with obvious appreciation when they got back. “Wow. Something smells great.”
“It’s no big deal.” She tried to downplay the domesticity of the moment, although she felt the intimacy keenly. “Like you said yesterday, I had to make something for Josh, and made enough for you, too.”
“Thanks.” His simple acceptance helped make her feel less self-conscious. This living-together stuff was going to take some getting used to.
