Only You (A Second Chance Romance), page 9
Around the corner, Adam proceeded to stretch his legs out on the couch and flicked on the television.
“Mom, there’s something I need to tell you, and you cannot panic.”
“What is it?”
“It’s Jackson. He’s alive.”
“I know.”
“What?”
“He called me. Actually, his mother called me and explained everything.”
“And you didn’t say anything?”
“That was only yesterday. And I didn’t find the right time.”
Of all people, I knew how difficult it was to find the right time, because I hadn’t been able to do so with Adam.
“I’m surprised you didn’t say anything earlier,” she accused.
“I wanted to, but it’s been a little confusing.”
“Because you still love him.”
“Mom…”
“It’s all right. I mean, you two were torn apart on one of the most important days of your lives. How could you not love him? Love doesn’t just die with time.”
“I have Adam and the kids.”
“Loving Jackson doesn’t mean that you cannot love Adam and your kids, and vice versa. Love doesn’t choose. It just happens.”
“I feel guilty.”
“Because you’re confused. Have you told Adam?”
I shook my head, and my mother smiled. “I was afraid of that.”
“What?”
“You still love Jackson more than you realize. That’s why you haven’t told Adam about him.”
“There hasn’t been a chance.”
“Then invite him for dinner, Alex. He’s almost like family.”
“Adam won’t think so.”
“Adam doesn’t have the history that you two do, but he’s your husband. He should understand that the friendship you two share is unbreakable.”
Unfortunately, I was afraid that my marriage to Adam was more breakable than my friendship with Jackson.
“I don’t know. Maybe after Christmas. We have Adam’s holiday party this coming weekend. There’s just not enough time this year. I miss Dad.” I leaned my head on her shoulder.
“I miss him too. Especially this time of the year.”
My father was one of the reasons why our family was so important to me. I wanted my children to have as wonderful a relationship with their father as I had with mine. He was my hero, who’d passed away from cancer way too early for his time.
“Whatever you do, remember that you have your family to support you, honey. And this news about Jackson had better come out from your mouth, before Adam finds out for himself.”
She was so rational. It would have been easy for my mother to berate Adam, whom she pretty much despised, yet she didn’t.
“I love you, Mom.”
“Love you too, darling.”
After my mother left, I changed into my pajama, brushed my teeth, and tucked the kids into their beds. Adam was already in bed, scrolling through his phone.
“Adam? There’s something I need to tell you, and I’m afraid about how you’ll react.”
He set his phone aside with caution and removed his glasses from his nose. Adam wore contacts during the day, but he let his eyes rest in the evenings and at night.
“What’s going on?” He reached for a tissue and blew his nose.
“Are you bleeding again?”
“Yeah, it happened earlier in the day as well. I think it’s the stress.”
“Have a doctor check it out, please.” I added a note to the calendar on my phone to make an appointment for him after the weekend.
“What did you want to talk about?” he asked.
“You remember when we met at the center, and how lost I was back then?”
“Yes, of course. You were depressed and almost…”
He’d promised me back then not to bring it up, and he didn’t. A suicide attempt wasn’t exactly the highlight of my life, and nothing to be proud of.
“I’m glad I met you back then.” He smiled, and there it was again — that spark of youthfulness which I’d fallen in love with, the one that had brought me back to life after I thought I lost Jackson.
“Well, you know that my fiancé was kidnapped.”
“Yes. Jack, wasn’t it?”
“Jackson, actually. I just found out that he’s alive. They let him go eleven years ago, around the time we were getting married.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah.” I returned his kind smile.
“How did you find out?”
“Actually, Lou found him.”
“Figures.” He frowned. “Have you seen him yet?”
“Yes. I have. In Florida. Lou sent him to listen to my speech without telling me.”
“That must have been one heck of a surprise.”
“I thought I was seeing a ghost.” I chuckled. What really surprised me was how easy Adam made talking about Jackson feel.
“I’m telling you, one day, you’ll regret being friends with that girl.”
While I didn’t share his sentiment, I understood his frustration. Just as I understood Lou’s. They each loved me in a different way, but they both wanted what was best for me.
“So? What did you think?” he asked. “Has he changed?”
Yes! But telling my husband all the wonderful ways in which he had changed probably wasn’t a good idea at this moment.
“It was weird at first, but nice. Like I got my friend back.”
I felt myself shift in the bed, waiting for that moment Adam would inevitably get upset. Surprisingly, he didn’t.
“He actually lives in Seattle now,” I added.
“Wow. I understand what you mean by feeling weird. I mean, you’re looking at a man who’s supposed to be dead, but he’s not.”
“Oh, it’s not like that. I was surprised, but happy for him. I was happy for me too because all these years, we never had a body to bury, and it was difficult to believe that he was actually gone. Now I know that I was right not to believe it.”
“Do you want to invite him over? Meet the kids?” he asked.
“Maybe. It really depends on how you feel about it. I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“Oh no, it’s fine.” He waved his hand as if Jackson was just another person who’d be visiting our family. Maybe he was right to think of him as such, and perhaps it was wrong for me to think of him as more.
“After Christmas, then?”
“Yeah, that’s fine. And speaking of, the Christmas holiday party is this weekend. We’re going, right?”
“Yes, Mom will stay with the kids.”
Adam reached over and turned his night lamp off, and then came closer, wrapping his arm around me. He held me all night that night, and I couldn’t quite remember the last time he had done that. It felt nice and odd at the same time, and it would be a while before I realized the true reason why.
Chapter 11
It wasn’t until a week before Christmas that I ran into Jackson again. This time, though, it wasn’t a coincidence. With the holidays right around the corner, it was a busy week, and Lou and I had both been helping the girls out, fitting in the walk-ins between other appointments. The salon bloomed with red and white poinsettias, and Christmas ornaments hung from the ceiling. A motion-sensor Santa stood in the corner of the room, singing Jingle Bells each time someone passed him. We were spreading the Christmas spirit with beauty and cheer.
Sue, one of the beauticians, knocked on the door to our waxing room, where I’d just finished a brow wax. “Alex, you have a new customer.”
What I really needed was a break, but if Sue asked for me personally, it also meant that the client had as well. Lou was probably working in one of the other rooms. My break would have to wait.
“I’ll be out in two minutes.”
I finished with the wax and washed my hands. As soon as I stepped out of the room, I saw Jackson sitting in the waiting area. A huge Christmas tree was set beside him. The tip reached all the way up to the ceiling. Although he was wearing one of the ugliest Christmas sweaters I’d ever seen, Jackson worked it like no one else could, which made him look even sexier. My mood was immediately lifted.
Breaking into a wide grin, I waved shyly before going over to say hello.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“I came with a delivery.” He pointed to the pine tree.
“That’s for us?”
“If you want it.”
“Yes, of course I do. I just need to find the time to decorate it.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t think that far ahead. Otherwise, I would have brought the decorations too.”
“Are you kidding? Don’t apologize. We’ll get it done. Thank you.”
“Ah, there’s the man I’ve been hearing so much about.” Lou jumped into Jackson’s arms, the way I wished I could. He spun her around as she hugged him tightly, and then set her down.
“It’s nice to see you again, Lou.”
“You have no idea. We missed you. Where have you been hiding all this time?”
I took a step closer and crossed my arms over my chest.
“You know exactly where, don’t you? Didn’t you speak to Jackson online for a few months, impersonating me?”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot that part.”
“Conveniently so.”
Lou grabbed Jackson’s arm and made her big doe eyes. “Jackson, you must get one of Alex’s famous pedicures,” she said, as she led him toward the leather massage seats.
I had a famous pedicure?
“And a manicure as well. She’s got the best hands ever, and judging from the size of your feet,” – she looked down, assessing his shoes as if this were something we did every day here – “you need good hands to take care of those.”
What was she doing?
“Thank you. I appreciate that, but my schedule…”
She leaned into him to whisper, “After sixteen years, your schedule should be completely open for her.”
I shook my head.
He stopped, his uncertain gaze darting from Lou to me. “Maybe a manicure then?”
“So, you’re going to keep those big feet all to yourself?” she asked.
I grabbed his arm and peeled him away from Lou. “Come on, Jackson, before she makes you think you need a wax.”
“If you do need a wax,” she added, parting her legs slightly and making a circular motion around her crotch, “especially in this area, Alex is the best.”
I swear, sometimes that girl had no shame. I nearly died of embarrassment as we made our way over to the manicure station. A couple of our female clients chuckled. Others still hadn’t been able to pull their gazes away from him, and I couldn’t blame them.
I sat across from Jackson, his long legs barely fitting underneath the table, his knees touching mine.
“You don’t have to do this, you know,” I said to him. “Lou likes to butt in more than she should.”
“It’s because she cares so much about you. Maybe I should thank her. If she hadn’t butted in, I’m not sure I would have had enough courage to come see you on my own.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you did.”
“Not as glad as I am.”
I set his hands into a small bowl of soapy water and let them soak while I removed the supplies from the UV sterilizer. While he soaked, I tried to calm myself with an internal pep talk. This was only Jackson. I’ve touched him before without thinking twice; I can do this again. We had plenty of male clients; but the problem was that none of them were him.
I reached for one of his hands and dried it with a towel before proceeding to trim his cuticles, which already appeared well taken care of. As I held his hand, it warmed in mine, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how it was his hand. Jackson, whom I’d loved so much when he was taken from me, was sitting on the other side of the table, watching me. I knew he was doing so, but I didn’t dare look him in the eye, I didn’t dare test if that connection I thought we had was still there. If I did, I was afraid I’d cut him; or worse, that he’d see how much it still hurt to have him back in my life, and so I concentrated on the task.
“You’re good at this,” he said.
“It’s my job.” I smiled, keeping my focus on his hand.
“I have a feeling I’m going to be coming here more often.”
Did he mean that? And what did he mean by that? Was it because of me or because of my manicure?
“You’re more than welcome to,” I replied, giving my words more meaning than I should have. My heart was beating so fast that my sight blurred. The room was beginning to spin, and so I shut my eyes. Jackson leaned in, whispering, “Alex? You need to breathe, baby.”
I finally looked up and followed his guided inhalations to calm my own.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Don’t be. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea for me to come here. I’m confusing you.” He pulled his hand away.
“Please don’t go.” My voice broke, and just as fast as he’d pulled away, Jackson placed his hand back into mine, begging with his eyes for me to continue. “I have to get used to this sooner or later, right? And maybe it’s better that it’s sooner because Adam invited you over for dinner, sometime after Christmas.”
“So you told him?” He stiffened in his seat.
“Yes. And my mother knows as well, so you don’t need to worry about scaring the living ghost out of her.”
“How did they react?” By they, I knew he was referring to Adam, whose amicable reaction to my news about Jackson confused me as well.
“Well, my mother apparently cried. Your mom told her. Then she hugged me and asked if I was okay.”
He mouthed “I’m sorry,” and I continued.
“It’s okay. I mean, it’d be weird for me not to be a little emotional and confused. My mother said to let time heal the wounds and pave new roads.”
“She’s a smart woman. Like her daughter. I must remember to get Bev a large bouquet of gerberas. I’ve really missed her.” He shook his head. Jackson and my father were the only two people my mother ever allowed to call her that. To everyone else, she was Beverly. My parents loved Jackson and accepted him as if he were their son long before he even proposed. And gerberas were my mother’s favorite, which of course he remembered.
He relaxed in his seat and let me finish trimming the cuticles. I moved onto filing his nails without further conversation. It seemed that the more he spoke, the more I wanted to hear his voice and the more I didn’t want this conversation to end. I was already dreading the moment he’d leave. This wasn’t enough time. I was afraid that no matter how much time I spent with him, it would never be enough.
“And your husband?” he asked curiously.
I finished the left hand and set it aside before taking his right one into mine. It was cooler than the other one, and I appreciated the change in temperature. Jackson’s hands were smooth. A few bumps from old calluses remained, and a scar ran on the inside of his right hand. I twined my fingers with his and rotated my wrist, loosening his joints. A low growl rumbled from his chest, and I smiled. It wasn’t unusual for customers to vocalize the pleasure of this small massage.
“Adam surprised me. He was actually nice about the fact that you’re alive.”
Too nice, in fact.
“Were you expecting him not to be?”
“Sort of. I guess I was wrong.”
Jackson leaned his head to the side and scrunched his brows as if he was about to question me, but instead, he asked, “Are you done with your Christmas shopping yet?”
“Yes. I managed to grab two hatchables last month before they sold out.”
He gave me a quizzical look.
“It’s a puppet animal that hatches from an egg, and you have to raise it, which means teaching it how to eat, speak, walk, and all that. They’re pretty cool, and they keep the kids busy.”
“You think my nephew would like one?”
“Are you kidding? This is the it toy of the year. I can’t believe you haven’t heard about them.”
“I’ve been a little pre-occupied lately.” He winked and I felt my cheeks heat, then cleared my throat.
“Ahm, I’m sure he’d love one, but you’ll never find one five days before Christmas. Better have a back-up plan if you’re going to leave gift buying for the last minute.”
“I guess it’s more shopping for me, then.”
“Your nephew, is that your brother’s son? I haven’t seen him in a while.”
“Yes, he’s five. Adorable.”
If he inherited only a drop of the gene pool Jackson swam in, then I was sure he was one of the cutest kids around. I took Jackson’s other hand into mine, laced my fingers with his, and twisted my wrist only to be rewarded with another deep grunt.
“How do your clients ever leave this place?” he asked with a half-smile, his eyes hooded and mellowing more by the minute.
“You should see what I can do with feet.” I laughed.
“Don’t tease me like that or I’ll book you in that back room for a whole day.”
Oh, my! I stopped the motion of my hand and our gazes connected. Hot energy sizzled between us, the way it always used to when we both had the naughty on our minds. I let go of his hand and cleared my throat again. The loss of contact helped, but only minimally. I pumped coconut cream into my palm and took his into mine again, this time pretending that they were just another man’s hands. I failed miserably. The cream slid between our skins and melted in the heat, his fingers between mine and mine between his, palm against hand and vice versa. It was one of the most erotic ways of spreading cream I’d ever seen. When I finally set his hands down, I looked up, and he shook his head.
“You have no idea what you do to me, do you?” he asked.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s unbelievable. It feels… nice.”
“So, what about a Christmas gift for Aidan?” I asked, changing the subject.
“I want to get him a graphic design tablet, but they’ve been out of stock for a while.”
