Only You (A Second Chance Romance), page 7
“You know how Lou gets. She’s my best friend, and she worries about me.”
“Well, then, maybe you should find a new friend.”
This was not the way I wanted this conversation to go, and it was definitely not a good time to mention that Jackson had returned to my life.
“Stop it. You know very well that’s not going to happen. And if you’re going the questioning route, why don’t I do so as well? Where were you two nights ago?”
“Work.”
“All night?”
“I fell asleep on the office couch.”
I called bull on that one, but once again, there was no way I could prove what he’d been doing. Worse yet, with whom.
“What was the meeting about?”
“New security features. There’ve been threats against the company. We just got a new CEO who’s getting the IT guys to update the company’s computer software against hacking. They’re installing new cameras around work and implementing new rules about customer engagement and assurance.”
“That actually sounds like a good thing for the company.”
“It is if you have time for all that crap. I’m the one who needs to update the staff on new procedures, write up new non-disclosure agreements, and provide security training. That’s a shitload of work for me.”
“You sound stressed.”
“Well, that’s because I am.” He reached for a tissue and wiped his nose, then showed me the red stain. “See?”
“How long has this been happening?” I asked.
“About three days.”
“Did you call your doctor?”
“I will.”
“Please, Adam. Maybe you’re working too much. You need to rest.”
“I know, I know.”
Looking at my husband, so vulnerable at this moment, tightened my chest.
“Would you like to go out?” I asked.
“What?”
“Go out to dinner this weekend. Just the two of us. Relax away from our busy lives, together.”
Confusion flashed across his face, but then he smiled. I haven’t seen my husband smile in a long time.
“Yeah, I think that’s a great idea.”
“All right. I’ll make a reservation, then. Dinner should be ready in half an hour.”
He shot off his chair and followed me to the kitchen. When Adam began to unpack the dishwasher along with me, I paused. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d done something together, even something as simple as cleaning the house or folding the laundry, and this moment, right now, felt… nice. Maybe our dinner date was more important than I realized. This moment felt so right that once again, I didn’t have the heart to bring up Jackson and possibly ruin Adam’s suddenly uplifted mood.
Feeling a little better that evening, I took a shower, shaved my legs with extra diligence, and decided to slip into a negligee that had caught Adam’s eye in the past. The kids were already asleep. I checked on them, kissed them on their heads, and turned off the night lamps. Downstairs, Adam was sitting on the family room couch, flipping through the channels while sipping on a fresh drink. I frowned at the sight of the glass in his hand, but let it go.
It’s Friday night, I thought.
He was tired from work, and maybe a drink or two was a good idea. I sauntered past him, right in front of the television set, and leaned forward, toward the wine rack. I felt the negligee lift against the back of my legs and gently swoosh over my backside, along with a cool breeze. I smiled to myself, hoping the view would attract Adam’s attention. When I turned around to check if he’d seen me, he was still glued to the television set.
I stood back up, poured myself a glass of wine, walked past his line of sight again, and then took a seat on the armchair at his side.
Not even a glance.
I lifted one leg over the other, exposing the side of my thigh, and cleared my throat. He finally looked at me, asking, “Is the wine not good?”
“No, the wine is fine.”
“You have a sore throat?”
“No, just took a sip the wrong way.”
I shifted my seat and leaned over, exposing my cleavage.
“Are you watching anything?”
“Ahm, yeah. I guess I was. I should head to bed, though.”
“You’re going to bed now? It’s Friday night. I thought we could maybe watch a movie.” That was definitely not on my mind, but I wanted to make conversation. I needed his time. Today, I needed some sort of affirmation from my husband that our marriage was working and that not all was lost.
“Or just talk… in bed,” I added.
“It’s been a long day, Alex.”
Adam set down his empty glass, lowered the remote to the table, and stood up. He was heading for the staircase, leaving me on my own. Frustrated, but not ready to give up, I turned off the television and put the empty glass he’d left in the dishwasher, then tiptoed upstairs. Adam was in the shower. Nearly tripping over my own feet, I hurried to our bedroom, propped a pillow against the headboard and picked up my e-reader. I didn’t even bother turning it on because I heard the shower go off.
Moonlight filtered through the window, lighting the room. I straightened my back, then slouched a little to not be too obvious, and focused my gaze on the Kindle in my hands. In the shadow of Adam’s night lamp, I pretended to read. He walked into our bedroom, and I felt him stop at the entrance. I slowly looked up. Was this it? Would my husband finally take the hint that tonight, I had more than sleeping on my mind?
“Why are you on my side of the bed?” he asked.
Because I needed a reason to move so you’d notice me.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I think my lightbulb went out.” I pointed to the other side of the bed.
He walked over and flicked the switch.
Nothing.
He removed the bulb, shook it gently, and then screwed it back in place before checking behind the night table.
“It’s unplugged from the wall.”
“Oh, silly me. I guess I forgot to plug it back in after charging my e-reader. Come to think of it, I need to get one of those multi-outlets.”
“Yeah, you should.”
Now that my lamp was turned on again, I scooted over to my side of the bed, flashing a piece of my ass in the process.
Nothing.
Adam pulled the covers away, slid underneath them, and turned on his side, away from me. He flicked off the switch to his night-lamp.
“Adam?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you remember the last time you had sex?”
“Yes,” he said.
“Good, because I need you to remind me.”
He paused, thinking for longer than it should have taken him to answer the question. My mind went spinning, because if he didn’t remember the last time we had sex, the way I didn’t, then why would he have answered yes?
“Last week, before you left for Florida.”
“No, I’m pretty sure I would have remembered a week ago.”
He then turned on his side toward me. For a split second, illuminated in our moonlit room, I saw that spark of youth in his eyes, the same one I’d fallen in love with years ago. And just as fast, it was gone.
“You were wearing your white negligee,” he said. “And I took you from behind.”
I grabbed the pillow underneath my arm and threw it at him, hitting him square in the face. “That was a month ago, Adam.”
“Couldn’t have been.”
“Yes, it was. The evening after Lou’s birthday. I remember because you had one too many at her party.”
“Are you going to start counting my drinks again?” he asked.
“No, that’s not why I mentioned it.”
He paused and fixed his gaze on my cleavage. “You look different.”
“Different how?”
“Happier. Like you’ve blossomed.”
“Well, I am happy.”
“Good. The kids missed you.”
“And you?”
“I missed you too.”
If he had, then he was definitely not showing it. Still, I waited patiently for his next move. When he didn’t budge, I leaned in and swept my hand over his naked chest. It felt odd. It felt like my hand didn’t belong there. As if reading my mind, he removed my hand, saying, “I’m tired.”
And I need you.
I needed to be reminded of our love. I needed him to confirm that what we had ten years ago was still there. I sought confirmation of us and a reason to be together, one I would not have needed if it were Jackson sitting next to me.
“Good night.” He pulled the cover up to his chin.
“Good night.”
Adam didn’t turn around again. He didn’t kiss me or touch me. At this point, I wasn’t sure he’d even notice if I slept elsewhere. That was how, on my first night back home, the first sliver of doubt in my marriage began turning my life upside-down.
Chapter 9
Saturday night, I slipped on the little black dress Lou had originally packed for my trip to Florida and then curled my hair. Blush-pink lip gloss shone on my lips, and I added a dash of extra powder to my cheeks. By the time I was done pulling the thick black pencil over my eyelids, I could barely recognize myself.
Not bad.
As I swept my hands over the tight fabric hugging my hips, I remembered how Jackson had mentioned this dress in Florida. Part of me wished it would be him I was meeting tonight. I missed him. It had only been two days since my return home, but it felt like centuries since I’d seen him.
I shook the thought out of my mind. If tonight went well, I could confidently tell Adam about Jackson’s return. Maybe that would ease the tension in my shoulders I’d been feeling for the past few days. Tonight, I was looking forward to catching up with my husband and lighting that low-burning flame of our relationship into an inferno. It had been too long.
The recent policy changes at work forced Adam to stay at the office another weekend, and so we decided to meet at the restaurant. I adjusted my push-up bra and slipped into the black heels that lifted my height by six inches. They were Adam’s favorite. I quickly said goodbye to the kids and left them with my mom, who’d volunteered to stay the night. She said they were going to watch Finding Dory — again.
Twenty minutes later, Lou dropped me off at the restaurant. I glanced at my watch
Five minutes early. Perfect.
I sat at the bar and ordered a martini. Feeling optimistic about the evening, I crossed my leg, and what felt like moments later, checked the time again. It was five after.
That’s okay. Maybe there’s traffic.
The sound of the room shifted as someone opened the front door. I turned around, hoping Adam would walk through that time. I secretly imagined an invisible connection between us, one which would draw me toward the entrance as he crossed the threshold. But he wasn’t there. My chest deflated. He didn’t show up half an hour later, either. As my mood began to shift from excitement to hurt, the intimate restaurant I had chosen for this date, one that was supposed to revive my marriage and confirm that the vows I’d taken over ten years ago weren’t empty, was becoming stale.
I raised my hand for another drink when I suddenly felt someone’s presence behind me. The thought that it was my husband didn’t even cross my mind.
“Can I join you?”
That voice nearly stopped my heart. I turned around to see Jackson. Completely seamless, his tailored charcoal suit showcased his wide shoulders. The white shirt he’d worn over that lean torso I had imprinted in my mind ever since he hovered above me outside the sauna complimented his fresh tan. He took my breath away.
Absolutely flawless.
What were the chances? Out of all the restaurants in Seattle, the probability of us running into each other here must have been slim. I didn’t even dare to think that fate had anything to do with it. Yet here he was, looking at me with those hungry eyes in a way that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand.
“What are you doing here? I didn’t think you were coming to Seattle until later.” I stood up for his offered warm embrace. My arms naturally wound around him, and for longer than appropriate. I didn’t want to let go until I had to.
“Let’s just say that I couldn’t wait to get back. I have a business meeting here. She’s running late.”
She?
“To be honest with you, now that you’re here, I wish I could cancel.”
So did I.
“Do you have time for a drink?” I asked, pointing to the seat next to mine. “Adam’s late. We were supposed to be having a date.”
Shoot! I wished I’d bitten my tongue and said that he was meeting me here for dinner, not a date. His brow rose amusingly, and I tried to remember what that meant. I wished I could read him better, the way I used to, yet that little new mystery intrigued me. He’d never done that when we were young.
“I’ll always have time for you, Alex. What are you drinking?”
He took his seat next to me. That is, right after he moved the bar stool a little closer so that his thigh touched mine. He wasn’t even hiding the fact that he wanted to do so. Somehow I found that hot. It had been a while since I’d flirted with anyone, or even contemplated making a move on a first date, but if I did, I was pretty sure that this move would be one of them. Was he making a move? And why did I want him to?
“Martini,” I replied.
I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. If somebody had told me a week ago that I’d be looking into Jackson’s gorgeous eyes again, I would have called their bluff.
“Another one for the lady, please. I’ll have a glass of water with lemon.”
“You’re not going to have a drink?”
“I’m driving.”
He quickly swept his finger over his phone, typed a few words, turned it off, and then put it away inside his suit jacket.
“Does it seem like I’m always the one drinking?” I asked.
“No. Why? You were always responsible. I’d never think you didn’t know your limits.”
“I guess I’m just very self-conscious around you. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“Alex, I’m still the same man I was sixteen years ago.”
Looking at his body, a body which made mine hot, I was willing to bet that underneath all those clothes, he had changed more than a little. A quick thought of running my fingers through his thicker chest hair burned in the back of my mind.
“Just as I am the same woman?” I asked. I shouldn’t have. This conversation had barely started, and I was already entering dangerous territory. Jackson scanned me. The right side of his mouth curved up first, in that irresistibly sexy way, before lifting his full lips into a smile. A very hungry smile.
“I see what you mean about the change. Time has done you well, Alex. Very, very well. You look absolutely stunning.”
And that, ladies and gentleman, was how you got a woman to heat from her toes all the way up to her head. What was happening to me? After so many years, how was this possible? Why was this feeling in my chest so strong, full of emotions I didn’t understand, pulling me toward him? It was because I’d thought he was dead all these years, and now, my best friend was back. Though he felt like so much more than a best friend, and that scared me. I was married…
Adam!
“Excuse me. I just have to check my phone.”
It was forty minutes past now. I quickly texted him, asking how late he was running, and set the phone aside. A new, full-to-the-rim martini glass stood beside me. Thank God Jackson knew that I needed another drink. There was no message from Adam. Somewhat trying to camouflage disappointment in my eyes, I took a sip before resuming eye contact. More so, I wanted to hide the embarrassment that my husband was late for a date. Especially in front of Jackson, who was always on time.
“Everything all right?”
“Yeah, he’s just working a little late.”
“On a Saturday?”
“Yes. A new CEO just joined the firm, and there are all these policy changes he needs to work through.”
“You said he works for Mercedes, right?”
“He’s in human resources at the Seattle headquarters.”
Jackson nodded gently before sipping on his water. An important thought must have passed through his mind because his right temple twitched.
“Have you told him about me?” he asked.
I slid the olive off its skewer into my mouth. Part of me was happy that I’d kept Jackson a secret all to myself, but truthfully, the timing had been off whenever I’d wanted to tell Adam.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Alex,” he said, before I replied.
“No, I do want to. You’re back. You need to be in my life. I need you to be in my life.” What scared me was how true that was; also, just the pure strength of that emotion and just how much I needed him. “I just haven’t had a chance to tell Adam yet.”
“Do you think he’ll feel the same way about my return as you?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. I hope so, but I really don’t know.”
“Well, as a man, I can tell you that he won’t.”
“Why?”
“It’s simple. Because you’re his.”
His. That didn’t sound right. It didn’t feel right, either, because deep in my heart I’d never felt like anyone’s. Except for Jackson. Yes, I definitely used to feel like his.
“Have you told your mom? It would be a little scary for her to bump into me somewhere on the street.”
Given how we’d both ended up at this restaurant, the possibility was more real than I would have thought earlier in the day.
“I haven’t done that either, but I will. I’ve sort of been keeping you a secret.”
“A secret? Are you planning an affair with me, Alex?”
“No,” I replied with haste, opening my eyes wide. A single shot of energy flew through me, along with the feeling of wonder about how an affair with Jackson would feel. Never in my life had I thought that I’d be unfaithful in my marriage. Yet here I was, thinking about the possibility, wondering what it would be like to feel him envelop me into his body and take me into his world, into his bed.
