Love, Again, page 5
Eyes burning, I stopped and turned away from the festival to catch my breath. I had to pull myself together. It was as if everything I’d kept buried deep inside decided to explode all at one time. There were people parking their cars on the field as I continued walking down to the festival. Red-and-white-striped tents were everywhere with all sorts of carnival games. There was the ring toss to see if you could get it around the neck of a bottle, another game where you had to throw a softball into a tilted basket. I never won at that game, no matter how gently I threw the ball. Then there was the ping-pong game where you had to get the ball into one of the tiny jars. If you did, you’d win a live goldfish. Every year I’d go home with at least three.
There were other booths with blankets and homemade jams for sale. My mother used to sell out of her strawberry preserves every year. The memories kept coming and I realized it was becoming too much for me. Turning on my heel, I started toward the exit just as a little girl jumped in my way. Her long blond braid hung off to the side, and she smiled, dressed in a Girl Scout uniform.
“Hi. Would you like to buy a box of cookies?”
A Girl Scout booth was up ahead with a long line of people. I knelt down to her and smiled back. “I’d love to. What’s your name?”
Her grin widened. “Macy.”
“All right, Macy. Lead the way, and I’ll buy a couple of boxes.”
I stood, and walking up right behind her was another blast from the past. My old friend Heather shook her head and smiled. “If it isn’t the famous Aubrey Reynolds.”
“Heather,” I called out, opening my arms. “I was hoping to see you.” She hugged me hard, and we both laughed. “I saw your mother earlier at the café.”
“I know. She told me you stopped by.” She let me go, but grabbed my hands. It felt as if no time had passed between us. She looked the same with her blond hair and smooth skin. If anything, she was more beautiful than she was in high school.
“You look amazing,” I said.
She let my hands go and waved me off. “Oh, whatever.” She knelt down to the little girl and wrapped her arms around her. “This is my daughter, Macy.”
Macy nodded excitedly, and I giggled. “I can see that now. You two look just alike.”
Heather kissed Macy’s cheek. “Macy, this is one of my friends from school. Her name’s Aubrey. She’s the famous one I was telling you about.”
Macy snickered, and I shook her little hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Macy.”
“It’s nice to meet you too. I heard my Gammy talking about you earlier. She said you make movies.”
I bent down to her level. “I do. It’s kind of fun.”
Heather squeezed her again. “Why don’t you go join the others and we’ll be right there.”
Macy took off, and Heather watched her go. “That little girl looks so much like me, but she acts just like her father. It’s scary.”
I burst out laughing. “She looks like a good kid.”
Heather looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “You haven’t met my husband yet.”
We both laughed, and all I could do was stare at her. “It’s been too long, Heather. I hate that we lost track of each other.”
She shrugged. “It’s okay. We both went down different paths, and we grew apart. I’ve been keeping up with you though. I had Macy seek you out to see what you’d say about the cookies. I was curious to see if you’ve turned into a Hollywood diva.”
“So that was planned?” I asked, resting my hands on my hips. “Did you think I was going to tell her to go away?”
Sheepishly, she bit her lip. “I had hoped not, but she was excited to see what you’d say as well. You don’t have to buy any of the cookies.”
I held up my hands. “I told her I would, and I am. I love the coconut ones.”
She hugged me again, and it felt great to be welcomed with open arms. “It’s really good to see you, Aubrey. I’m glad being a famous movie director hasn’t changed you.”
“It has,” I said, letting her go. “But not in the way you think. I never let it get to my head. All I ever wanted was to see my work on the big screen.”
She nodded. “And you’ve done that. I love watching your movies.”
“Thanks. That means a lot.” Hearing that from an old friend truly warmed my heart. It also made me think that coming home might have been just what I needed.
Her smile widened, and she linked her arm with mine. “Come on, let’s go for a walk. I’ll fill you in on everything that happened after you left.” My heart sank, but I went along with her. I was dreading hearing about the one guy I wanted to see, knowing he probably was married or dating someone steady. We slowly walked past the booths while she told me about all the people we used to hang out with in high school. Everyone had pretty much gotten married and started families. However, one of our old friends, Cliff Mayfield, had died in a car accident a few years back. The news saddened me. I told her the story about what happened to me about the blood test, and how I was on an adventure to live life to its fullest.
What surprised me was that Heather hadn’t said a word about Cole throughout all of our conversation. I figured he would’ve been the first on her list. We started getting closer to the Ferris wheel, and the sadness grew worse. Stopping midstep, I turned away from it.
“What about Cole?” I blurted out. “You haven’t said a single word about him. Is he okay?”
Her lips slowly grew into a sly smile. “It’s about time you mentioned him. I had a feeling you might want to know what he’s been up to.”
“Is he still in Dusty Valley?” I asked.
Grabbing my shoulders, she turned me around. “Why don’t you see for yourself?”
Then everything around me stopped. The music and laughter muted in my ears, and all I could hear was my erratic heartbeat. There was a group of men, sitting around a row of picnic tables behind the Ferris wheel, all wearing their firemen shirts. A lot of the guys I knew from school. But then…there he was. Laughing and talking with the guys, always the center of attention. Everyone loved him and looked up to him. His light brown hair had that sexy out-of-bed mess to it that all the women loved, and his face had the signs of a five o’clock shadow. My heart skipped a few beats, and I grew light-headed. Even now, he still had that effect on me.
“I need to go before he sees me.”
Turning on my heel, I hurried away as fast as I could. Heather ran after me and grabbed my wrist, her eyes full of concern. “Hey, it’s okay. I didn’t realize you were going to take it so hard.”
If she only knew how much I regretted leaving him in the first place. None of my accomplishments in life could hold a candle to the way Cole made me feel when we were together. And seeing him again just confirmed that.
I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him again. It hurt too much. “I thought I was ready to see him, but I’m not.”
She nodded. “Okay, we’ll go.” She took my arm and we walked away, while I tried my best not to cry. There were so many things I wanted to know about him.
“How’s his brother?” I asked.
Heather fanned herself. “Sexy as all get out. Don’t tell my husband I said that.” She glanced over at me and smiled. “Bennett’s been working at the Haywood farm. Their wheat production has been off the charts. He and Cole will be taking over the family business once their father decides to retire. Until then, Cole is assistant chief at the fire station. I’m surprised Bennett wasn’t with the guys. I don’t know where he’s at tonight.”
We were almost to her daughter’s Girl Scout booth when Bennett’s whereabouts became known. There he was, talking to Macy with the biggest smile on his face. He’d changed over the years. His auburn hair had darkened, and his muscles had filled out like Cole’s. The Haywood men were notorious for their good looks. Bennett looked like his mother, while Cole was the spitting image of his father. Frozen in place, all I could do was stare at him. There was no hiding now, especially when Macy looked over and waved at us.
Bennett’s smile stayed in place as he glanced over, but when he got a good look at me, his eyes narrowed. When he realized who I was, his smile faded. My heart sank, and I really wanted to run away, but my body wouldn’t move.
Heather squeezed my arm. “It’ll be okay. You know Bennett’s a little easier going than Cole.”
It was true. Bennett was the playful jokester between him and Cole. Cole was the charming one, but he was definitely more serious. Bennett slowly walked up to us, his gaze darting between mine and Heather’s. She stepped forward and laughed nervously when Bennett stopped in front of her. He was a head taller than both of us, so I had to look up at him.
“Hi, Bennett,” she said, patting his arm. He glanced down at her quickly, but then turned those Haywood gray eyes to mine. I didn’t like what I saw. There was anger, pain, but also curiosity.
Clearing her throat, Heather met my gaze. “I think I’m going to leave you two alone.” Then she patted Bennett’s arm again. “See you later, Ben.” She hurried off and mouthed the words good luck to me behind his back.
Heart racing, I swallowed hard. “It’s good to see you, Bennett,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Does Cole know you’re here?”
I shook my head. “I saw him though. He looks happy.”
Bennett scoffed. “No thanks to you.”
Tears sprang into my eyes as I sucked in a breath and averted my gaze from his accusatory stare. Bennett was never the type to be hateful, which meant what I’d done was unforgivable.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, tears falling down my cheeks. “I never wanted to hurt him. I’ve regretted it ever since.” The pain in my chest was too much to bear. I looked up at Bennett one last time. “I didn’t come here to cause problems. I just wanted to make amends and set things right. But it’s looking like I burned that bridge a long time ago. It’s probably best I leave.”
I quickly walked past him, my lungs constricting more and more with each breath. Heather frowned as I met her gaze in passing, but I couldn’t stay there a moment longer. I was almost to the exit when Bennett shouted my name from behind and grabbed my arm. He circled around in front of me and let me go.
“Dammit, Aubrey. You know I hate it when a woman cries.”
His eyes softened when I looked up at him. He was a comforter just like Cole. There were plenty of girls in high school who would cry on his shoulder. It didn’t matter if it was over a heartbreak, or their dog dying. Bennett was always there, and the girls swooned over him for it. Cole would’ve been the same way if he wasn’t mine. He was off-limits back then.
A sad smile spread across my face. “If I remember correctly, you used to love it in high school.”
It was his turn to smile. “Yeah, okay, maybe you’re right, but you’re a different story. I’m sorry I snapped at you back there.”
I waved him off. “No, you had every right to. I can’t imagine what must be going through your head right now.”
He chuckled, but there was no humor in it. “A shit ton of things, actually. For starters, what are you doing here after all these years? Why now?”
“It’s a crazy story,” I said.
“Well, it’s a good thing I have time. Where are you staying?”
I pointed at the bed-and-breakfast in the distance. “Lavender Hills. I walked here.”
He nodded toward the exit. “I’ll drive you back. You can tell me everything.”
As we walked to his truck, I felt sick to my stomach. I was about to tell him my darkest inner secrets about why I left, and why I chose to come back. I just hoped he understood the reasons. If he didn’t, there was no way in hell Cole would.
* * *
—
The first thing I asked Bennett about Cole was if he was married. Relief flooded through me when I got the answer that he wasn’t. I told Bennett everything. I started from the beginning when my mother made me promise to get out of Dusty Valley to make something of myself, on to the diagnosis the doctor gave me, and how it drove me to seek Cole’s forgiveness. However, it wasn’t just Cole’s forgiveness I needed. I’d left everyone. After explaining my reasons for leaving, it all sounded so selfish even if it wasn’t meant to be. I didn’t want Cole giving up his life to follow me to Hollywood.
Bennett sat across from me, his eyes never wavering from mine as I finished talking. We were outside at the inn’s patio table, the music and laughter from the festival echoing in the distance. Bennett blew out a breath and shook his head. “You still should’ve come back earlier, Aubrey. Ten years was a little too long.”
I hung my head. “I know. The longer I stayed away, the more hopeless it felt to even consider a reconciliation.”
“He would’ve followed you, you know. Cole was devastated after you left. He thought you didn’t want him, that he wouldn’t belong in your new world.”
Hearing it tore my heart in two. Lifting my head, I met his gaze. “Oh my God, Bennett. That’s not it at all. I wanted to share everything with him, but I didn’t want to be selfish. If we’d gotten married, I don’t know if I would’ve ever followed my dream. And if I did, deep down I knew he’d leave all of this behind to be with me even if it made him miserable. I couldn’t do that to him.”
Bennett shook his head. “You never gave him a chance.”
“I know,” I cried, feeling my throat close up. “After thinking I was about to die, I started on this journey across the country. Even if Cole tells me to go to hell, I at least want to explain everything to him. He deserves to know the truth.”
Bennett stood and held out his hand. “You’re right. He does. And you’re going to tell him tonight.”
I refused to take his hand. “What? No. Have you lost your mind? I just got into town.”
“All the more reason for you to see him. You’ll just keep torturing yourself until you do. Now get your ass up and let’s go. I know where he’ll be.” He extended his hand closer. “Come on, Bree. You can do this. I for one want to see my brother get closure.” Bree was the nickname he and Cole had given me when we were kids. It felt like old times hearing him say it.
I took his hand and he helped me up from the table. I followed him to his truck, my legs feeling like jelly the closer we got to it. I stopped at the passenger-side door and looked over at him through the open windows. He opened his door and stared back.
“You can do this,” he said.
“With everything I told you tonight, is there a chance you could forgive me? Just because I left doesn’t mean I didn’t forget any of you, or stop loving you for that matter. You were always like a brother to me.”
There was a hint of sadness on his face. “I forgive you, Bree. As much as I hate the reasons why you left, it doesn’t mean I don’t understand where you were coming from. Cole, however, isn’t as forgiving as I am.”
I opened the door and slid in. “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”
Chapter 8
Aubrey
We pulled up to Tornado Alley bar, and Cole’s truck was there along with a dozen others. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked, glancing around at all the cars. “There’s a lot of people here.”
Bennett parked his truck and pulled out the key. “Yep. A lot of our high school buddies will be in there. They’ll be excited to see the famous movie director, Aubrey Reynolds.” He winked, and it gave me hope. If I could get him on my side, I had to believe I could convince Cole too. He reached over and opened my door. “If you don’t want to go in there with everyone, I’ll bring him out.”
Hands shaking, I nodded as my whole body started to tremble with nerves. “That sounds better. I don’t want to go in there just yet.”
Bennett sighed. “All right. I’ll bring him out.”
He got out of the truck and disappeared inside. Slowly, I exited the truck and walked toward the steps. My legs felt so heavy I doubted I could even climb up them. This was it. It was the moment I’d been dreading, yet looking forward to. I’d dreamed about the time I’d see Cole again, face to face. I already knew it wouldn’t be an easy meeting, especially considering how Bennett’s first encounter with me was.
Everything moved in slow motion as I waited for Cole to come outside. I stood at the bottom of the steps, feeling more vulnerable with each passing second. What if he saw me and then turned right back around? Getting him to hear me out wasn’t going to be easy.
“Oh my God, I can’t do this.” Heart racing out of control, I dashed to the side of the building. I peeked my head around the corner just as the door opened and Cole stepped out. I flattened myself against the wall so he couldn’t see me, and I was almost certain he’d hear me hyperventilating.
“What exactly did you want me to see?” Cole asked, laughing at Bennett. It was clear he’d had a couple of drinks already. “There’s nothing out here.” Hearing his voice brought up all sorts of emotions inside me. I’d missed him so much.
Bennett huffed, most likely thinking I ran off. “Never mind, brother. My mistake.”
Cole chuckled. “Come on, I’ll buy you a drink.”
I jumped out from beside the building, and Bennett stopped. “Wait,” I called out. Cole had his back to me, but he froze and turned around slowly. The second our eyes locked, nothing else existed. It was what I’d secretly hoped for. He might hate me, but there was no denying the bond we had. I felt the spark between us even now.
Bennett placed a hand on Cole’s shoulder. “She’s here to see you,” he said, voice low.
Cole turned his angry glare to his brother. “You knew she was here?”
Bennett glanced down at me. “I saw her at the fair with Heather.” He focused on Cole and patted his shoulder. “You need to talk to her.”
