Love, Again, page 2
Brad knelt down beside us and gently clutched my chin, narrowing his gaze as he looked into my eyes. “She’s probably in shock.” With a heavy sigh, he bowed his head. “I still can’t believe this happened; she’ll never forgive me.”
Emilia punched him in the arm, and he fell back on his ass. “You’re damn right, she won’t. You need to fire that stupid nurse of yours.”
I had no idea what was going on. Licking my dry lips, I finally moved my body. My feet were numb and tingly, and so were my legs. Emilia gasped and tapped my cheeks. “Hey, Aubrey, snap out of it.”
I glared right at her and opened my mouth. My voice was raspy and rough. “Easy for you to say.”
A smile lit up her face, and she threw her arms around my neck. “You’re back. When you didn’t answer the phone, I didn’t know what to expect. I knew you weren’t the type to hurt yourself.” She squeezed me so hard my neck cracked.
“You’re the one who’s going to kill me if you don’t let go,” I said.
She released me and sat down on the floor, her eyes full of tears. That was why her makeup was so messed up. “Sorry. I was just so worried about you. When Brad told me about what had happened, I had to get to you straight away. There’s been a mistake.”
My attention snapped over to Brad. He looked horrible, his face all flushed and pale. Even his usual perfectly coiffed blond hair looked ragged, along with his disheveled tie. Grabbing my hands, he pulled me up to my feet. I wobbled for a second, but he and Emilia steadied me.
I glanced at them both. “What do you mean there’s been a mistake?”
Brad kept hold of my hands and sighed. “Right after you hung up on me, the nurse who gave me the test results burst into my office. She’d given me the wrong results.”
A spark of hope ignited in my chest. “What?”
He slid his hands up to my face, his eyes full of anguish. “I am so sorry, Aubrey. I’ve never had this kind of thing happen before. She’d accidentally filed another patient’s results in your folder, so I was reading you the wrong results. I totally understand if you don’t want me to be your doctor anymore. We’ve got a new system in the office that we’re all getting used to, which in by means is an excuse, as this never should have happened. Again, I’m so terribly sorry.”
He slowly let my face go, and Emilia grabbed my hands. “You don’t have multiple myeloma, Aubrey. You’re perfectly healthy. It was all a mistake. Your test got mixed up with someone else’s.”
I thought it would make me happy to hear that I wasn’t terminally ill. Don’t get me wrong, I was, but in just those couple of hours of thinking the worst, my life had changed. I didn’t feel the same. What could’ve affected me in a way I couldn’t even imagine was going to change my life forever. One thing was for certain: my life was going to be different from this day forward. Though now what was bothering me was that someone else was about to find out they had myeloma. That is, if they didn’t already know.
Relief washed through me, and I was able to take a full breath. Letting Emilia’s hands go, I walked over to the windows that overlooked the ocean. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you forgive me,” Brad said, his voice quiet. “I don’t know how I’m ever going to make it up to you. We have so many fail-safe protocols for this kind of thing not to happen. It was a devastating fluke, and one that is surely not going to happen again. The practice’s medical board is having an emergency meeting this afternoon to put additional safety procedures in place.”
I wasn’t mad at him. Maybe I was a bit upset at myself that it took a misdiagnosis for me to have more clarity about my life. Turning around, I faced him. “It’s okay, Brad. Mistakes happen. I’m glad the medical board is going to do something about it. I’d hate for someone else to go through what I did, especially if they’re unstable. They might’ve decided to take things into their own hands instead.”
Brad’s face paled and he nodded. “I know. I’d never be able to forgive myself if anything like that happened to one of my patients.”
Emilia approached me cautiously. “So you’ve been here this whole time, sitting on the floor?”
I nodded. “The news paralyzed me. I felt lost and confused.” Closing my eyes, I squeezed them hard, hoping to keep the tears at bay. “And worse…I felt alone.”
“Oh, Aubrey.” Emilia hugged me tight. “You know you’re not alone. I’m your best friend. I’m always here for you. I wouldn’t have left the house looking like a zombie if I didn’t love you.”
That was for damn sure. Emilia always brought a smile to my face. “I know. This whole thing made me think about my parents, and how much I miss them. And reminded me that I’ve no one else. You’re pretty much the only family I have left.” Actually, there was one more person I was thinking about, have never forgotten, really.
Sniffling, she let me go, and Brad joined us. “You have me as well, and our family,” he added, nodding over at Emilia.
Tears fell down my cheeks. “Thanks. That means a lot.”
“What are you going to do now?” Emilia asked. “I take it you didn’t go to the meeting.”
I shook my head. Now that I had time to think about it, I didn’t even care about the meeting, the next film, my career…It was as if everything became clear. Grinning wide, I grabbed my phone off the floor, and noticing the battery had died, plugged it into the charger. I had a ton of phone calls to make. “I didn’t,” I replied. “But you know what? There’s something else I want to do more.”
Chapter 3
Aubrey
“A bucket list, huh? I know it’s horrible what happened to you this morning, but right now, I’m completely jealous.” Emilia sat on my bed and helped put my clothes into my suitcase as I tossed them to her. Brad had already left to go back to his office. I’m not sure he was recovering from the misdiagnosis as well as I was—for me it was a life-changing event. And one I didn’t realize I needed.
I peeked my head around the closet door. “You could always come with me.”
Lips pursed, she looked at me and snorted. “I wish, but I’m waiting on an important phone call to tell me I got the movie role. Now that you backed out of being the director, the cards aren’t exactly in my favor.”
“You’ll get it. I have faith in you.” I tossed her a pair of pants, and she put them in my suitcase.
She smiled. “Thanks. I really like that part. I’m hoping I get it.”
It was a hard call to make backing out of the movie deal, but I didn’t regret it a single bit. In fact, seeing the passion in Emilia’s eyes about the role she was up for and her anxiety over getting it made me realize all the more it was time to move on. That was then, and now I was going on an adventure. To live life to the fullest, and travel around the world among the other hundreds of things I wanted to accomplish. I had yet to figure out all I wanted to do, but there was plenty of time for that.
Emilia slid off the bed and grabbed my notebook off my bedside table. It was the one I used to write down all of my director’s notes. She hopped back onto the bed and opened it. “You need a game plan, Aubrey. Let’s get this bucket list started. Depending on if I get the role or not, I might be able to join you on some of these adventures.”
I hopped onto the bed next to her. “That would be amazing. If there’s anything I learned from this morning, it’s to not waste time. I don’t want to miss out on anything anymore.”
Emilia’s expression became so serious as she met my gaze. “Do you really believe that you’ve missed out on life? You’ve accomplished so much.”
There was a whole other part of me that she didn’t know. She knew about me losing my parents, but everything else I’d kept to myself. Em didn’t even know that I was a dental assistant about to get married a month before I packed up and moved to California. It was a part of my life that I regretted more than anything, and I wasn’t about to dredge it all back up now.
“I have accomplished everything I’ve always wanted. Being a successful movie director was all I thought I wanted. My mom used to tell me that if I believed in myself, I could make anything happen. I’d give all I had for her to be able to see what I’ve done.”
Emilia squeezed my hand. “Believe me, she knows. I’m sure your parents have looked down on you from time to time. They’d be proud.”
If only that were true. “I hope so,” I murmured.
She winked. “All right, let’s get this list started. You’ve already slayed your dream, so we don’t have to worry about writing that down.” Opening the notebook, she turned to a clean page, and wrote Aubrey’s Bucket List on the top line. “What all do you want to do?”
Excitement bubbled in my chest. The list was endless. “Let’s see,” I began. “I’ve always wanted to visit Banff National Park up in Canada. It’s mid-August so it’s the perfect time to go up there and do some hiking.”
Emilia nodded and scribbled it down on my list. “Great. I’m writing it down. Where else do you want to go?”
“I want to go to Turks and Caicos to snorkel, Pike Place Market in Seattle, and the Minnesota State Fair to get Sweet Martha’s chocolate chip cookies.”
Emilia burst out laughing. “You and those cookies. You’ve been talking about them for years.”
“Exactly. There was no reason to put it off. I’m not doing that ever again. If I want to do something, I’m going to do it—life is too short.”
She looked over at me as if she’d never seen me before. “I like this side of you. It’s as if you’re a completely different person.”
“A brush with death will do that to you,” I said with a slight laugh, even though there was no humor to it. Emilia was right though, my life had become a fine-tuned machine. One that even the most type-A overachiever would be jealous of. Now my life is going to be about living. I pointed to the list. “I want to visit Grand Teton National Park, and learn how to speak with an Australian accent.”
Snickering, she shook her head and wrote it down. “You’re too much.”
“I also want to learn how to play golf, dance in the rain, make a difference in someone’s life, and maybe even possibly fall in love with someone.” Sadly, with the hours I had been working none of this had even been possible. Wistfully, my mind wandered, remembering that I had fallen in love with someone once—
“Now that I’m all for. You’ve barely dated.” She set the pen down and looked over at me. “Out of all the years I’ve known you, you’ve only gone on like five dates.”
Shrugging, I hopped off the bed and disappeared into my bathroom to get my toiletries together. That way she couldn’t see the truth on my face. “I just haven’t found anyone I click with. A lot of the men around here are arrogant jackasses.” They weren’t like the men from my hometown, where they were hardworking, strong, and respectful. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn’t going to find that here in Hollywood. And to realize that’s what I wanted.
“That’s true,” she exclaimed. “It’s probably why I’m still single as well. These Hollywood guys are all snakes.”
“Yeah, but you get a little bit of action in your movies. I’ve seen you kiss a gazillion hot A-list celebrities.”
She snorted. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. A lot of them can’t kiss. I’m either drowning or they have bad breath. The next time that happens, I’m going to eat a whole damn bag of Funyuns and see how they like it.”
I tossed my head back and laughed. That was too hilarious. I was going to miss her on my travels. “I wish I could be there to see that.”
Emilia appeared by the bathroom door. “Where are you going to head off to first?”
I was planning on doing a huge circle around the US and Canada before I even attempted to go overseas. “I think I’m going to head up to Seattle, then go into Canada. Once I get done there, I’ll go to the Minnesota State Fair to get my cookies since the fair starts in three weeks. Then, after that, I’ll figure it out.”
She held out my phone. “You might want to book your plane ticket then before you back out.”
I took my phone and smiled. “I’m not going to back out. This is the real deal.”
Her eyes glistened. “How long do you think you’ll be gone? I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.”
“You said it yourself, you’re going to join me when you get the chance. I’m going to hold you to that.” I hugged her hard. I’d never really traveled by myself before. While traveling and filming movies I always had the crew with me. Now I was going to be all alone. It was exhilarating and a little scary too. I’d be saying goodbye to the life I’d worked so tirelessly to build, which was about to come to an end. A new beginning awaited me.
Chapter 4
Aubrey
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA
I spent four days in Seattle, exploring every square inch of Pike Place Market and taking a tour of the Space Needle, before getting a flight out to Canada. Being able to come and go as I pleased without having to worry about my schedule was foreign to me. And I liked it. Banff National Park was amazing. I met a young newlywed couple from Ireland who happened to be staying at the same hotel and joined them for dinner three out of the five nights I was there. After that, I made it a point to add another entry to my bucket list: befriend at least one person at each of my stops.
The people that I’d met were real; they reminded me of where I grew up. I started thinking more about my friends from high school—and the guy I’d always believed to be my soulmate. I missed my home, and him more than anything. Traveling was exciting, but making me more melancholy too—making me want things that were long gone. Ever since I started my journey, I’d been logging my experiences in a journal. For the past two hours, that was all I’d done. It was like every time I put the pen to paper, my hand would have a mind of its own. I kept writing about the things I’d missed out on—love being the main one. Visions of Cole would pop into my head, and I’d lose myself in the memories. Cole Haywood. I couldn’t even bring myself to say his name aloud for fear that my heart would break even more. God, I missed him.
Eyes burning, I huffed and tossed my journal onto the floor. “Dammit, Aubrey. You have to stop thinking about him.” Leaving the journal there, I focused on my bucket list notebook that sat on the nightstand.
My next entry after Banff was about the Minnesota State Fair, where I’d snagged a whole bucket of Sweet Martha’s chocolate chip cookies. I opened up the tub and started chowing down. They were dangerously good, and maybe the chocolate could help me forget about the things I’d done wrong in my life. What I needed was a distraction. My next stop was St. Louis, so I grabbed my laptop to begin my research. I had to keep my mind busy.
A few minutes passed, and I’d been so engrossed in making my St. Louis plans that I hadn’t paid attention to how many cookies I’d eaten. Unfortunately, my stomach was going to feel it later.
My phone started to ring, and Emilia’s name popped up on the screen. I reached over to grab it off the nightstand. “Hey,” I answered.
“What’s up, girl? Where are you?”
Feeling stuffed, I leaned back against the headboard and moved my laptop to the side. “Still in Minnesota. You would know that if you kept up with my Instagram.”
“Ouch,” she replied sheepishly. “I know, I know…I’m a bad friend. I’ve just been caught up in learning these script lines. You know how focused I get when I want a movie role.”
I knew all too well, especially with all the competition actors had to face to get the jobs they wanted. When she got in her zone, no one could break her out of it. “It’s okay,” I said, laughing. “I’ll forgive you this time. In all reality, I thought I was going to pack up and leave yesterday, but I decided to stay. The fair was bigger than I imagined. I needed the extra day to see it all.”
“I hear ya. Did you get another bucket of cookies?”
A snicker escaped my lips. “Of course. My stomach is going to hate me for eating so many. And just so you know, I shipped a bucket out to you today as well. You’ll get them tomorrow.”
“Awesome, thanks. My hips don’t exactly need them, but I can’t wait to try them and see what all the hype is about.”
In a way, I felt sorry for her. Because she was a movie star, it was important to keep a trim figure for certain roles. Emilia was always watching what she ate, making it a point to eat only one sweet treat a week. There was no way in hell I’d be able to do that.
“You’ll be fine,” I assured her. “How’s everything going out your way?”
She squealed. “Perfect, as a matter of fact. Want to guess who got the movie role?”
My whole body buzzed with excitement. “No way. You got it?” I knew she would. Every time she auditioned for a role, it was like she became that person.
“I did.” She squealed again. “They said I was perfect.”
And she was. Even if she wasn’t my friend, I would’ve chosen her. As far as actresses went, she was extremely talented. “I’m so happy for you, Em. I hate I won’t be working with you.”
“It’s okay. I’ve worked with this new director before. He’s really good, but of course, you’re better. Everyone knew how amazing the film was going to be with you directing it. Now that you’re gone, he has the pressure on him. He hasn’t won the awards like you have. Not to mention, he wasn’t mentored by the famous Norman Reed like you were.”
Last year, I’d won the Golden Globe for best director, and an Emmy for best director of a comedy. Before that, I’d won an Oscar for best director. It was all so surreal. When I looked back at pictures and videos of me on stage, sometimes it was hard to recognize myself. I’d changed so much from being a small-town girl from Oklahoma to a big-city director in Hollywood. A part of me always wondered if Cole ever watched the awards shows and saw me. Did he think about me the way I thought about him? Would he even recognize me if he saw me today?
