Rem had finished the piece of bread he’d been eating and picked up another. “I spent the last two months on an Alaskan fishing boat. Hard work and I loved the challenge, but the food sucked. This is good.”

  Her heart dropped a little more. She didn’t want a man who jumped from challenge to challenge and couldn’t stay in one spot. Like James. He’d gotten tired of Elaine, so he’d told her he had a job on Friday nights. Instead he’d been taking Corrie out and romancing her.

  Yeah. She needed to stop comparing the two men, but hearing that Rem loved a challenge was a big red flag for her.

  “I suppose it was challenging to be a bull rider as well?” she said, hoping it was a casual and natural continuation of the conversation. She was a bit out of practice at conversing with adults.

  “Yeah.” His teeth flashed white in his face, and his eyes shone. “Life is a challenge, and I like to hit it head-on.” He spread his hands out. “This is a challenge, and I know I’m up for it.”

  Elaine tried to boost her sagging spirits. She knew she would never get a play-it-safe kind of guy to take on what she was offering. She needed a man like Rem. If only he didn’t constantly remind her of James. She hadn’t been enough to keep James here and happy. After two years, she’d mostly come to terms with the fact that it hadn’t been her responsibility to make him honor his vows, but she still had that part of her that whispered there was something wrong with her because her husband wouldn’t stay true.

  “I’m glad.”

  “You don’t sound it.” His eyes had narrowed some, and he was studying her.

  “You’re right. It’s going to be a challenge. I guess I just don’t want you to ‘meet’ this challenge then go looking for the next challenge in your life.” She lifted a shoulder, unable to look at him. “Or maybe you’ll get tired of the kids. It gets crazy in here. Or maybe you’ll get tired of the cold and the snow, the isolation, the darkness, the mess, the chaos. Or...maybe you’ll get tired of me.” Her voice wasn’t as strong at the end as she wanted it to be.

  She could handle anything. He could snore. Throw his clothes on the floor. Leave the toothpaste lid off. Squeeze from the middle. Put the toilet paper roll on so it hung over instead of under—holy smokes, she’d just love to have someone else actually replace an empty roll of toilet paper!

  With a billion dollars, he could even waste money and she would bite her lips hard to keep from complaining about that. But she couldn’t stand another man who left.

  “I assumed we’d be married in front of a preacher,” he said slowly.

  Her brows knitted together. “I thought so too.”

  “If I say I’m staying, especially in front of a preacher with the Good Book open, I’m gonna die beside you, girl.” His eyes were black as night and dead serious.

  Somehow, she didn’t doubt him for a second. “As long as you don’t hurt my kids, that’s all I need to know.”

  One side of his mouth kicked up, and he reached for another piece of bread. “I think that’s what the binder’s for. I’ve not been around kids much, but I don’t have much of a temper. In my opinion, that’s probably most of the problem with people that hurt kids.” His eyes gazed out the window, where dusk had fallen. “That, and a whole lot of selfishness.”

  His voice was distant, and his gaze far away, like he might have been remembering something. Maybe from his own childhood? A previous girlfriend?

  She was very curious, but if this were just a business transaction, then they didn’t need to share personal stories any more than it took for them to be comfortable with the decision to get married. She closed her mouth over the questions she wanted to ask.

  Folding her hands carefully together, she said, “Well then, is there anything you need to know about me or the ranch in order to help make your decision?”

  He finished chewing before he answered. “I’ve made it.”

  Her mouth opened. “That’s it? You don’t need to think about it or ask anything or...anything?” she finished, feeling lame. How could he be so sure?

  “No.”

  Her mouth flapped up and down like a fish out of water, but she just couldn’t help it.

  He reached for another slice of bread and must have taken pity on her because he spoke. “I assume you’re not gonna get offended over this because you’re the one looking for a husband, but you’ve got a nice spread here. Enough acreage to run several thousand head of beef, unless we want to branch out. Barn’s in better shape than the house. You have a good well, and I think I saw three boys.” He jerked his head at the room where her children were. “Ranch hands in ten years.”

  He looked down at the knife he held in his hand. “I’m not gonna starve. Just learned that today, and you’re not bad to look at.” He lifted his head and gave her a direct gaze. “But I’m not gonna lie to you. A billion dollars is a lot of money, and I’d marry an ex-con who went to prison for murdering her first husband with a toothpick and a butter knife in order to get it. Especially if she came with a spread this size.” His black eyes sparked. “But I’d be sleeping with my handgun under my pillow.”

  She was grateful that he looked back down and spread butter over his bread, because as much as she didn’t want to admit it, his words had hurt.

  He was right. It was a business proposition that she had initiated. She would have bet money, if she had any, that every single shred of her feminine vanity had been shattered when James walked out on her.

  She’d have lost money she didn’t have. She might not know this guy, and she definitely wasn’t in love with him, but her heart hurt.

  No woman wanted to be told that they were second to money and a ranch. Of course her pride was wounded. She tried to tell herself that was all it was.

  He finished spreading the butter and scooped some jelly out. He only had three more pieces, and he’d have eaten that whole loaf himself.

  He planted his forearms on the table, holding the bread and knife still. “So, how about this? Ask me anything you want today. You read that report tonight. Then I’ll come back tomorrow morning and help you feed. Once we’re done with that and anything else that can’t wait, ask me anything else you want. And if you’re not comfortable then, we can do it for as many days as you need until you’ve eased your mind. I can see how a billion dollars and the ranch might not be worth it to have to put up with me hanging around for the rest of your life.”

  Her eyes flew to his after his last statement. She wasn’t thinking like that at all. Maybe her lack of commitment was hurting him as much as his eagerness for the money had hurt her.

  She spread her hands out. “It’s nothing personal against you. If it were just me, you could have brought the preacher with you today, and we’d be married by now. You seem like a decent guy. Ford recommends you, which means a lot to me, and I think we could be friends.” Her breath pushed out in a heavy sigh, and she fingered the edge of her plate. Her knees had quit trying to knock each other out, but her stomach hadn’t settled enough that she was going to try to eat anything. “But it’s not just me. I have to protect my children. I do have fears of my own, of course.” A lot of them. “But I know I can handle whatever happens. I just don’t want to put my children through anything more. An abuser. A man who’s here, saying he’s going to stay, then leaves. A drunk.”

  Rem flinched at that, and Elaine felt a little bad for hitting him where she knew he was vulnerable, but in her opinion, he needed to know where she stood.

  He put his bread down and faced her in his chair. “That was fair. You’ll see in that report that I was a drunk. It’s documented. It took me twice, but I learned the lessons I needed to. I can promise you I don’t touch alcohol.”

  Normally she wouldn’t push. But she was going to marry this man. “What if something happens? Something really bad? Is getting drunk how you cope?”

  He swallowed and looked away. Seconds ticked by. Finally he looked at the room where the small children were with a sliding glance then back at Elaine. His jaw jutted out. “Bad things? They’ve happened.”

  He stood. “Through them all, I didn’t touch a drop of alcohol.” He shoved his hat on his head.

  Elaine’s chest was balled so tight and hot she could barely breathe.

  Rem put his hand on the door and stood there with his head down, looking at the floor. “You still thinking about taking me?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m gonna walk around outside for a bit. Thanks for the bread.”

  Elaine forced her mouth to work. “I’ll be out in an hour to feed. If you’re still around, you can help and stay for supper.”

  “I’ll help you feed.” He opened the door and walked out.

  Chapter 4

  Rem strode over the well-worn path through the snow. He’d thought this was going to be a business decision, never suspecting that he’d be tempted to share the details of the worst time of his life. Being tossed in jail didn’t even begin to compare. He’d deserved that.

  He walked around the barn. Saw a dilapidated building that must be a chicken coop. Checked out the small herd of Angus in the field closest to the barn. Noted the flimsy fence. In some places, it was fixed with binder twine.

  Two tractors were parked in the bottom of the barn, and there were three horses in stalls. Two of them looked like decent grade horses. One looked like a high-dollar quarter horse that had passed his prime about fifteen years ago. His hip bones jutted out, and his neck seemed too skinny to hold his head, but he had the scars and the brand that bespoke the life of a working horse.

  “Bet you were something, back in the day,” he said as the old boy reached his head over his stall. The boards were fixed haphazardly and would never hold any horse that wanted out. But this guy was well-trained, and although a little of the fire from his youth still blazed in his eyes, there was wisdom and patience there, as well. He probably had enough zip in him to make her kids feel like real cowboys, while not so much that Elaine would worry about them getting hurt.

  He scratched the big blaze on the wide, old forehead. “You’re still doing a job. Still needed. Even if it’s different than what you started out with.”

  He supposed the horse was like him. He missed the bull riding some. The attention and accolades. The respect. Up here, he’d yet to meet anyone who even recognized him. At least in Texas, he still garnered a hat tip and a back slap, if not full-out questions or even a request for his autograph. There, a championship bull rider was a big thing. They knew it wasn’t easy.

  Hadn’t been easy on his body, either. He probably had just as many aches and pains as that old horse. His ankle and wrist ached no matter what the weather. His leg with the pin in it hurt like heck when they were going to get a storm.

  His skull had a plate over it in the back—the injury that finally ended his career—but his hat and hair covered the scar most of the time.

  His right shoulder had been dislocated more times than he could count. And he couldn’t even say how many ribs he’d busted. No point in going to the doc for that. He could ride as soon as he could grit his teeth through the pain and not pass out.

  Were those things he should disclose to Elaine? There was no such thing as a pain-free day for him, and he couldn’t imagine it would get better with time.

  The concussions might be the thing that she really ought to be told about.

  His hand had stilled, and the old horse nuzzled his chest. “No treats, sorry, bud.”

  He scratched the ears, deciding that he wouldn’t tell Elaine about his injuries. Maybe they’d be documented to some extent in the report anyway. From what Ford had said, Rem was her last hope. And from what she said, her only concern was her children. It wouldn’t matter to her if he were too stoved up to work in a couple of years or so. With the kind of money she was going to get, she could hire people to work the ranch and wouldn’t need him anyway.

  He didn’t like that thought.

  Maybe trying to find a life after the accolades and excitement of being a champion bull rider was harder than he’d thought it would be. Of course, he’d thought he’d be joining his dad on their spread and breeding champion bucking bulls and horses. Hadn’t thought he’d end up in the frozen north, in the middle of nowhere, saddled to a woman and her four kids, raising beef to eat. He could do it. He had the knowledge, the contacts, the drive, and the determination. He’d have the money it would take to transform this place from a ramshackle spread to a profitable one with a solid reputation.

  Regardless if this wasn’t his first choice in life, he was gonna give a commitment, and he was gonna stick to that commitment.

  He gave the old head one more solid pat then moved on. The other two horses didn’t show the quality of breed the old guy had, but they probably worked for the kids. He doubted Elaine used them on the ranch. There were more stalls, but most were filled with junk—old parts and pieces, a couple tires, a tractor hood, something that looked a lot like an old CAT motor, boards, rusty nails, and old fencing. Nothing worth keeping to him, but he’d guess it’s where Elaine went when she needed to fix something.

  The snow had covered the yard and ground around the barn, but he wondered if there might be junk lying around out there, too. Come spring, he’d find out.

  While he was down in the barn, he mucked out the horses’ stalls and gave them fresh water and hay.

  “Hey! There he is!” a childish voice yelled as he threw the last of the hay into the last stall.

  “Don’t scare the horses, son.” Elaine’s smooth voice came from the shadows.

  Then she said, “There are lights here.” A scraping sound then a pounding. The lights flicked on. “It’s not a switch, though. You have to shove the breaker in.”

  Somehow that didn’t surprise him. He looked over his shoulder at where she stood under a box. An old piece of baler twine looped down. He jerked his head. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

  “It’s dark for a long time in the winter. You’ll need the lights.” She walked away, her steps somehow graceful despite the drooping of her shoulders.

  His heart twitched. He could admire a woman who worked hard. Who wouldn’t quit. Surely she’d been tempted to sell this place, take her kids, and walk away.

  “I’m Gabe. I’m eight.” A little boy with a big beanie hat and a thick jacket stood in front of him with his hand out.

  Rem bit back a smile at the serious look on the little face and took his hand, pumping it up and down. “I’m Rem. I’m thirty.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Elaine’s head jerk, like she hadn’t known how old he was. Or maybe she was worried he was going to eat her son after they shook hands.

  “Mom said you might marry her and stay here.”

  “If that’s what she decides she wants.”

  “Well, Dad left. Mom says she doesn’t know why.” Gabe opened his mouth to say more, but he didn’t get a chance.

  “Gabriel. Find out if Mr. Martinez gave the horses grain. You can talk later, after the work’s done.” She rustled around over in the corner of the barn. Rem wasn’t sure what she was doing, but she had the little boy that had gone in to go to the restroom the night they met at the gas station with her.

  “I gave them hay and water and cleaned their stalls.”

  Gabe jerked his head up then started chattering about how much grain they gave and why, where it was, and other details that Rem filed away. He worked the whole time he chattered. Rem had a feeling his mother wouldn’t take kindly to him standing around. He liked that. He could handle kids of any caliber, but he appreciated that these had been learning to work and didn’t seem to feel entitled.

  Gabe chattered most of the next two hours while they fed and watered. Elaine gave occasional instructions, and a few times, she spoke to the child that worked at her side. Rem wasn’t sure of his name.

  Once they were on the barn floor, he saw two old four-wheelers, although only one looked like it had been used in the last ten years. There was also a snowmobile. He’d never actually seen one of those up close, but he’d seen them on TV and in magazines.

  “It doesn’t work.” Elaine’s voice sent a fluid shiver down his spine.

  She wasn’t short, and with her heavy jacket on, she wasn’t as thin-looking as she seemed inside. Her cheeks were red from the cold, and her blue eyes sparkled. Her hair was mostly hidden by her hat. She had her hands in her pockets and stood casually, neither showing disinterest or a desire to be too close.

  After being chased for so many years by the young women who followed the rodeos, it felt almost odd to just stand casually and chat about a broken snowmobile.

  “I’ve never actually been around one before, but I can sometimes fix things.” He’d actually been pretty good at piecing things together. Growing up, his dad had big dreams and in the early years, not enough money to make it all work.

  “That’d be nice.” She didn’t move to go, studying him like she might find answers to her questions in his stance.

  “There’s a shed over there.” He nodded his head in the direction he’d seen a building sitting off by itself. Not big enough to be an equipment shed, it was too large and not the right shape for a chicken coop.

  “There’s a big lake on our property.” She pointed north. “My grandparents and great-grandparents used to do a lot of ice fishing. They used that shed to keep their equipment but mostly to clean and cure the fish. I think part of it was a smokehouse.” She paused. “It’s been a while since I was over that way, but there were a couple small cabins. Nothing fancy, but I guess they were built for friends who came and fished. I haven’t thought of the lake in a while. Too busy with other things.”

  Rem nodded, interested that she’d had the ground in her family for so long. No wonder she didn’t want to lose it.

  “There’s only fifty-two head of cattle, and they’re all here. I always count them, just to make sure.” She turned her head as the boys yelled, jumping from hay bale to hay bale in the loft.

 

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