Sweet Revenge (Sinners MC Book 1), page 17
I grunted. “Spent a lot of years with no one to trust.”
“You’ve also spent a hell of a lot of years with a fucking army at your back. You don’t know that, you aren’t the man or the leader I thought you were.”
I nodded because he was right, but I was done talking. Talking wouldn’t prove myself; I needed to rebuild the trust they lost in me, and I would but not with my words. It would take action, and it would take time, but we’d get there.
Maggie turned and started walking toward us with Kat at her side. I reached out and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her to stand right up against my chest. She giggled and tipped her head back so I could lean down and kiss her softly. “You having fun, baby?”
She nodded and then looked back at Kat who smiled. “Kat said when I’m able she might have a job for me if I want it.”
My eyes widened in surprise. “Is that something you’d want?”
She nodded again, a smile gracing her beautiful face. “I think I’d like that. It would be answering phones and filing and stuff, but I think I could do that.”
I brushed her hair off her cheek with my fingertips. “I know you could, baby.”
I looked over her head and met Kat’s stare. “May be a while.”
“That’s okay.” She shrugged. “I’ve managed this long on my own, so I can wait a little while longer.”
“Why Maggie?” Bull asked from beside me, and I waited for her answer.
She glanced at Bull, but her light expression darkened. “I think it would be a good to have someone with me who understands this life. Less questions.”
“Probably a good idea.” Bull agreed.
She stared at him a minute longer before she shifted her attention back to Maggie and smiled. “I need to talk to Bear for a minute.”
Maggie nodded. “Okay. Thanks, Kat.”
She shot me a smile but ignored Bull when she brushed past him, and I snorted. “Bull, man, she does not like you.”
Bull pushed off the bar and turned, pointing his bottle at me. “Fine line, brother.”
I tilted my head to the side. “Fine line?”
“Between love and hate.” He smirked and turned to lean over the bar, calling out for another beer.
I chuckled and pulled Maggie in tight against me again. She lifted her hands and laid them on my chest. “What does that mean?”
“It means…” I leaned down, putting my face closer to hers. “Kat’s been waving a red flag and has no idea.”
She looked adorably confused. “What does that mean?”
“Just watch and see. Bull got his road name for a reason.”
Understanding dawned on her face, but then her expression turned curious. “How’d you get your name?”
I swallowed hard, not wanting to tell her, but knowing she had the right to know everything about me. “My father gave it to me when I was a kid because I was good at shooting.”
Her eyes widened almost comically. “As a kid?”
I nodded. “Yeah. My father is not a good man, Maggie.”
Her eyes saddened, and she ran her hand along my chest. “But you are.”
I pulled her hand from my chest and kissed her fingers. “As long as I’m good enough for you, Maggie, nothing else matters.”
Becs came around the bar holding a box of cupcakes and smiled. “Time for cake.”
Maggie smiled and wrapped her small hand around mine, sliding our palms together until we could link fingers. “Maybe after cake, we should go check on Lilly and Luna.”
I leaned down and kissed her, a little harder and a little longer, needing to feel her against me. “Whatever you want, baby.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
MAGGIE
He said whatever I wanted, and he meant it. I knew that.
I just needed to ask for what I wanted.
We stayed at the party for a little while longer before Gunner tugged my hand, and I followed him across the room toward the stairs. There were some couples starting to make out, and I had the feeling Gunner wanted to shield me from that. He probably didn’t realize I saw that all the time when I was with Snake—that and so much more. The only thing I was ever thankful for was that Snake refused to share me with the other members like some of the guys did. As bad as it was with Snake, I couldn’t imagine being passed around like some of the other women.
He pushed open the door to my bedroom and moved to the side to let me walk in first. I smiled when I immediately saw Lilly and Luna, my girls, sleeping together in the middle of my bed. I still couldn’t believe Gunner had done something so sweet and thoughtful for me. It was something I only mentioned one time, but he remembered that, and he made something I never thought I’d have a reality.
I kept one hand tucked tightly in his and moved across the room to pet the kitties with my free hand, smiling even wider when Luna purred loudly.
“You like them?”
I didn’t look up, just stared at my girls. “I love them.”
Gunner dropped my hand and wrapped his arms around me from behind, propping his chin on my shoulder. I ran my fingertips over his fingers and leaned my head back against his chest.
“I still can’t believe you did this.” I whispered.
His warm breath floated across my ear. “I’d do anything for you, Maggie.”
I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before I admitted something I hadn’t before. “I remember you.”
His arms stiffened around me, and his body became a solid wall behind me, but he didn’t answer, so I continued. “That day, outside the store on Windburn Street.” I stared at the girls while I spoke, but I was remembering his expression, the way he stared at me, and the fact that I was sad when Snake came out of that store. I just didn’t understand why. “I didn’t know why you were staring at me like that until I saw your cut and patch, and I realized you probably knew Snake.”
His arms tightened. “That’s not why I was staring at you.”
I swallowed hard and forced myself to be brave. “Then why were you?”
He pulled back slightly and turned me around so we were facing each other. I stepped in close and laid my hands on his chest when he dropped his hands to my hips and squeezed gently. “You were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen, and I couldn’t look away.” He rubbed his thumbs along my hip, causing a flutter to start low in my belly. “I hated Snake, always had, hated all the Widows, but when he climbed on that bike, and you wrapped your arms around him, I hated him with an intensity I’d only ever had for my father.”
I tilted my head to the side. “Your father?”
He lowered his head slightly, putting his face closer to mine. “My father is Viper.”
My body went completely still at the thought of Gunner being that man’s son. That didn’t even make sense to me. I’d met Viper a few times at rallies, and as much as Snake scared me, that man terrified me. He would stare at me when we were in the same place, and one time, he started toward me, but I made an excuse of needing the bathroom and ran inside the clubhouse where I hid until I thought he’d moved on. He hadn’t.
“Viper.” I breathed.
“You met him?”
I nodded my head slowly. “Everyone knows Viper, Gunner.”
He narrowed his eyes. “He ever hurt you?”
I started to shake my head but decided I needed to be honest instead. “One time at a rally, he cornered me and said some things.” I looked over his shoulder, embarrassed. “Some sexual stuff, but then Snake found me.”
His hands tightened on my hips. “What did Snake do?”
“He yelled at me and then slapped me, right in front of Viper. He laughed and patted Snake on the back before he walked away.”
“Snake blamed you.” he guessed correctly.
“He said I was a whore who was trying to get to the top.” I shrugged. “Honestly, I was happy he caught me with Viper because I knew he’d be mad, and we’d leave.”
“Did you?”
“Yeah. I didn’t really see him after that. Snake stopped taking me to rallies with him, which I was happy about because I hated them.” I reached up and pushed my hair behind my ear. “But I’d heard around the clubhouse what Viper did to other girls. I don’t know if it’s true because some of it was pretty bad, but I also didn’t want to find out.”
“It was true.”
“How do you know that?”
Gunner’s gaze hardened. “Because I know what he’s capable of.” I waited, sensing he had something to tell me, and after what seemed like a long moment, he continued. “He killed my mom because she tried to leave him.”
I pulled back, stunned that the story I’d heard over the years was actually true. “That was true?”
His brow furrowed. “You heard?”
I nodded slowly. “Snake and the others talked about it. It was almost like they praised Viper for doing that. They said she wanted to take his son too, and that’s why he killed her.” I took another step back and his hands dropped. “You’re that son?”
“I’m his only son as far as I know.” He put his hands on his hips. “Do you know something I don’t know?”
I shook my head. “No, except there was a rumor that he had another son, an older one, who he didn’t raise, but I don’t know if that’s true.”
“He could’ve. Fuck, he probably fathered a lot of kids, and if the women were smart, they kept them a secret.” He ran his hand through his hair. “You overheard a lot.”
I shrugged. “Snake would get drunk and talk about everything. Plus, I was quiet and stayed in the shadows. I tried to make myself invisible, so they never knew I was around. That was how I got all the information I brought to you guys.”
“If he knew you were listening, he would’ve killed you.”
“I think part of me wanted him to find out,” I admitted quietly before laying my palm against his chest. “I’m sorry you lost your mom, especially the way you did.”
He dropped his head and stared at his shoes. “I watched her die, Maggie, by his hands. As soon as I could, I got the hell out of there.”
“I thought no one could leave the Widows.”
He lifted his head, his eyes full of pain. “You can’t. I had something on him, still do, something he doesn’t want anyone else to know I have on him.” His voice deepened. “I’m going to take him and that whole fucking club down.”
I looked over his shoulder again, my mind overwhelmed with everything he’d just told me, when something occurred to me. I shifted my gaze and met his once again. “Is that why you’ve been trying so hard to save me? Because you couldn’t save your mom?”
He was quiet, so quiet that I knew I was right, and I stepped back. I took another step back, and he watched me until I moved from his embrace and put some distance between us.
I wrapped my arms around my body and swallowed back the tears threatening. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want him to see a victim when he looked at me or be constantly reminded of his mom. A woman he loved and watched die, a woman he was too young to save.
I took a deep breath and faced him. “Saving me, Gunner, saving this club from the Widows, won’t change the fact that he killed your mom.”
“Taking down that club will save a lot of innocent people.” he defended.
“I agree. I think you guys should use whatever you have and end their reign, but saving me, saving those other women, won’t bring her back.”
His jaw hardened. “I know that, Maggie. I accepted her death a long time ago. I also accepted I was too young to save her, but I’m old enough now to make sure he pays for every last sin.”
I smiled sadly. “I don’t want to be your revenge prize.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Do you really believe you are?”
I dropped my arms and shrugged. “I don’t know what I am to you now. I thought I was finally understanding it, but hearing your story makes me wonder if you’re just trying to save me to heal yourself.”
He studied me hard, and the intensity of his gaze burned through me. When he spoke, his voice was full of anger. “Are you fucking kidding me, Maggie?” He took a step toward me. “I’ve done everything I know to show you what you mean to me.”
“I don’t understand what that all means, Gunner.” I raised my voice, feeling for the first time that I was completely safe stating my opinion and doing it loudly. “And you don’t tell me. You just do nice things, but you don’t say anything, so I don’t know what to do with any of it. Sometimes I worry I’m here because I’m still an obligation to you.”
“You are not an obligation, Maggie, to me or the others, but you are our responsibility, and you’re going to have to accept that.”
I jerked back. “I don’t accept that. I don’t want to be a responsibility to anyone, especially you.”
He took another step toward me and lowered his voice to a growl. “I’ve had to accept you’re in love with another man, so I think you can accept this.”
My eyes widened. “You think I’m in love with Snake?”
He jerked his head back. “Snake? Fuck no, I don’t think that.”
I threw my arms out to the side. “Then who?”
He took another step, but I felt no fear. I felt strong and capable, and more than anything, I felt safe. “Don’t pretend you don’t have feelings for Luke, Maggie. Christ, you told me you don’t feel for me what you feel for him.”
Luke. He was talking about Luke. I should’ve realized that. I should’ve known from the looks he sent Luke when I was around or the way he reacted when Luke hugged me, but I hadn’t. Until recently, I hadn’t understood any of it, my feelings included.
“I don’t,” I admitted honestly, knowing this was going to be a conversation that neither of us might be ready for but needed to have.
He put his hands on his hips and dropped his head, but not before I saw hurt flash through his eyes. He shook his head and started to move past me toward the door. “I need to go.”
I grabbed his arm before he could completely pass me. “Gunner.”
He stopped walking, but wouldn’t look at me. I stared at the side of his face and spoke. “I don’t feel the same way…”
“Stop.” He bit out. “I know, Maggie, okay? I know.”
I tugged on his arm until he looked at me. “Will you listen to what I’m saying?”
He held my stare for a moment before he tipped his chin up, acknowledging he would listen, but he couldn’t hide the pain in his eyes. “When I said that to you, I meant it.” He closed his eyes, but I turned my body so we could stand chest-to-chest and continued speaking. “But not in the way you think. I meant I couldn’t understand what I felt for you because it didn’t feel the same.”
I was thrilled when he opened his eyes and stared into mine. He needed to see the truth in them while he heard the words. “I feel nervous with you, but in an exciting way. I want you to hold my hand and kiss me and…” I pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and felt a blush working its way up my neck. “Well, more, and that isn’t anything I ever wanted from a man before, including Luke. He was my friend when I had no one, and I realized I made that friendship more in my mind because I needed it to hold onto something. He was like a raft in the middle of the ocean, my only hope of surviving, and for a short time, he became my everything. Jack pointed that out to me, but he’d been talking about Snake. How I clung to him to save myself, and I realized when talking to Jack that I’d done the same thing with Luke.”
I reached up and laid my palm against his cheek. “But that all changed with you. I understand the difference in my feelings now, thanks to Lisa and Becs. I didn’t before so I couldn’t explain it to you like I should have.”
“Explain it to me now.” His voice was raspy when he spoke.
I smiled shyly and dropped my hand to his chest. “You make me feel when I was numb for so long, refusing to feel anything. Maybe I was protecting myself, I don’t know, but then you blasted your way into my life and demanded things of me, things I was scared of or intimidated by because I was afraid of the consequences if I failed.” He ran his hand up my side and watched me patiently. “You make me feel like a survivor, not a victim, not the pathetic shell of a person Snake convinced me I was. You make me feel like my opinion matters, and you give me choices without any pressure or fear that I’ll make one you don’t like.”
“You are a survivor, baby,” he said gently. “And there will never be a time as long as I’m breathing that you’ll be forced to survive alone.”
I pushed in closer to his body, not even a breath of space between us, and tried to say the words that scared me the most. “Becs thinks I love you.”
He put his hands on my hips and squeezed. “And what do you think?”
I rolled my lips together and lifted my other hand to his chest. “I think she’s pretty smart.”
I watched as his lips slowly lifted into a small grin and felt the knot of fear in my chest loosen. “That’s good to hear, baby.”
“Why?”
“Because I fell in love with you three years ago on the street, and I’ve just been waiting for you to catch up.”
Tears flooded my eyes when my mind processed his beautiful words, but I didn’t have time to respond before he dropped his head and laid his lips against mine.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
MAGGIE
My heart was beating so fast just from hearing his beautiful words, but now that he was kissing me, I felt like it might explode right out of my chest. His hands skimmed over my hips and up my sides until he could wrap one of them around the side of my neck. I loved the feel of his hands on my skin; his rough, working man’s hands against my silky skin excited me in a way I couldn’t explain.
The kiss started out slow and sweet but quickly became rushed when he slid his tongue in alongside my own and kissed me deeper. I skimmed my hands down his sides until I felt the stitching on the hem of his T-shirt against my fingers and yanked it up. Shoving my hands underneath, I moaned when I felt his warm skin beneath my palms.
