Sweet Revenge (Sinners MC Book 1), page 12
I felt Gunner move a little, but my eyes were locked with Luke’s who hadn’t looked away from me since I began talking. He took a step forward, his stare intense. “Why are telling us this, Maggie?”
I dropped Gunner’s hand and stepped forward, putting me almost directly in front of Luke. “I know you tried to help me for a long time, and I know I disappointed you when I would refuse to press charges.” I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin. “I want to press charges against Snake. And this time, I promise I’ll be strong enough to follow through.”
“Will you testify to everything about the shooting and the fire?” Cam asked from somewhere beside me, but my gaze was still locked with Luke’s.
“Yes.” I agreed without hesitation.
“If I get your official statement and have the charges filed, I can put out a warrant for his arrest. That will officially open the case again.” Luke watched me closely while he talked. I knew he was waiting for me to break, to change my mind, and I couldn’t blame him. I’d done it to him so many times in the past, but this time, I wasn’t doing it alone. I had people helping me, caring for me, and keeping me safe, things I’d never had all those other times when Luke would try to encourage me.
“Okay.”
He took the last step forward and stood right in front of me. “Maggie, I need to make sure you’re willing to follow through until the very end when I finally put that man where he deserves to be. It may take a while, and you may be asked questions that make you uncomfortable, especially about the abuse and why you never reported it before.”
“I’m ready this time.”
“Why now?” Luke probed gently.
I smiled softly. “I’m not alone anymore.”
Luke nodded and moved forward suddenly, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tight to his body. I smiled against his shoulder when I heard him whisper, “Thank you,” in my ear and tightened his hold. When he finally pulled back, he smiled down at me and then looked over my head with a strange expression on his face.
I hesitated but turned to look over my shoulder. Gunner stood at my back, staring at Luke. I couldn’t interpret the expression on his face, but there seemed to be a silent conversation going on between Luke and him.
Luke broke the stare and glanced back down at me. “I’ll be back to meet with you tomorrow morning to get your official statement. It’s late, and I won’t be able to get a warrant tonight anyway.” When I nodded, he continued. “Any time alright?”
“Yeah.” I shrugged. “I don’t really go anywhere.”
Luke chuckled along with the others, and I smiled. I usually wasn’t funny, so it made me feel pretty good that I could make these men laugh.
I glanced back at Gunner and turned slightly so I could see everyone. “I think I’m going to go up to my room.”
Gunner jerked his chin up. “I’ll walk you up.”
I shook my head and patted my hand against his chest. “No. You stay here. I’ll be fine.”
He walked me to the door and pulled it open, but I turned back when I heard my name called. Turning, I faced Bear having recognized the voice as his. “You’re right. You are not alone anymore, honey. And you never will be again.” He stepped forward and wrapped his hand around the side of my neck, tilting his head down. “You’re family. You have been since you walked your ass into this clubhouse and bravely faced us. That took courage not a lot of people would’ve had, and it’s something no one in this room will ever forget.” He dropped his hand and grinned. “Go ahead. I know you need a break.”
I felt a blush on my cheeks and smiled shyly. They knew me. They knew me better than I thought they did. I backed out of the room and lifted my hand in a wave before making my way down the hallway and toward the stairs. When I felt someone behind me, I turned and saw a woman I didn’t know walking quickly until she positioned herself in front of me, stopped and blocked me from going any further.
“You the girl I’ve been hearing about?”
My eyes scanned over her face. She was pretty, really pretty, and I tried hard to remember where I’d seen her before because she seemed familiar now that we were standing face-to-face, but I couldn’t. I shook it off, but it felt like something that was going to nag at me.
I assumed I didn’t answer fast enough when she started talking again. “You must be, although I’ve never seen you at a party before.”
“I don’t usually come to the parties.” I answered quietly, but at the same time trying to think of a way to ask her to move so I could go upstairs.
“You’re the one with Gunner then?” When I didn’t answer, she leaned in close, and I smelled the heavy scent of cigarette smoke on her breath. Snake always smelled like smoke, and it was a memory I didn’t welcome. “Don’t think you’re special. He’s fucked just about every female in this room. Well, except for Becs.” She laughed, but it sounded more creepy than amused. “Although maybe he’s her baby daddy, and that’s why she won’t say who is.”
I stared into her eyes and saw the desperation and jealousy I was familiar with. Maybe she really didn’t know who I was or where I lived before here, but her nasty words were nothing new to me. I’d met worse than her and heard worse than this about the man I was living with, although somewhere deep inside me, the part that I ignored all too often when I lived with Snake, I knew those women were telling the truth.
The same way I knew this one wasn’t.
I felt someone come up beside me, but I ignored them and focused on the woman trying so hard to scare me away from the man she so obviously wanted for herself.
“Gunner’s a good man. There isn’t a thing you can say that will change my mind or scare me away from him. We all have a past that we shouldn’t have to explain or apologize for, and I won’t ask him to do something he never asks of me.” I nodded and looked to my side to see Becs smiling at the woman standing speechless.
Becs flicked her wrist in the air and gestured toward the party. “You should find someone new, Candy. If Gunner finds out you were even talking to Maggie, he’ll lose his shit, and you’ll be nothing but a dirty memory here.” She grinned mischievously. “It’d be a shame if someone overheard and told him.”
“You’re a bitch, Becs.” Candy snarled. “No wonder you’re knocked up and alone. Who the fuck would want you?”
Becs leaned forward, but Candy must’ve wanted to have the last word because she spun on her heel, marched back to the pool table, and wrapped her arms around Skinner. “I hope Skinner’s smart enough to avoid her.”
“Me too,” Becs grumbled. “Poor kid if he isn’t because she’s like poison.”
“Yeah, no kidding.” I touched her arm. “She’s wrong, you know.”
Becs shrugged her shoulder, but I could tell Candy’s words hurt her somewhere deep. “She’s not that wrong about me, Maggie.”
“Yes, she is.” I said confidently.
“Yeah, how do you know?” Becs asked. “You don’t know me all that well.”
I bit my lip and looked past her to where Jack Dimarco still sat at the bar, now talking to Bull, and remembered his words about hanging on to anything when you felt like you were drowning and all alone. I had a feeling Becs and I weren’t all that different.
I shifted my attention back to Becs who was watching me curiously. “I think I may know you better than anyone.”
She blinked slowly and smiled but didn’t answer, only motioned to the stairs. “You going up to your room?”
I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “Yeah, I’m kind of partied out.”
“Want some company?”
“Definitely.” I answered.
We made our way into my room, and I closed the door quietly behind me. I turned to see Becs already sitting on the side of my bed. “Are you okay?”
I started to say yes, like I always have to that question, usually trying to avoid explaining my feelings, but I changed my mind and answered honestly. “I’m not sure.”
“You met with the guys.” When I nodded, she continued. “Did something happen?”
I picked up the bottom of my sweater and ran my fingertips over the soft hem. “I told them I remembered the attack, and I wanted to press charges.”
She jumped up and hugged me. “That’s so great, Maggie.” She pulled back a little, her face full of concern. “Do you remember…”
She trailed off, and I understood why. “No, I think I blacked out when he…” I swallowed hard. “When that happened.”
She dropped her arms and took a few steps back to sit on the bed again. “Maybe that’s good.”
“Lisa thinks I either blacked out, or my mind is protecting me.”
“Is meeting with Lisa making you remember?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, but I think maybe it is. We talk about a lot, including all of the abuse over the years.”
She reached out and tapped my arm. “You like her?”
I smiled. “Yeah, and I really like talking to her. She went through some stuff too that she shares with me.” I moved around and sat beside her on the bed. “I never thought somebody who went to college and is smart and has a great job could’ve grown up a little like me, going through some of the same stuff.”
Becs put her hand on my leg. “Maggie, there are a lot of people who did a lot of things to survive bad situations and came out on top.”
I looked down at my linked fingers. “I always felt like I was completely alone, that no one would understand why I did what I did or why I put up with Snake.” I wiped a little moisture from my eyes. “Sometimes I didn’t understand it either, but I never felt like I had any other choice.”
“And now?”
I glanced up at her. “Now I feel like all I have are choices. Sometimes that can be overwhelming.”
She leaned in close. “Then make one at a time.”
I smiled. “That’s what Lisa said.”
Her eyes widened. “Wow, who knew I was smart enough to be a therapist.” We laughed together, and she continued. “You talked to Jack for a while.”
I clasped my hands together. “He thanked me for giving information to Bear and Gunner to help Luke the first time I did.”
She smiled. “That doesn’t surprise me. Their family is close and as much as that information meant to my brother and Gunner, it meant even more to that family.” I only nodded, and she continued. “Did he say anything else?”
“He said he considers me family because of what I did and what that meant for Luke.”
“How does that make you feel?”
I paused for a moment and thought about that. Only one word kept popping into my mind. “Brave.”
Becs sighed. “You are brave, Maggie. That’s what we’ve all been trying to tell you.” She laughed. “I guess it just took Jack Dimarco to make you believe it.”
I giggled. “I guess so.” The smile dropped from my lips, and I continued. “I didn’t feel brave when I was doing it, Becs. I just did it because I was so tired of all of it.”
“And for Luke.”
“Yeah,” I admitted quietly, “and for Luke.”
“Do you have feelings for him, Maggie?”
I should’ve known Becs would ask the hard questions, she always had with me, and I wasn’t lying when I answered. “I don’t know what I feel. I don’t understand my feelings.”
She smiled sadly. “He’s happily married.”
I shook my head. “See, that’s just it. I’m happy for him. I want that for him. I don’t think that’s what it was about for me.”
She tilted her head to the side. “What about Gunner?”
I closed my eyes and ran my hand across my forehead. “I really don’t understand my feelings for Gunner.”
“Are they different from what you feel for Luke?”
“Yes.” I answered immediately.
“How?”
I wrung my hands together and tried to find the words to explain the feelings I didn’t really understand. But I needed to talk this out, wanted someone to explain what I was feeling because I’d never been more confused in my life. “I wonder what Gunner’s doing throughout the day. I never did that with Luke.”
“That’s good.” She turned to face me and pulled her leg up, tucking it under her. “Okay, let’s do this. Tell me what you like about Gunner and don’t say, ‘He’s nice to me.’” She rolled her eyes, and I laughed softly. “Tell me what you really like about him as a person, as a man who is interested in you.” She leaned in close. “Because he is, Maggie. I’ve never seen him act the way he acts with you.”
“Sometimes I think he still feels guilty that Snake got to me even though it was my fault,” I admitted quietly.
“Maybe,” Becs admitted. “But that is not why he’s the way he is with you.” She slapped her hands down on her thighs. “Now, tell me, what do you like about Gunner?”
“Well,” I started and then smiled softly. “He’s patient, and even when I think I’ve made him mad, he just takes a deep breath and talks to me.”
Becs eyes saddened, and I knew she was thinking about my time with Snake.
“He’s also sweet.” Becs cocked an eyebrow, and I laughed. “To me, at least. But most of all, I like how I feel around him.”
“How’s that?”
“I feel safe and protected, but I also feel strong. He says things to me, like he believes in me, and he says I’m smart. He even called me a survivor. He makes me believe it too, somehow.” I smiled, thinking about our time driving. “He doesn’t let me feel scared to try something. He just waits until I’m ready.”
“It probably doesn’t hurt that he’s so hot either.” Becs shoved me, and I giggled. “Come on, tell me I’m right.”
“You’re right,” I admitted and then lowered my voice even though there was no way anyone could hear us talking over all the noise downstairs. “He kissed me.”
Her eyes widened comically, and she squealed, making me laugh. “What did you do?”
I felt a blush work its way up my neck. “I kissed him back.”
“And? What did you feel?”
“Well, my stomach was jumping all around, and I felt dizzy, but mostly, I just didn’t want him to stop.” She clapped her hands together before pulling in me in for a hug. I hugged her back, surprised. “What?”
“Maggie, you’re falling for him.” She grinned and winked. “Maybe we should have the sex talk so you know what to expect.”
My eyes widened, but suddenly, I wanted to have that talk. I knew from therapy with Lisa that what I had with Snake was wrong mainly because it was never really consensual, but also because I didn’t have feelings for Snake. I had no idea what to expect if I had sex with a man that I wanted and had feelings for.
I nodded once. “Maybe we should.”
I giggled when she wiggled her eyebrows and realized this was what friends did. They talked. They listened. They helped each other. I had no idea how much I missed having a friend before Becs.
After all, how could I have missed something I never had?
CHAPTER NINETEEN
GUNNER
“Son.” His voice slid over my skin and made my stomach turn. “Been a long time.”
“Not long enough.” I fired back. The hate in both of our voices was evident. Needing time to get my emotions in check, I’d waited to call him but only until the next morning. After Maggie left the office, we hashed out a new plan. I would call my father and feel him out even though I was more than certain he was either hiding Snake or knew where he was and then offer up a trade. More than anything, we needed more information to get Snake and the club right where we wanted them.
He chuckled. “I figured I might hear from you.”
“Yeah, why’s that?” I asked, already knowing the answer but wanting him to admit it, wanting him to be the bastard I knew him to be.
“I have something you want, and you have something I want.” He paused before continuing. “Way I figure, it’s time for a trade.”
“Snake know you set him up?”
“Boy, you know me better than that.” He grunted. “Besides, he’d do it if he did know. He understands loyalty to his club and his brothers.”
Direct hit; I expected no less. “He’s either stupid or doesn’t know who he’s being loyal to.”
“Can’t be all that stupid now, can he? He’s got you chasing him.”
“How is his shit any of your business?” I asked snidely.
“Everything that happens in this club is my business. Something you must’ve forgotten since you fucked over your brothers and family.”
I snorted. “How’s what I did any different than what you’re doing right now? You just set up Snake to get what you want. I set you up to get what I wanted.”
“Guess we’re more alike than you ever wanted.” Another direct hit. “The only difference is what I’m doing protects the club. You’re doing this shit because of some bitch.”
I clenched my jaw hard and held my tongue, knowing he wanted a rise out of me and refusing to give it to him. Maggie. I fucking knew it. “This has nothing to do with a woman.”
He chuckled. “Ahh, son, you underestimate me. I know you want that bitch; I’ve known you’ve wanted her for a long time. Problem is, she don’t belong to you. She’s Snake’s property. I also know you’ve been hiding her sweet ass in that joke of a clubhouse. A clubhouse filled with nothing but pussies and wannabes.”
I should’ve never doubted how closely he was watching me, should’ve never underestimated his hate for me, but at least now I was sure he had Snake. That information would eliminate the search Luke was planning in order to find him. We had a location, and if I played my cards right, I might get him back to North Carolina so I could have a little time with him before I handed him over to Luke. His sins against Maggie needed to be handled by me, and I had every intention of making that happen. “My club is none of your business.” I couldn’t talk about Maggie with him, knowing there was no way I’d stay rational if I did.
“Your club isn’t a real club, boy.” He grunted. “It’s a shame you got your bitch of a mother in you; otherwise, you’d have made one hell of a Widow. You and Bear together running a real club would’ve been a real asset. Never thought I was raising a pussy, especially after seeing you shoot a gun for the first time. Christ, you were only eight years old and shooting better than most of the men in the goddamn club. What a waste to throw that away.”
