Into The Woods (Dark Fairy tales), page 22
The elevator doors opened, and Sutton instantly wished she’d opted for the stairs. She gave Jarvis a slight smile as she strolled into the elevator car. “Garage,” Sutton murmured, keeping her eyes straight ahead. Jarvis complied, not saying a word or making eye contact.
Sutton couldn’t help but feel guilty for using her friend to prove a point to people who, in the long run, really meant nothing to her. Not to mention the trouble she caused between him and Maddox. Sutton quickly glanced over to Jarvis, who was still staring straight ahead. She knew she had to say something. There was no way that she could keep their relationship at an awkward stand-still.
“I’m sorry,” Sutton whispered.
“Me too,” Jarvis replied, not taking his eyes from the elevator door.
Sutton moved in closer to Jarvis and looked into his stoic face. “You’re my friend, and I don’t want to have this between us. I know I threw you to the wolves, but I’m sorry and I really want to…can we please just put this behind us?”
Jarvis turned and looked at a sad Sutton. “I’m cool, Sut. I know what it’s like to be in the room with those assholes and feel as if you don’t have a way out. Just don’t put yourself or me in that situation again.”
Sutton smiled at the relenting of her friend’s anger. “I promise. I learned my lesson.”
“Oh, and thanks for telling my boss that I fucked his girlfriend. That really helped the situation.” Jarvis eyed Sutton, as a grimace crossed his face.
“I’m sorry about that, too. I heard him yelling at you. I hope there wasn’t too much trouble.”
“No, he just yelled about something I didn’t do at work, even though I know did it. Then I spent the weekend working, which made me miss my mother’s birthday. So again, thanks.”
“I didn’t mean to get you in trouble, Jarvis. I just didn’t want him to find out about us from someone else. Again, I’m sorry.”
“We’re cool, Sut.” A sardonic smile washed over his face. “So, who rode your ass tonight?”
“What?”
“You have the ‘I just got fucked really hard’ walk going. I’ve given a few woman that strut before.”
“You are so full of yourself,” Sutton laughed.
“No, baby, it’s called confidence. So, who was the lucky guy?” Jarvis asked, as he and Sutton filed off the elevator and into the dark garage.
“Hayden,” Sutton said, her eyes hitting the floor as she and Jarvis walked to her car.
“I heard he has a very big…ego,” Jarvis chuckled, as Sutton gave him a punch in the arm. “Although, I doubt his ego is anywhere near as big as mine.”
“You have an obsession with your dick.”
“Me and several women. So…how do you feel?”
Sutton stopped at her car and looked at a curious Jarvis. “I’m a little sore. He likes to change positions a lot, and I’m not that limber.”
“No, how do you feel?” Jarvis placed his hand over Sutton’s heart. “How does Sutton feel?”
“To be honest, I feel fine. I thought I would feel…guilty or wrong about it, but I don’t. The sex was good, and afterward I didn’t feel anything. I guess it’s because I have no feelings for him. To me he’s just another guy in the crowd. There are those you fuck and those you make love to, remember? However, I do… never mind.”
“What?”
“I can’t shake this tiny little nagging feeling. Just this feeling that this is too much, and I don’t know what I’m getting myself into. But I guess it’s nothing.”
“That feeling is your conscience.” Jarvis’ face twisted in sadness, as he looked into Sutton’s inquisitive eyes. “ Enjoy that feeling, because it won’t last long, and once it’s gone…it’s gone forever. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jarvis gave Sutton a kiss on the cheek, then headed to the other side of the parking garage.
As Sutton drove home she wondered if Jarvis was right. Was her conscience trying to warn her of impending doom? Was it a warning of what would happen when she no longer had the feeling that this was wrong? Would she one day become a cold and callous person, who thought of sex as nothing more than as a business transaction?
Sutton pushed the thoughts out of her head. There was no way that that could ever happen, she thought, as she turned up her radio. The music did little to push out the thoughts that were racing through her head. Was this job going to turn her into a person she didn’t know? A person she would hate? Sutton decided then and there not to let it happen. If she could play the game like Jarvis, then she would be okay. The job, The Woods, the life would not take who she was. Sutton repeated this all the way home, trying her best to believe her own words. Trying her best to put to memory the mantra of a still-innocent girl.
***
Sutton sat anxiously in Maddox’s living room. She didn’t know why he wanted to see her, but he’d made it clear that it was of an urgent nature. She wasn’t sure if Maddox knew that she not only decided to not stop going to The Woods, but that she also had her first real encounter. Sutton looked into her lover’s studying eyes. She hated the way he silently studied her, as if he was reading all of her secrets through her eyes. Sutton knew it was just the guilt of lying and cheating that made her feel so transparent. At least that was what she was hoping.
“How was your day?” Maddox asked, breaking the intense silence between them.
“Fine, and yours?”
“Long, but fine for the most part.” Maddox stretched slightly as he reclined against the couch. “I haven’t seen you in a few days. I was starting to worry.”
Sutton let out a small, guilty smile, not knowing how to tell him that he hadn’t seen her because she was sleeping with other people. “I’ve been busy?”
“Oh? Doing what?”
Sutton looked to the ground in an effort to hide her guilty eyes. “Work. I have a new job.”
“A new job? What’s the job?”
“It’s nothing glamorous. It’s just cleaning offices at night.” Sutton took a second to process the lie. She was surprised how effortlessly it fell from her lips.
Maddox studied Sutton for a second, before smiling. “It’s only temporary. You’ll be done with school in a few months, and you are sure to find a great job. There is nothing wrong with honest work.”
Sutton felt her stomach knot as she nodded her head in agreement. There wasn’t anything wrong with honest work. There certainly was nothing wrong with cleaning office buildings, given that was what her grandfather’s janitorial business did for years, until he died and left it to her uncle. However, she wasn’t doing anything close to honest work.
Sutton looked at Maddox and his encouraging smile. Her heart hurt knowing that he believed her lie. That, much like her grandmother, he had now become nothing more than another person she lied to in an effort to shield their hearts from her misdeeds. She knew it was wrong to mislead him, but she really didn’t want to start a fight
Sutton felt her nagging feeling intensify. The feeling that Jarvis told her would one day disappear, once she truly accepted The Woods and all that lay within. The feeling that told her she still had a conscience. There was a mix of joy and sadness as she clutched her stomach. The joy was that she still felt something, which told her she wasn’t completely callous to the situation, but there was sadness knowing that there were only two ways to get rid of the feeling: fuck it away, or confess to Maddox and walk away from The Woods. She didn’t know why, but walking away seemed to be a harder choice than fucking it away.
Sutton took in a deep breath, knowing that Maddox deserved more than lies. She had to tell him. “Maddox, I need to tell you something.”
“Oh, what’s that?”
Sutton closed her eyes and tried to summon up as much courage as she could. “It’s about The Woods.”
“I know. That’s the reason I wanted you to come tonight. I wanted to talk about The Woods, too.”
“What about?” Sutton asked nervously.
Maddox took Sutton’s hand into his, “I want you to know I am very happy that you chose me over going back to The Woods. It truly meant a lot to me.”
Sutton felt the knot in her stomach turn to a cramping pain. Why is he making this so hard, she wondered, as she tried to get her thoughts together. “Maddox, I’m happy that you’re happy, but…”
“I want to show you that I appreciate you.” Maddox rose from his seat and walked over to the fireplace. Hitting the switch on the wall, the gas fireplace came to a glowing roar. He looked at Sutton before pulling out his access card. “I want you to know that I will not be returning to The Woods, either,” Maddox proclaimed, as he tossed the silver card into the fire.
Sutton walked over to Maddox, “You didn’t have to do that, Maddox.”
“I did it to show you that I’m serious. I can’t ask you not to go while I do the opposite. Besides, I really have no reason to return.”
“Why is that?”
Maddox pulled Sutton into his arms placing a delicate kiss on her lips. “Because I have you. There is no need to have random sex, when I have you.”
The confession made Sutton light up inside. The thought that Fiona and Charlotte were wrong rang through her head. Maddox was her man. All he needed was for her to take the first step. Sutton suddenly felt nauseous. She hadn’t taken the first step, and here was Maddox giving her all that she wanted. The idea that her lie was turning into a monster made her feel disgusting.
“Maddox, what if I didn’t stop going to The Woods?” Sutton asked, as she moved from his embrace.
“What do you mean?”
“If I didn’t stop going to The Woods, what would you do? Would we no longer be…I don’t even know what we are.”
“We’ve had this discussion, Sutton. We are lovers with…possibility,” Maddox said, a bit of annoyance hanging onto his words.
“Possibility? What does that mean?”
Maddox narrowed the space between them. “It means I see a future between us. One day I think there could be more.”
“One day?” Sutton felt her face grow hot. “I don’t understand what someday means. I thought that…what about this promise? What about me telling you that I wouldn’t go to The Woods? Did that mean nothing?”
“It meant everything, Sutton, but it still doesn’t change the fact that I want to take things slow.”
“Slow? So you want me to yourself, but you can’t even give what we have a better name than lovers?”
“Why are you pressing the issue, Sutton? Yes, I want more, but right now I don’t even know exactly what we are, yet.”
“But you know that you don’t want me to be in The Woods; that much you know?” Sutton replied snidely.
“No, I don’t want you in The Woods. It’s not a good place to be, and I would prefer you not be there.”
“Do you want me to not be there because we are together, because we are dating, or because you don’t want me fucking anyone else?”
Maddox let out an exasperated huff, “Because you promised after Jarvis you wouldn’t go back.”
“So, it’s because you don’t want me with anyone else.”
“I don’t want you with anyone else. I want you to myself, and I don’t see the problem with that, Sutton. What’s wrong with a man wanting a woman to be with him alone?”
Sutton took in his question as she let her anger fade. “There is nothing wrong with it, Maddox. I just don’t want to be left waiting. I don’t want to feel as if we will never be more than lovers I need more than that.”
Maddox wrapped his arms around Sutton. “And one day I can give you just that. Just be patient with me.”
Sutton looked into Maddox’s eyes and smiled. He was being honest: one day she very well could be that—one day she could be the woman that he wanted and needed. Everything she’d said to Fiona was true. One day she and Maddox would have more. It was just too bad that day was not today, Sutton thought, as she pulled away. She slowly crossed the room, retrieving her purse, then quickly returning to Maddox. She pulled out her access card, studying it for a brief moment.
The conversation with Fiona played through her head. If she was depending on a man, she would constantly be waiting. If she was depending on Maddox, she would die waiting. The fact that he didn’t see anything more than possibility was disheartening. The fact that he couldn’t even say we’re dating was crushing. The fact that Fiona was right was terrifying. Yet Sutton couldn’t let go of the small glimmer of hope. That glimmer that said “there might be hope for us,” even though she knew the odds were not in their favor.
“Then I’ll be patient,” Sutton said, as she tossed her purple access card into the fire.
“Thank you.” Maddox kissed Sutton’s lips before pulling her into a strong hug. “Would you like to have dinner? I can have Curtis make us something?”
Sutton pulled away and smiled at her boyfriend. “I’m sorry, I have to work, but Saturday I will be all yours.”
“Sounds great,” Maddox said, as he walked Sutton to the door. “So, have you given yourself a time frame?”
“Time frame?” Sutton asked, as she opened the door to leave.
“To save and move out of Charlotte’s.”
“It’s going to be a few weeks. After all, I’m new and I have to get a few good paychecks going. Not to mention I have to figure out how to pay for next semester, now that my grandmother isn’t footing the bill.”
“I’ll pay for school,” Maddox offered pulling Sutton into his arms.
“No, I could never ask my…lover to do that.” Sutton placed a kiss on Maddox’s cheek. “I’ll see you later,” she said, as she began to leave.
“Why do I get the feeling you’re mad at me?”
Sutton turned and gave Maddox a smile. “I’m not mad. You made it very clear what you wanted, and I understand that. I get it. Let’s just say this talk has made things very easy for me. I’ll see you later, baby.”
Sutton got into her car and let a few tears fall down her face. She vigorously wiped them away and focused on the road. There was no reason to cry when she’d been warned. When everyone told her that it didn’t matter if she gave up The Woods, that he would still be indecisive about their relationship, she didn’t listen. Somewhere in her heart she’d been hoping he was still just mulling it over, before deciding that she was all he wanted. Yet, Sutton knew that the word “possibility” really meant “I don’t know and probably never will.”
She pulled her car into the parking garage of The Woods. It was a little early, but the idea of sitting home for a few hours going over the argument was not something she was looking forward to. Sutton pulled her dress out of her trunk and made her way to the elevator. The feeling of guilt was now replaced with slight anger, and in some ways, indifference. If Maddox only saw her as a lover, then that was exactly what she would see him as.
Sutton pulled her gold access card from her wallet and swiped it, bringing the staff elevator into motion. There were two good things that came from her talk with Maddox. One, she now didn’t have to worry about making up reasons she couldn’t be with him. He thought she was working, and he’d thrown his card into the fire, promising that he would never go back. This made it much easier for her to work and not have to worry about Maddox.
Then there was their conversation. As painful as it was to hear that she was, and probably would always be, just a lover helped her overcome some major hang-ups she had about taking the job. As long as she was nothing more than a possibility, nothing more than a lover, he would be the very same. And seeing that he was nothing more than just one of many, she saw no reason not to work at The Woods. Maddox wasn’t offering her anything, and she still needed money. Sutton felt a bit of Charlotte run through her veins. There was no need to go broke waiting for a man who probably didn’t want her. Until he figured out what he wanted, she would go for what she wanted.
Sutton walked off the elevator and into the private female staff quarters. The room resembled a sleek locker room, with its white walls and furniture. Each woman had her own storage area. There were also showers, and a makeup and hair station. Sutton pulled on her dress and heels, then fluffed her curls. A quick reapplication of lipstick and she was ready.
She locked up her things, grabbed her card, and made her way back to the elevator. Sutton made a vow, then and there, to not let Maddox ruin her time at The Woods. While she was at work, he would be nothing more than a distant thought. Until she was officially more than just his lover, his feelings about her and The Woods didn’t matter.
A wave of excitement hit Sutton as she put her card into the elevator slot and hit the number five. As soon as the car was in motion she could feel her heart leap. This would be her first time in the Platinum lounge. The sense of pride and excitement felt a little overwhelming. The car came to a stop, and Sutton walked out onto the floor.
