Heavy is the Crown: A Gothic Grove Novel, page 12
“Funny, how despite being a dragon with flame affinity, you still turn pink under water.”
I don’t turn to face Drago, just keep my focus on the water running down me, shutting my eyes tight against the pull deep within anytime he gets near me.
“I take it you dragged me here last night?” I ask. Even the sound of my own voice, still rough from sleep, makes my head pound.
“Someone had to; that poor girl was working way too hard just to be disappointed in the end,” he says, a quiet laugh following.
I feel him step toward me, and despite there still being distance between us, I feel crowded. Caged in.
“What do you want, Drago?” My voice is barely steady, and I know if he gets any closer, I’ll crumble.
(“Somewhere I Belong” – Linkin Park)
“You know what I want,” he says in a husky voice, taking another step toward me. Without even turning around, I know he’s at arm's length from my naked body. His scent invades the space around me. Another step, and his hand is a ghost on my back, forcing me to turn and face him. His eyes are glowing, his own dragon shimmering just beneath the surface. His white hair is hanging loose around his face, tiny water droplets collecting on the strands. His eyes are hungry, and I know if I were to look down, I would see his hard cock jutting out from his tattooed body.
“I’m tired,” I whisper, the confession slipping past my lips before I can hold it back. The truth is, I’m exhausted. Fighting for so long, holding this anger for so long, has leeched all my energy. I don’t know if I’ll survive much longer. Maybe, had I not been forced to live with them for this long, I could have limped through life as I was, but fighting the overwhelming urge to mate has taken what small reserve of energy I had. I’m barely eating, I think the only reason I still have muscle on my body is from my dragon. Sleep exists only from drugs or alcohol. The ghosts of the past don’t haunt a house, they haunt me. Follow me.
His eyes flash to something I can’t place, but he pulls my head into his, bringing our foreheads to touch. The feeling of him instantly calms me. My breath loosens and my chest relaxes, as if this is the first time I can actually breathe. A shudder escapes me. I allow myself to soak it in, just for now, allow myself to rest against him.
“So let us help. Let us take some of this. You don’t have to keep fighting this alone, rakkaani,” he says. “Aren’t you tired of running?” I shudder as he grabs my hips, pulling my body into his. My dragon hums out in approval as he holds me, not a single part of my body free of his touch.
Take the help, my dragon growls.
A tear slips from my eye, followed by another, until I’m sobbing and he’s holding me tightly. I feel my legs give out, and I drop to the black tile of the shower floor. Drago follows me down, offering soothing noises and promises that he shouldn’t be making. My soul cracks open and a tidal wave of regret and fear and shame pushes through as I break apart in his arms. All the things I’ve held back, kept with my dragon in its cage, swirl around me.
I’m worthless. And weak. And I’m not worth the worry they keep putting on me.
“Shut up, shut up!” I yell at those inner voices. “Leave me the fuck alone!” Viciously, I clutch at my own arms, raking my hands down my skin, desperate to dig out the demons. Drago pulls at my arms, banding himself around my massive body, until I’m in his lap with my back pressed to his chest. Small droplets of blood start to appear on my arms, where my claws must have come through. Even the sight of something normally soothing doesn't make me feel any better.
“Rakkaani, you aren’t what those voices say. It’s not your fault. None of it is your fault, or your dragon's,” Drago says over my begging for those voices to leave me alone. I desperately want to believe him, but years of listening to those demons can’t just be undone in a single moment. I can feel my breath quickening, feel my pulse rapidly beating out of control, and panic sets in again. I can’t lose control. Losing control means hurting the people I love. And I can’t hurt anyone else.
Drago must notice because I feel his lips press to my neck, his nose dragging up as he breathes me in. His hands, having kept me from hurting myself, start to loosen and he traces my tattoo lines up my arms, smearing the blood I drew as he goes. At some point, his touch moves from soothing to erotic. I feel his cock harden against my back, and I let out a moan. He lets a hand move up and grip my dark hair before pulling my head back so he can have better access to my neck.
“Please,” I whimper.
Drago
Hearing Shadow’s broken voice beg me snaps any restraint I was holding onto. The difference between Shadow and myself? I love my dragon. I love when he comes out to play. Like a switch flipping, my dragon surges to the forefront, and I’m no longer in charge. We had two different upbringings. I had the chance to get to know that other part of me, without fear of it being used against me. My mother was many things before she was sold to Shadow’s father, but she wasn’t abusive. She encouraged me to get to know my dragon and taught me that we are an extension of each other. Shadow didn’t have that.
My hand shoots out and grabs his hard cock, drawing a gasp from him as I sweep my thumb over the weeping tip. The shower spray is still falling on us, mist swirling and filling the room, obscuring us from the outside world. As if nothing else matters outside this space, outside of our need for one another.
“What do you need, Shadow? Do you need to come in my mouth? Hmm?” I squeeze him a little harder. “Or do you need me to use you? Fill your ass up until it's dripping out of you?”
“Use me,” he groans. “Please.” The sound of his voice is thick with need as he begs.
I push him forward onto his hands and knees before spreading his cheeks and licking his tight hole. I groan at his taste, my own cock barely under control as I feel those muscles spasm around my tongue. Time loses all meaning as I indulge in my favorite meal.
“Oh, fuck. Please. Just like that, don’t stop. Please don’t stop,” Shadow begs me as I keep licking him, my hands tight on his hips.
I pull off and ask, “You want my cock?” before working my finger into his tight channel, my spit easing the passage, and he bucks forward, a long moan sounding off in the room. I pump in and out before adding another one, scissoring them as I work his hole open.
“Fuck me. Please, I need to feel you.”
A wicked smile spreads over my face as I reach up and grab the coconut oil I keep in the shower. Palming a generous amount, I coat my dick with it first before sliding my fingers inside of him again. When I’m certain he’s well covered, I notch my dick to his entrance and slowly push. The head of my dick barely fits, his muscles first tightening up at the intrusion. A loud crack echoes through the room as my hand finds his ass. “Relax,” I hiss. “Take me like a good boy, just like I know you can.” His body shudders under my touch as I keep pushing in. A whimpering mixture of pain and pleasure echoes out of him. A satisfying noise that makes my cock harden even more. "Tell me, Shadow, have you missed my cock? Missed my Jacob's ladder?”
“Yes. Oh, God, I’ve missed it so much,” he cries out, panting in desperation. I smile fiendishly as I watch in utter fascination as one, two, three, four barbells push into him until I’m fully seated. I pause to take a moment to breathe, to keep in control and not lose it all at the feel of him.
“Fuck,” he breathes out. “Oh, my God. You feel so fucking good.”
Slowly, I pull out and push back in. With each thrust, I feel the resistance give way a little more until I’m certain he’s ready. “I’m going to fuck you now, rakkaani, I’m going to pump you so full of my come that it will be dripping out of you all day. And then I’m going to claim you because I’m fucking tired of this bullshit.” He squirms under me, but I grab his hips and pick up my pace until the shower is filled with the sounds of my balls slapping him and our combined groans. “And you will not be coming until I say you can, do you understand?”
Shadow lets out a long moan as I continue the relentless pace but doesn’t say anything. “Answer me,” I demand as I dig my hands into his hips so hard, I know it will leave bruising from my fingers.
“Yes. Fuck, yes, I understand.” He pushes back into me, trying to get me deeper into him. “Bite me. Breed me. Making me fucking bleed, God. Just don’t fucking stop. I’m yours.”
I nip at his shoulder. “Good. Because you might be calling for God now, but in the end, it's going to by my name you scream.” I lean closer to his ear, allowing my dragon to show through my voice. The rasp takes on an animalistic quality. “And if I ever find your cock is in a mouth that’s not my own or Ava’s, I’ll rip their throat out and fuck you on top of their bloody corpse to remind you who you belong to.”
“Yes. I’m yours. I’m yours. Take me, Drago, please, please, please,” he begs. I thrust forward, my hips hitting his wet skin. The shower is still pouring over us in a cascade of heat.
“That’s it. Fuck, you take me so fucking good,” I moan. “I wish you could see how well my cock looks slipping into you.” The visual is intoxicating as I watch myself disappear in and out of him. My claws extend out, and I trace them down his back. Blood pools in the marks I leave, before I lean down and lick it up. He spasms around me, a long shout leaving his mouth as he sinks deeper into the pain and pleasure I’m giving him.
He's lost in whimpers as I pump in and out. Giving himself fully to me, he holds perfectly still while I fuck myself into his body, the sounds of our exchange drowning in the shower.
When his body starts to push back into me, I know he’s barely holding onto himself. “You sound so sweet. Do you want to come for me?” I ask as I keep up the relentless pace I’ve set.
“Fuck, yes, I do. Please let me. Please, Drago. I want to come while you are inside me.” His begging is my undoing.
“Grab your cock and show me how you use it when I’m not here. When you think about your mates. When you think about me fucking your ass while you eat Ava’s pussy.” He lets out a low groan as he grabs his hard dick and begins savagely stroking himself, his other arm holding his body weight. The muscles and veins popping forward make me groan at his beauty.
“Oh, God, I’m going to come! Drago, I can’t stop,” he cries.
“That’s it, baby, let go,” I urge him. I feel the moment he starts pulsing, his ass tightening around me. I grab his hair, yanking him up before digging my teeth into the side of his neck. My own release barrels into me as I taste his blood on my tongue, my dragon pushing forward and out toward him. The connection forms between us as the last few ropes of my own release spill into him.
Mate.
The word pulses through me, my dragon's deep grumble vibrating out of my chest in pleasure. Like a cat curling around its owner's leg, I can feel him rubbing against Shadow’s savage dragon.
For a moment, there is absolute peace in our joining. Both dragons are content and happy. Shadow's own emotions pulse down the bond, an atypical array of calm feelings. It overtakes me in a cascade of warmth.
At least until the spell breaks.
And the feeling of happiness coming from him begins turning sour.
“You don’t know what you’ve done. This was a mistake,” he cries, his voice broken. His admission cuts me in half, and it takes everything in me not to show the pain he’s causing. He scrambles away from me, out of the mist of the hot shower, pulling himself off my cock. His back still covered in my scratches and my come still leaking from him, his broken form grips the counter tightly.
Leaving the shower and grabbing a towel, I cross my arms. “You're mine. Just like Ava is.” His panic claws at my freshly made bond. I can tell his own dragon simmers beneath his skin, calling out to bite me, to complete the bond. “It’s not your fault she died.”
The moment the words leave my mouth, he whirls on me, his eyes flashing a brilliant gold. “Don’t you fucking talk about her, you don’t know what you're saying.” His body vibrates with the strain of holding himself back.
My heart aches, my chest cleaved in two, as I feel him slipping further and further away, so I do the only thing I can think of and bare the side of my neck to him. “Please,” I say.
His eyes widen. This might be the first time he’s ever heard me say please. And only the second time I’ve submitted to him, since that first time in his bedroom all those years ago. I stay still as he makes his decision.
“Ava?” he whispers. His cracking voice is gutting me.
“She’s fine with this. It’ll be easier if we are together first. My dragon will help yours.” I know him well enough to know he’s terrified of hurting her, and I know Ava well enough to say she won’t give a shit that we bonded first. She might care that she missed watching it, but she’ll understand. “Please, rakkaani.”
He takes a step toward me, and another, his teeth elongating and his eyes golden. I close my eyes in anticipation, but instead of his teeth meeting my neck, he shoves past me, fleeing the room like a Hellbeast has given chase. I hear the door slam from the bedroom, the sound breaking me. My fist lashes out into the mirror. The glass shatters around me, a visual representation of how my chest feels right now after watching my mate reject me.
SIXTEEN
While our power is great, it would be wise to align with The Order. They can give us access to unimaginable power. With Kara’s son, we have an in.
– Mori Family Grimoire
Ava
(“Lovely” – Tommee Profitt and Fleurie)
I grimace as the haze of sleep slowly departs my brain. My mouth is sticky and dry from crawling into bed so late. And maybe from having a little too much to drink after Ciaran had left with Kallen and her men. Seeing her had driven my anxiety to new heights, made the vision feel that much more real. After I had gotten good and fucked up, I had attempted to sleep it off in my own home below the club, but Drago had returned for me and dragged me back here. To the place that provides relief to my anxious mind but also spurs it forward. The dichotomy of it is exhausting.
I reach out to the side and find the bed already cool. The bathroom door is ajar, and I can hear the shower running. I move to stand up, then halt as I hear the low moans of two unmistakable voices echoing out of the bathroom. Shadow and Drago. I smile to myself and lie back, stretching out my body as the noises send jolts of arousal through me, straight to my core. It’s a nice way to cover up the stiffness that has seeped into my joints and the tightness of my muscles. My body has not recovered from helping Astrea and Ciaran, not that I would tell Drago that. Or Shadow, if he actually stuck around long enough for us to talk.
My magic, while powerful, is weakening the longer I go without replenishing it. Not for the first time, I send out a curse to my ancestors. Sure, I could maybe find someone who could perform a ceremony, but the likelihood that there is a priestess here in Gothic Grove is small. If I went home, I could try to convince someone to help me and not tell my family, but the risk is too great. The priestesses aren’t particularly loyal to the royal family, per se, but I don’t think they would harbor the lost princess.
Mating is my best option. The least dangerous and only long-term solution, if I could just get Shadow to be willing. With the future barreling toward us like a train, I can’t help but wonder if we will survive this. Everyone talks about wanting to see the future, but no one understands the implications of it. It’s not as if I’m watching a movie play out in my mind; it’s fragmented pieces of a timeline that may or may not come to pass. Like looking at yourself through shards of a broken mirror, everything changes depending on the way you look at it.
The bathroom door slams open, and I startle fully upward to see Shadow storm out. His scent washes over me as he flees, pausing only to grab his pants and a shirt before he exits the room. For a moment, I debate on going after him, but the shattering of glass in the bathroom has me vaulting out of bed and running toward the sound, away from the retreating form of my other mate.
Entering the space, I see Drago’s half-naked body silhouetted by the lights as he braces himself against his dark countertop, his white hair a curtain around his face. He leans over the sink, blood dripping from the knuckles of his raised fist into the basin. Pieces of the now shattered mirror are scattered over the black tile in the steam-filled bathroom, the scent of sex heavy in the air.
“Do you want to talk about it?” When he turns to look at me, I see his eyes flash gold, pain evident on his face, before he schools his features. My own chest pulls tight, and I know sadness flares over my face as I fully take in his form.
Dried on Drago’s lips is blood.
“Oh, Drago,” I say quietly and move over, careful to avoid cutting my bare feet on the sprinkled glass, and wrap my arms around his massive body.
He lets out a long sigh and wraps his uninjured arm around me, pulling me closer. “I shouldn’t have done it; I knew he wasn’t ready. I knew he was saying yes to sex, not mating.” My heart breaks even more when I hear the pain woven into his voice. “He needed to escape, and I took advantage of the moment.”
I peer up into his eyes, the blue swimming with emotion, and take his face in my hands. “You didn’t take advantage of anyone. He wanted you. And like it or not, the bond will help him. He’s just too stubborn to realize it,” I say gently. My heart warms at the idea of their bond, the bond that will keep them tethered.
He grabs me around the waist, hoisting me onto the counter as he turns on the faucet to start washing his cut hand. While the wounds are already healing, he still takes care to pull the glass from them and wash the blood away. For a moment, I’m mesmerized by the ripped flesh of his knuckles, the ghost of my vision pulling at me. I shake it off and focus on the red washing down the drain to ground myself back into the present. You don’t know how this will end; you don’t have the full picture. Panicking isn’t helping. You saw a future, not the only one. We might all make it through this.
