“Mine’s... Oh? I seem to have drawn Houki.” Opening up the bag it was in, she pulled out a red and white bundle of fabric—the clothing of a shrine maiden. “So this is sort of a Japanese nun’s habit?”

  “Kind of.”

  “It’s a shame they didn’t make it blue and white instead.”

  “What are you talking about?! Don’t you understand anything about wabi-sabi?”

  As they squabbled, Charl drew a slip of paper from the box.

  “A uniform? This must be...”

  “That’s right. The uniform of the Schwarze Hasen. You must be glad you drew that, right?” Laura beamed with pride as Charl’s eyes widened into saucers.

  “I’m not sure if this will fit...”

  I could almost hear the sound of something snapping.

  “Charlotte, you’ve been a good friend. But now, you have to die.”

  “What?!”

  “I won’t forgive that.”

  Snapping her head to the side, Laura drew her own outfit.

  “A princess knight? What’s that? Princesses and knights are different things.”

  As Laura stared in confusion at the miniskirt-and-breastplate ensemble, Kanzashi’s eyes lit up.

  “A princess knight is almost like a valkyrie! Like Chifuyu is nowadays, Brynhildr herself!”

  “Wh-What?!”

  “Gallant, graceful, beautiful, and invincible.”

  “I see! It’s perfect for me, then! I’ll wear it!”

  Kanzashi did her best to keep up her smile as Laura nodded enthusiastically, then opened up the outfit she’d be wearing.

  “Is this yours, Charlotte?”

  “Yeah! It’s my kitty pajamas.”

  “...Clever.”

  “Huh?”

  “Clever. As I’d expect from a Frenchwoman. But maybe a bit too clever?”

  “Huh?” Charl was visibly confused by Kanzashi’s frustration.

  Anyway, everyone had drawn what they were going to wear. Which left only the changing to be done...

  “All right! Get behind the curtains, and get ready to strip!” Tatenashi was really enjoying herself. What was I gonna do?

  ◇

  This is my chance to show Ichika I can look stunning in absolutely anything! Feast your eyes upon Cecilia Alcott as a shrine maiden! Cecilia nimbly dipped inside the curtain, and spread out the outfit she was to change into. But suddenly, just as she slipped her fingers under the waistband of her bloomers to pull them off, the shrine maiden’s outfit was pulled back out and the curtain was raised.

  “......?!”

  “Hold on, Cecilia! Don’t leave me behind! We’re supposed to do this as a team.” It was her partner, Kagami Nagi.

  “I know, I know! Just let that back down!” Cecilia shouted as she embarrassedly pulled her bloomers back up.

  “Sorry, sorry.”

  Cecilia had always thought that, although Nagi had always been friendly and helpful, she lacked a certain amount of feminine grace.

  “Ahem. Now, if you could help me with this...”

  “Okay!” Nagi began to pull Cecilia’s clothes off. Her breasts bounced under her lacy bra.

  “Eeek! Nagi, have you gone mad?!”

  “Huh? Aren’t you in a hurry? Sarashiki’s barely got anything to put on.”

  “That’s not the problem! Nagi, do you have no shame?!”

  “Aww...” Nagi momentarily made a shocked face. “Wait, did you think I actually meant that? Take it off, take it all off!”

  “Eeek! Ichika, save me!” Within the narrow confines of the curtain, the two struggled. The backlight made it very clear to everyone, including Ichika, what was going on.

  “What the hell is Cecilia up to?” Ling sighed as if she had a headache. She was already down to her underwear and ready to go.

  “Tina, do you know how to put on a dress?”

  “Ling, do you know how to put on a dress?”

  “Huh?” Ling and Tina looked up in unison.

  “N-No way!” Ling shook her head from side to side.

  “Really, you don’t?”

  “What’re you so surprised about?! How often do we wear something like this, anyway?”

  “You’re no help at all, Tina!”

  “What about you, Ling?! You’re really gonna tell me you don’t even know how to put a dress on?!” Even as they fought, they began to get a handle on what they needed to do.

  “Okay, I need to get my torso in first... Tina, can you hold this up for me?”

  “Okay, but you know the chest’s gonna fall straight down to your waist, right?”

  “...Do you want to die?” As Ling’s eyes gleamed, Tina broke out in a cold sweat. While the odd couple squabbled, Houki tried to fit herself into the cheongsam.

  “I can’t get my chest in...” Ling glared at her, but she paid no heed. The mini-cheongsam simply didn’t fit. Even the skirt part didn’t so much as hang low enough to cover her panties. And up top, it was impossible to button. “Am I going to have to run this half-naked?!”

  “I certainly hope not.” Kaguya pulled as hard as she could, trying to stuff Houki into the dress.

  “Ow, that hurts! I can’t breathe!”

  “Try to live with it... Here goes.”

  As she tried to get it up over Houki’s chest, the sound neither of them wanted to hear filled their ears. Rrrrrip.

  “What was that sound?”

  “.........”

  “Why aren’t you saying anything, Kagura?!”

  “You’re going to have to run like this.”

  “What?!” Kagura brusquely shoved Houki out of the curtain while she was still confused by her sudden insistence. “Hey! Hey, wait! They can see everything!”

  “You’re just going to have to keep them covered yourself.”

  Even as they argued, other teams were already starting the race.

  “Ugh, whatever!” Houki set off at a run, not even caring anymore. But the faster she went, the more her hemline hiked up and her bustline was pushed down. “Ugh, this is so humiliating...”

  She could hear the whistles and laughs, but the last thing she wanted to do was listen.

  “The first obstacle is a vaulting horse! Do your best!” Tatenashi’s announcement rang out at the most accurate, and worst, of times. All of the obstacles were set up to show off as much as possible.

  “Why do you have to be like this, Tatenashi?!” Houki’s hand holding her skirt down clenched into a fist as she glared viciously at the announcer’s stand. But as her eyes crossed with Ichika’s, all she could think of was covering up. “D-Don’t look, Ichika!”

  He jerked his head to the side, pantomiming that he wasn’t, but that only irritated Houki even more.

  “See you later, Houki!” Cecilia raced by her, preparing to leap. It was the first time she’d worn a shrine maiden’s outfit, but she wore it well. “I suppose this is what they mean by ‘the best of both worlds.’”

  Cecilia arrogantly giggled as she braced to jump. But at that very moment, she planted her sandals directly on the hem of her hakama. She flew over the vaulting horse, leaving them behind, her curvaceous butt and fancy designer panties gleaming in the sunlight.

  “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!”

  “And there’s our first wardrobe malfunction! Good job, Cecilia! I can feel it deep in my soul—and if I was wearing as little as you are now, you’d be able to see that!” Cecilia shot the excited Tatenashi a cold glare, but everyone else was enjoying the view, even if they were all girls.

  “That’s the stuff!”

  “I knew the British cadet would put up a fight!”

  “Cecilia’s just too...”

  “Stupid sexy!”

  With tears in her eyes, Cecilia tried to pull the hakama back up, but they were a borrowed pair. She had no idea how to tie them back up. I... I need to do something to cover my behind! Blushing all the way to her ears, she tugged the straps as tight as she could. Her decency restored, she started running again.

  “Um, next is... A balance beam?” This time, it was Houki and Ling, along with Cecilia, who were under pressure.

  To get by this, I...

  I’m gonna need to spread my arms. And if I do...

  They’ll see everything!

  As all three stopped, grimacing, Charlotte blew by.

  “Later!” Charlotte looked great in the dark German uniform. The cap, especially, suited her.

  “What she said.” Kanzashi, never a very fast runner, had been bringing up the rear. But their pause let her claw her way back into second place. Her advantage was simple: how convenient her outfit was. There were absolutely no worries about it slipping off.

  “This is good...” Not that she’d ever let it show. But it was good. “...Hahaha.”

  Kanzashi was cracking up at her own joke. If nothing else, the two sisters shared a sense of humor.

  “Ugh, they’re gonna beat us!”

  “We simply have no choice!”

  “No guts, no glory!”

  Houki, Cecilia, and Ling abandoned their worried about their clothes and clambered up on the balance beam. Their clothes were about to fall off. The whistling was reaching a fever pitch, and their faces were bright red. But at this point, they didn’t care anymore.

  “I need to win this!”

  Victory or death. An emotion the three shared.

  “At this point...”

  “Embarrassment...”

  “Doesn’t even matter!”

  Casting modesty—and the scraps of cloth which provided it—to the wind, they advanced along the balance beam. But just as they felt the relief of commitment, a different wind blew by them.

  “......?!”

  It was the wake of a girl in black plate and a pink battle bikini—Laura.

  “Hahahaha! With an IS, this is like nothing!”

  The sudden screech of a whistle filled the air.

  “Laura is disqualified!”

  A red card. Instant ejection. Not that she didn’t deserve it. But Laura couldn’t hold back her frustration.

  “Verpiss dich! You make me dress up like this, and then disqualify me?! I’ll blow you all away!” The dull click of Laura’s revolver cannon echoed through the field as she fixed her aim. Her embarrassment had driven her mad. “Raus hierrrrr!”

  Boom! Just as Laura was about to fire, a supersonic shot struck her cannon.

  “Wh—?!”

  “Now, now, Bodewig. We aren’t forgetting the rules, are we?” The calm, soft voice was Ms. Yamada’s, and the shot was from the IS Rafale Revive. IS Academy teachers earned their pay.

  “Mein Liebe!” Laura was swallowed in an explosion, leaving behind only a villain’s dying scream.

  And thus concluded the costume change race. In the end, there was no winner.

  ◇

  “Um...”

  The wind rushed by me. It felt different from normal.

  “So, Ichika, how’s the view from fifty meters?” Tatenashi asked over an open channel.

  “Um. Could you explain what’s going on?” I’d drifted off after eating a snack bun she’d brought me, and when I came to I was floating at the peak of IS Academy’s Central Tower, suspended from a bundle of balloons. “What the hell is this supposed to be?!”

  “A balloon fight, duh.”

  “Don’t make faces at me like you’re surprised I’m asking! What do you mean “fight?” When? Where? Between who?!” My shouts were carried off by the wind. What even was this? What was going on?!

  “What a silly question, Ichika!” Houki’s Akatsubaki soared into the air, twin blades drawn.

  “Right here, right now!” Cecilia’s Blue Tears aimed its sniper rifle.

  “We’re gonna settle this for good!” Rin’s Shenlong switched into combat mode as she brandished her scimitar.

  “Ichika, you know French girls don’t take ‘no’ for an answer, right?” Charlotte pumped her shotgun as her Rafale Revive Custom II’s loadout materialized.

  “You’re mine now!” Laura’s Schwarzer Regen wrapped around her, a replacement revolver cannon mounted.

  “I won’t lose.” Kanzashi’s Uchigane Nishiki danced through the air, missiles armed and ready to launch.

  All six IS were hovering around me in a circle. What the hell are they gonna do?! It looked like they were all aiming at me. Were they going to kill me? Was this my time? What the hell!

  “I can’t die yet— Byakushiki!”

  “...Huh?” I couldn’t hide my look of shock at not being able to sense any response from Byakushiki.

  “Ichikaaaa, we kinda pulled the plug on that.” Tatenashi waved up from ground level. I could feel an evil eye boring into my soul. As I watched, still in shock, the six surrounding me readied their weapons.

  “Prepare yourself, Ichika!”

  “Your head is mine!”

  “It’s time to pay the piper!”

  “Ichika. Remember, it matters not how a man lived, but how he dies.”

  “You’re my bride!”

  “Ichika, you’re mine...”

  All I could do was let out a strained laugh. Meanwhile, Tatenashi continued her explanation, “And in the final competition, the balloon fight, all six team leaders will be popping the balloons which hold Ichika up while battling to be the one to catch him when he falls! The winner of this round gets a hundred million points!”

  100,000,000 points... What even was the point of the other rounds, then?

  “Are you sure you’re not confusing this with the ball pop from before?!”

  “C’monnnnn. Who cares about the details? Don’t you have any appreciation for the finer things in life?”

  I, uh. I thought maybe I’d appreciate them more from ground level.

  “Aaaaand... Begin!”

  “Wa—” My scream was drowned out by the roar of Charl’s shotgun.

  Pah! Pah! Pah! A line of balloons popped around me.

  “Whoa!” I suddenly dipped toward the ground. “I’m gonna die! You’re gonna kill me! If I fall that fast I’m definitely gonna die!”

  Houki’s katana whipped through the air, taking out a balloon that was right beside my head.

  “Chestooooooooo!”

  I was barely spared an impromptu haircut, but many more of the balloons holding me up weren’t so lucky.

  “Look, Ichika! Have you ever seen Houki smile like that?”

  “Out of my way, Houki! Impact cannon, fire!”

  I really wouldn’t mind if you sat this one out, Ri—

  Blam! Blam! Blam! Three shots rang out, popping a swath of balloons and sending me plunging even lower.

  “Whooooa!” Crap, crap, crap! I was actually gonna die!

  “Don’t worry. You won’t die.” As I looked up in confusion, I felt Kanzashi’s arms wrap around me from behind. “If I reach the ground with you... I win.”

  Kanzashi grinned at me, and I couldn’t help but grin back.

  “Let go of my bride!” Plasma daggers extended, Laura darted in.

  “You missed.”

  Slip.

  “Eh...?” Kanzashi, did you just drop me? You just dropped me, didn’t you. “Whooooa!”

  Just the shock of being shoved away popped even more balloons. The ground was rising up fast. Just as I’d resigned myself to death, the brilliant orange wings of Charl’s Rafale Revive Custom II filled my vision.

  “Ichika, I’ll protect you.”

  She was an angel. Catch Omamori☆Charlotte, Wednesday nights at— Okay, yeah, I was so stressed out that my mind was going. I needed to get a hold of myself.

  “Uh... Charlotte? Umm...”

  “Mm? What, Ichika?”

  “Umm, uh...”

  “Being pressed up against you like this is...” Charl’s face was right in front of mine. I could feel her curves pushing into me, and I didn’t know what to do.

  “Ichika, you’re so close...”

  “Sorry.”

  Looking at each other, our gazes met, and reflexively, we pulled away from each other.

  “Ah.”

  Well, well, now I’d really done it.

  “I’m gonna dieeeeeeeeee!” As I dropped, a streak of blue light broke my fall.

  “I won’t let go of you, Ichika.”

  “Cecilia... You saved me...”

  As she proudly wrapped herself around me, Cecilia turned to face the other IS. Four bits flew snapped out from her blue wings.

  “Go forth, my bits!”

  She’d come a long way from when we’d fought, and now she could fly while controlling her bits. Gently, we drifted down toward the ground.

  “Coming in for a landing, Ichika. Hold on tight.”

  “Got it.” Her sweet smell made my heart race. Not from perfume, just from a woman’s pheromones. Yes, very much a woman. Ugh, my head is swimming... No! I couldn’t! “Sorry, Cecilia!”

  I slipped out of her arms and leapt into the air.

  “Ichika?! What on Earth are you—”

  “Don’t worry, Cecilia! If I catch that tree, I should make it with just broken bones!” Or so I thought, but the tree was a long, long ten meters away.

  Pick one of the three following choices:

  1: My friends will come save me.

  2: I suddenly think of a solution.

  3: I won’t be able to do anything. Reality is cruel.

  “One or two, what’s it gonna be!”

  Burn, my Cosmo!

  Welp, it was gonna be three.

  “This is too cruel!” As I screamed, Houki focused and raced toward me as fast as she could, but it was too late. The girls had been so busy fighting among themselves that they’d drawn away from me. “So this is it, huh.”

  Just when I gave up, I heard someone shout my name. The next thing I knew, Tatenashi was cradling me a hair’s breadth above the ground.

  “Are you okay?!”

  “Yeah... You saved me...”

  As I answered, she sighed in deep, deep relief. I’ve never seen that serious of a look on her face. In any case, we settled gently to earth.

  “And the winner of this event is Tatenashi!” While I’d been distracted, Ms. Yamada, in bloomers herself, had taken the announcer’s stand, and she smiled down at us.

  “Eh...?” Everyone had a shocked look on their face. Including Tatenashi.

  “Rules are rules.”

  “Wait, uh, how’s that going to work? She’s not even in the same year.”

  “You’re right, she isn’t. What are we going to do about that? But in any case, she won this round, meaning...” As Tatenashi’s IS dematerialized, Ms. Yamada took Tatenashi’s hand and raised it in the air. “The winner is... Sarashiki Tatenashi!”

 

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