“You’re so funny, Ichika.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah...”

  My angel! My own angel, hath come down from heaven!

  “I think you’re the first person I’ve met here who likes my jokes.”

  “You’re glowing, Ichika.”

  “Thanks so much, Kanzashi!” Reflexively, I hugged her around the shoulders.

  “Hyaa!” She must have been surprised by the sudden contact, as her voice wavered while she tried to duck out of my arms. “No fair, Ichika...”

  “Mm? Hmm. Sorry?”

  “Why do you have to be so hesitant...”

  Uhh, just because.

  “Oh, and— Try this.” Kanzashi pulled a small jar out of her bag and showed it to me.

  “What’s in there, jam? Honey, maybe?”

  “It’s something I’m working on. Super Energy Gel #3, I call it the ‘Oomph Shot.’ You can see more about it on the web.”

  She pulled up a projection display and opened up a page. Wow, she really did have a page made for it!

  “Ring-ring-ring! Ring-ring-ring! It’s morning, morning, a bright new day. But you overslept! There’s no time for breakfast! Well, that’s okay, because you just need a spoonful of Sarashiki-brand Oomph Shot! Glug, glug! A full day’s worth of vitamins, amino acids, and calories! And it’s so tasty! Give it a try!”

  The page had a video of Kanzashi putting on a one-woman puppet show. Her deadpan delivery almost made me crack up. And not in a good way.

  “I’ve been working hard on this. I think I could sell the formula to a manufacturer.”

  “I, uh, I see. I hope that works out for you.” I managed to not tell her that deleting the movie would improve her chances.

  “Anyway, Ichika. Try it.”

  “Oh, sure.” I opened the jar and looked at the glistening gel inside. I wasn’t really sure about this. Nervously, I poked at the fluorescent pink candylike goop with a spoon and watched the tendrils which refused to snap as I lifted a bite up. This takes a different kind of guts than Cecilia’s!

  Stare. Don’t just stare at me silently! Staaaaaaare.

  “Here goes...”

  Slurp... Glug.

  “It’s sweet! Really sweet!”

  “It’s important to get enough carbohydrates.” I could feel the supersaturated sugar crystals coat my tongue.

  “Yeah... This is a hella sweet idea.”

  “...Hahaha!” I was shivering at the overwhelming sweetness of it, but that was still enough to get Kanzashi to laugh. Only her smile made those 10 minutes feel like a respite.

  “Hmm. Next is Laura, back on the yard.” I ran there and met her, and Charl, as well. “Hmm? Why are both of you here?”

  As I asked curiously, Laura elbowed Charl and replied, “Well, um. I thought that if I combined my time with Laura’s, we could have twenty minutes.”

  That didn’t seem like it fit the rules, but Charl’s laugh was enough to pass it off.

  “I will point out that it was Charlotte’s idea. Not mine.”

  “C’mon, Laura! It was barely out of my mouth when you agreed to it!”

  “Don’t tell him that!”

  “Plus, you didn’t bring a real lunch, so you couldn’t really do much by yourself anyway.”

  “Ugh...” Charl had her dead to rights, and she knew it.

  “So what did you bring, Laura?”

  “This!” She thrust out a vacuum-packed something at me.

  “...What is it?”

  “Rations! Proper Bundeswehr military rations!”

  “Are those tasty?”

  “The taste doesn’t matter!” She was dodging the question.

  “So they’re not.”

  “Quit complaining! I had wanted to bring meat!”

  “Meat?” Something was giving me a bad feeling about this. “What kind of meat?”

  “Snake... meat...” Was I really going to have to eat snake meat on field day?

  “It’s nutritious!” Anyway, it seemed like she hadn’t managed to make it. So she ended up with just rations, and Charl was honestly helping her out here.

  “And I made this.” Charl brought out a basket with an assortment of fruit in it.

  “Ooh, apple rabbits.”

  “And orange cats, and a blueberry pie.” I’d had my sugar needs not just squared away, but cubed away, but I still wasn’t about to pass this up. “And, here. I brought tea.”

  She poured it from her bottle into a cup, and I took the cup and drank.

  “Is this... Darjeeling? No, it’s close, but something else.”

  Charl giggled, “It’s my own blend.”

  She smiled. I smiled too. Watching us, Laura scowled, then mumbled, “Hmph. Why do I have to be left out...”

  Laura was sulking. Thinking about how cute she was when she sulked, I gave her an apple rabbit.

  “Huh?” Surprised by the suddenness, Laura’s cheeks flushed red.

  “Haha. You’re cute, Laura.”

  “Wh-Wh-What?!” I was getting back for Rin insisting on feeding me.

  “Lucky you, Laura. Ichika, can you... Can you say that about me too?”

  “Well, uh... It’s really embarrassing if you ask for it...”

  “Huh...” Charl was dejected, and Laura was shyly blushing. And that’s how 20 relaxing minutes with them passed.

  “Phew...” I let out a sigh of relief as lunch wrapped up.

  “Hahaha, good work out there.” I felt a cold sports drink press into my cheek.

  “That was exhausting.” I glared at the cause of my suffering, but Tatenashi pretended not to notice.

  “You don’t have to say it out loud.”

  “Fine, fine. Anyway, uh, Tatenashi?” There was something I wanted to ask her.

  “What?”

  “Did you get enough rest? Didn’t you get dragged off to do something?”

  As I spoke, her expression changed to one of surprise, and she asked, “Wait, you saw that?”

  “Yep.”

  “I was hoping you wouldn’t notice...”

  “Eh?”

  “Oh, nothing. Anyway, Ichika. Did you get enough to eat?” Now that she mentioned it, I hadn’t really had a meal. I must have been more worried about getting some rest than enough food in me.

  “Well, I’m still a little hungry.”

  “I figured you would be. Here.” She held out a rice ball to me. It smelled like all the delights of fall. Chestnut, shiitake, oysters, carrot, burdock root, and konjac, with lightly caramelized soy sauce. It looked great.

  “Want it?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, then, what should I have you do to earn it?” She gave me an impish wink, and I grinned back. That Tatenashi.

  “Please?”

  “Fine, fine. I’ll give it to you.” Huh. That was easier than I expected. Nonplussed, I looked into her face.

  “Wh-What?”

  “Are you sure there isn’t some kind of catch?”

  Thwap. Her fan caught me over the head.

  “You’re a rude one. If you’re going to be like that, I’ll take it back.”

  Munch, munch, munch! I stuffed it into my mouth before she could make good on her threat.

  “Slow down! At least try to taste it.”

  “Mmf.”

  “Here’s some tea.”

  Glug, glug. Ahhh! That really hit the spot! Grateful, I caught her hand.

  “That was amazing!”

  “Really? I’ll have to make it again for you sometime.”

  “Thanks!” I nodded energetically as the bell began to chime. “We need to get going!”

  With her hand still in mine, I set off.

  “Ah...”

  “Huh? What’s up?”

  “Oh, nothing...”

  Tatenashi seemed nervous for some reason. I could feel her fidget and shiver.

  “Do you have to pee or something?”

  Smack! She slapped me across the cheek.

  ◇

  “That hurt...”

  “You get what you deserve, Ichika.”

  The first event after lunch was the costume change race.

  “What’s this supposed to be, anyway?” I asked.

  “Exactly what it’s called?”

  “Don’t we have a board of ethics or something? How’d it get past them?”

  “Why wouldn’t it have?” Tatenashi raised an eyebrow.

  “It’s, uhh... Ugh, you know damn well why.”

  “Mm? Really? You’re telling me you don’t want to watch girls change?” Tatenashi gave me a cheeky grin, and snapped her fan open to reveal the word “lust.” “Ichika, you pervert.”

  “I am not!”

  “Oh, you’re just a garden-variety creep then?”

  “Doesn’t that just mean the same thing?!”

  Kaoruko had snuck up on us while we were going back and forth, and chimed in, “All right, that’s enough of the old married couple act. Get back to announcing.”

  “Who are you calling a—”

  “A married couple?!” For some reason, Tatenashi’s face was bright red.

  “Anyway, I’m going back to taking pictures! Ciao!”

  “Hold it right there, Kaoruko!”

  I jumped up to keep Tatenashi from chasing after her.

  “C’mon, you can’t leave me here alone! How am I gonna announce all by myself?”

  “Hmph...”

  I quickly slung my arms around her waist, and she glared down at my hands.

  “So, how long are you going to keep touching me?”

  “Oh, just, uhh...” I needed to think of an excuse, and fast. “Y-You have a really nice waist!”

  Clang! The steel knuckles of an IS slammed into my face.

  “Owwww!”

  “Quit making a fool out of yourself and sit down!”

  Rubbing the bruise that was beginning to form on my cheek, I took my seat and looked down at the field.

  “You’re so mean, President Tatenashi,” I whimpered.

  “It’s your own fault for being so clingy!”

  “You two sure I wasn’t right?”

  I glanced down at my mic and noticed it was switched on.

  “Tee-hee.” Kaoruko stuck out her tongue.

  “Kaorukoooooo!” Tatenashi was mad enough to bring out her whole IS, with its Vital Spiral gatling gun gripped in its right hand. “Stand still so I can hit you!”

  “Whoa! Be careful with that thing!” Even as Kaoruko danced out of the way of the bullets, her shutter was snapping as it captured the perfect picture of an enraged Tatenashi. “Perfect! Keep that face!”

  It was really something to watch, how she managed to keep out of the way while keeping her camera safe. I didn’t expect her to be so nimble.

  “Stop that, Sarashiki. You’re damaging school property.” Chifuyu smacked Tatenashi over the head. Hearing the effects of gatling gunfire described as damaging instead of destroying really reminded me that I was at IS Academy.

  “But, Ms. Orimura!”

  “Quit complaining.” Another smack finally shut her up.

  “I’ll get you for this, Kaoruko...” The perfect line, and the perfect expression, for a villain. She was even chewing her thumbnail in rage.

  “Tatenashi.”

  “Grrrr... What?”

  “That was perfect.”

  “...Do you want me to hit you again?” Sorry, sorry. “Ahem. Anyway, let’s go to the costume change race!”

  Her grip on her mic tightened. She was back in announcer mode, and even more hyped up than she’d been all day.

  “Er... Anyway, this is Orimura Ichika!”

  “And this is Sarashiki Tatenashi! Yay!” Tatenashi sprung into explaining the event. “First, each team will randomly draw an outfit to change into, and head to the changing zone to dress up! A teammate will help them change. Of course, you’ll only be able to watch from the shoulders up, but we’ve got lights set up to make sure you can get an idea of what happens behind the curtain!”

  She was really getting into this, and the crowd was following along.

  “Wait, what?! No one told me about that second part!”

  “I have no intention of participating in something so insulting to a lady’s pride.”

  “Not gonna happen!”

  “That’s pretty embarrassing...”

  “I’m out.”

  Amidst the crowd of contestants dropping out, only Laura raised her hand. “I’ll do it.”

  As the others turned to gape at her in surprise, Tatenashi continued, “Remember, first place in this event is worth 500 points!”

  Enough to make everything they’d done so far irrelevant.

  “Ugh, looks like I have to!”

  “Hmph! I will not be defeated!”

  “A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!”

  “If I have to do it, I’ll make it worth my while!”

  “I’ll win.”

  They may not have liked what they were about to do, but they sure weren’t gonna do it poorly.

  Laura looked on with surprise and said, “Hmm. I’m impressed by your self-confidence.”

  “Well of course I am!” Rin fired back.

  “And now, each competitor will announce their assistant!”

  At Tatenashi’s prompting, Houki spoke up, “My partner is Shijuuin Kagura. Another member of the kendo club. I’ve heard her family is of the old peerage.”

  Shijuuin looked every inch the part of a proper Japanese noblewoman, certainly, and her gentle voice matched as well, “The past is the past. It’s an honor to have been chosen.”

  She primly bowed her head, elegantly perfect down to the finest detail.

  Next, it was Cecilia’s turn to introduce her partner.

  “My own second will be Kagami Nagi, known for her speed. Her parents own a sushi restaurant. I’ve had the chance to visit, myself, and their egg custard is simply to die for.”

  Kagami finally cut her off, “That’s long enough, Cecilia! You don’t need to tell them my whole life story! Ugh, this is so embarrassing...”

  Cecilia did sneak in that she was on the track squad, though. So that’s why her legs were so toned.

  “Okay, okay, my turn now! My roommate Tina Hamilton will be helping me out. Right, Tina?”

  Next to Rin was a blonde girl whose gym clothes barely held in a super size bust. She stretched out her arms, and her breasts jiggled.

  “C’mon, Rin. Can’t you come up with something better than that? You didn’t even say anything about me. Come to think of it, you’ve never introduced me to Ichika, either!”

  “C’mon, Tina. It just hasn’t been the right time.”

  “Okay, so when will it be?”

  Their back-and-forth didn’t take anything away from their warmups, though. It seemed like they really were good friends.

  “Um... I asked Tanimoto to help me out... Wait, what?!”

  Where Tanimoto had been next to Charl, there was now just a scrap of paper.

  “Um... ‘Sorry, Charlotte. I can’t do this. Don’t try to find me. I asked Kishihara to help you instead. Tanimoto Yuko.’ Wait, whaaaat?”

  As Charl began to panic, a girl leapt onto her back.

  “Hey-hey-hey! It’s Kishihara Riko, the girl you love to hate! Call me Rikorin!” While the entire crowd decided that was a pretty accurate description, Kishihara bunched up Charl’s shirt and inhaled deeply. “Sniff, sniff! Charlotte, your sweat smells great!”

  “Eek! Hey, wait, stop— Ahhh!” It took Houki and Rin together to pull her off of Charl.

  “I’m next, then.” Laura puffed out her chest. It wasn’t really smaller than Rin’s, but it definitely wasn’t bigger either, so I’m not sure why she was emphasizing it like that. “My partner’s figure is as modest as her personality! It’s Yatake Sayuka!”

  With a blood vessel in her forehead nearly ready to burst, Yatake stepped forward, an arm over her breasts.

  “You heard Laura’s introduction, even if you probably don’t believe she said it out loud. I’m so normal it’s remarkable!”

  The most remarkable thing about her was probably her willingness to say that about herself, but let’s not dwell on it. Last but not least was Kanzashi with Miss Casual, a choice which was somewhere between “a given” and “obvious.”

  “Hey there! I’m Nohotoke Honne, age sixteen! My three sizes are ninety-one, fifty-seven, eighty—”

  “Honne, let’s not establish that as the baseline.” Kanzashi, worried about her own figure, elbowed Miss Casual.

  “Oof!” She hopped in surprise, sending her ample breasts—usually concealed under at least her uniform, if not her floofy pajamas—swinging.

  “Uhh...” Not knowing quite where I should look, I snuck a peek over at Tatenashi.

  “Mm? Where are you looking?”

  “Oh, nowhere!”

  “Mm-hmm. Hmm? Really?” I could feel her eyes drilling into me.

  Before she could say any more, I dove back into announcing, “Anyway, here we go!”

  At the sound of the starting pistol, 12 girls leapt into action. As I watched, I wondered why bloomers left the leg bare all the way up to the groin, and also where I should be looking.

  “Aaaaand off to an early lead are Houki and Kagura!” Tatenashi’s excitement was audible, and the change from her usual cool and collected style just made it even more contagious.

  As I was thinking about that, Houki and her teammate reached the drawing box first.

  “I drew Ling’s clothes! It says... ‘Cheongsam (mini).’ What’s the ‘mini’ part supposed to mean?!” Houki shot a disapproving glare at Rin, only to be met with a look of surprise.

  “It means miniskirt, what else would it mean?”

  “Don’t act so blasé about it! I-If I wear that, they’ll see everything!”

  Rin tried to calm Houki down as she drew her own outfit.

  “I drew Cecilia. It says... Huh? Just a dress?” She spread out the dress with a confused look on her face. It was a blue evening gown that would look great on Cecilia. The color was deep and vivid, with elegant lace trimming.

  “Oh my, you’re quite lucky to have drawn mine.”

  “How’s that lucky? It’s gonna be wicked tough to run in! It doesn’t fit me at all...”

  “That’s right, your chest— Ow!”

  “Don’t say that out loud!”

  Cecilia rubbed the welt Rin’s karate chop left on her forehead and drew her own outfit.

 

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