The Peas and Carrots Series Boxset 1, page 49
part #1 of Peas and Carrots Series
‘A baby? You got her pregnant?’ he said.
Philip nodded soundlessly.
‘We were going to be a proper family.’
‘You’re over twice her age,’ Suzy said, her pale skin having now taken on an angry glow. ‘You’re old enough to be her father. Her grandfather even.’
Philip screwed up his nose as if Suzy had said the most disgusting, despicable thing possible, regardless of the fact that it was entirely true.
‘Love doesn’t care about age,’ he said.
Eric felt a flash of heat rush to his cheeks.
‘Are you insane?’ he said. ‘You had a family. A wife. You vile piece of—’
‘What happened?’ Maggie said, halting Eric before he actually lunged. ‘I assume her family found out? Threatened you?’
Philip chewed his lip and nodded.
‘Carvay, he’s her brother. We knew it was just a matter of time, but we thought we could try to appease him. We thought if he saw how happy we were, then he wouldn’t—’
‘He wouldn’t care about the forty-year age gap?’ Suzy finished for him.
Philip sucked on his cheeks and pouted.
‘The minute we made port, she made me go. I knew about his temper, about it all. Poor Katrina, she only wanted to save me.’
‘So why come back here?’ Suzy said, a jet-black glare in her eyes. ‘Why come back to Mum with all these romantic gestures, trying to win her back?’
Philip lowered his gaze. Tears cascaded down his cheeks, but he made no attempt to wipe them away.
‘Why would you do that, Dad? If you were happy with this girl, why did you come back at all?’
The room waited for an answer, and for the longest time none came. Tears flowed in unending torrents that slid silently down Yvette’s face, though through it all she kept her posture upright and unyielding; never snivelled or sniffed. In fact, she’d been entirely silent since that first, painful yelp.
‘Why, Dad?’ Suzy asked again. ‘Why did you come back?’
When a further silence followed, it was Yvette who cleared her throat.
‘He needed me,’ she said. ‘That’s right isn’t it, dear? You needed me so you could get a job in some remote little place where no one would find you. That’s why it was all about the islands. Am I right? Bora Bora, Fiji, Dominican Republic. Anywhere off the radar. I’m right, aren’t I? You needed to get yourself as far away from this place as possible, and I was the easiest route out of here.’
All eyes were on Philip.
‘What was the plan?’ Yvette continued. ‘Wait until we were settled then send word to your tart and ship her over? Give her enough time to get back in the leotard and slyly sneak her into my place. You’re a has-been, and even if you weren’t, no one was going to give you a job after this stunt. It’s a shame that love can’t pay the bills, isn’t it, Philip? After all, who would employ a pregnant twenty-four-year-old dancer? I was your only chance.’
‘Dad?’ Suzy had gone pale again. ‘That isn’t true. Surely? That can’t be true. That can’t be why you came back?’
Philip’s head remained bowed, and Yvette kept going.
‘Were you even going to come with me?’ she asked. ‘Or did you just want to make it look like you’d gone? Perhaps if the rumour mill heard that you and I had disappeared to some remote little island, this Carvay would call off the dogs, and you could slip back to a life here with your twenty-something whore.’
Philip’s head snapped up, his eyes flashing with anger.
‘Katrina is not a whore.’
‘No?’ Yvette held her composure far better than Philip was managing, far better than Eric imagined anyone would do in such a situation. ‘Maybe not. Maybe it is love, but everything else is true, isn’t it? I was a decoy, a diversion, a sad little plot twist in your sordid little love story.’
Philip mumbled something as he ground his molars.
‘I still love you too,’ he coughed out eventually, the words somewhere between a choke and a splutter.
Yvette laughed. It was cold and heartless and sent chills straight down the length of Eric’s spine. Eric stood up. He crossed the room, took hold of the door handle and opened the door wide.
‘I think you need to go now, Philip,’ he said.
The moment Philip left, the tears started in earnest. Maggie escorted him out while Yvette fell to the floor. Suzy tried her best to comfort her, as did Eric, but in the end, all they could do was guide her up to her bed. Two hours later and her sobs still echoed through the walls.
Eric had then left a message on the school answer phone – at nine-thirty at night – saying that Abi wouldn’t be coming to school the next day due to personal circumstances. Suzy had messaged her editor about pushing back a deadline. They needed time as a unit, to support Yvette, that was clear. The decision was made that they would all go up to Lydia’s tomorrow and make further plans from there. Hopefully some space away from the house would be enough time to get things clearer in their heads.
‘I should get on with some work,’ Suzy said, ignoring the hour. ‘I’m going up to my office for a bit.’
‘Are you sure I can’t help you with anything?’ Eric replied.
‘I’m sure,’ she said.
For an hour, Eric busied himself trying to fix some of the mess that the baseball bat had caused. The recently laid carpet was full of splinters, and the prized balustrades smashed to pieces. When his legs and mind could take no more, he went up to Suzy’s office and rapped his knuckles on the door. When she didn’t reply, he pushed it open anyway and peered his head through.
‘Suze?’
She twisted around to face him. Her face was blotchy, red, and raw from where she’d been crying. On her desk lay her laptop and notebooks, all of them were closed.
‘Suze,’ he said. ‘What can I can do?’
She smiled meekly.
‘Is there any work I can help you with? Or your mum? I was thinking about it, and we can start converting the garage next week if you want? I’m okay with that. Really, I am. She can stay forever if that’s what you want.’
Suzy’s smile broadened just a little. Eric moved closer. Bending down, he wrapped his arms around her. It was minutes before they separated.
‘Can you message Lydia? See if Abi’s okay.’
‘Already done.’
She nodded.
‘I just don’t understand how he did that to Mum? To any of us,’ she said. ‘I knew he wasn’t perfect, but to trick her like that. To use her. And now the baby. What, I’m going to have a brother or sister who’s younger than my daughter? That’s ridiculous.’
Eric stayed silent. There were no words he could offer that would be of any real comfort, and in the end he decided no words were better.
‘I just can’t get the image of Mum out of my head. She was so numb, so hurt. He broke her, Eric, I really think he broke her.’
Images of them all sitting back in the lounge flitted through Eric’s mind. Poor Yvette, she’d hung onto his hand for so long, tending to his wounds, so desperate to believe it wasn’t true, desperate to believe her darling little Pipsqueak still loved her.
Eric dropped Suzy’s hands.
‘Shit,’ he said. ‘He rang here. He rang here and warned me.’
‘What? What are you on about? Who rang? What did they warn you about?’
‘Him. Carvery or whatever his name is.’
‘What?’
‘He was saying something about killing that little pipsqueak. That’s what he said, “tell that little pipsqueak we know where he is and we’re coming for him.” It was about your dad.’
Suzy’s jaw was agape. Her eyes bulged. She pushed herself back in her seat.
‘And you’re only just telling me now?’ she said.
Eric jerked.
‘Well, I didn’t know what they were on about. I thought it was some kind of prank call.’
‘But you didn’t think to tell me about it? That somebody telephoned and threatened my dad.’
‘I didn’t know they were talking about your dad. I thought it was just the village kids playing pranks again. I didn’t even know your mum called him Pipsqueak.’
‘But you should have said something.’
‘I wasn’t thinking,’ Eric admitted. ‘I was in a rush, and then it slipped my mind. This is a genuine mistake, Suzy, why you are you speaking to me like I’ve done something wrong?’
Suzy was on her feet; her whole body was trembling.
‘A man, with a baseball bat came into our home and attacked my family. Abi was here for Christ’s sake, Eric. Abi was here.’
‘I don’t know what you want me to say. That’s not my fault.’
‘You could have stopped it.’
‘I thought it was a prank!’
Eric’s eyes were locked on his wife’s, although at that moment they were utterly unrecognisable. Her nostrils flared as she refused to blink. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, she snapped back down into her chair and swivelled away from him.
‘I think you should go,’ she said. ‘I have a lot of things to deal with.’
Eric stared at the back of her head, waiting for her to sigh, or cry, or offer some form of normal reaction.
‘Suze?’
‘Just go,’ she said.
Then, slamming the door behind him, Eric did exactly as she suggested.
Chapter 27
ERIC WASN’T THINKING straight when he stormed out of the house. He wasn’t really thinking at all. A stream of red-hot emotions hurtled through him as he grabbed the closest coat to the door and marched outside, oblivious of the weather that had drifted in since his father-in-law’s departure. Even when he did notice the rain, he didn’t care.
The best thing he could do, he thought, was ring Hank. Hank always made him see sense, always offered a reasonable, and well-balanced approach to any situation. Always helped him see both sides. Although at that moment, Eric realised, that wasn’t what he wanted to hear. He didn’t want to hear how hard the day had been for Suzy, or how she deserved a little slack. Hadn’t he been trying his hardest? Hadn’t he attempted to take some of the strain off her by doing every household chore under the sun. Hadn’t he tried to arrange a weekend away where they could both relax and forget about the house and the allotment and all the ridiculous goings on in their life for a little while? Hadn’t he let her turn the dining room into an extended office, and let her mother live there unconditionally with barely a hint of complaint? A car sped past, spraying water up onto the pavement and soaking Eric’s trouser legs. He was not a shitty husband. He was doing his best.
No, Eric realised as the rain fell faster and began to splash up around his feet. He didn’t need Hank guilting him into feeling bad about the situation, making out like he was somehow to blame when he clearly wasn’t. Suzy was being unfair, and that was the truth of it. What Eric wanted, he realised, was to feel wanted. What he wanted was someone who would appreciate everything he was trying to do, the husband he was trying to be. Someone who would offer him affection without judging or asking questions. Someone who would be pleased to see him, no matter what. What he wanted, he thought, was Lulu.
Eric had passed Fleur’s house with the luminous fence posts enough times to know which one it was. He had even waved at her through the window a couple times, but he had never actually knocked on the door. He stood there, the light rain now a full-on storm that poured down the back of his neck. It was only after he’d knocked that he glanced at his watch and realised how late it was. He hesitated, ready to turn and leave when the door swung open. Fleur stood there in a tasteful silk dressing gown.
‘Eric, my God, what’s happened? Come in, quickly come in.’
Eric staggered inside, his legs suddenly lead weights beneath his body. The cold of the rain had reached all the way through to his skin and his head was spinning with exhaustion and frustration and a hundred other emotions he couldn’t quite place.
‘Eric, is everything all right?’
‘I needed to come. I needed to see—’
As if she knew, Lulu came bounding from inside the house, her tail wagging, tongue drooping. She wanted him, just like he knew she would. Lulu wanted Eric.
Eric dropped to his knees in the hallway as she bounced up and down on the floor around him. This was what he needed, he told himself, as she buried her nose into the sodden material of his coat. This was what he wanted. To be appreciated, to be loved, to be understood.
When or why the tears started, he couldn’t be sure. At first it was just difficult to breathe, then his shoulders started juddering. Then the juddering spread and his breathing grew shallower, and before he had even realised, he was crouched down on Fleur’s tasteful hall carpet crying as Lulu licked his ears.
When he finally looked back up, Fleur’s brow was furrowed with concern.
‘Do you want to come through?’ she said. ‘I have leftover Chinese.’
‘Leftovers sounds perfect.’
The spare ribs were cold, and the prawn crackers soggy and chewy, but the food made an immediate difference. Half a plate in, Eric stopped chewing and began to talk.
‘You poor thing,’ Fleur said, having listened to his account of the entire evening, from their meeting at the Chinese takeaway to his subsequent arrival on her doorstep. ‘Going in after him. You could have been killed. You must have been terrified?’
‘To be honest, I wasn’t really thinking about that,’ Eric said.
He was sitting on a variety of towels, with one draped over his shoulders and a hot water bottle on his lap. Fleur had offered him the use of her shower, but with no dry clothes for him to change into, it didn’t really make any sense.
‘No,’ Fleur said. ‘I don’t suppose you were. And now where is your father-in-law?’
‘Gone back to this Katrina for all I know.’
Eric’s fingers were sticky with sauce. As he reached them down for Lulu to lick, he winced at the pain in his shoulder.
‘Your shoulder again?’ Fleur said.
Eric nodded.
‘Right, turn around.’ Fleur moved from her seat across the room to the space on the sofa directly next to Eric. ‘Let’s have a proper look at this.’
‘I’m soaking wet, you don’t want to do that,’ Eric said.
Fleur looked at him and raised an eyebrow.
‘I think I can cope with a bit of rainwater.’
Eric was going to insist that he was fine, but the pain struck again, this time surging up his neck.
‘Only if you’re sure?’
Fleur pushed him forward on the seat and slipped in behind him. There was a funny sense of misplaced déjà vu to the act as she squeezed herself into the gap, placing her body tight against his, a powder blue towel filling the space between them.
‘You really need to take some time for yourself,’ Fleur was saying as she worked out the knots and the cricks with her fingers. ‘Honestly, the month you’ve had. You deserve some rest.’
She smelt new, like peppermint or soap, and when Suzy’s own aroma, of pencil lead and late-night gins, crept into his mind, Eric pushed it down. He didn’t want to think of Suzy. Thinking of Suzy right now made him feel angry and disappointed and let down. After all he was trying to do for her, how could she honestly think he’d keep something like that from her deliberately? Everything he tried to do was to make life easier for her.
‘This tension has gotten worse,’ Fleur continued as she worked. ‘I told you, you should have had it seen to.’
Eric sighed. His eyes were closed and his mind drifting off, and more and more Fleur’s voice was fading into the background, like waves lapping on a distant shore. He focused instead on the pressure of her hands, the softness around his neck, the receptiveness of his muscles. An involuntary moan escaped his lips.
In hindsight, he could see it coming, and not just from that evening. Looking back, he could see that it had been building for weeks, if not months, but until that actual moment, the moment when it actually happened, he had been completely oblivious.
Fleur’s hands squeezed their way around Eric’s shoulders, before moving down to the tops of his arms. Another moan escaped him, and her hands slipped lower, falling into his, where their fingers entwined. At the time, he thought she was twisting him around, although later he would realise that was impossible. It must have been him who’d twisted or leaned in or at least turned a little. Probably, he thought, so that he could say something. Probably so that he had could thank her for the Chinese or the ear or for keeping the puppy that he had so desperately needed to see. But when he parted his lips, it was not to speak.
His lips were met by another pair. A pair that tasted of red wine and sweet and sour and were stronger than the usual pair that pressed up against his. By a force beyond his control, his mouth responded, and the two pairs of lips found a rhythm, a new, unexpected, exciting rhythm.
Eric snapped back into the room. With his pulse racing he sprang up from his seat, pushing Fleur to the side as he did.
‘I … I …’
Fleur was on her feet, hand on his shoulder.
‘Eric?’
‘I can’t do this, I didn’t mean … I didn’t want to … I …’ He was stumbling backwards, stammering as he went.
His coat, still sodden, hung across the back of a chair. He grabbed it with one hand.
‘Eric, please.’
Lulu was at his feet now, barking and yapping and clearly confused by the sudden outburst.
‘I just wanted to see the dog,’ Eric said as he staggered out through the front door. ‘I just came to see the dog.’
Chapter 28
THE LIGHT WAS on in the lounge, exactly what Eric had dreaded. The walk home had given him time to deliberate every eventuality. The best-case scenario was that Suzy was upstairs in bed. He would have to tell her. He had to tell her, but morning felt like a more suitable time. He could get up early, make her breakfast in bed, and then tell her. Then again, he thought, maybe that would be a bit strange. Maybe it was better if he just got it out the way now. Maybe it was a good thing that she was still up. And hopefully a bit angry. It would be much easier to tell her what happened if she was still angry.
