Reckless Seduction, page 16
He didn’t know how she could coolly stay away from him for the sake of that institute. He quickly corralled his thoughts. He did understand it, well sort of. She had a right to her profession. She had worked hard for the stature that she had attained, and he would never expect her to forsake her dreams. But she could pursue her profession and still be with him, if she’d just give a little. If she would only make just the smallest concession, he’d go two steps further. As soon as he walked into his Bangkok office, he telephoned her.
Haley locked her desk and had reached to turn out the light when the phone rang. He didn’t wait for her to identify herself but spoke in a husky voice. “Listen, baby, I’ve never been one for pets, but I fell in love with that little guy as soon as I saw him. Midas, huh? I don’t know what you were telling me when you sent him to me, but you really hit me where I could feel it. The little rascal jumped right into my arms. Look, sweetheart, I need you. I…I just need you? When you see your way clear to meet me half, no, one third of the way, let me know.” He hung up before she could respond.
She knew that he wasn’t being rude, that he was just having difficulty dealing with his emotions. She sat there for a while, lonely but happy.
The next day, tired from a sleepless night and still shaken by Jon’s confession that he needed her, Haley could barely get through the day. Still floating on a cloud from Jon’s call, she gushed when she spoke with her mother that evening.
“Life is good, Mama. I can barely keep my feet on the ground.”
“Jon or the institute?”
“Jon. I love him so much, Mama. He called me from Bangkok and…and he told me he loves me and needs me. I’m still…I thought he was still mad at me.”
“Did you convince him that you loved him?”
“He didn’t give me a chance. He said it and hung up.”
“And I suppose you’re not clever enough to dial a number in Bangkok.”
“He stunned me.”
“And not for the first time, either, I don’t suppose. Hessy, I’d like you to consider that he needs to know he is loved just like you do. Think about that. Good night, dear.”
Before Haley could reflect further, Sky called. “Mama said something unreal’s going on with you and Ecklund. She told me to talk to you. Is this thing really mutual? I mean, what’s he telling you, sis?”
“He says he loves me and needs me and that he’s waiting for me to meet him one third of the way.”
“Do you love him? Really love him, I mean?”
“With every breath I take.”
“Then what’s wrong with your feet? You’ve got lead in them or something?”
“It’s a long story, Sky.”
“I’ll just bet it is. You get your act together, sis. You love him. He needs you and you’re dragging your feet. Why don’t you just pin a sign on him that says ‘man available’? I told you I know two women here in Washington who would take him out of circulation in a minute. And there’s got to be a hell of a lot more in New York, Bangkok, Oslo and half the other major cities. Go ahead. See how long he waits. Be seeing you.” He hung up.
Haley knew that her mother and her brother loved her fiercely, but she wished that they would back off about Jon. She found Sky’s attitude strange, because he had never thought that any man was good enough for her. Was Jon that special, or was it because she would soon be twenty-nine? She poured a glass of wine for herself, nursed it until she became sleepy and went to bed. Sleepy, she was, but when the sun rose, she was still wide awake.
She struggled out of bed and put on a pot of coffee, but a queasiness that she’d also felt the night before took her appetite, and she settled for a glass of tomato juice. Confused and uncertain as to what course she should take, she chose the easy route and sent Jon a note. She knew that he deserved a telephone call, but she wasn’t prepared to deal with her feelings for him nor his for her, because she still hadn’t found a means of meeting him even one third of the way.
Out of sorts, Haley walked into her office nearly an hour before the start of the working day, wondering how she would overcome the feeling of exhaustion. As she sat down at her desk, it alarmed her to realize that the institute simply did not mean to her what it once had. She was proud of IISP, but with a sudden flash of honesty, she acknowledged that she was also resentful of it and that there had recently been times when she viewed it as an unwanted burden. Yet the thought of giving up the institute or of sharing its leadership did not occur to her. When five o’clock arrived, her relief was palpable.
Haley used her key to enter her mother’s house. She’d known that Gale would not be home before six o’clock but, in order to avoid the rush hour traffic, she took an early flight. She hadn’t eaten any lunch, so she made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, got a glass of milk and went in the living room to munch, watch television and relax. Over three weeks had passed, and Jon had not responded to her note.
She needed desperately to be with him. Her thoughts were of him and of what they had been to each other. “I’m happy when I’m with him,” she said to herself. “Even when I’m annoyed with him, I’m happy so long as he’s close by. I love to look at him, to touch him, to hear his deep voice and his lilting words. I love being with him. And oh, the way he makes me feel!”
She remembered his gentleness, the way he had cherished her and the way he had surrendered to her totally and completely. “Oh, my Lord. How did I let myself get to the point where a man meant this much to me?” The words spilled out of her in a torrent of emotion. She stood abruptly with the intention of putting the dishes in the kitchen. Gale found her on the floor fifteen minutes later. She had passed out.
Paul Blake, the Feldon family physician, removed his stethoscope, pinched his nose and informed Gale that Haley was exhausted but otherwise healthy. He prescribed a week of complete rest and three square meals a day, with no caffeine, no chocolates and no alcohol.
“I want to see her in my office nine-thirty Monday morning without fail,” he added as he walked to the door.
Gale relayed the message to Haley and waited for the expected refusal and denial. It didn’t come. “I have been unexplainably tired lately, Mama, but I can’t be away from the institute for an entire week.”
Gale took a deep breath and faced her recalcitrant daughter. “You’re not leaving this town until Paul says you may. Nobody is indispensable. If you run an institute that size without delegating responsibility, you’re an inefficient chief executive. I suggest you call that new employee what was her name—”
“Nina, Mom. Her name is Nina Emory,” Haley said.
“Thank you. Call Nina, and tell her that you’re taking a week.”
Haley gave in, and it astonished Gale that she hadn’t put up a fight. It was out of character, and the situation bore watching.
“You’re telling me that you don’t intend to tell Jon Ecklund that you’re carrying his child? You’re planning to have it, aren’t you?” Gale asked when Haley returned from the doctor.
“How could you ask such a question? Of course I am. But I haven’t heard from him since he called me three weeks ago, and I have no intention of waltzing up to him and asking him to marry me. Besides, women don’t have to be married these days when they want to have a baby. Dr. Blake says that I’m in good health and shouldn’t have any difficulties.”
“You listen to me, Haley Feldon. You told that man you wouldn’t marry him, and he still spilled his soul to you. Did you call him back and tell him that you love him? No. What do you expect? Oh, do what you want, but I don’t relish being grandmother to a child who’s staggering under the stigma you’re laying on this one, a child who’s on the defensive before it’s born. Among my people, what you’re contemplating is practically unknown.”
Haley leaned back against her pillow, drained. She had been in shock since the doctor told her that morning that she was pregnant. She wanted the child but would have been happier if it had come at a more convenient time. She had been too busy to wonder about the plain-as-your-face signs of pregnancy. She would have laughed if it had been funny. That last time, when she’d seduced him, she’d been so full of him, so wild in ecstasy that she fought his attempt to protect her. She wondered what price she would pay for those forbidden moments of pleasure.
Dusk had fallen when Haley awakened. After a single knock on her door, Sky walked into her room without waiting for an invitation. “What on earth are you doing here, Sky?” He stood at the head of her bed, looking down at her. He’s big, she thought, just as big as Jon. And when did he get to be so handsome and so much like Papa?
“Mama said you were still here and that you weren’t up to snuff. And when I asked what the trouble is, she was evasive. Mama never equivocates, so I figured something was wrong with you. What is it, sis?”
“Nothing that time won’t cure,” she answered, cryptically.
“Yeah? And what the hell does that mean?” She took a deep breath, not sure how her brother would take the news. He had always been extremely protective of her, as many a broken toothed adolescent boy could verify. She loved him and needed his respect, and she realized with surprise that telling her mother was far, far easier that telling Sky. She gathered her courage and looked him in the eye.
“How do you feel about being uncle to a green-eyed, blond niece or nephew?” If she expected shock, she was disappointed.
Nothing shocked Sky Feldon. “You’re pregnant?”
“About three months.”
“When are you getting married?”
“I’m not. I haven’t heard from him in three weeks.”
Sky hunkered down beside her bed so that he could see her telltale eyes. “Now, run this by me again. He told you that he loves you and that he needs you and wanted to marry you—or so Mama said. And you interpret that to mean he’s not interested?”
“If he was, he wouldn’t let three whole weeks go by—”
“How much encouragement did you give him? None, I’ll bet. And you conclude on the basis of nothing but your own self-indulgence that you’ve been rejected. Now let me tell you something, Haley. You’re being damned irresponsible—irresponsible in respect to both the child and its father. You’re a big girl. If you didn’t want to get married, why did you let yourself get pregnant? And why the hell didn’t he prevent it, anyway?”
“Now, hold it, Sky. This isn’t Jon’s fault. He tried his best to protect me, but I…I wouldn’t cooperate.” He observed her quizzically out of almond-shaped chocolate-brown eyes.
“When you made love with him, you trusted him to protect you. Don’t you realize that he was trusting you to do the right thing and honor him, if his efforts to protect you failed? Woman, don’t you know that a man hurts the same as a woman does, that he feels rejection and betrayal just as you do? How would you feel if Jon took your child away from you? What does he say about all of this, anyway?”
“I’m…I’m not planning to tell him. He’s probably not interested in me anymore. At least that’s the way he’s acting.”
“You’re not going to tell him?” He stared at her, slowly unfolding himself from his haunches. “I see. A man of Jon Ecklund’s stature deserves better. I want to be there when you watch some kid call your child a bastard. And I want to hear you explain to your child why you thought it didn’t deserve the love and caring of its father. And by the way, I care a hell of a lot more about your behaving with honor toward the man you let love you than I do about the color of your child’s eyes and hair.”
He didn’t tell her goodbye or ask her what her plans were. He merely walked out, leaving her with the feeling that she had lost her best friend. For as long as she could remember, he had been her best friend apart from her mother. She couldn’t know that by the time Sky reached his apartment he had arrived at a difficult decision.
Jon leaned against the old Norwegian spruce that had been his silent friend since before he was six years old. A well-worn black leather jacket, nondescript jeans and his favorite red-and-black plaid flannel shirt shielded him from the bitter cold and biting wind, though not entirely. He didn’t mind the discomfort. His body temperature wasn’t his problem. He whittled on a stick, dreading the night, as sunset neared. It was time for a decision, one that he would live with for the remainder of his life. He wanted a home, children—his own family. He loved his parents, but he couldn’t remain in their home. It was their nest, not his. And he was tired of seeing the pain behind their smiles, pain for him. He pitched the stick into the stream but not before he noticed that he had been well on the way to carving the head of a woman.
Looking at the sunset, it hit him forcibly that romantic love had been considered a necessary basis for marriage only since the last century and only in most, but not all, Western cultures. Perhaps if he went about choosing a mate scientifically, he’d have more success. Using a broker, if necessary, he’d find a woman who shared his interests and have her agree in advance to accommodate his physical needs and bear his children. In exchange, he would provide her with financial security and give her his word that he would be a faithful, caring husband and father.
With heavy feet, he walked back to the house. But as he reached the back door, it occurred to him that he might not be able to keep his end of the bargain. The night after receiving Haley’s note, depressed and lonely, he’d tried for the first time in his life to erase his misery in the arms of a desirable, willing woman. He hadn’t wanted the woman, and none of her tricks would change that. Embarrassed, he’d simply told her the truth—he was trying to forget a love gone sour and couldn’t get the woman he loved out of his thoughts.
Still in a rotten mood the next afternoon, his antenna shot up when Eva, his secretary, walked into his office rather that buzz him through the intercom as she usually did. “Jon, Sky Feldon is on the phone from Washington.”
He hesitated before taking the phone. Why was Sky Feldon calling him? Blood rushed through his veins, and his heartbeat accelerated. Haley. It had to be Haley. He grabbed the phone. “What is it, Sky? Is there anything wrong with Haley?”
“She’s okay, Jon, but I am calling about her.” Sky paused for a moment.
“Look, man, there’s no way to say this but bluntly.”
Jon braced himself, unable to imagine what it could be. “All right, let’s have it.”
“Haley tells me that you’re the father of her unborn child.”
“What! What the… What the hell did you say? Never mind, I know what you said. Why are you calling me to tell me this? Wait a minute. Are you accusing me of—”
“Hold it, Ecklund. In my book, you’re the innocent victim here, not Haley. That’s why I’m calling.”
“Now, I definitely don’t know what you’re talking about. How is it that you know I’m going to be a father before I do? After she found out, I should have been the next person to know. Look here, she is going to have the baby, isn’t she? Talk to me, man!”
Jon was no longer sitting but was pacing the floor of his office to the extent that the length of the telephone cord would allow.
“Oh, she’s planning to have it, all right. The problem is that she’s also planning on being an unmarried mother.”
“She’s planning what? The hell you say! When my children are born, they will have my name.” He was getting angrier by the second.
“I’m with you, man. I called you because I find her position untenable. I have told her that if she goes through with this she dishonors her child and its father. I have also told her that you deserve better. She’s my sister. I love her, and I would protect her at any cost, but I do not and cannot condone what she is proposing to do about this baby, and she knows it. You need to talk some sense into her—in person and soon. Mama and I did our best but to no avail. She’s not even planning to tell you anything about it.”
“Why? She knows that I love her, that she is the essence of my life. How can she…? Oh, God! Tell me that this is just a nightmare and that I’ll wake up in a minute.” He paused, and then his anger surfaced again. “She won’t get away with it. Damned if she will.”
“I think you should know that she is telling herself that you don’t care for her anymore, because she hasn’t heard from you in a few weeks. Of course, she doesn’t see her role in that. She also thinks that since she hasn’t shown any enthusiasm for marriage when you’ve asked her, she can’t go crawling—her words—to ask you to marry her now that she’s pregnant. Assuming that you understand women better than I do, you’ll sort this out. If there’s anything I can do, let me know.”
“I owe you one, Sky. I definitely will not forget your kindness.”
“Forget it, man. We both love her and want what’s right for all concerned.”
“Thanks. Where is Haley right now?”
“She’s with Mama in Washington.” He gave Jon the address and telephone number. “The doctor says she’s suffering from exhaustion and has her resting in bed for a week, but she’s otherwise very healthy.”
