The Enchanted Creeper, page 5
So Ziggy is going to meet me in the garage in an hour. Why? Because I told him I’d make him an enchanted helmet to protect him from sunlight. I know—genius, right? I’d supply the enchantment of Protection if HE supplied the helmet.
So now I can hardly wait for my family to go to bed. I can’t WAIT to stretch out on that cold, hard living room floor. Because as soon as the sun peeks over the horizon, I’m heading to the village. I’m going to get that Fire Aspect enchantment, and get back on track for the science fair.
FINALLY.
DAY 27: TUESDAY (CONTINUED)
I should KNOW better than to listen to Ziggy Zombie. Like EVER. Because I did, just this ONE time. And now my life is pretty much OVER.
See, Ziggy didn’t show up at my house with a helmet. He brought a rotten old Jack o’ Lantern. To wear on his HEAD. Whatever. I’ve said it before—zombies are disgusting. Why was I even surprised?
So I stuck the pumpkin in the anvil to give it the Protection enchantment. But the moment the anvil finished doing its clinking thing, my Evil Twin burst through the garage door. And she had Spence the Dispenser with her.
I THOUGHT she’d aim for Ziggy, who didn’t happen to be wearing any chicken-egg-deflecting armor. But she didn’t. Nope.
She pointed that dispenser at MY face. So I did the only thing I could do. I stuck my head in the freshly enchanted Jack o’ Lantern helmet.
Well, I regretted that move RIGHT away. Rotten pumpkins smell even worse than rotten flesh, and pumpkin slime was OOZING down my cheeks. When some of it got in my mouth, I tugged on the pumpkin to get it OFF.
But guess what? It was STUCK.
While Ziggy tried to help me out of that disgusting thing, Chloe cackled in the background. “CURSE OF BINDING!” she cried.
WHAT???
Yup. Somehow, I’d grabbed the wrong book and used the WRONG enchantment. I blame it on Ziggy for distracting me with his stinky Jack o’ Lantern. And now that stinky, slimy thing is stuck to my head. Permanently.
FOR LIFE.
Mom and Dad SAY they’ll find a way to get it off. I guess they’re going to call Mrs. Collins, even though it’s the middle of the day.
But in the meantime? I’m looking at life through two soggy wet holes. I can’t breathe through my mouth, or I’ll hurl. And even my buddy Sticky the Squid is afraid to look at me.
I’ve just read my enchantment book cover to cover AGAIN. And when I closed that book, I closed the book on HOPE, too.
Why? Because there’s not a SINGLE enchantment in there that can save me now.
DAY 28: WEDNESDAY
Let’s just say that I did NOT go to school last night. Oh, I had daymares about it during the few seconds that I actually SLEPT yesterday.
I could picture Bones and his buddies using my HEAD for target practice. And Mrs. Collins using me as an example of what NOT to do with enchantments. And Ziggy Zombie following me around, wishing that rotten vegetable was stuck to HIS head instead of mine.
I guess the only good thing that came out of this stinky situation is that I got my room back. Dad said he’d sleep in the garage from now on.
Did he really JOKE about that? Yes, he did.
But Mom shot him the stink-eye. And when Aunt Constance said that Mom should have kept a better eye on what I was doing out there in the garage, Mom shut her right down. I don’t know WHAT she said, but I’m pretty sure I hear Aunt Constance packing in the bedroom next door.
So now I’m just waiting for time to pass—till school ends, when Mrs. Collins is supposed to help us figure this thing out. But I’m not holding my breath. No, I’ll probably be locked up in this bedroom for the rest of my life. I’ve already started marking the hours on my bedroom wall.
1:17 A.M.
Mom just poked her head in and said I should try to keep up on homework. But WHY? Pumpkin Heads don’t need an education. I’ll probably just join the circus or something—people will pay a LOT of emeralds to go behind the curtain and see a freak like me.
2:05 A.M.
Jukeboxes? Science fairs? I don’t care. I can barely HEAR music through my pumpkin helmet anyway.
Kid Z’s rap music—my one true love. Lost FOREVER.
3:38 A.M.
I just caught sight of my reflection in Sticky’s aquarium, and I’m not gonna lie—I am one SCARY-looking dude. So if Mom wants to take all the mirrors and other shiny things out of the house and donate them to the Creeper Charity, that’s fine by me.
4:02 A.M.
True confessions: I just tried on EVERY SINGLE wig and hat in Cate’s closet, trying to cover up my orange, bald head. I might have even tried some makeup (but if you tell anyone, I’ll deny it).
What’s the use??? A pumpkin head is a pumpkin head.
It’s such a shame, too. I was a pretty cute creeper, if I do say so myself. But now? I’ll NEVER be loved again.
4:13 A.M.
I guess there’s only one thing left to do.
I mean, I can’t study. It’s hard to read when you have pumpkin slime oozing into your eyeballs.
I can’t see my friends. (Or at least I REALLY don’t want them to see ME.)
I can’t listen to Kid Z’s rap music (cause of my pinched ears. I feel like Sam in his way-too-tight helmet).
I can’t eat (because, you know, pretty much everything tastes like rotten pumpkin).
So what’s left in this world for a Pumpkin Head like me?
Only ONE thing.
SIGH.
So here goes nothing.
DAY 28: WEDNESDAY (CONTINUED)
Okay, I might have gone over to the dark side for a few hours there. And I guess I CAN be kind of dramatic.
But I gotta say, I wrote some pretty great rap songs this morning while I was waiting for the sun to come up. Not for Language Arts. Not for homework. Just for ME.
And it turns out, there WAS an enchantment that could save me from living out my life as a Pumpkin Head. PHEW!!!
When Mrs. Collins called Mom after school this morning, she said to try Silk Touch. “The Jack o’ Lantern will fall right off your head,” she said. “I mean, probably.”
PROBABLY? I wasn’t loving the sound of that. I also wasn’t thrilled that the only mob I knew who had the Silk Touch enchantment was Willow Witch.
When I called Sam, he bounced right over to the swamp to get her. And I’m pretty sure she used her potion of swiftness, because she and Sam showed up on my doorstep in no time flat. With Moo.
REALLY? Can that slime go NOWHERE without his cat?
Willow brought her Silk Touch pickaxe, which looked awfully sharp. “Just do it,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut. I might have said a prayer inside that pumpkin helmet, too.
But Willow wouldn’t take the Jack o’ Lantern off my head just yet—not until I helped Sam enchant Moo’s booties. REALLY???
“A deal’s a deal,” she said. Like I told you, the witch is fierce when it comes to protecting her boy, Sam.
Let me also say that it’s NOT easy to work an anvil when you’re stuck inside a pumpkin head. And when EVERYONE in your family is watching you. Chloe was still laughing her butt off, but Cate just stared at my pumpkin head.
“Can you use the Curse of Binding with a WIG?” she asked. Leave it to the Fashion Queen to want a wig stuck to her head for life.
Even Aunt Constance was out in the garage watching me. Wasn’t that creeper supposed to be creeping her way back to her own house by now? I’m sure she was feeling all smug, like “None of MY children ever got their heads stuck in a pumpkin.” Whatever. I didn’t have time to worry about her right now.
Willow gave me her enchanted book—the one with Frost Walker. We stuck it in one anvil slot, and we stuck Moo’s booties in the other. Clank, clank, clank. When the booties started to glow, Sam cheered. He and Moo finally had their “en-CAT-ed” armor.
“Okay, then,” I said, turning back toward Willow. “My turn.”
But before she could even TOUCH my helmet with her pickaxe, I caught sight of Moo wearing her booties. And let me tell you, that cat looked RIDICULOUS. She kept shaking her paws, trying to get out of those booties. That poor kitty cat was DANCING.
Well, that tickled my funny bone. I started laughing, which a creep really shouldn’t do when he’s wearing a pumpkin head. (I snorted a slimy seed up my nose, and it’s STILL stuck in there, I swear.)
Anyway, I laughed so hard, I threw my head backward. And thunked the Jack o’ Lantern against the wall. And CRACKED it right in half.
HURRAH!!!
When that slimy helmet fell off, my head felt so LIGHT and so FREE. I almost hugged Sam. I could have KISSED Moo, too. But I controlled myself. I mean, this cat-hating creeper has a reputation to protect.
But I wouldn’t be protecting it with an ENCHANTMENT anytime soon. Nope, I was kind of done with that anvil for a while. In fact, I’m feeling kind of done with EVERYTHING. There’s nothing like a night spent alone with a pumpkin on your head to help you see life more clearly.
So after everyone went home—including Aunt Constance—and the rest of my family went to bed, Mom and I sat on the living room floor and had a good heart to heart.
“I’m cutting the clutter,” I told Mom. “No science fair. No more enchantments in the garage. No more worrying about Chloe’s dispenser or winning emeralds or getting a jukebox. From now on, it’s just me and my rap songs.”
“And your homework,” said Mom, giving me THAT look. (You know the one.)
I told Mom that I was finally feeling that “positive energy” she kept talking about. “Cutting the clutter feels GREAT.”
She smiled, but then she looked around the empty living room and sighed. “I miss the rocking chair,” she said.
REALLY? Now she wanted to start putting clutter back IN?
But I’ve been lying in bed thinking about that, and I kind of get it now. I guess Mom’s empty living room is kind of like my long, lonely night in a pumpkin head. Sometimes when you have enough time and space, you figure out what’s REALLY important to you—what you miss most. For me, it was my rap songs. For Mom, it’s her rocking chair.
So I’m thinking that maybe Dad can build her one. I mean, once we get that anvil out of the garage and clear up some space for new things. I’ll talk to Dad about it tomorrow.
DAY 29: THURSDAY
So I was feeling GREAT about my decision to drop out of the science fair. That is, until Ziggy Zombie came up to me at lunchtime and presented me with a gift.
It was wrapped in brown paper that must have been a sandwich wrapper once, because it still had moldy cheese stuck to it. GROSS. But a gift is a gift, so I opened it (FAST).
When an enchanted book fell to the floor, I didn’t even want to pick it up. Would it have the Curse of Binding? My heart started thumping.
Ziggy picked it up for me and shoved it in my face. “Fire Aspect!” he said. “The one you wanted!”
I guess Ziggy went to the village right before school and got it for me. That was pretty nice—and brave, considering the sun was still out, and he could have gotten a serious sunburn.
“Now you can make your science project!” he said. “The Flaming Fork!”
Chloe was walking by right about then, and she was all like, “Ooh… the Flaming Fork! Guess the competition’s back on, eh, Gerald?” I could tell she was loading up her fire dispenser in her mind, just itching to take me on at the science fair.
I took the book from Ziggy, but I didn’t take the bait from Chloe. I told her that I wouldn’t be doing a science project, thank you very much.
But Sam kept pestering me. “No science project?” he said. “C’mon, Gerald. It’ll be fun!”
FUN? I’d fallen for that trick before. See, I once thought that Enchantment Class would be fun, but it turned into a lot of WORK. I thought that an enchanted pencil would be fun, but I’d gotten in trouble for it. I thought breathing underwater would be fun, but I’d practically DROWNED.
I told Sam that the most fun I’d had lately with science projects was watching him try to get those leather booties on Moo. I cracked up again, just thinking about it.
Sam latched right on to that. “So you can help me with Moo tomorrow!” he said. I guess he’s bringing a swimming pool with him into the science room to prove that the Frost Walker enchantment can teach cats to like water.
Well, I gotta say—THAT sounded pretty tempting. So I started thinking that maybe I could enter the science fair after all. I mean, just for FUN.
I came home this morning and made a new Flaming Fork. I wish I could say that it’s new and improved, but it’s not. See, the only extra fork we had in the drawer was one of Cammy’s baby forks. Mom HAS to keep extra of those, because Cammy keeps blowing them up.
My enchanted baby fork looks WAY less impressive than my first Flaming Fork. And it’s not going to win me any emeralds—or a jukebox. But, it’ll get me into the science room so that I can watch Moo “walk on water.” Dude, I’d PAY emeralds just to see that!
DAY 30: FRIDAY
So, just in case you’re wondering, cats do NOT like water. Not even three inches of water in a swimming pool. Not even when they’re wearing Frost Walker booties.
Sam tried—he really did. And Moo might have taken a step or two across that pool, as the water turned to ice beneath her paws. But then she stood still for a second too long, and the ice turned BACK to water. Well, that cat shot out of the swimming pool faster than a fireball out of Chloe’s dispenser.
And speaking of Chloe’s dispenser, she and I SOMEHOW ended up working together at the fair. See, our science teacher didn’t think she should be shooting fireballs inside the classroom. And when I saw that Chloe was about to blow sky high with disappointment, I did something NICE. I reminded her that she could use chicken eggs.
Our science teacher wasn’t crazy about THAT idea either. But I told him that they wouldn’t be messy, because I had a secret INVENTION that would clean them right up.
Chloe and I begged for some eggs from the cafeteria, and then we showed off her Fried-Egg Machine. She pelted my leather vest with eggs, and I fried them with my Flaming Fork—and served them up to all our friends, including the three judges walking around the room. (Genius, right?)
I steered clear of Ziggy’s science poster, which was FULL of blister photos. (YUCK) But I did catch Willow’s demonstration. She was testing out some of her potions against enchantments.
Potion of Harming versus Protection Enchantment? Chalk one up for Willow. When she threw her glass bottle at an enchanted shield, that shield cracked right in half.
Fire Protection versus Potion of Fire Resistance? Yup, Willow won again. She stood in a bucket of hot lava while the enchanted boots in the bucket next to hers went up in smoke.
When the judges handed Willow a blue ribbon, I figured it was all over. Willow won the emeralds, and that was okay by me. But you know what happened next? The judges gave ALL of us blue ribbons. Yup, even Ziggy Zombie. I guess they’d decided to do away with a winner and reward us all for having “fun with science.”
Chloe was hopping mad about that, and I kind of get it. I mean, like I said: grown-ups know how to take something fun and make it feel like work. Then they’ll take something we worked HARD on, and say it was just for fun!
Still, I’m not gonna lie—I DID have fun.
As Sam, Willow, and I walked home after the fair, I congratulated Willow on her potions. “I guess potions are pretty cool after all,” I admitted.
“Hey!” said Sam. “We should start a Potions Club!”
Well, Willow and I both shut him down. The last thing I need is ONE MORE ACTIVITY in my schedule. But I told Willow that maybe we could brew potions at her house someday—you know, just for fun.
By the time I got home, Mom had put some furniture back in the living room. She was standing in the doorway with her eyebrows all scrunched up, thinking. “Do you think it looks too cluttered now?” she asked me.
I froze on the spot. UH-OH, I thought. Here we go again.
But when I said no, Mom agreed. Then you know what she did? She went right over to the new couch and curled up for a nap.
I think I’ll go to my room, too. But I’m not going to sleep. No, I’m going to do my favorite thing in the whole wide world.
I’m going to RAP.
DON’T MISS ANY OF GERALD CREEPER JR.’S HILARIOUS ADVENTURES!
Greyson Mann, The Enchanted Creeper
