As soon as I heard the word “initiative,” I knew I was golden. Grown-ups love it when you want to do something BEFORE they ask you to. Like cleaning your room. Or taking out the trash. Or sweeping up the gunpowder after your baby sister’s latest explosion.

  So by the time Enchantment Class started, Mrs. Collins was practically SHOVING books in my face. While other kids lined up with shears and shovels, I headed to the enchantment table with a book. A few books actually.

  I got some weird looks from other kids in class, let me tell you. But I just kept my mouth shut. A creeper never reveals his secrets, right? Besides, if I let it slip that I had an ANVIL at home, kids would be lining up from clear across the Overworld to get into Dad’s garage. And I knew the old man really wouldn’t appreciate that.

  Mrs. Collins let me enchant two more books while I waited for Sam after school. He gets tutored in the library on Wednesday and Friday mornings—the perfect chance for me to spend extra time in the enchantment room.

  By the time I got home this morning, I had FIVE enchanted books. Those glowing purple covers felt like diamonds in my backpack. Sam and I took the LONG way home to make sure that no one followed me and tried to steal them.

  Now that I’m back in my room, I’ve spread them across my bed like treasure loot. Here’s what I’ve got:

  • Two books with the Efficiency enchantment. (That one’s kind of disappointing. I mean, it’d be great if I were a miner trying to get lots of stuff in one trip to a mineshaft. But I prefer to keep my feet ABOVE ground, thank you very much.)

  • One book with Fire Aspect. (That one’s for swords, I figured out. Not sure what I’ll do with it yet, but I’m thinking I can make a trade …)

  • One book with Protection. (BINGO! I know EXACTLY what to do with that. I’m going to make some armor to protect my green skin from Chloe’s flinging fireballs.)

  • One book with Respiration. (WOW. I really hit the jackpot there. If I put that enchantment on a helmet, I can actually BREATHE underwater.)

  I tried to imagine that. I pressed my face up against Sticky’s aquarium and pretended I was floating in there beside him. Sticky had mixed feelings about that, I could tell.

  That’s right about when Mom burst in and flung open my window.

  At first I thought she was going to jump through it, but instead she took this deep breath—as if someone were cooking burnt porkchops outside, and she couldn’t get enough of the smell.

  Then she said something like, “Now that we’ve gotten rid of all that clutter, we’ve cleared the way for POSITIVE energy to flow. Doesn’t it feel WONDERFUL, Gerald?”

  No, it did not. That positive energy was “flowing” right over my enchanted books. Pages started flapping around. But before she left the room, Mom made me take a deep breath of that fresh air. Three of them, in fact.

  And through that open window, I heard a beautiful sound coming from the garage. BANG, CLINK, CLANK!

  Dad was back at work on the anvil. Which meant that I’d be enchanting books in no time—by this weekend. Maybe even sooner!

  “Right after you finish your homework,” Mom reminded me. I swear that creeper is a mind reader.

  So now I’m trying to study. Math, History, Enchantments, Science … Blah, biddy, blah, blah, blah.

  But that’s okay. I’ve got a stack of enchanted books by my bed, and I’ll be breathing underwater and swimming like a squid in no time.

  DAY 3: SATURDAY

  I’m starting to think I’ll need to use that Efficiency enchantment on DAD. Because the weekend is here. Dad’s been working on the anvil for a whole day, and he’s not even close to being finished. At least he SAYS he’s not.

  When I got home from school this morning, I went straight to the garage. Dad was polishing the anvil with a cloth, humming while he worked. But when I asked if he was almost done, he shook his head. “Not even close,” he said. “Nope—lots of work to do on this one, son.” He started tinkering with something on the side of the anvil.

  Well, Gerald Creeper Sr. can’t fool me. I know he’s dogging on this project so he can stay in the garage longer—all weekend maybe. But this creep doesn’t have that kind of time.

  So I’m going to be on him like a wart on a witch’s nose. We’re getting this thing done tonight—me and Dad.

  I told him I’d be back. I gave him that look that says, “I’ve got my eyes on you, mister.” That was when a fireball shot through the open garage window and pinged off my forehead.

  Now that Mom’s got windows open everywhere, there’s no hiding from Chloe’s crummy dispenser. I needed protection—and I needed it FAST. So I dodged another fireball, dove inside the front door, and headed straight to Cate’s closet to look for some armor.

  At first, Cate was all like, “Don’t you ever KNOCK, Gerald?” and “Can’t a girl have a little PRIVACY?!” But when she found out what I was looking for, she sprang into action.

  Pretty soon, Cate had all kinds of things for me to try on:

  • A leather vest that COULD work like a chest plate (after I cut off all the embarrassing fringe from the bottom)

  • Clunky leather boots (from Cate’s combat fashion phase)

  • Leather leggings—that I won’t be caught dead in. EVER.

  Cate said they were like skinny jeans and super comfy. So I DID try them on—just once. But as soon as I looked in the mirror, I knew. Creepers like me should NOT wear skinny jeans. Or leather leggings. Or any pants out of his sister’s closet ever again.

  It didn’t help when a fireball spat through Cate’s window and bounced off my butt. I mean, the leather DID kind of protect me. But I could hear Chloe laughing from clear across the backyard at me in my leggings.

  So I peeled them right off, which was NOT easy. (It was like wrestling with a cave spider, or at least trying to get out of its web—which I’ve done before, by the way. But that’s a whole other story.)

  Anyway, the one thing Cate didn’t have in her closet was a helmet. Not a leather one. Not an iron one. Not ANY kind of one.

  So I guess I won’t be breathing underwater like Sticky anytime soon. But I CAN enchant some armor to put an end to the fireball attacks. I mean, just as soon as Dad is done with that anvil.

  DAY 4: SUNDAY

  We did it! WOOT-WOOT!

  Last night, Dad and me finished the anvil. (Well, he polished it up some more, tapped it a few times with a pickaxe, and finally declared it DONE.) Then we enchanted my leather vest with Protection.

  It worked slick as swamp water. We put my enchanted book into a slot on the anvil, and my new leather vest into the other slot. I heard this clinking sound, like metal on metal. And then? My vest started to glow.

  I put that thing on right away, because the garage window was still open, and I KNEW Chloe was watching us with her good buddy Spence the Dispenser. (I’m starting to think that dispenser is evil, that it spits fireballs at me all on its own now—even when Chloe is NOWHERE nearby.)

  Anyway, I decided not to cut the fringe off the bottom of the vest, because I need all the protection I can get against Chloe and Spence. And guess what? The Protection enchantment WORKED!

  I heard the click of the dispenser, and saw the puff of smoke. But when that flaming spitball hit me, I didn’t feel a thing. It might have even TICKLED.

  I smiled. Then I started laughing, which made Chloe hissing mad. She launched another gazillion shots at me.

  Between you and me, I kind of wish the vest had sleeves. And a hood. And was a bit longer. Because even with the vest on, I took a couple of hits to my legs—and one to my nose.

  But I sure wasn’t going to let Chloe know that. I just grinned at her and did my annoying “You can’t touch this!” dance. That one always gets to her.

  I heard Chloe explode, and gunpowder blew through that open window. YES! Chalk one up for Gerald Creeper Jr.

  So maybe Mom was right. The positive energy IS flowing, and it sure feels good. I even took a good long whiff. I didn’t smell burnt porkchops, but I smelled the next best thing:

  SUCCESS.

  DAY 6: TUESDAY

  Wow, the positive energy is flowing alright! Last night, I came up with the BEST idea ever for a science project. And I actually have BONES to thank for it.

  But let me start at the beginning.

  We were sitting in Enchantment Class waiting to enchant our fishing rods. I was hoping for Luck of the Sea, but every other mob in class was hoping for Lure. See, the Lure enchantment helps you catch more fish. But Luck of the Sea helps you catch enchanted BOOKS. And who’d want to catch a bunch of floppy fish when they could be loading up on enchantments?

  Of course, I ended up getting Lure. (SIGH.) So I pulled my fishing rod right out of the enchantment table and enchanted a book instead.

  Bones actually snorted when I did that. “Aw, look at little creepy-weepy, who wants to bring home another bedtime story.” He stuck his bony thumb in his mouth and started slurping on it.

  I wanted to act like a baby right then—like my baby sister, CAMMY, anyway. She would have blown sky-high and wiped that sneer right off of Bones’s skull.

  But I reminded myself that Bones just didn’t get it. NONE of the mobs in Enchantment Class cared about enchanting books yet. Why? Because none of them had a secret ANVIL at home. And that’s just how I wanted to keep it. When it comes to winning the science fair, I—Gerald Creeper Jr.—will take every advantage I can get.

  When Sam stuck his fishing rod in the enchantment table, he got Lure, too. He started jiggling with joy, thinking about all the fish he could catch for Moo.

  But Willow ended up with MY enchantment—Luck of the Sea. And she was actually DISAPPOINTED. I guess she wanted Lure so she could catch pufferfish to brew more potion of water breathing.

  Again with the potions? I was kind of done with that topic. So I asked Willow why she didn’t just wait till next week, when we would learn how to enchant armor. I said maybe she could enchant a helmet with Respiration, and breathe underwater that way. I mean, we were in ENCHANTMENT class, for crying out loud—not POTIONS class.

  But Willow is all about her potions. She just shrugged. “Potions are better than enchantments,” she said, like she was stating some fact out of a science book.

  Then Bones started whining again about enchanting his bow. And Mrs. Collins said NO, we were still enchanting tools this week. So Bones reached into his backpack and pulled out the only “tools” I’ve ever seen him use: a pair of drumsticks.

  I hate to admit it, but Bones is a wicked good drummer. Now I didn’t know that you could enchant drumsticks. I don’t think Mrs. Collins knew it either. When he stuck those drumsticks in the enchantment table, her mouth dropped right open.

  But sure enough, the sticks started glowing purple. I guess Bones got the Efficiency enchantment—the one miners use. And when he drummed them on the table, those sticks FLEW.

  He had this crazy beat going. Everyone stopped to listen, and a couple of teachers stuck their heads in the doorway.

  Finally Mrs. Collins cleared her throat and told Bones he should probably “take those sticks home and use them there.”

  Well, I was already dreaming about ways that I could use the Efficiency enchantment, too. Could I enchant my own MOUTH, so I could be an amazing rapper, like my idol Kid Z? Nah. I wasn’t crazy about the idea of sticking my face in the enchantment table.

  Then I thought about the rap songs I write for Language Arts, and genius struck like a lightning bolt. (It happens to me sometimes. What can I say?) Could I WRITE raps faster with the Efficiency enchantment?

  Well, there was only one way to find out. Two ways, in fact. Because I had TWO books at home enchanted with Efficiency.

  As soon as I got home, I headed into the garage armed with an enchanted book and a sharp pencil. And when I got out, I couldn’t WAIT to start my homework. That glowing pencil jittered, as if it couldn’t wait to meet up with a piece of paper either.

  Well, let me tell you, I whipped right through my homework. I barely had time to READ my math problems before the answers flowed out the tip of that pencil.

  It felt just like the time I got hyped up on caffeine. I had WAY too much hot chocolate at the Creeper Café, and then stayed up all day to finish a couple of homework assignments.

  Yeah, this felt kind of like that. Except my homework didn’t take me all day—it took me like two minutes.

  I zoomed through my science worksheet so fast, I ripped a hole in the paper. Then I scratched out a rap song in about three seconds flat. I’m not even kidding! I swear I saw a trail of smoke jetting out from behind that pencil.

  So I’m starting to think this enchanted pencil could be my ticket to fortune and fame—or at least to a stellar science fair project.

  Yup, this pencil is my new best friend. (Sorry, Sam.) From this moment on, I’m going to have to keep it with me at ALL times.

  DAY 8: THURSDAY

  I don’t think a creep should have just ONE best friend. So I didn’t stop with that enchanted pencil. Nope, I gave myself another little buddy: an enchanted magnifying glass. Why, you ask?

  Because now I can not only WRITE fast, but I can READ at the speed of light, too. I know—genius, right?

  Suddenly, I’m like the best student at Mob Middle School EVER. I burn through my homework. I write crazy good rap songs—FAST. I’m the first one done with quizzes in class. Yesterday in math, I actually had time to take a NAP after a test.

  When my math teacher looked at me funny, I realized that I should probably keep this Efficiency enchantment on the down low. I CAN’T get my enchanted pencil taken away—at least not before I’ve figured out how to use it to win the science fair.

  But I’m working on ideas. And now that I can get my homework done in record time, I’ll have PLENTY of time this weekend to work on the science project, right?

  RIGHT!

  DAY 10: SATURDAY

  By Golem, I’ve GOT it. A science fair project, that is.

  It’s only Saturday morning, and I’ve already made a HUGE poster for the fair. I wrote down lots of numbers—stats on how fast I can do my homework with an enchanted pencil and magnifying glass, and how SLOW I am without them. I drew LOTS of charts and graphs, too. (Teachers and judges eat up that sort of thing.)

  So this creep is feeling pretty good about himself, I’ve got to say. It’s only been a week and a half, and I’ve almost polished off my whole 30-day plan:

  The way I see it, Mom is the only thing that could get in the way of my plan. Now that the weekend is here, she’s doing what she calls her “second wave” of cutting clutter. GREAT.

  There’s barely anything left in the house as it is! Sock the Sheep is still in the backyard, but Mom took a pair of shears to him—like his wool was extra clutter too. The poor naked sheep is looking through my open window right now, like he wants to crawl in and hide under my bed.

  So if Mom’s still at it, I’m going to have to hold tight to my enchanted pencil. And to my science fair poster. Because my leather vest can protect me from fireballs and flaming arrows, but it can’t protect me from Mom the Clutter Control Queen.

  DAY 13: TUESDAY

  I will NEVER speak to Sam the Slime again as long as I live. At least not when he’s wearing a dumb leather helmet on his ginormous green head.

  He actually came to school wearing it. I mean, sure, it’s finally “armor and weapons” week in Enchantment Class. But that class isn’t until after lunch. Was Sam going to wear that helmet ALL DAY? And how did he squeeze his head into the thing in the first place? It looked like his head might pop, and his brains might gush right out.

  I said so while we were standing by our lockers in between classes. But Sam couldn’t hear me—not with his ears all squished up in that helmet.

  He didn’t hear me later, either, when I told him about my science project. I had to tell SOMEONE, for crying out loud. The secret was bubbling up inside me like hot mushroom stew.

  But I had to repeat it twice. I told Sam to take the helmet off so he could hear me, but I guess it was stuck or something. So I told him about my science project ONE MORE TIME—loudly.

  And Mrs. Collins just happened to be walking by at that exact second. GREAT.

  She lowered her reading glasses, stared at me hard, and pulled me into the library. I HOPED she was going to compliment me on my enchanted leather vest with the fringe on the bottom. But she didn’t.

  Instead, she proceeded to tell me that I could NOT use enchantments to get my homework done faster. That would be CHEATING, she said. And other teachers might get upset. And we might have to cancel Enchantment Class. “And that wouldn’t be fair to other students now, would it, Gerald?” she asked.

  Not fair to OTHER students? What about ME? I wanted to say. I mean, Bones got away with enchanting his drumsticks, didn’t he?

  But Mrs. Collins wasn’t hearing it. She asked me to hand over my enchanted pencil AND my enchanted magnifying glass. RIGHT NOW.

  Maybe if I’d had more time to think, I could have faked some tears or come up with a perfectly good reason why I needed to keep my things. But I couldn’t. My brain was on lock-down, and when I tried to squeeze out a tear, my insides started hissing and bubbling. I was going to blow sky-high—I could feel it. And teachers don’t really appreciate that sort of thing.

  So instead, I crept off down the hall. I might as well have crept right out the front door and all the way home. Because it’s all over for me now. I should just hand Chloe her emeralds for best science fair project. And lean over and let her zing me with a batch of fireballs, while I’m at it.

 

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