Green Eyes Cry, You Die, page 17
part #2 of Layton Shayne Mystery Series
“I don’t know, I think the detective might’ve been right calling you Sparky,” Angie said. The two of you look like two dogs sizing each other up—the only thing you two haven’t done is sniff each other’s ass.” She laughed and was rewarded with two angry glares: one from Miss Lucy and one from Sassy.
“How you liking that Colt 45 I sent you for your birthday, Sassy?” Miss Lucy said. “The kickback didn’t send you flying back through the air, did it?”
Sassy pulled her Colt out of her purse and ran her hand across the top of it.
“I know how to handle big things, thank you, Miss Lucy. I hope the rocket launcher I sent you for your birthday didn’t make you land on your ass the first time you used it.”
“I know how to handle long things that have a kick to ‘em. I’m married to a black man, you know.”
“Ooo, girl, TMI,” Sassy said. “But that was a good one.”
The two women looked at one another, laughed, then spoke in unison.
“Bitch!”
Then they laughed again.
“I’m surprised you called me again after the price I got from your group for the last object I found,” Sassy said.
“My boss made me call you. You know I don’t like being bested like that.”
“I know you don’t, now you know how I felt when you got the objects I was after. You’re lookin’ good, girl.”
Miss Lucy twirled around in the off the shoulder, dark purple, below the knee dress she wore with low-heeled sandals. Sassy was still dressed as before in her capri pants and heels.
“You look good too.”
“What the fuuuck are these two women all about?” Angie said.
“Damn, if I know,” I said. “How’s about explaining to me why the whole town knows what I’m doing here, Miss Lucy?”
“The whole town doesn’t know… just the ones I specifically chose to enlighten. Tell him about those men that came in here looking for him, Angie.”
“They were dark colored, black men with funny accents—not southern or anything, but like you hear people talk in the TV shows and movies that take place in Jamaica, and places like that.”
“Monique’s people with connections to Shelby,” I said.
“No,” Miss Lucy said. “The Shelby connections are broken; that cult doesn’t come into play here. Those people are working for Monique’s daddy Sandoval Marchand, keeping an eye on you, detective. That in itself wouldn’t be such a big problem, if it weren’t for the fact that you’re looking for those statues. If Sandoval’s people find out about them and report it back to the man himself, we’ll have another battle on our hands like we had in Shelby. We’ll need people backing us up here, if things turn ugly. Is there any chance at all those men might not know about the statues?”
“When they were asking after Layton, they also found out about the statues from some of the merchants,” Angie said. “Whether or not they took the stories as real or fake—I don’t know.”
“They know,” I said, in all seriousness. “Someone warned the manager of the gay campground about us, it had to be them. It’s time to finish things.”
“Summing things up, detective,” Miss Lucy said. “You need to find those statues, and make it your priority to destroy them before Sandoval’s men can get to them.” She turned to Angie. “The tourists that come here don’t need to know the truth about whatever happens to them—let ‘em keep looking for the damn things. Hell, make some fake ones… but it’s too dangerous to keep the real ones around anymore.”
“I understand completely, and if you folks need me, I’ll come running,” Angie said. “I don’t own a 45… but I do have a shotgun.”
“Doesn’t everyone in the South?” I said with a smile.
When we were back in Sassy’s car, I turned to her with an idea.
“We need to find out everything Prudence Bailey knows tonight. It’s getting late, so let’s say we give Alex a call and have him tell her we’re picking up Chinese food for all of us. Then tonight, I’ll suggest she do the seance she mentioned to me.”
“A seance?” Sassy said.
“Yeah, she mentioned it to me earlier as a way to cleanse her soul. It’ll be a great chance to find out everything she knows about those statues, including whether or not she has one of them hidden in her house.”
“And what if we don’t learn anything useful?”
“One way or another, we will,” I said. “In any case, tomorrow I’ll head to Aurora on my own, while you three head over to the Green-Eyed Lady Hotel and Treasure Trove.”
I took out my cell phone and brought up Alex’s name, but before hitting it, I looked at Sassy.
“This case has gotten significantly more dangerous,” I said. “We need to watch ourselves and stay more alert than ever. Anything can, and probably will happen from this point on.”
-25-
Tell Me About It
When I arrived back at the B & B, I showered, then joined the others to eat Chinese take-out for dinner. We were all feeling full and tired, so we went to our rooms to rest before the seance. I’d stripped down to my briefs and was lying down, regretting that I’d eaten one forkfull too much of honey chicken. Alex was reading the missionary’s diary, and Buck was checking under his bed for God only knew what. My hand was over my eyes in an attempt to block everything out, but Buck was being too noisy.
“What the hell are you looking for under that bed, Buck?” I said.
“Nothing now, I’m just putting my bag under it. Earlier, I was just making sure there wasn’t someone hiding, or a snake, or anything. I hate surprises, so I was making sure there was nothing under there that might come out later.”
“You’re kind of in the wrong profession, if you hate surprises, aren’t you?” I said.
“I don’t know,” Buck said. “When I was a kid, I used to plan my own surprise parties, especially after my cousin Donald threw me one and bought me a chocolate cake—I hate chocolate cake!”
“What’re you talking about?” Alex said, looking up from the diary. “You ate that whole cake sundae, licked the spoon clean, and would’ve probably licked the bowl too, if we hadn’t been there… and that was chocolate.”
“That doesn’t count, because it was vanilla cake with chocolate frosting—I like that, but I don’t like chocolate cake. And that stupid cousin of mine knew that when he bought me that chocolate on chocolate cake!”
“Wow,” Alex said.
“Hold on a minute,” I said, a lightbulb going off in my head. “That’s what upset you so much about Prudence’s cursing. You didn’t like the surprise of it.”
“That’s it, I suppose,” Buck said.
“And you weren’t surprised by the zombies at the campground?” Alex said.
“You didn’t hear him scream like a girl,” I said.
“Stop picking on me, you guys,” Buck said. “I screamed, because I didn’t expect to see them come bursting in like that. I wasn’t surprised that there would be zombies, I was briefed about that before coming on this mission.”
“You knew about the zombies, claim not to like surprises, and still accepted this mission?” Alex said.
“That’s about it in a nutshell,” Buck said, before lying down on his bed. “See, the zombies in themselves weren’t a surprise, because I knew to expect them, just not when. Prudence was a surprise, because the cussing was so out of character for her, and it made me confused for a minute… and I hate getting confused. What sort of woman makes you yummy cake sundaes, acts like this grand southern lady, then cusses like that—tell me that’s not confusing.”
“You have a point,” I said. “But you can’t let that kind of stuff upset you so much that people can see what it does to you. It gives them an edge over you… and that’s not a good thing.”
I let that sink into Buck’s head a moment before I addressed Alex.
“Have you found anything useful in that diary?”
“Not really,” Alex said. “Well, not anything we didn’t already guess. The shop owner bought all three statues from the missionary with plans to resell them.”
“Then what’s got you so intrigued in that book,” Buck said.
“The missionary’s descriptions of the creation of the statues using human blood mixed with clay, then the wild orgies that happened when they used the statues in religious ceremonies.”
“Creepy,” Buck said. “Speaking of creepy, I don’t like the idea of going to this seance thing. I’m a baptized Christian, what if Prudence tries to sell our souls to the devil?”
“I thought you said you were a baptized Christian?” I said.
“Yeah.”
“Well, then your soul already belongs to God, provided you’re a true believer,” I said.
“Of course I am, but I’m still nervous.”
“I’m the head of this team, so whatever comes after you has to go through me first,” I said.
“Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better. I’m gonna take a quickie nap.”
“I think I will too,” Alex said. We’ve got a while before the seance starts at eleven… I don’t know why, but I get the feeling it’s gonna be a busy night.”
Not too long after they’d fallen asleep, I shut my eyes too and dozed off. I woke up and looked over at the clock on the small table between Alex’s bed and mine—it was ten-thirty. Quietly, I got out of bed, dressed in tan shorts, a blue button-down shirt, and my blue flip-flops. Bending over Alex’s bed, I was about to give him a kiss when he reached up and pulled me down to him. We both giggled and kissed.
“Mmm… you always taste so yummy,” I said. “I wish these beds were big enough, so we could share one. It’s as if we were put in the kiddie room. Every time I turn trying to get comfortable, I’m afraid I’ll fall off the bed.”
“Thanks for the compliment. And you’re right these beds are small. Where are you off to, detective?”
“To pay a visit to the pink room and talk to Sassy. You and Bucky boy had better start getting ready.”
I reluctantly left his side, our room, and a snoring Buck to visit Sassy.
* * * *
My low knock on the door of the pink room got an immediate response.
“Come in, it’s not locked.”
I walked inside and saw Sassy dressed in a knee-length, red dress, with spaghetti straps admiring herself in a full length mirror to the side of the dresser.
“You look very nice for the occasion,” I said.
“It’s more of a practical choice,” Sassy said, lifting the hem of her dress to reveal holsters around each leg, both containing guns.
“Are you expecting trouble?”
“I’m always expecting trouble—that way I’m never surprised.”
Back to the topic of surprises again, I thought, but didn’t articulate. “So, how are you surviving in this bubble gum palace that’s your room?”
“Actually—despite what I said earlier, I don’t mind it too much. It reminds me of my pink and black bathroom at home. I live in an older home, which still has the original black and pink tiles. Of course, the black does break up all the pink significantly. Where’s your home, Layton?”
“I don’t exactly have one these days. I broke the lease on my apartment out west to take the job in Shelby. Before that I’d sold the family farm to my ex, who’d taken up with my nephew.”
“Sounds like there’s a story there… maybe one day you’ll tell me.”
“Maybe, but I do have to ask what the deal is with you and Miss Lucy?”
“She made us sound like old enemies when she mentioned me, huh?”
“I wouldn’t say enemies exactly… maybe adversaries.”
“Lucy and I have known each other a long time; and during most of that time we’ve worked together, things have gone her way. On the last case, we were both after the same item… I got to it first and was able to ask my price for it from Lucy’s organization. Lucy took it personally—the woman doesn’t like to lose. But I can understand that because I don’t like to lose either.”
“And now?” I said.
“Now, her superiors have brought me in—and she’s still licking her wounds from the last case.”
“If you find a statue without us—”
“We’re a team on this case, detective. I stand by the deals I make in business, and I’ve already agreed to a sum for my part here. Lucy knows I always honor the terms of the deal. In the situation that she’s still sulking over, I was working for myself with my own team. It just so happened, the organization was there too. I had no agreement with them, so I was able to ask my price for what they wanted. My price was high, and I got it—it’s just good business. Lucy knows that, she just wanted to get the object first.”
“So, she doesn’t feel betrayed?”
“Naw, she knows better than that. If she’d asked me to give her the thing as a friend, she knows I would have. But that was business, and she wouldn’t have asked. It really is just as simple as the fact that she’s mad I got to it first, when she could have. It was a stupid mistake on her part that kept her from getting it, and she knows it—that’s what really bugs her about the whole thing.”
“That would bug anyone, especially her, I’d guess.”
“I don’t need to guess, I know.”
“Oh—and I meant to ask about our Miss Lucy actually being a Mrs. Lucy,” I said.
“The Miss as a title is used a sign of respect in the south. And Lucy says being referred to as Miss doesn’t make her feel as old as being referred to as Mrs. would make her feel. Now, how’s about escorting a girl to a seance, detective?”
“It would be my pleasure.”
-26-
Farts and Tarts
The four of us were gathered at the door to the back parlor waiting for it to be ten fifty on the dot, when our hostess would open the double doors.
“Mmm,” Buck said. “I smell chocolate chip cookies.”
Before I could say anything, I was admonished by my loving partner.
“No more for you tonight, Layton; you were complaining about your tummy earlier.”
“That’s right, I forgot about that,” I said.
The doors opened, and Prudence stood there shimmering in all her glory.
“Welcome! Welcome! Enter into my spiritual domain.”
She was wearing a floor-length, long-sleeved caftan covered in red and purple sequins. There was a matching turban on her head. Sassy was the first to boldly enter the room. I had a hard time squeezing through the doorway with Buck and Alex tightly by my sides.
It was a nice room, a deep red in color with red curtains, lit candles scattered on side tables, and a brick fireplace sitting catercorner against the wall. The walls were covered in framed photographs of Prudence in costumes for various roles she’d played through the years. In the center of the room between two heavily draped windows was a round table with a dark red velvet tablecloth on it. Over an antique hutch were two large, sharp looking Samurai swords.
“The swords are real,” Prudence said. “A theater patron, who witnessed my performance in our non-operatic version of Turandot, gave them to me as a gift. My poor Linus cut himself on one of them when he was a boy, so I had them moved in here. She picked up a framed photograph from beneath the swords and handed it to me.
“That’s me and my Linus. His hair was going through a transitional time when that picture was taken.”
The young man in the picture had hair that looked like a wild overgrown tangle. Buck peered over my shoulder to look at it and laughed.
“What happened to his hair?” Buck said.
“Bad perm,” Prudence said.
“Enough said,” Sassy said.
“Check out this picture,” Buck said, pointing to a photo of Prudence and some other ladies.
“That’s when we were dressed as tarts to play our parts in Sweet Charity, the musical. We’ll have plenty of time to look at the photographs after the seance. Everyone, come over to the round table, please. I’ll take my usual seat, and Buck, darlin’, you sit to my right—Alex you sit to my left. Layton you sit across from us and Sassy can sit to your right.”
We moved where she directed us, and I asked a quick question.
“Are you still going to try to reach Philip?”
“Yes,” Prudence said.
“Maybe you should try to reach the shop owner too, since he sold Philip the statue,” I said.
“I thought about that when his son Andrew, who runs the shop and hotel now, called me just a little while ago. He would’ve come tonight, but he was busy meeting with some folks, or planning a meeting—something or another.”
“Does he come to a lot of these gatherings?” I said while getting situated in my seat, and noticing the others were already in their places.
“Oh, yes, he loves my social gatherings. The man likes everything just so, and says that my seances run like clockwork. Always promptly at eleven, and always with me in the seat of honor. Speaking of which, it’s almost time to begin. Everyone hold hands.”
A thought was beginning to form in my mind… an important one, but Alex and Sassy holding my hands made the thought vanish.
“Everyone lower your heads to the table in a sign of respect and open humbleness,” Prudence said. “We want the spirits to feel free to impart to us what they will. Now, close your eyes.”
I closed my eyes and thought I heard a low, somewhat familiar sound. The next thing I heard was unmistakable.
It was the sound of loud, rapid-fire farting.
Someone started coughing, and I heard Buck.
“It’s a gas attack! Good Lord, the smell! It’s like something died in here”
I raised my head, opened my eyes, and heard Buck’s loud, shrill scream fill the air. “Someone did die in here, that’s why we heard all the farting!” I said.
Sassy and Alex both yelled for a moment too when they got a look at Prudence. There was a single small bullet hole directly in the center of Prudence’s forehead and her eyes were glowing green… but that wasn’t the only reason Buck and Alex were yelling. Even though she’d expelled gas like most corpses do, she was a lot more animated than a typical dead person—she still had a hold on Alex and Buck, who were trying to break free of her grasp.
