From Pemberley to Paradise, page 1
From Pemberley to Paradise
Florence Gold
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual events or persons is entirely coincidental.
Author’s Note
The author uses UK spelling and US grammar.
This work is in copyright as stated by Berne
Convention for the Protection
of Literary and Artistic Works.
All rights reserved.
Text: Copyright © 2019 Florence Gold
Cover: ana damian
Image ID: 19260038
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Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Epilogue
By Florence Gold
Soon to be published
Chapter 1
So rarely were Elizabeth and Jane home alone that they did not know how to celebrate.
“Almost alone”—Elizabeth smiled—“let’s not forget Mary secluded in Papa’s study.”
Early in the morning, their father and Uncle Gardiner had departed for some sport on the property of an old friend fifteen miles away. They left the house as happy as young boys on their first holiday from school. Just after breakfast, Mrs Bennet, Aunt Gardiner, and Kitty left on another kind of hunting expedition—in Meryton—their main quests being ribbon, bonnets, and lace at the milliner’s shop.
“I need some fine lace for an old dress I want to alter,” Mrs Bennet told her sister-in-law while Kitty impatiently waited in the carriage. “Hurry up, Mama,” she called to Mrs Bennet who was in search of her yellow parasol. “I want us to be the first to arrive because today everybody will be out to see the new arrivals!”
Her mother just smiled as she climbed into the carriage. She enjoyed going to Meryton to meet other ladies and find out those little things that happened in Hertfordshire and made her life worth living. She had reason to be happy. Her little Lydia was already married, living with her handsome husband while Jane—betrothed to one of the richest men in the county, the gentle Charles Bingley—was about to be married in a few days. It was a good start since, having low expectations of marriage for Mary, only two daughters remained without husbands. She was confident the new season would bring essential changes.
Meanwhile, Netherfield was preparing for the wedding to come; Mr Bingley intended to provide a memorable stay for his guests, some of whom—like Mr Darcy and his sister, Georgiana—had already arrived.
Elizabeth and Jane conspired to stay home, pretending to need the time to prepare for that evening’s dinner and the next day’s party at Netherfield.
“We have to make sure our outfits are ready,” Jane said with a brilliant smile.
“Are you sure we shall find Mr Darcy and his sister at Netherfield?” Elizabeth asked, blushing slightly. She was interested in that news, yet she intended to avoid speaking to Jane about her intentions and possibly clouding her happiness with misadventures from the past.
To her great surprise, Jane raised her eyes from the ribbon she was sewing on her dress. “You seem very interested in this man, Lizzy. This is the third time you have asked me such a thing! Of course he has arrived. Mr Darcy is Charles’s best friend and wants to be present at Netherfield now and contribute to the preparations. Why are you so interested in him?”
Still in their nightgowns, they were enjoying a leisurely morning, just the two of them in the parlour, when a maid came in, saying, “Miss Lizzy, Miss Jane, please go up and dress as your mother wanted you to do. Someone might appear at any time.”
Jane smiled; she was so radiant that the whole room was full of her beauty and emotion. By “someone”—everybody knew—her mother meant her betrothed who had the habit of paying a visit in the morning and then again in the afternoon. He would surely come at night if it were possible. Mrs Bennet was so eager to see her oldest daughter married that she was ready to shut her eyes and allow the intendeds to meet as many times as Mr Bingley wanted. “Besides,” she told Mrs Gardiner only last night, “Lizzy is always around.”
∞∞∞
“I am so excited about this evening’s dinner,” Jane said. “Charles asked me to take the place of the mistress of the house.”
The place occupied by his sister Caroline, Elizabeth thought. This change might bring new animosities. Luckily, Jane will not observe anything besides her love for Mr Bingley. Many a time Elizabeth noted what a blessing it was for her sister to have such a character and attitude. She was continuously floating on a cloud, touching the ground only when misfortune occurred, such as the time Mr Bingley suddenly lost interest in her. As it turned out, it had been Mr Darcy’s fault. If tempted in the past to tell Jane the truth about him, Elizabeth had to admit recently that Mr Darcy had some qualities that made her completely change her mind about his character—not about his marriage proposal. He was an interesting companion and a loyal friend; nevertheless, she did not like him as a man and, she certainly did not want to marry him.
“Do you think one should marry only for love?” Elizabeth asked her sister while both were working on her beautiful dress.
“Of course!” Jane said with that enthusiasm only she could have. “I cannot imagine anyone other than Charles at my side!”
“My dear,” her sister said, smiling, “just imagine if you had not met Charles…”
“Oh, I cannot, I cannot…” Jane cried. “Why do you want me to have such a horrible thought? Charles is the one; he would have appeared eventually.”
“Yes, of course—then imagine that my chosen one is late to come—or never arrives…”
Jane let the dress fall to the floor. “I do not want you to think that way,” she said dearly hugging her sister. “I am sure your chosen one will come soon, and you will be as happy as I am now!”
Elizabeth smiled indulgently as she always did in the face of her sister’s dreams.
“Yes, Jane, I am also looking for him; still, if such love never appears, do you think a girl can marry a very respectable man with means and a good character and not be in love on her wedding day?”
Jane looked at her with astonished eyes. “Are we talking about someone you have already met?”
Elizabeth hid her eyes in the lace she was applying to her sister’s dress, astonished by Jane’s subtle observation. “No, no, you would be the first to know. However, it is possible to marry without love. Remember Mr Collins…I could have been in Charlotte’s place, living in Hunsford.”
“This morning I find you a little too sorrowful. You have such sad thoughts…Mr Collins? How could you ever have accepted his proposal?”
“Well, first it would have solved our parents’ main problem forever since, married to Mr Collins, I would become the mistress of Longbourn…”
“You cannot marry to solve a problem. It would be unfair for you to live with a man you do not love! And of all the men we know, Mr Collins would be the worst!”
“You are right. However, someone could be a man of character and build a solid marriage on friendship and respect!”
“Nonsense, Lizzy! I know that in the past or even now, some girls marry to gain a certain status or they are forced by their family. Luckily, Mama and Papa have given us the liberty to choose our husbands. Remember, they did not impose anything on you when Mr Collins was lurking in Hertfordshire…”
“Lurking?” Elizabeth had a good laugh. “What a strange word in your mouth, my dear sister, but I cannot say you are not right.”
“To answer your question, I think in certain situations a woman could accept a worthy and honourable man without loving him, yet for me, love is so important. I dare say that it seems impossible for a woman to love her betrothed more than I do Charles…” Her words were like a bird’s trills, her eyes lost for the world as she remembered her lover and his kisses…She would not venture to tell Elizabeth about that.
Then she whispered, as in childhood when they shared a secret, “There is so much you need to know about…love!”
The hesitation made Elizabeth fully understand what she meant. It was not the sentiment but those gestures and acts that accompanied love. Both blushed yet hoped to continue that conversation while they changed the threads and combined ribbons and laces to make little roses they applied at the bottom of the dress, seemingly dedicated to that activity. When, in truth, all they wanted was to share such an essential but intimate thing as what happened after the marriage.
“Lydia, at fifteen years old, had no shame. She…well, she was like a wife to Wickham before marrying,” Elizabeth said, remembering her brother-in-law and the friendship they shared. She wondered whether she would have run away with him if he had asked her. She had certainly liked Wickham once—even better than Mr Darcy, who had indeed proposed
“How do you know they…did…before marriage?” her sister asked in the same shy manner.
“Because it seems they were in bed when he found them,” Elizabeth said.
“He? Who are you talking about?” Jane asked with much curiosity. “Our uncle?”
Elizabeth hesitated for a moment, and she did not know what to do. Telling Jane such a secret meant breaking a promise, but then her sister was to marry Mr Bingley—Mr Darcy’s best friend—and maybe they would find a way together to reward him. Secretly, since the day she found out that Charles proposed to Jane, she had nourished the hope that once he was a member of their family, Mr Bingley would give Mr Darcy the money he had to pay Wickham to marry Lydia.
“Well, my dear, it is not pleasant news, but when our uncle and aunt left in search of the runaways, they were helped in every possible way by Mr Darcy!”
The surprise on Jane’s face was so great that Elizabeth stopped and caressed her cheek. Her sister was still too emotional! She hoped that marriage would bring some equilibrium to Jane’s girlish reactions.
“Oh my!” Jane said, unable to continue their work as her hands were trembling. Fortunately, her dress did not need extra work, so Elizabeth finished the last four roses and took her sister upstairs to dress.
They sat on the little bench at the main window looking in silence at the garden below.
“I am sorry, but I had to tell you this,” Elizabeth said with Jane’s hands in hers. “Papa asked me to thank Mr Darcy on behalf of our family!”
“Of course, Lizzy, you did right to tell me, but it was not a very pleasant event for our family!”
She was silent for a long moment trying to understand and accept such a difficult circumstance—a stranger so involved in her family’s most disturbing event.
“However, it is interesting,” she said, somewhat reflective but calm, “how this revelation answers a difficult question I had for Charles once we are married. I have never understood his friendship with such a man as we thought Mr Darcy to be!”
“Yes, we were so wrong—all of us—but most of all, I was wrong. I can usually predict the character of a person and yet I was never more wrong than in his case. He knew how to find Mr Wickham and convince him to marry Lydia. He even paid him to marry our sister!”
“What?” cried Jane. “My poor sister! What a burden you had on your shoulders! Do not worry. I shall speak to Charles and we shall find a way to give him at least a part of the money; I am sure Charles will agree, as devoted to Mr Darcy as he is!”
They sat hand in hand, incapable of dressing, trying to comfort one another. Elizabeth wished Charles would not appear as often as he did, for she needed more time to spend with her sister who, while seeming to read her mind, said, “Charles is not coming. He sent a letter last night telling me he had to receive the guests who are arriving. It seems that besides Mr Darcy and his sister, Miss Georgiana, the colonel is also coming and some relatives from Nottingham. This evening will be a rather large gathering, and from now until the wedding day, it will be the same.”
The maid knocked at the door, asking whether they needed help dressing, but they laughed and refused. It was so lovely to be together, their mother not around to hurry or scold them, free to discuss the subjects they wanted, so difficult to do when their sisters were around.
“Lydia is our sister, but she is a terrible person, I must confess,” Elizabeth said, “so spoiled and unthinking. It was pure luck to meet Mr Darcy the day we found out about her eloping. Imagine her life if they were not found in time to oblige Wickham to marry her.”
“Imagine our situation!” Jane said and went pale. “Endless shame and no suitors for us for a long time. Yes, we owe a lot to Mr Darcy and our uncle.”
“There is more, my dear!” Elizabeth said, looking at her sister. “Mr Darcy asked me to marry him when we met at Hunsford!”
That was more than Jane could stand—becoming so pale that Elizabeth feared she would faint—but Jane was stronger than her family thought. She looked at her sister and understood the torment Elizabeth had endured during the last months. She blamed herself for being too happy and not seeing the drama around her.
“My mission is difficult this evening,” Elizabeth said, “as my behaviour was so bad at Hunsford! Declining a proposal is always a delicate matter, but instead of being considerate, I was horrid, telling him the most awful things. I hated him then; I dare say I had reasons since his proposal was rather…unusual. Let us say we both behaved in a very inappropriate way. When we met at Pemberley, I wanted to discuss the matter with him and settle it one way or another, but then the shocking news about Lydia arrived, and I no longer had the opportunity.”
Jane was listening with great attention. For weeks, she had been interested only in her wedding and her future husband, thinking that everybody around her was as happy as she was.
“Lately, I have discovered how generous and unselfish he is, and I realise I misjudged him,” Elizabeth continued, unaware of her sister’s torment. “This evening I shall apologise for my behaviour at Hunsford and thank him for his generosity.”
“A difficult task,” Jane agreed, “but I am sure that the casual atmosphere will contribute to a happy ending and we shall regard Mr Darcy from now on as an important and dear friend.”
They dressed in silence, helping one another, and did not request the maid to come in as both sensed their discussion was not over.
“Now I understand better what you meant about marriage without love,” Jane said. “There are men we could not possibly marry like Mr Collins, however…”
“…some are exceptional persons,” Elizabeth finished, “and certain women could imagine life beside such a man without that sentiment we call love. It can be a rational decision to build a married life based on friendship and benevolence.”
“Well, you must be right because many marriages are still made that way! Unfortunately, in a marriage of that kind one loses this…desire…that I feel,” whispered Jane.
“You feel desire?” Elizabeth was so curious that she decided to overcome her sister’s natural shyness on the subject.
“Yes,” Jane continued in the same tone, trying not to look at her sister, “when he kisses me, or embraces me, even when his eyes are on me, I feel I want to be his wife, and each time, I want more.”
Elizabeth stared at her sister in amazement while Jane ran to her bed and buried her face in the pillows. “Stop, stop, I am not comfortable speaking about it!”
“I understand!” Elizabeth said. “But you have to promise me you will tell me more once you are married and this shyness is diminished by your new life.”
Jane looked at her and promised. However, she was not sure she would ever be capable of speaking of such intimate things with her sister.
“Let’s take a walk and continue our discussion,” Jane said, still hoping her betrothed would appear just for a moment…despite his earlier message.
It was a beautiful, sunny morning after several days of rain. Jane could not but observe how well the day complemented her feelings, but then, remembering her sister who was walking in silence beside her, she felt pain and concern again. Elizabeth was not happy. Her questions only showed how tormented she had been all that time. Was she ready to marry a man only to have a husband—regardless of love?
Jane took her sister’s arm in an attempt to be closer and invite her to speak about the problems she had. Yet Elizabeth did not want to diminish the beautiful day for her dear sister.
“I am so happy that you found love and a man who deserves your love. I find Charles to be perfect for you,” Elizabeth said. “But I am also a little sad that our life together—at Longbourn—will end forever.”
“I know, I am happy now, but from time to time, I am scared about my new life—not often, just when I think of the many things the mistress of a house has to do.”
“You do not have to worry. Netherfield is perfectly run, and I see no reason for it not to continue that way. For now, all you have to worry about is sleeping well and having a perfect complexion on the day of your wedding!”
“Tell me you will be with me and help me if I need it.”
