Brides of Arizona, page 41
Lavette nodded. “I’ll try, but only if Mrs. Sawyer’s daughter will be coming to take her to her house.”
“I hope you’ll be there.” Glorianna gave Lavette’s fingers another squeeze, then walked off down the path. Lavette watched her go, Glorianna’s red-gold hair shimmering in the light. Could she trust this woman to be her friend? Her heart wanted to say yes, but her experience said no. The hope that started to blossom faded at that thought. She had no friend, no one to confide in, and right now, she needed someone.
Josiah whistled as he strode down the street toward Conlon’s house. Sunday, his day of rest, always made him want to make music. Then, too, Josiah knew he needed the day off.
This had been a rough week. As much as he liked Lavette, he hadn’t been by to see her after their talk about praying. He’d struggled with that decision, especially after his conversation with Conlon. Still, he felt God wouldn’t want him becoming attached to a woman who was too angry at God to pray.
Quinn had stopped by on Thursday to tell him about rescuing Lavette from Mead. Josiah had to stop work and spend time alone in prayer to keep from looking Mead up and confronting him. Mead would never listen to him. He might end up doing more harm than good.
For the first time since becoming a Christian, Josiah felt as if he were walking alone. Always before, God seemed so close. In prayer time, he could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. When he went through a trial, Jesus was right there, lighting the way and giving him comfort to carry on. This time, Josiah couldn’t sense God anywhere. Maybe this morning’s meeting with the other Christians would help.
Striding up the path, Josiah glanced up at the Sullivans’ porch. A slight figure stood at the door, her hand raised to knock. She lowered her fist, raised it, then lowered it again. She turned and began to leave.
“Lavette?” Josiah couldn’t believe what he was seeing. She started and nearly dropped the dish she held.
“Oh, you scared me.” She looked embarrassed as she shuffled to one side, allowing him to go past her.
“Isn’t anybody home?” Josiah frowned. “We were supposed to have our meeting here.”
“I think they’re home.” Lavette stared at the ground, her fingers kneading the cloth covering what smelled like fried chicken. Josiah’s mind crept back to the times when he stood by his mother as the pieces of chicken popped and spattered in a pan full of grease. The memory brought a strong ache for home and family that he hadn’t experienced in years.
Shaking off the reverie, Josiah recalled Conlon saying Glorianna intended to invite Lavette to the service. “Are you here for the Sunday get-together?” He smiled and guided her to the door, his hand on her back. “Come on. I’ll help you in and introduce you around.”
Lavette glanced up, her eyes wide and fearful. “I don’t know.”
“Come on.” Josiah chuckled. “Remember, the only ones who bite here are Andrew and Angelina. Since they’re babies, you can’t blame them.” He guided her up the steps. “Take warning, though. Don’t stick your finger in the mouth of a child that young.”
She giggled, a wonderful sound. “I don’t recall my brother so much when he was a baby, but those girls were terrible. They chewed everything. My papa said they were worse than a whole litter of puppies.”
He laughed. He hadn’t been this lighthearted since the last time he’d seen her. How he wanted this to mean she was changing toward God! Maybe she would hear something this morning that would help her get rid of her anger and bitterness—something that would help her make peace with Him.
The Sullivans’ parlor couldn’t hold many more people. A pleasant buzz of conversation wound through the air. A mixture of smells emanated from the kitchen area: meats, spices, and sweets. The aroma of cinnamon reminded Josiah of the first day he met Lavette. He took his hand from her back to keep from turning the touch into a caress.
“Lavette, I’m so glad you could come.” Glorianna threaded her way through the gathering to greet them. She took Lavette’s free hand and patted it.
“Does this mean you aren’t glad to see me?” Josiah tried to look offended.
“Oh, Josiah, don’t get your feathers ruffled.” Glorianna wrinkled her nose. “We see you all of the time, and you know how special you are.” She smiled at Lavette. “If I’m not mistaken, you’ve brought fried chicken to share. That smells delicious.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” Lavette’s response could barely be heard over the noise of the crowd. “Where would you like me to put the dish?”
“I’ll take it for you.” Glorianna reached out.
Lavette glanced up, her eyes wide, the whites giving her a look of absolute terror. “Oh, no, Ma’am. I—you have—” Her gaze skimmed the room before settling on Josiah’s face. The pleading look in her eyes begged him to intervene.
“I’ll show her where to put the chicken.” Josiah hoped Glorianna would understand Lavette’s fear of having someone else waiting on her. He grinned to lighten the moment. “I might even have to sample a piece. Maybe two.”
Hands on hips, Glorianna glared at him. “Don’t you dare, Josiah Washington. If I know you, once you start, you won’t stop until everything in there has been tasted.” She gave Lavette a look of mock exasperation, although Josiah wasn’t sure Lavette noticed since her gaze was once again directed toward the floor. “I’ll let him show you, Lavette, but you keep a close eye on him. Don’t let him eat all our lunch before we even have the services.”
The kitchen table and every other available space was piled with cloth-covered dishes and baskets of food. Josiah couldn’t stop his stomach from protesting the fact that he could only look and smell, but not eat. With only coffee for breakfast, he knew he might be embarrassed during the quiet moments of the meeting. Perhaps he could slip just one piece of chicken. He peeked in Lavette’s direction and saw that she watched him, a knowing smile lifting the corners of her mouth.
“You wouldn’t really tell on me, would you?” He started to lift the corner of the cloth over the chicken.
“Oh, no, you don’t.” She swatted his hand. “I remember my papa trying the very same thing. Mama always laughed and slapped his hand.”
“What did your papa do?”
She grinned and tugged his arm away from the dish. “Well, he didn’t starve to death.”
Josiah gave an exaggerated sigh. “Come on. We’d best get back before they start, or Glorianna will be thinking I am sampling all the goodies.” He gestured at the door, but Lavette hesitated. She glanced at him, then at the floor. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t feel like I belong here. Are you sure my coming is all right?”
He put a finger under her chin, tipping her head back until her gaze met his. “Lavette, we’re all glad you’re here. Believe me, Glorianna wouldn’t have invited you if she didn’t want you to come.” He began to escort her out, then stopped.
“One more thing.” He waited until she looked at him. “You don’t have to always examine the floor.” He smiled to take the sting from the words. “You can look at these people and not be afraid. Maybe if you see their expressions, you’ll be more comfortable speaking with them. God has blessed these Christians with a love for all people.” He could feel her withdraw at the thought and waited to give her time to adjust to the new idea.
“I don’t think I can.” Lavette peered at him, her cinnamon eyes bright. “I’m so afraid sometimes.”
Josiah’s heart ached as he pulled Lavette close. He didn’t want to think about what she’d gone through to make her so fearful of others. Leaning his cheek against her head, he whispered, “Stay close to me. Everything will be fine.”
Chapter 12
Squeezed in beside Josiah in one corner of the room, Lavette tried to make herself even smaller, hoping no one would notice her. What had possessed her this morning? Yes, she’d made a promise of sorts to Glorianna. When Mrs. Sawyer announced that she planned to spend the day at her daughter’s house, Lavette felt obligated to attend the service here. She even got permission to fix food to bring. Now, she wished she’d stayed home alone. Josiah was the only one here whom she knew very well, and he’d seemed to be avoiding her lately.
Peeking at the faces of the people clustered in the room, Lavette couldn’t help wondering about those gathered here, as each seemed to have a look of excited expectation. Then again, why shouldn’t they? Other than Josiah, none of the people in this room would have ever suffered the indignity of being bound. To her, God appeared to be the deity for this kind of people. They had every convenience and comfort. He provided well for them while her people suffered all sorts of trials.
Josiah leaned forward and clasped his hands together. Lavette moved to the side, allowing his broad back to hide her further. She twisted her hanky with her fingers to keep from touching him. The thought of resting her cheek against his back, the comfort that would bring, seemed so real she could almost feel the rough cotton of his shirt against her face.
Conlon stood. The conversation died away. An expectant hush settled over the room broken only by the whine of a baby unsure at the sudden change. “Glory and I want to welcome you all to our house. I’ve asked Josiah to lead the singing this week because we all know he’s the only one who can carry a tune.” Conlon grinned and everyone chuckled. Gesturing at Josiah, Conlon sat back down.
“Before we begin, I’d like to introduce you to someone new. In case you haven’t met her, this is Lavette Johnson.” Josiah reached back and plucked Lavette from her hiding place, pulling her forward so everyone in the room could stare at her. She wanted to die, yet at the same time she was filled with wonder that these people were willing to let Josiah speak up like that.
“Miss Johnson is here for a few weeks, and we hope she will join us often.”
A spattering of applause met his statement. Lavette tried to look at the people. She’d been introduced to a few of them before being seated, but she knew she would never be able to put names with faces since she hadn’t looked up at them. No matter what Josiah said, she couldn’t do that. Even after they’d been given freedom at the end of the war, her family always had to show reverence for white folks by lowering their gaze when in the presence of a person of authority. Relief raced through Lavette when Josiah took his hand from her arm, allowing her to sink back behind him once more. From this vantage point, she could peek out at the men and women nestled together like birds in a nest. One of the men across the room seated next to a woman who looked like she’d eaten a green crabapple, stared back at Lavette, a strange expression on his puff-cheeked face. Lavette ducked back behind Josiah, wondering if she’d seen the man before.
Josiah began to lead the singing. Most of the songs weren’t familiar to Lavette, so she sat silently, listening to Josiah’s strong bass. He had a wonderful voice. She began to relax, lulled by the sound of music. Her father used to say that the only way to quiet her when she was an infant was to sing. For as long as she could recall, music brought out her heart and soul. She could hear a song in everyday noises that most people ignored.
The hymns ended and Conlon stood. “Glory and I have been studying the story of Joseph in the book of Genesis. I know most of you are familiar with the tale of how Joseph was a favorite of his father, Jacob. His brothers were so jealous, they sold him into slavery and told Jacob that Joseph died.”
Conlon glanced down at Glorianna. She smiled and nodded. Lavette thought he must not be used to standing up and speaking before others like this. Longing stabbed through Lavette as she watched Glorianna’s obvious devotion to her husband. As Conlon spoke, Glorianna’s eyes shone with love. Some day I want to feel that way about a man. Brushing the thought away, Lavette turned her attention back to Conlon’s dissertation.
“As a young boy, Joseph had several dreams about his brothers and father bowing down to him. Knowing those dreams came from God, I wondered if he got discouraged during his years in bondage. He even spent time in prison for something he didn’t do.”
Watching Josiah, with his open Bible on his lap, nodding at Conlon’s account of Scripture, Lavette could see he wasn’t upset or angry at all. Why did she feel such anger toward God? Hadn’t Joseph suffered in slavery? She could picture Joseph being enraged at his brothers and at the unjust sentence he received. If those dreams truly came from God, then Joseph deserved to be mad. She had chosen to remain in servitude for a good reason, but Joseph had no choice. Lavette couldn’t recall the story in detail, but she knew if she were Joseph, she would never forgive her brothers.
“I know a lot of people who have been betrayed by relatives or friends. They usually struggle with resentment, hatred, and anger. Joseph didn’t have those feelings, and I intend to show you how I know that.” Conlon ran a hand through his hair, leaving some of it to stick up in spikes. Glorianna started to rise, as if she would smooth his hair down. Kathleen, seated next to Glorianna, put a hand on her arm. Glorianna settled back in her chair, an amused twinkle in her eye.
“God began to bless Joseph. I think He did that because Joseph, rather than think of himself and allow those negative feelings toward those who betrayed him, tried to trust God with his life. After years in prison, Joseph became a very powerful man in Egypt because of God’s plan.
“Finally, Joseph was able to confront his brothers. He had power over them. In fact, his dream came true: His brothers had to bow down to him.” Conlon rubbed the back of his neck, staring at the page open in his Bible. “You know, I’ve thought and thought about this story. I can’t imagine being as godly as Joseph. Is everyone familiar with what Joseph said to his brothers after their father’s death?” Conlon paused. A few heads nodded, indicating they knew the verse he referred to. “I’d like to read this part to you.”
As Conlon ran his finger down the page to find the verse, Lavette shifted forward on the seat. She couldn’t wait to hear what Joseph had to say. He’d been a slave and unfairly imprisoned. They shared something in common. Surely, what he said would reflect her feelings, too.
Conlon cleared his throat. “ ‘And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God? But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.’ ”
Stunned, Lavette ignored the murmured comments of the others in the room. Joseph let them off without any blame? Had she heard right? Did Joseph say it was all right for him to be made a slave and thrown into prison because God planned it that way? If that’s true, then what about me and my family, God? Did You intend our slavery to be for our good? I can’t believe that. Lavette fought the familiar anger coursing through her. For so long, she’d blamed God for all the terrible things that happened to her. Now she had a Scripture to show He was responsible. Even so, she couldn’t understand why, and she couldn’t seem to keep her anger. Instead, a hollow ache filled her.
Conlon raised a hand, and the whispered conversations faded away. “I’ve had to think this week about all the times I’ve blamed others for my circumstances, when all along maybe God had a bigger plan. I have the feeling if I’d stayed at home as a young man, I would never have met Jesus in a personal way. Even though I had a lot of rough years, I’m grateful for what I went through simply because God taught me so much. Glory feels the same way. I’d like to open a discussion this morning, where we can share how God used the trials in our lives to help bring us closer to Him.”
Finished speaking, Conlon sat down. Glorianna gave him a loving touch on the shoulder, and he winked at her. She slipped her small hand into his, and Lavette could imagine how wonderful that would feel. Glimpsing Josiah’s work-roughened hands, she thought of the way her father’s callused palms felt on her as a child. What she wouldn’t give to feel a comforting touch right now. She was so confused.
Kathleen began to share her story, telling how her mother was ashamed to have a daughter born with a birthmark. She told of the years of hiding, too embarrassed to let people see her face, and how God taught her compassion for others because of what she endured.
Deputy Kirby told of the anger and hatred he carried with him and how God showed him the need to forgive others. Unbeknownst to him, the man Quinn despised married his sister. If he hadn’t met Jesus before he went back home and discovered that truth, he might have been responsible for misery in his sister’s life. He smiled and picked up his wife’s hand, saying he was grateful to God for using the trials to bring him and Kathleen together.
Several others shared a testimony of God leading them through difficult times and the resulting good that came from it. Lavette wanted to scoff because none of the ones who were talking had ever been a slave, yet after the story of Joseph, she couldn’t say anything. He had been a slave and not only forgave, but when his brothers felt guilty over what they’d done, Joseph comforted them and took care of them and their families.
The sound of Josiah’s stomach rumbling brought Lavette out of her reverie. He grinned at her. She bit her lip to keep from laughing, wondering if anyone else heard.
“I think we should end the meeting with a song, then eat before Josiah starves.” A spattering of chuckles followed Conlon’s announcement.
“Josiah, why don’t we try that song you taught us this week?” Glorianna and Kathleen spoke at the same time. They grinned at each other and Glorianna continued. “We can do all the verses if you have the strength.”
“I can probably manage.” Josiah rubbed his stomach. “I’ll do much better if you promise I can be first in line for lunch.”
“Oh, no, you don’t.” Quinn glowered at Josiah in mock anger. “We want some food left for us.”
Josiah held up a hand in surrender. “I promise to save you a little. After all, I wouldn’t want to be arrested for stealing all the grub.” They all laughed.
“Like I told the Sullivans and the Kirbys, I hadn’t heard this song for years. In fact, I forgot I even knew it until I heard Lavette singing one day. Hearing the words brought back memories from when my mama and her friends used to sing this.” Josiah flashed Lavette a wide smile. His dark gaze warmed her.
