Heph: Modern Descendants 3, page 5
“We should get back.” My voice quivered as I spoke, despite wanting to sound strong, stand my ground, and resist him. He dropped his hold so quickly it was almost as if I imagined it happened. The brushes on my cheek lingered and the pain in my chest returned. I stepped back.
He began to walk to the other side of his car. I remained still, as if one with the leaves on the forest floor.
“We can drive,” he said, holding the passenger side door open. Instantly my head swung to the back seat. My heart raced as I stared at the dark, empty space.
“I think I’ll walk.”
His brow pinched, and he stared at my face. The intensity forced me to look at the backseat again.
“I’ll walk,” I repeated. “I need some more air.” He gently shut the door, crossing to the driver side.
“I’ll walk with you. I can come back later to get the car.” His eyes searched my face but he’d find no answers there. My secrets were buried deep, no longer burning a hole in me.
“That’s okay. I’ll be fine.” I smiled too broadly, adding false cheer to my tone.
“It isn’t safe.” His voice grew deeper.
“I’m fine,” I argued. Heph stopped before me. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, steeling myself to speak the next words. “I’d like to be alone for a few minutes.” He stilled at my words, bit his lip again and nodded, allowing me my privacy, as I lied. Did he think I was rejecting him? It was quite the opposite. I wanted him, but I couldn’t have him. Being in his arms brought to life how lonely I could feel at times, despite the affection of the girls. Heph felt like safety and security, but thoughts of my sister, Adara, willed me to step back. Heph stepped aside, waving a hand before him to proceed. My head hung, and my feet tread heavily as I walked away from him, feeling as if I had just run away from home. Only I knew what that felt like, and this felt nothing like the first time.
+ + +
“What are you making?”
The rugged tone at my ear startled me, and I flinched, swiping the hot material over the flame and melting the glass strip too much.
“Shit,” I muttered, pushing back the safety goggles with my wrists.
“I’m sorry,” Heph said. “What was it?”
Still holding the glass rod to sculpt beads and the hot mandrel needed to form the circular shape, I spun to face him, finding his presence too close. My breasts brushed over his too tight T-shirt and when I took a deep breath, the force dragged them up his chest. His hands came to my hips, and I lost all thought. Had he asked me something? Creamy chocolate stared back at me and I wanted to lick him to see if he tasted the same as those delicious eyes. Our stance reminded me of days ago when we stood by his car.
I shook my head briefly. What was wrong with me? A trickle of sweat riveted down my forehead toward my eye. With both hands still occupied, and my goggles perched on my hair, I couldn’t help myself. A thick finger rose in my peripheral view and instinct kicked in. I flinched in the opposite direction and swung the fiery rod at him. A fierce motion halted the impact I anticipated, and I turned my head upward, still bent at the waist, ducking from the intent of his hand. My breaths came heavy, sharp and quick. My chest rose and fell rapidly, as my heart raced.
“Are you okay?” he asked me, staring down at the awkward position of my head nearly resting on his thigh.
“I…” I stood taller instantly. Attempting to step back, I bumped into the flamethrower behind me. Heph held my wrist, the hot rod in my hand raised in the air. The flamethrower at my back jostled and Heph reached around me to settle the machine and turn the dial to the off position. The movement brought him even closer to me, and my nose rubbed over his gray T-shirt, inhaling the manly scent of him. Heat and cedar clouded my senses. My lids closed, and my lips pressed forward to the soft material matching the cotton of his boxers hidden in my room. I don’t know what came over me. We stood in this position for what felt like eternity. My mouth pressed over his heart, feeling the vibration through his shirt as it beat against my lips in a steady rhythm. I wanted to crawl inside him and wrap the sound around me. Our awkward embrace felt familiar and strangely comfortable. A cough to the side of us forced him to step back, and I licked my lips, savoring what I’d done and attempting to hide them in my embarrassment.
“Don’t let me interrupt,” Ember giggled, walking behind Heph and continuing on to her work station. My eyes closed and my head fell forward, which only brought my forehead back to Heph’s chest as he remained close. The last one-hundred and twenty seconds rushed through my memory and I realized I tried to strike him with the heated mandrel. My head sprang upward.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, embarrassed by kissing his shirt, resting on his chest and overreacting to his touch.
“What happened?” That infamous question coated me in warmth from his too-close breath. I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t even hint at the damage I had done, or what had been done to me. I shimmied my shoulder and tried to arch my back away from him. The flamethrower jabbed my lower back, and he slid me to the side as if we danced. His large body still blocked me from making any other move to escape him.
“You startled me.”
“I…I only wanted to wipe the sweat.” His brows pinched, accentuating the scar on his head and the healing gash. A few things became clear. A fight. His lover with another man. He’d been defending someone when he incurred that cut.
“I…I forgot what I was doing.” The answer wasn’t enough of an explanation. How could I forget I held a hot instrument in my fist? The nature of my motion turned it into an instant weapon. “I…you can’t touch me.” His thick fingers released my wrist. His other hand removed from my waist. He stepped back with raised palms like he had when I held the arrow at his lower region. My eyes closed at the memory. Oh my God, to think what I’d almost done to him.
“Are you okay?”
And the correct answer always remained: “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine. You look pale.”
My natural skin tone was white. Not peachy, not creamy, not nude, but china doll white. I couldn’t get any paler. His hands lowered like he wished to cup my face. I recalled the pleasure of his touch on my cheek days before. In an effort to recall it late at night, I rubbed my fingers gently on the warm skin. My own touch did not replicate his.
“I…” he began.
“Please don’t.” I didn’t trust myself. One of two things would happen: I’d burst into flames to hurt him or I’d overheat at the contact…and burst into flames with excitement. He wouldn’t understand, and I couldn’t explain. I was different.
A small part of me put faith in Heph’s understanding that Hestia was unique herself, and if he had years of knowledge about her, he’d know that certain things were unexplainable. Hestia made me understand myself. I was unique, she lovingly told me. I, however, did not think I could explain it to Heph.
“I didn’t mean anything.” His rugged voice lowered, and his head hung in that submissive way. For a large man, his spirit spoke of tenderness. He did not wish to be unkind, and he hadn’t been.
“I overreacted.” The words raised his head.
“Why? Do I frighten you?” His brow pinched. “Because I’m big?” He took another step back. A thick finger circled his face. “Because of this?”
My mouth fell open, and I blinked at him.
“Are you…You can’t be serious?”
“Yes.” His lids blinked in response, surprise in his expression.
“Heph,” I laughed nervously. “Surely you don’t think your face frightens me?”
“It has, obviously.”
“I think you’re handsome.” What? How lame did that sound?
“Handsome?” His brow crinkled and the gash cracked from the motion, the tender scab split open.
“Your…your head is bleeding,” I said as distraction. I don’t know why I stuttered. I don’t know why I pointed with the mandrel still in my hand. Thick fingers rose and swiped at his forehead. Pulling them down for inspection, he saw the blood and excused himself. The instant he stepped away, my shoulders relaxed, and then they fell. I missed the heat of him, the scent and the comfort of his nearness. I spun to brace myself on the work station, letting the mangled glass rod and cooling mandrel fall on the hard surface.
“I’d say get a room, but that’s not allowed,” Ember teased behind me. “You okay, honey? That looked kind-of intimate.”
“He’s promised to Adara.” My voice defended my sister, but rose harsher at the thought.
“I don’t know about that. I think it was history. Past tense.” Her hand came to my back and rubbed gently.
I spun to face my friend. Ember was closest in age to me and had learned to control her power. Her wild orange hair piled on her head and her special safety goggles covered her eyes, giving her the appearance of a mad scientist. I had to laugh, and my shaky hands came to her shoulders.
“Well, there is no present tense for me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be intimate with someone, especially not him.” The nervous laughter turned to silly crocodile tears. Strangely, I wanted to be intimate with him, but I didn’t know how without hurting him. And I didn’t want to hurt Adara, if she still had feelings for him.
“Oh, sweetie, it will happen. Someday. You’ll be whole again.”
The problem was, with Heph standing so close to me, I already felt whole, and it frightened me.
heph
“What happened to Phyre to make her so edgy?” I demanded of Seraphine as she dabbed at the cut and applied two sterile strips.
“What happened to you?”
“I went to touch her face and she nearly stabbed me.”
Seraphine tossed her head to the side, a motion to move her jet-black and bright blue bangs.
“Well, Hephie, maybe you shouldn’t touch girls you hardly know.” One eyebrow rose and twitched before she smiled in earnest at me. “You better be careful here. You’ve got two girls vying for your attention. Surely, someone’s going to lose.”
“Seraphine,” I sighed, my shoulders falling in disbelief.
“Why don’t you just ask her what happened? I’m sure she’ll tell you.” Seraphine inspected her work a final time.
“You know I’m not good with words. I can’t just say, what’s wrong with you?”
“Heph, of course not. That would be insensitive.” On that note, she held the cleaning agent on a cotton ball against my head for a moment longer than necessary.
“Of course, I think you need to go with Plan A. Adara for the A, in case you don’t understand.”
“Ha,” I snorted. “Why?”
“Because she…she’s crushing on you hard, and you owe her.”
“How do I owe her?” Did no one see how badly Adara wanted to leave? Wanted to branch out on her own? Hestia’s Home wasn’t a prison. The girls could go, but comfort kept them close. Could no one notice a member wanted to separate from the fold?
“You led her on. If you don’t want her, you need to lead her off.”
“What?” I chuckled, knowing Seraphine had it wrong, but I would not betray Adara. She had seduced me. Slipping into my room last night replicated the way she came to me in the past. The first time it happened, she startled me. I remember her sliding through the door, her back falling against it and the intensity in her eyes. She asked me to kiss her, and not willing to turn down a beautiful woman, I did.
“Oh, Hephie.” Seraphine shook her head, and I wondered how women who had been removed from men for years had any more knowledge about relationships than me.
“Did you enjoy Adara last night?”
“How did you…” Irritation rose in my voice. I would not betray my night with Adara either. We had agreed. I would help her find the strength to talk with Hestia, but our sexual affair would not rekindle.
“There aren’t many secrets here.”
If what Seraphine implied was true, and she believed I’d slept with Adara last night, no wonder Phyre removed herself from me. No wonder she wanted to stab me. I had no tolerance for infidelity, and I didn’t think any of these girls did either. In fact, I knew that’s how Adara and Ashin ended up here. Ashin’s husband tried to bed their younger sister Eshne, and Adara inflicted enough bodily harm that he’d never have a woman again.
“Nothing happened.” I looked away, dismissing the discussion.
“That’s what men always say.” She patted my knee and stood from the stool where she sat.
+ + +
A few nights later, Phyre and I had dishes duty. While she washed, I dried, and we worked in awkward silence. Normally not a man of words, I couldn’t take the quiet. With her hands plunged in the water, I came up behind her, but not too close.
“Tell me how I scared you the other day? What did I do, so I don’t do it again?” I thought a lot about her response. Her eyes when they looked at the back seat of my car matched the horror in them when she went to stab me with the hot stick.
“You didn’t do anything. It was all me.” Her eyes remained on the dish in her hand, but her fingers circled the plate more than necessary.
“I don’t want to frighten you.”
“You don’t,” she said, handing me the dish to dry. I stepped closer. The faintest brush of her behind over the seam of my jeans ignited a flame as instant as the flamethrowers in the studio. I set the dish aside.
“It was nothing.” She leaned forward to continue scrubbing dishes, forcing her ass back. I didn’t move. The columns of my arms came to rest on the sink, pinning her before me.
“What’s going on, then?” I muttered behind her ear, sensing my nearness disturbed her, but not in a negative way tonight.
“I’m washing dishes,” she giggled, and those tiny sparks from a bonfire crackled before us.
“Can I ask you something?” She continued to circle the pan in her hand, rubbing around and round without any friction. Her face looked up and met my reflection in the black backdrop of the window over the sink.
“Were you watching me the other night?” I reached for a loose tendril of hair from her ponytail and wrapped the piece behind her ear. Through the reflection, I noticed her eyes closing.
“I…”
“Did you like what you saw?” I could not believe I was asking her this, but I had to know. It had been on my mind for days. Her eyes sprang open.
“It…” Her throat rolled. My mouth curled up as her lids fell closed again, as if recalling a memory. “It made me…I…I didn’t expect…”
“Did you come?” The thought startled me. The question surprised her. The words echoed loudly in the otherwise empty kitchen.
“No,” she snapped, but her eyes reflected in the window spoke the truth.
My hands circled her upper arms and dragged up to her shoulders. Massaging over them, I slipped down between her shoulder blades. I caressed in soothing swirls until I found the small of her back. My palms circled each side of her waist. My cheek lowered to scrape over hers and my lips pressed to her neck.
“Then you know, thinking of you, made me come, too.”
My nose traced the curve of her ear, and my lips kissed the tip. Palms slipped to the flat of her stomach, and I pressed her back, letting her feel what she did to me against her backside. Her head tipped, exposing her neck to me, and I sucked at the spot where her jaw curled into her throat.
“I don’t want to just think of you, though. I want to experience you. Every curve, every dip, every fold. All of you around all of me.”
She exhaled and sagged against me. Instantly, she was in my arms, cradled to my chest, and I carried her out the back door, remaining dishes forgotten. Her arms looped around my neck and in a hushed tone, she told me to put her down. In the darkness between the house and the studio barn, I stalked on.
“I want you,” I muttered, kissing under her ear.
“Heph, it doesn’t work that way,” she whispered though no one could hear her.
“Yes, it does.” This was me. I spoke what I wanted when I wanted it.
“Not for me.” Her hands slipped from my neck and pressed against my chest. I don’t know where she thought she’d go. I held her firmly against me.
“Why?” Truthfully, I didn’t understand.
“Because you slept with Adara a few nights ago.”
I stopped. Releasing her legs, her feet fell to the earth with a thud.
“I did not have sex with Adara,” I huffed.
“She came to your room.”
“And she left it,” I huffed again, rubbing a hand down my face.
“When?”
Adara and I talked. There had been tears, and I held her. She fell asleep, and I let her rest in my arms, needing the connection to someone myself. I understood her loss. She couldn’t have me because she couldn’t give to me. And I couldn’t have Lovie, because Lovie was never meant for me, honestly.
“You know what, I don’t need the details. In fact, I don’t want them.” She stepped left, but I followed her. Holding up a hand, Phyre stopped me.
“Phyre, you can’t deny this.” I don’t even know where the plea came from. Cupping her cheeks, the spark between us ignited ten-fold. A bonfire burned between us with only this simple skin-on-skin contact. Thoughts of her under me, forced me to swell. Instantly, I was full length and full of desire. I needed inside this girl. The result would be an inferno.
“I…I have to…” Her fingers circled my wrists and tugged them downward. “I’m not who you think.”
“I don’t know what to think. I just know that from the moment I saw you, you pierced my tire and my soul. Every moment I spend with you leads me to wanting more and beneath it all I feel I’ve known you for ages, and I want to figure out how. I want to make certain I never lose you again. This connection with you is so real, so present, so intense. It’s like…like a…like a fire inside me.”
