Heph: Modern Descendants 3, page 12
She spun to face me, fire in her eyes.
“None. To have a lover you’d have to have someone love you first.” Spinning back to the trail, she marched on, and I followed her lead.
“What? You said you weren’t a virgin.”
Her hand rose to dismiss me, and Hestia’s tale returned to me.
What happened to her?
She stopped so abruptly I almost smacked into her, but almost as quickly she spun and stomped forward. Taking large steps, I matched her pace but fell behind her, giving myself a second to cool down before we reached the temple. A circular structure of marble and stone, the twelve columns and open dome roof set the place apart from the rustic barn and country home of Hestia. Built a long time ago, this space was Hestia’s private spot for reflection and worship, but over time she allowed her girls to find solace and peace here, if needed. Phyre was almost to the marble steps when she spun on me again.
“You want to know what happened to me?” Her breaths rose so quickly, I could see the beat of her heart within her chest. “I was…I was…” Her eyes closed, and I didn’t need to hear the word. “He was there, and I didn’t want him to be. So I burned him. Alive.” Her breath hitched before lowering to a sob. I stepped closer but her raised hand stopped me. No tears fell and she caught her breath.
“I don’t know why I believed him. He told me I was safe with him. He took me across the state of Idaho. I’d traveled all the way here from the East Coast. I was so close, and then him. I believed in him. But the back seat…” She exhaled, blowing out air through hollow cheeks. “He pulled me into the back seat along the highway.” Her head shook.
“Phyre, stop,” I warned, but she continued.
“I heard him scream and call me names. I don’t know how I escaped from under him. By some grace of the gods, I got over the front seat, locked the door, sealing him inside and sparked the gas tank. I didn’t look back, Heph. I let him burn in hell like he deserved for what he did to me.”
My heart ached, but more importantly, I wanted to rip down the structure behind her. I wanted to throw giant stones and crush the trees surrounding us. I wanted to tear the grass from the earth. I quivered and quaked with hatred for a man touching her in such a manner.
“There were only a few others before him. Ones who said they loved my hair, thought me beautiful. Ones who said they’d help me. None of them understood me.” She raised both hands and shook them before me. “How could they understand? I’m not normal, Heph.” Her voice trembled, but still no tears fell. “I bet Callie is normal.”
Stepping into her space, she stepped back and hit the edge of a column.
“I don’t want Callie. And I don’t know why I’m coming across sounding like a player, because I’m not. There’s only one person I want.” I reached for her face, brushing my fingers into her hair. My other hand followed and pinned her cheeks so she would look up at me. “I only want one girl, Phyre. You.” My lips brushed over her mouth, but hers remained still.
“I’m going to be your secret, right? Another Adara, as you aren’t allowed to be with me. And then you’ll go away and never think of me again, Heph.”
“I…” I wanted her to come with me when I left.
“I can’t go with you, Heph. I don’t know how to be out there,” she waved in the direction behind me, “and you cannot stay here.” She was correct. I couldn’t. This was Hestia’s Home for women. I was only a visitor. I shook my head, but her hands covered my wrists and removed the gentle grip I had on her face.
“I’m already a dirty little secret, Heph. I don’t need to be yours as well.” She brushed past me, and although I reached for her, I let her slip from my fingers. My head hung as she walked away.
+ + +
That night the fire burned in the pit and again we sat around it. Hades and Persephone quietly sat holding hands, her head on his shoulder. Veva nearly sat on Solis’ lap. The other girls watched, some with longing, others with regret. I thought of Phyre, who sat opposite me, near her youngest sister, Flame. Her voice spoke of regret. She wasn’t normal, but that’s what I loved about her. She was broken, but I could mend her. I wanted to take her horrors and burn them alive. I wanted to lock the door and keep the demons away for her. I wanted to protect her from ever having to face such sin again. But her avoiding eyes told me I would not win her over.
Hestia had her rules, but there was no denying how I felt about Phyre. Phyre’s eyes travelled to mine through the smoky flames, and then quickly flicked away. She chewed at her lips, and my mouth watered to nip her there. I just wanted to hold her. I wanted to assure her that everything would be alright. We could work something out. I looked at my cousin Hades for inspiration. I didn’t want to feel hopeless like him.
Suddenly, headlights from a vehicle swiped over the yard. The sharp rumble of gravel nearing the home sent the girls into panic, each reaching for the other’s hands. I stood with fear for their safety. Slamming doors and heavy crunch of feet startled us all. Instantly, Hestia stood beside me.
“By gods, is nowhere sacred from him?” Solis grumbled near my back as a large man, similar in stature to myself, with good looks like Solis, approached our modest gathering. Another man followed beside him, equally as imposing.
“Hestia, I hear you are harboring a fugitive.” The booming tenor of his tone, reminding me of Solis, revealed our father standing before us. To my left, Flame fled from the circle, her powerful legs, pushing fast for such a tiny frame.
“Hades, go after her,” Zeke demanded.
“I’ll follow you,” Solis offered, and the two began a brisk walk toward the woods where Flame disappeared.
“Zeke, how dare you?” Hestia admonished, her best attempt to scold apparent on her face. “You know we are all fugitives here.” Her arms fisted on her hips, her thin dress rising upward in her stance.
“You know I love you like a brother, but what is the meaning of this?” She swiped a hand dismissively before her. Her attention caught as she took a double take at the second man. He approached her, kissing her tenderly once on each cheek.
“Beautiful as ever, Hestia.” Her eyes followed his withdrawal.
“How long has it been, Pollo? How wonderful to see you, again, too.” Something stopped her, and she turned on Zeke once again. “What’s going on here?”
Pollo had blond ringlets of hair, in contrast to the snow white of the man next to him. Smaller in height, his body was slimmer. His smile was bright, like he’d just told a joke, and the laughter lingered on his lips. At the sight of something behind us, that mouth lowered and puckered in consternation. Solis tugged a young man at his side, while Flame marched next to Hades, and Temple, the stable guard, followed behind. A gathering crowd filled the yard.
Flame’s face was streaked in soot, her hair wild, with a piece of hay stuck to the side of her head. On further inspection, an odd-looking creature stood under Solis’ protection. My eyes narrowed to take in the sight. Subtle horns stood higher than his dark brown hair. His chin was covered with a goatee. His chest rose, bare despite the chill, and hairy legs stood atop hooved feet. He was half-man, half-goat, and I blinked as if in a dream.
“Who’s this?” Hestia asked, stepping closer to examine this strange appearance.
“A thief,” Pollo snarled.
“Step into the light, my child.” Hestia held out a hand to guide the creature, who stood the size of a man, but looked the age of me. Crossing closer to the fire, the full essence of his strangeness heightened, as if he had morphed and got stuck half in each form. This couldn’t be.
“Who are you, child?” Hestia soothed.
“My name is Pan.”
“And what have you to do with Flame?” The sharpening of Hestia’s tone concerned me. The accusation was clear. Flame had been sneaking off to see this young creature and with that came consequences.
“It wasn’t for me.” His eyes shifted to Flame and back as his voice trembled with a bray.
“I tried to help,” Flame defended, her head suddenly high, defiant, despite the hay sticking from her hair.
“You wanted to help him,” Pan snapped, peering at her. Flame lowered her head.
“Still, if he was going to hurt you, I would have stopped him.”
“Oh yeah, how?” The words cut Flame, and her eyes flared. The blue danced with righteous anger, to prove who she was and what she could do.
“Flame,” Phyre barked, attempting to redirect her sister’s attention. Flame’s head whipped to her sister and they stared, a silent conversation ensuing. Flame nodded once, collecting herself.
“Just trust that I would not let Puma find you.” Flame offered, weakly.
“And who is Puma?” Zeke’s voice boomed in frustration.
“He’s the thief, not me.” Pan defended, struggling under the hold of Solis.
“Return what you stole, and Pollo will forgive you.” Zeke demanded.
“I don’t have anything, I swear.” Pan’s wild, black eyes returned to Flame, pleading for her support.
“I can vouch for that,” Temple offered in his masculine voice. A quiet man by nature, I felt safer knowing Hestia had someone like him near to protect her if need be.
“If you don’t have them, who does?” Zeke asked.
“I do,” came another voice, and behind Pan stood a stunning man with a leonine face and whiskey-colored eyes. “I’m Puma.”
Dismissed from the trial about to ensue, Flame and her entourage of two were escorted to the house with Zeke, Pollo, and Hestia. The rest of us remained in wonder at what Flame had done and how these two young men were involved.
+ + +
I was afraid to leave Phyre that night. The girls huddled close, and eyes drifted to the house often. Her eyes reached for mine and then looked away each time I caught them. I wanted to ease the tension, but did not know how to help. In small groups, people stood separate from the fire for a few minutes. Hades and Persephone headed for the woods. Solis and Veva turned for the barn and the room next to mine in the loft. Adara, Ashin and Seraphine went for the house. Only Ember and Phyre remained.
“I guess we should go in as well,” Ember hinted after a few minutes of awkward silence. Ember. How appropriate her name for the coloring of her hair and the dying flame of the fire. She seemed to be the closest to Phyre; alliances formed even among sisters. Her eyes searched her friend’s, and Phyre pointed to direct them to the house. My fists clenched at my sides, fighting the desire to capture her and drag her to my room.
“Phyre,” I choke-coughed. “Could I speak to you?”
Ember walked away slowly, but I guided Phyre to follow. I didn’t want her walking alone outside the house, for some strange reason. Learning of the nearness of two strange men did not settle well with me. As we stopped just outside the front entrance, Phyre turned to me. Reaching for her hand, I noticed her trembling.
“What is it?”
“Nothing,” she shivered, but her eyes lied. I lifted her hand and opened her curled fingers. Placing her palm to my lips, I kissed her there. Her breath hitched, and I withdrew, but did not release her. My thick fingers dragged over her soft palm pad, tracing over deep lines, sensing the heat beneath the skin. I continued to caress the inside of her hand, and then flipped it as if examining the veins that fed her life. The pad of my thumb stroked over her thin skin.
“I don’t want you to go to bed angry with me.” I could not draw my eyes from her hand. “I just want to go to bed with you.”
Our eyes shot up at the same time.
“To sleep. I want to hold you in my arms as I take you in my dreams.” I stepped closer to her. “Give me your fears.”
Her head shook and lowered to rest on my chest. My arms wrapped around her and drew her near. She trembled against me; I figured the presence of my father and the situation with Flame frightened her.
“I don’t want to leave you tonight,” I said, and her hands came to my flannel shirt and fisted in the fabric, tugging me closer to her cheeks. She hadn’t spoken to me, and the desire to carry her away to my room returned.
“You shouldn’t sneak into the house. Not tonight. And the loft is too crowded. I’ll see you tomorrow, Heph,” she said, pulling back from me.
“Promise?” My voice nearly squeaked, like a teenager reaching puberty. Fear filled me that I’d lose her in the night. She stepped back and wrapped her arms around herself.
“Tomorrow.”
phyre
The arrival of Zeke frightened me to my core for two different reasons. On the verge of breaking, Ember followed me to my room.
“Are you okay? You’re shaking.” My hands trembled, and my fingers tingled. I needed the flame to calm me. Ember’s presence held off the opening of my private stash under the cushions at my window, since it was a blatant disregard of the house rules.
“Zeke is Heph’s father.” I stated the obvious. Similar in stature, Heph stood larger but Zeke’s aura outweighed the height difference. His booming voice and angry brow as he spoke of Flame and fugitives scared me.
“He’s been here before. I guess I had forgotten you haven’t met him.” Ember began. “The friendship goes back a long time between Hestia and Zeke. She’s older than him, and much wiser, but she lets him think he has the upper hand.” She winked. “Something about three sisters and three brothers. Each boy loved a girl. In Zeke’s case, he loved two of them. Hestia was not one of them. The number of his children rivals the stars, Hestia jokes.” I nodded, knowing Ember rambled to soothe my trembling and force my concentration from the man on the first level who was demanding an explanation of our sister, Flame, and her nightly wanderings. She also distracted me from another man, who wanted me to come to him tonight. I needed Heph. I wanted him to hold me and tell me things were fine, but I fought the urge, afraid that giving into his comfort made me weak. A shaky hand swiped over my forehead, and Ember didn’t miss the trembling.
“What is it?”
“When the lights filled the yard and the heavy stomping came at us, I thought I’d been found.” I looked over at my sister. We never had visitors this close to the house without warning, and Hestia often spoke of an invisible force that kept us safe. Her teasing tone made me take the words as jest. Heph was the first vehicle I’d ever seen stray so near. It was part of the reason I attempted to stop him.
“After all this time, I feared someone had finally found me and knew what I’d done to Randy.” I hadn’t spoken his name in a year. The hatred I felt in trusting someone so easily and then being taken advantage of erupted inside me at the mention of his name. “I would be damned for the sin I committed, only to meet him in hell.”
“You aren’t going to hell for protecting yourself.” Ember crossed the room and covered my shoulders with tender fingers. A gentle shake attempted to re-enforce her words. “No one is going to find you here. And no one is going to take you away from here.” Our eyes met. It was never going to be safe to leave, and Heph would go eventually. “Unless you want to go.” Her voice faltered. We talked among ourselves at times about the world out there, but for the most part, the world at Hestia’s was peaceful and problem-free. It hadn’t crossed our minds too often that more existed beyond the woods. We had each seen the more and it wasn’t pretty.
“He can’t stay.” I whispered so softly I wasn’t certain Ember heard. Nodding her head proved she did.
“You really like him, don’t you?” Her brow pinched.
“It’s more than that. I think I love him.” A tear slipped from my eye and I briskly wiped it away. “That’s silly, isn’t it? I don’t really know for certain how he feels about me. I don’t really know him. And it’s only been a few weeks.”
Ember’s hands slipped to my wrists, circling them and holding onto me, encouraging me to speak freely.
“But whenever I’m near him, I feel at peace. He…he centers me. I’ve felt restless at times, but when I’m near him, it disappears. I want to crawl in his lap and live there. Make him my home.” I laughed hesitantly at how ridiculous my words sounded, and yet how true, as another tear dripped down my cheek. Ember wiped it with the pad of her hand.
“My dream for all of us is that feeling. Whether from our home or from a man. I still believe in love, although it doesn’t exist for me. Not in a conventional way. I suppose I’m more like Hestia. I’m truly happy here. I don’t have a desire to be touched by a man. I’m perfectly content alone.” Ember paused a beat, and my brow pinched in question. She couldn’t mean that. We weren’t actually alone at Hestia’s, but there were moments of loneliness. Had she not felt them? “But I know Adara feels differently, and I can see you do, too.”
“I guess none of it matters. I don’t feel safe to leave alone, and it’s not that I’m unhappy to stay. I just…I just…Heph…” I didn’t know what to say further. I couldn’t describe how it felt. His touch on my skin. His mouth on my lips. The way he looked at me. “Heph will have to leave either way. He can’t stay here.” The thought brought me to my second fear from Zeke. As his father, knowing he arranged a marriage for his son, Zeke’s appearance reiterated that Heph lived another life. He didn’t belong here and I sensed Heph would leave our home sooner than intended. Panic filled me, erupting into fear that I’d never experience Heph in the way of my dreams, if he left too soon. How futile to waste time fighting with him if I couldn’t keep him here—and I couldn’t. Hestia’s Home was for women.
“Maybe you and Adara should leave together. Take a break, a vacation. Go out and see what you think you are missing.” I stared off from Ember. I couldn’t be with Adara. Her silence the past weeks spoke of her disapproval at whatever was happening between Heph and me. Her quiet also whispered her disappointment. She’d had the chance to leave with him. He could have taken her away, but she failed at her escape. By not loving him immediately, he left. Would the same happen to me? If I didn’t give into my desires, would the flame burn out too soon?
