“Why are you fighting this?” he asks almost painfully.

  Could it be because you just had your penis in another woman hours ago?

  I hop off the couch and return the wine glass to the kitchen.

  “Time for bed, Don Juan. Goodnight.”

  I scurry off to my room without so much as a glance back to Cesar.

  I shut my door and lean my head against the back of it.

  Shit, the one question I had been dying to know and forgot to ask was when he was with that woman...why did he say my name?

  Chapter Five

  I am afraid to open my door in the morning. Will Cesar be in the living room half-naked? Will he be gone?

  I wasn’t sure which one I wanted more. I needed to assess the situation. First, a hot guy wants me. A seriously hot guy. I mean, he asked me to sleep with him last night, right? I’m pretty sure he was serious about it. At least I thought he was, but now I’m not too sure.

  My brain is quite foggy with all of the events from last night. Between the wine and the severe case of sleep deprivation I’m dealing with, I’m just not sure if he was serious or playing with my head.

  And then there’s the whole thing I witnessed yesterday. Him and the woman. I can’t shake the image of Cesar saying my name as he came. I want to know why he said it. Was it simply because I had walked into the room? If another server had walked in, would he have said her name too? I mean the way our eyes connected when I entered the break room, was more intense than anything I’ve ever felt. Was it real or did I imagine it?

  With bravery and pride, I exit my room and search my little house high and low, but that fucker is nowhere to be found. Where did he go? Why did he go, is what I’m really thinking. No note. Nothing. But, I continue on with my daily routine, and when it ‘s time to get ready for work I wonder if he’ll be there.

  It’s Saturday night, so chances are high I will see him again, and I don’t know why but I am nervous. Walking into work, my eyes search everywhere for him. I don’t want to come off needy, or psycho but let’s face it- I kind of feel both.

  My coworker Marissa corners me in the break room as I stash my bag into my locker. Her long brown curls and deep dark eyes sparkle with excitement.

  “Hey, so I think tonight is the night,” she says as she stands next to me. Wearing a tight white t-shirt a few sizes too small and even tighter jeans, her red lips curve into a smile.

  “I’m sorry?” I turn around to face her with a half-grin.

  Her deep red lips and saucy attitude is something I’ve always liked about her.

  “I think tonight I am gonna try to sleep with Cesar.”

  Scratch the part about liking her, right now I want to rip her eyeballs out. Why am I getting so upset? I shouldn’t be getting so angry, but something inside of me snaps and now this little prima donna standing in front of me can tell I am agitated. Not good.

  I continue placing my bag in my locker as she grabs my arm. “Hey chica, you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’ve just had a lot on my mind,” I say. Yeah, like a lot of Cesar Drake.

  I can’t shake him; every time I close my eyes he is the only thing I can see. If he ends up fucking Marissa, I will want to quit, walk out the door and never look back. Of course, the only loser in that scenario is me. Why mess up my money because I’m jealous for no good reason? Cesar is no one to me. Just a crazy coworker who bullied his way into my house for the night.

  I shrug off Marissa and pretend I am fine as we make our way out into the club. The place has not opened yet, and we are busy setting up when Cesar strolls through the front doors looking fuckable as hell.

  His long torso is covered by a dark gray t-shirt with the club’s logo across the front, tight jeans, and what was this…a cowboy hat? I’ve never thought cowboy hats were sexy until Cesar Drake decided to put one on his gorgeous head.

  He walks in like he doesn’t have a care in the world, and when he sees me…gawking, yes, I was gawking…he winks.

  Fuck me. I am such an embarrassment.

  He strolls behind the bar and high-fives Mark the other bartender. They chuckle to each other like they are in a high school gym locker room and I blow out a breath and turn away.

  The club is sure to be busy on a Saturday night, and I make sure I have everything where it needs to be. I am in a sour mood and try my best to lighten up. Bitches don’t get tips.

  I was doing an okay job of it until I see Marissa flirting with Cesar and then my sour mood turned downright devilish. I fantasize about tripping her and watching all of her drinks fly across the room. Then I imagine that Cesar will flirt with the wrong woman at the bar tonight and her boyfriend will give him a black eye.

  Yo, Janelle, that is sick. You are seriously losing it.

  In the first few hours of operation, I hang back and try to stay away from everyone. I watch as Marissa and Cesar’s flirting becomes over the top and then watch as he runs his hand down her cheek. The moment his hand makes contact with her stupid skin, my stomach rolls, but I can’t turn away. He tilts his head sideways and his eyes meet mine from across the room.

  No one is in the club except for the alcoholic locals who always show up first to grab the best seats at the bar. Cesar watches me as he runs his hand down Marissa’s cheek, then he brings her face closer to his.

  His eyes are still hooked on mine as he leans in and kisses her on the lips. Kisses. Her. On. The. Lips. I knew he was trash.

  I can’t control my feelings but I do my best to tamper down my anger. Bitterness feels like it’s seeping out of every pore in my body, and I instantly break eye contact and head into the restroom.

  I take a deep breath as I slam my way into the restroom, gripping the sink for support. What the hell just happened?

  Breathe, Janelle, hell, breathe.

  Why do I care if he kisses Marissa? I wouldn’t have cared two days ago, but now for some reason I care now? Because he spent one crappy night with me, sipping wine, and eating frozen pizza?

  Shaking my head, I try to gain control of the situation and return back out into the club to make some money. That is the most important thing, not some lame ass bartender, who has a habit of staring me down with his tongue or his dick in random women’s orifices.

  I mean that’s creepy right? Why had he said my name the other night? Why was he staring at me while he kissed Marissa? Why did I care?

  With no answers to any of my questions, I pull out my phone and see I have a missed text from Grant.

  Hey, headed to your work tonight with some friends. Can’t wait to see you.

  Great, more pissing. I run my fingers through my hair as I straighten my shirt and head back out. When I came out of the bathroom I noticed three things:

  One: Cesar has a line of women trying to grab his attention at the bar, and he laughs and smiles at them all as he pours their drinks. Then every once in a while he takes his hat off and waves it in the air, eliciting catcalls from the women.

  Two: Marissa is on the opposite side of the room, busy with tables, but I can tell she’s keeping an eye on him using her peripheral vision.

  Three: Grant was heading right for me.

  Oh, tonight was going to be a blast. Grant never comes to this club and for damn sure, he doesn’t purposefully visit me here. Actually I can’t tell you a time when he’s ever stepped foot inside Club Arrow.

  We have only known each other for a few months and met through my best friend Lenny. We had an instant attraction to one another and started sleeping together shortly after. But, we both made it very clear we wanted a no-strings attached kind of deal, and up until last night that’s all it has ever been. And hopefully, it’s all it ever will be. I’m not looking for happily ever after, and even if I was, it wouldn’t be with Grant.

  “Hey, sexy,” Grant says as he puts an arm around me. He’s obviously showing off or something for his friends because we are not affectionate unless we’re horizontal, but I roll with it.

  “Hey.”

  I lead him to one of my booths lining the dance floor and his friends follow. There are six men altogether with Lenny being one of them. I pull Lenny aside and wrap my arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug as he kisses my cheek.

  “Hey, you fabulous bitch, you look amaaazing.”

  Yes, Lenny is your stereotypical flamboyant, homosexual male and he’s fabulous. Every girl needs a friend like Lenny.

  I kiss his cheek back, as he snaps his fingers. “Something’s different about you, girlie.”

  Lenny stares me up and down and then pulls me away from the group of men he is with.

  “Did you lose weight?” He lightly taps my ass. “I don’t know, I just see a change in you, girlfriend.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, smiling.

  “Yes, there’s something going on. Spill it.” He stands there waiting patiently for me to tell him, nothing. Nothing has changed since I last saw him, absolutely nothing…except maybe a new attraction to a huge playboy.

  I hear laughter behind me and glance in Cesar’s direction; and even though he has thousands of women (okay not thousands, about twenty) feigning for his affection, his eyes are glued to mine…again.

  Lenny follows my gaze and lets out a low whistle when he catches sight of Cesar.

  “Who is that cowboy, and how do I get one?” Lenny speaks in a deep voice. It is the lowest I’ve ever heard his voice go, and I crack up at the sound of it.

  “Believe me, you don’t want that cowboy. He has issues.”

  “I don’t mind a little issues, didn’t say I wanted to marry him. I just want to play a little cowboys and Indians with him.”

  “Native Americans.”

  “Exactly...I just want to be tied up somewhere in a teepee and he come save me.”

  “There’s so many things wrong with what you just said and you’re gay, you should know better.”

  “Exactly, bitch.” He busts out laughing.

  “Well, have fun,” I say as Lenny’s eyes are still trained on Cesar’s. “He might like one of your little games.”

  He twirls around as if he was struck by lightning. “Ooh, a bitch detects a little attitude in the room. Did you and he, did him and you, did you guys fuck?” he asks almost loud enough for Grant to hear at his table.

  “Classy,” I say, chuckling.

  He turns all the way around and grabs my shoulders so he can gain my full attention. “Did you? Is that why Grant dragged us all here tonight? Because no disrespect, but you know this club is not my scene. I rather be at Trax Nightclub with my people.”

  “Grant dragged you here?”

  “Yes, girl. Kicking and screaming. So what’s the happs? Did you or did you not sleep with that adonis?”

  “No, I didn’t.” I push his hands off me, and walk away from him. Walking up to Grant’s table, I take their drink orders.

  I walk to the server area of the bar and plug their order into the computer. With tingles in my tummy, and a little nervous energy, I grab a tray and wait patiently for Cesar to make my drinks. Grant is watching me and I give him a knowing nod to assure him that Cesar and I are totally platonic. He may not be my boyfriend but I would like to continue having sex sometime soon. Last thing I need is Grant angry.

  When Cesar sees me approach, he leaves the women mid bar trick and rushes over. Leaning his arms across the bar, he smiles at me…a pretty big, dazzling smile.

  I was in trouble, I knew it.

  Chapter Six

  “Hey, Janelle.”

  I swear that Cesar usually talks normally…but when he says my name it always comes out in a breathy, hot whisper.

  “Hey.” My eyes dart around, as I try not to make eye contact.

  “Did you want me to come over tonight? We could drink a little wine, play around, maybe even fuck,” he says in a serious whisper.

  My cheeks flush, and I stand perfectly still. “Umm, no thanks, and I hope you’ve found somewhere else to stay tonight.”

  He glances over at Grant’s table.

  “Oh, you have plans with that dude again?”

  “I might.”

  “What is with you, Janelle? I know you want me.”

  There’s a slight bite to his voice as he stands his body upright.

  “Oh, you think so? Well, I have news for you…I don’t want you, never will. How could I possibly when you’ve probably fucked every woman under forty in this club.”

  God, I sounded like a fifth grader, the snooty kind who always has all the right answers and tells on everyone in class when the teacher turns his back.

  “And I have news for you too, darlin’. You’re right, I could have anyone in this bar tonight, but I want you.”

  His cocky little cowboy persona is grating on my every nerve even though him saying he wanted me, kind of made me hot. I can’t believe he is talking to me like this especially after everything i witnessed tonight. What a player. As if I’d ever.

  “What about Marissa?” Oh goody, don’t let him know I’m jealous or anything. God, I sounded pathetic.

  “What about her?”

  “You looked like you were securing some overnight plans with her earlier.”

  “I suppose I could go home with her tonight if I wanted–”

  “Good idea, I think you should do that,” I practically spit out.

  My mouth was betraying me, but I couldn’t think straight. Of course I don’t want him to go home with Marissa, but I also don’t have a good reason for him not to.

  “You want me to fuck her?”

  The way he throws the “f” word around makes my insides tingle, even though he is talking about someone else enjoying the pleasure of receiving him.

  “Cesar, I don’t care what you do.”

  Yes, I did…he and I both know I did.

  “Okay, but listen, there is no way I am letting you go home so you can get your kicks from that motherfucker.” He points across the bar toward Grant, and I turn around to see Grant and the entire table watching the exchange between Cesar and I.

  “What is your problem?” I ask.

  “You, you’re my problem it seems.” He plays with a cup that sits next to him on the bar as he stares at me with his deep set eyes.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Like this morning, I woke up with my usual hard on. I tried to jerk off to my usual Kardashian sandwich fantasy but I couldn’t get the image of you out of my head.”

  Oh my God, I am floored by his admission, and don’t know what to say.

  “Okay.” I fumble over my response.

  “So, I figure if I can fuck you and get it out of my system, then I’d be fine.”

  “Oh, but of course. You can just fuck me and all will be swell. Yeah, I don’t think so.” I say, sarcastically.

  “It isn’t like that, Janelle,” he says staring deep into my eyes all sexy and shit.

  “What’s it like then?”

  I need to get the drinks over to Grant and his friends, and with a glance I notice a few more of my booths were being filled with partygoers.

  “One night, I’m just asking for one whole night with you.” He pleads to me with his eyes.

  I say nothing as I grab my drinks and place them on my tray as I walk away. My mind raced with the possibilities of his proposition. Yes, I was actually considering his preposterous plan. One night, right? What could it hurt? One night to get this sexual energy to disappear between us, one night to completely forget about him and things could go back to normal.

  I hand the drinks off to Grant and his friends as Lenny stares me down. He knew. Of course, he did. It's like he has some crazy spidey sense or maybe I’m more transparent about my feelings than I thought.

  “You okay, babe?” Grant asks as he gently grabs a few of my fingers.

  “Fine. You need anything else?”

  “You can bring us another round in twenty minutes.”

  “Sure.”

  He shocks me by laying a small kiss on my knuckles. A few of the guys at the table grin. Lenny shakes his head as if I’ve done something wrong. I look up and over at Cesar, whose eyes were still glued on me, and he mouths the words “one night”.

  Heading over to my other customers, I go through my routine in a daze. I could feel both Cesar and Grant watching me like hawks. It was so unsettling, I couldn’t even make my usual chit chat with customers.

  Hours pass and my mind is still cloudy. I was just going through the motions, making my money and not interacting with anyone. Grant and his friends finally left and as I kissed Grant goodnight, my mind was completely on Cesar. I knew he was watching. I wondered if it was turning him on or making him crazy.

  While it is clear that my body wants Cesar in the worst possible way, my mind is still unsure, but as I continue to contemplate his request, I feel giddy about the possibility of sleeping with him.

  Am I really thinking about doing this?

  Hell, yeah I am.

  Cesar is hot, unpredictable, sexy, arrogant, and I was sure he was housing a complete package in his pants. The whole kit and caboodle. The things erotic stories are written about.

  My whole adult life has been made up of random boyfriends, casual hookups, and mediocre sex. I’ve had plenty of decent sex, but I never enjoyed it like I would read about in romance novels. I’ve had orgasms before, but I would never use the word explosive to describe them. Mind-boggling sex isn’t something I’ve ever had either.

  Do I enjoy sex? Yes. I’m not saying that I don’t…it just isn’t something that rules my life.

  Even when I have sex with Grant, sometimes I would be silently thinking in my head about other things. Like, did I remember to turn off the oven, or did I lock the front door?

  It amazes me how some women will talk about the multiple orgasms they have and how sex lasts for hours. To me, sex lasting longer than fifteen minutes grows tiresome, and I pray the guy I was with would hurry up. Yet, for some reason, my body is growing needy with one stare from Cesar. My legs shake and my insides churn, wanting to feel his touch.

  So yes, by the end of the night, after Marissa left in an Uber and when Cesar hung back and waited for me to grab my things from my locker, I smiled with the realization that tonight I would give in and get to lick him everywhere. And, when I say everywhere that is what I wanted more than anything.

 

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