The embers of my heart, p.13

The Embers Of My Heart, page 13

 

The Embers Of My Heart
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  "Makes sense." Star's voice turned serious. "So, now you know, that's great. Don't let her know about me. Don't tell her anything. If you let something slip, go tweak her memory. I don't want her in danger, and if you put her in danger, I will move the world to end you."

  "You two are rather alike in your threats to my life," I said.

  "I'm serious."

  "No."

  "No? What do you mean, no?"

  "I already told her you were alive," I said. She took a sharp breath, but I kept talking before she could explode. "I made that resolution, remember? I'm going to reunite you with your family, and this is the first step."

  "You're a sweet guy, and it's one of my favorite things about you, but this isn't the best way of going about it. If she knows I'm alive, she can be used to get to me." Her tone was quiet. "Think long and hard about this. People like the Bureau and even your group wouldn't bat an eye at torturing her to draw a member of the Resistance out of hiding. I've seen it happen. I'm holding you responsible for protecting her. Do you understand me, Kevin?"

  "I understand."

  "Did she even believe you?"

  "I don't think she really does. I think she's giving me the benefit of the doubt since I knew your name without her ever mentioning it, but she also thinks I might be trying to hurt her, or that it's some sort of insane coincidence. That doesn't make sense, because there's no possible way for me to know about you otherwise."

  "Putting her off balance like that allows her to believe pretty much anything," Star said. "She's confused and vulnerable right now. Don't let it linger. Tweak her memory if you need to. I'd prefer if you did, honestly. You've put me off balance too, and it's been a long time since that's happened."

  "I'm going to make it worse for you."

  "I don't know how you can, but please don't."

  "I'm going to call you again later, and she's going to be with me."

  "No."

  "Why not?"

  "I can't!" Star's voice rose. "I died, right in front of her! She thinks I've been dead for three years now, she'll never believe it, she'll hate me! I can't do it!"

  "Star, it's ok. She doesn't hate you. How could she hate you? She misses you."

  "I can't put her in danger!"

  "Don't tell her about what you're doing," I said. "She doesn't know about psionics, as far as I know. Just talk with her. Tell her you miss her. Tell her you care."

  "I can't."

  "I'm going to protect her. I swear to you, I'll keep her safe."

  "Stop it!"

  "I'm going to call and you can't stop me. It'll be evening your time. Will you be around?"

  "Maybe." Her voice was shaky. "I should be. Damn you. I don't want to do this."

  "You don't need to be scared, I'm going to be with you. Well, with her, but with you too."

  "I need to go."

  "I'll talk to you tonight, then."

  "Yeah." The line went dead. I deleted the call history and replaced the phone where I found it. Downtown Troy was full of energy on this nice spring day and I walked out into that energy and tried to lose myself in it. Tracking active psionic use was easy enough, but once stopped, it became nearly impossible to distinguish psions from normal humans. The Establishment would wonder about why someone masked their presence so close to home, but with luck, they wouldn't trace it back to me.

  I wandered through the city for an hour, missing my last class of the day, but I'd cover that easily enough. When I returned to the dorm room, both Max and Drew were tapping away at their keyboards. "What's up, guys," I said.

  "Not much, dude. That one's in a lot of pain." Drew jerked his thumb over at Max who looked no better than the last time I had seen him. "Can't you do something about it? You know?"

  "Like give him more pain relievers?"

  "Yeah."

  "I already hit the daily limit on all of them," Max said without turning away from his computer. "I got ninety nine problems, but an overdose ain't one."

  "It can't be that bad, dude."

  "It sure can be."

  While they argued about it, I sat down at my own computer and composed a quick e-mail to Jess. "Come with me at eleven to talk to her."

  The response came within a minute. "I hate you so much right now. See you then."

  I closed the laptop and stretched while Max complained. "Look, if I really wanted to die slowly, I'd go down a bottle of Tylenol and chase it with straight vodka, then suffer for the next few days as my liver completely shut down. That's not a great way to go. Seriously, Drew, give it a rest."

  Drew snorted. "Whatever, dude. You're just stubborn. I'm not telling you to go down the entire bottle, just take more. It's not going to kill you if you do it for a couple days."

  "It's my fight, not yours."

  "It's my room here too," Drew said. "And if you're going to sit around and whine for the next couple of weeks, we're going to have problems."

  "I'm not whining about it!"

  "Bullshit you're not."

  "Guys, relax," I said. Both of them looked to me. "Drew, let him do his thing, he's keeping more of it buried than you think. Max, don't be stubborn just for the sake of being stubborn, Drew's right. You can hit the painkillers a little harder if you need to, at least till the worst is over."

  "Damn your voice of reason," Max said.

  "I hate it too," Drew agreed.

  "Everyone hates me these days," I said. "It's kind of a good feeling. Tells me I'm doing something right."

  "Who else hates you?" Drew asked. "I mean, besides your girlfriend."

  "Well, after she hatefucked me, she hasn't really spoken to me since."

  Max shook his head and winced. "That wasn't a great idea."

  "Well, not in retrospect. It's hard to think rationally when you're caught up in the moment."

  "It sometimes happens, dude. Strong emotions take you places, doesn't matter if they're good or bad." Drew shrugged. "Been on both sides of that. Just let it go."

  "That's what I'm doing. Hey, it's late already, let's go grab some food?"

  "Sounds good to me," Drew said. "Let's go, Max, you need to choke it down."

  "No appetite," he said.

  "Tough."

  We headed down to the Caf and enjoyed some not terrible food. The conversation wound its way from professors and classes to local bars and places of interest, culminating with Max and Drew debating the finer points of their preferred locations. Before they got too carried away, Lisa saw us and trotted over with her standard high level of energy, kissing Drew on the cheek and sitting next to him. Jess followed her with substantially less energy. Her eyes were red and she didn't make eye contact with me.

  "Sorry to break you guys up," Lisa said after a couple of minutes. "But I need my big strong man here. We're rearranging our room and we need his help."

  "Aw, man, can't it wait till later?" Drew asked. "We're just chilling here."

  "I'd rather get it done before it's too late," Lisa said.

  "Why can't Jess help you?"

  "I'm not feeling that great," Jess said quietly. "Plus I have plans later tonight."

  "And I can't ask Max, he's not feeling great either," Lisa said. "Kev can help though!"

  I winced. "I can help out for a little while."

  "That's awesome!" Lisa said. "All right boys! Let's go get stuff moving!"

  We headed back to Carson Hall, Max splitting off early to head to the student union for some more medication. Lisa took charge when we got to their room, directing us where to shift all the furniture. The girls could have done it themselves, but not with Jess so miserable. I snuck looks at her whenever we got a moment. She sat at her computer, the system shut down and unplugged, looking empty. She still wouldn't meet my eyes. The only time she moved was when we needed to reposition her computer and desk.

  By the time we finished to Lisa's satisfaction, it was nearly ten. Lisa lay back on her bed and sighed. "You guys are the best. It would have taken us at least another hour and we'd have been dead tired. I don't think you even broke a sweat!"

  "It wasn't too bad," Drew said.

  I had definitely worked up a sweat, though not exhausted. "Got anything more to do while I'm here?"

  "Nope!" Lisa sounded entirely too chipper. "I'm going to relax for the rest of the night."

  "That sounds good to me," Drew agreed, sitting down on her bed beside her.

  Jess suddenly stood up. "I'm going to leave you two alone," she said. "Should be back in a couple hours, I think. You'll be asleep by then, right?"

  "Maybe. You all right, Jess?"

  "Sure. Never been better."

  "Talk to me about it later."

  "Right." Jess finally made eye contact with me and pointed at the door. "You don't want to stick around for what's coming next."

  "You're absolutely right," I said. We made our exit and walked down the hall to my room. "We can head out now if you feel like it. Probably makes sense."

  "Yeah, sure." Her tone sounded completely unfocused and defeated.

  "We're going to head downtown."

  "Wait, at this hour?" A bit of life came back to her voice and she glared at me. "That's stupid, Kev. Why?"

  "Call it paranoia."

  "You're too much of a nerd to be paranoid."

  "That's why I said just call it paranoia. Trust me on this."

  "In for a penny," she said. "Lead on, asshole."

  We walked toward downtown Troy in silent darkness. Reaching the city proper, the streets teemed with energy as the students of other local colleges celebrated the end of their semesters, while Ripley students mourned the beginning of theirs. Jess's obvious shell kept us unbothered by anyone. I took her into a small coffee shop that stayed open late and excused myself to the bathroom. I masked myself while out of anyone's sight, lifted another phone, and returned to our table. I'd return the phone to the store later. We picked up a couple of small coffees and continued to walk the streets, seeking a quiet place.

  I finally found a small park with minimal traffic and found a bench as far away from the main path as possible. It was a shady place, in all senses of the word. "Sit," I said.

  "This is probably the sketchiest thing I've ever done," she said.

  "Just trust me."

  "I am trusting you. This is too elaborate to be a prank. You're not the type who'd pull this sort of prank." Her voice was still dull. "I don't know what's going on. Either she's dead and you found someone who's just like her, or you're telling me the truth, as ridiculously unbelievable as it is. I really don't know why I'm here. I shouldn't believe you. It doesn't make any sense."

  "Jess-"

  "She's my twin," she said. "You don't understand. You don't understand having a sibling, let alone a twin. She's part of me forever and I buried that part. It nearly killed me. I wanted to die. I tried. I couldn't. She wouldn't want that. I finally got away from home and all those memories of her. I could move forward again." She looked up at me, tears streaking her cheeks. "You brought all that pain back. Even if you're telling me the truth, even if she is alive, I can't bear this pain. I can't."

  I leaned down and put my arms around her. "I'm sorry," I whispered in her ear. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

  "I know," she whispered back as she buried her face in my shoulder.

  After a few moments, she sniffled and pushed me back. "I am dating someone, you know," she said. "He'd be so mad at you right now."

  "Max would fall over and die if I made angry noises at him right now," I said.

  "That's not much different than normal."

  I chuckled. "Are you ready?"

  "Don't disappoint me, Kev, or I'll make you regret it."

  I turned away from her and pulled out my pilfered phone. I dialed the number, noting in passing that my hands were shaky and sweaty. I put the phone to my ear and waited. "Sarah here," she said, her voice also shaky. "Kevin, this better be you."

  "It's Luigi's Pizza looking for delivery directions," I said.

  "Please don't. I'm nervous enough as it is."

  "Sorry. Are you ok?"

  "I've been going insane all day. I didn't believe you'd actually call me back tonight. Is she...is she there?"

  I looked over my shoulder. Jess stared at me. "She's here. She looks like she wants to cry and break all my fingers at the same time."

  "That sounds like the way I feel about you right now. Definitely my sister."

  "So, should I put her on?"

  "I don't know."

  "Tough."

  I turned and handed Jess the phone. She took it gingerly and held it up to her ear. "Hello?"

  I watched. The moment her sister spoke was obvious. Her hands shook, her eyes widened, and tears sprung free.

  "Oh my god, Sarah. Sarah." She started to shake and I tried to back away, but her hand snapped out and grabbed my sleeve. "Stay here," she said. "No, I'm talking to him, he's trying to walk away and give us privacy or something idiotically unnecessary."

  I sat next to her and waited, listening to the one side of the conversation I could hear. At some point, Jess's hand crept into mine and squeezed. I squeezed back. Their conversation started practical, sounding like they were comparing childhood memories to confirm that the other really was their twin, and then moving on to other topics, seemingly at random. Jess smiled. She laughed. She cried. She smiled again.

  Finally, their conversation seemed to hit a lull. "Yeah. Yeah, he's a weird guy, but you're right. He's decent after all. Hang on. Yeah, he's still here. Ok." She looked over at me. "I love you too, Sarah." She held the phone out to me. "She wants to talk to you."

  I took the phone. "Hey. Just want you to know I'm holding your sister's hand."

  "I'm ok with that." She giggled and Jess threw me a dirty look, but didn't let go. "Kevin. Thanks."

  "For what?"

  "I got to talk with my Jessy for the first time in years. I missed her. I didn't know how much."

  "You're welcome."

  "Take care of her. You promised. And get her with that Max guy. She's totally got a thing for him."

  "Well, they're already dating, so mission accomplished."

  "No shit? Then why are you holding her hand, you player!"

  I let myself giggle and Jess gave me a look that said I was losing my mind. "Well, she started it."

  "Men." She sighed. "No, that's not fair. You're great. I miss you. Call me in a couple of weeks?"

  "I'll see what I can do," I said. "No promises."

  "Wrong. Promise me."

  I hesitated for just a moment. "All right. I promise."

  "Good boy. Now take her home and get some sleep."

  "Will do. Have a good night."

  "Night, sexy pants." The phone clicked and I let it drop away from my ear.

  Jess looked at me and I looked back at her. "Ready to go back?" I asked her.

  She nodded and I pulled her up to her feet. Her hand squeezed mine again and I turned to face her. Her mouth opened to say something, then her face contorted and fresh tears flowed. Her hand slipped free and she threw her arms around me. I pulled her close and held her as long as she needed.

  Chapter Eleven

  I trotted toward the Edison building, hoping to catch my professor before his afternoon office hours ended. We weren't too far into the trimester and I was already starting to struggle. I could study easily enough, but I couldn't exactly use my powers to help with group projects. Students crowded the campus during the day with June in full swing and warm weather finally becoming consistent. I weaved my way through the crowds and threw silent curses at slow walkers.

  Before I reached the building, a crowd drew my eye. I drifted closer just to take a quick glance. Flags fluttered in the breeze and men in fatigues stood at a table. A couple of men in uniforms worked the crowd, while a couple more in suits stood to the sides. Military recruiters? I smirked and drifted around the edge. Not worth stopping for.

  A hand grabbed my arm before I could get past the crowd. I turned to see Rachel from the student council group glaring at me. "The hell do you want, Anderson?" I asked.

  "Shut up and listen to me for once."

  "You're asking a lot."

  "Seriously, there's something funny about these guys." She squeezed my arm hard enough to hurt. "I don't think they're just military."

  I snorted. "Did you have a committee vote for that conclusion?"

  "Look. Knock it off. I know we don't get along, you're a prick and I'm a bitch, but we're on the same side here. Check it out, there's something about them and I think one of us should get a closer look. You're wearing sunglasses so no one's going to notice if you use Sight. I'll cover for you."

  "We both know it's not worth checking a bunch of normal people."

  "Just do it. I have a hunch."

  I wanted to argue, but it would have been a waste of time. "Fine. Babble at me. You're good at that." She glared and started to say something, but I didn't listen, I called up my Sight and checked over the area. The lines leading to the men in fatigues were normal with no vibrations of psionic ability. The suits outside were also normal. "They seem fine to me," I said.

  "There's a table inside the building. Check them too."

  I sighed and focused inside. Another table, with a couple more suited men sitting there. As soon as my Sight focused on one of them, he raised his head and looked directly toward me. I banished my power. "Shit."

  "What?"

  "One reacted to my probe. Probably Bureau."

  "I thought so. Shit." Her face twisted in disgust. "I'm going to go tell Burke. There has to be some reason for this."

  "Good idea. Let me know what he says?"

  "Sure." She shrugged and backed away from me. "Kevin. Thanks."

  "No problem." She gave me a slight smile and walked away. I looked back toward the Edison building and reconsidered walking in. I didn't know if the agent inside had traced it back to me, but it was too risky. I turned to leave, but found a man in fatigues bearing down on me.

  "Good afternoon, son," he greeted me, ignoring all the students he had passed to get to me. "Care to talk for a few minutes about your future?"

  His face held a well-worn smile, his hair in the archetypical crew cut, and his eyes were slightly unfocused. I bit my tongue before saying anything. "I'm not interested, sorry."

 

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