BrookLyn's Journey, page 2
My father will, she thought.
Max stood, gnashing his pearly-white teeth at her. He had a red baseball cap on backwards and was wearing a large white t-shirt and blue jeans. BrookLyn wondered what happened to the Argyle sweater he’d had on when her dad was here. His pants weren’t sagging before either. Now they were, and his plaid boxers were showing.
“I don’t even know him,” she cried. Her eyes were wet from tears. BrookLyn couldn’t believe Tiffany wasn’t going to ride with her. Some kind of friend Tiffany is turning out to be, forcing me to ride with a complete stranger. I don’t care if he is her cousin. Riding with a man alone made BrookLyn nervous. Looks like I’m going to have to walk home.
“Well, you know me.” Tiffany’s cousin, Gabriella, walked up alongside her.
BrookLyn offered a half-hearted grin. Gabriella was the only black girl with blue eyes that BrookLyn had ever met. The uniqueness of it made her even prettier. “Hi, Gabriella.” BrookLyn hadn’t realized she’d been there listening to their conversation. She kind of knew Gabriella from church, although they went to different schools, she saw her from time to time.
“I’ll ride with you,” Gabriella offered.
“Are you sure?” Tiffany asked with a devilish grin on her face.
BrookLyn didn’t know why Tiffany was suddenly acting as if she cared.
“Of course,” Gabriella said.
“Thanks for coming, BrookLyn. I’ll see you in church tomorrow. Or not.” Tiffany giggled and skipped off, completely ignoring BrookLyn’s disappointed attempt at a smile.
BrookLyn didn’t say anything about it because Tiffany was the only friend she really had.
Max turned toward the street where he was parked. “Ready?” He winked and pulled up his sagging jeans.
“Yes.” BrookLyn slowly followed him and Gabriella to Max’s sleek, silver Toyota Highlander. She had no choice, especially since eleven o’clock was peeking at her. She had to make curfew.
BrookLyn hopped in the backseat and Gabriella climbed in after her, sitting quite close. She wasn’t sure why Gabriella didn’t hop up front with Max. Maybe she’s trying to make me feel more comfortable.
Max turned on the radio and drove a little too fast to BrookLyn’s house. Gabriella leaned her head back onto the seat and closed her eyes.
BrookLyn got lost in her own thoughts too, listening to the beats—both those coming through the radio and from her thunderous heart. What’s going on with me? Why am I suddenly feeling so weird? She felt nervous and warm, as if her temperature had just risen, yet the temperature in the car hadn’t changed.
She soon noticed they were driving down her block. It was close to eleven o’clock but she still owned a few minutes before she would be punished. Before BrookLyn could move to get out, Gabriella grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
She looked down then back toward Gabriella’s face and smiled. What is her intent? Instead of asking, BrookLyn didn’t say anything. She just got out and then stumbled slightly as her feet touched the pavement.
As she ran up to her porch she felt an odd sense of regret that eleven o’clock had come so fast. “Thanks for the ride,” she called to Max. He waved at her but didn’t drive off.
BrookLyn tried putting her key in the door but it wouldn’t work. It wouldn’t even go in the lock. Weird. It had been fine when she had used it earlier in the day.
She looked back toward the vehicle, glad that they had waited for her. Their gleaming eyes were staring at her where she stood, and they looked as confused as she felt. BrookLyn shrugged her shoulders. Then she turned back around and rang the bell. No one answered. She banged on the door and no one responded to that either. She didn’t have a cell phone, because according to them she didn’t need one. I need one now, she thought. She knocked and punched the doorbell several more times before she heard Max yell to her out of the driver’s side window.
“Just come back with us.”
BrookLyn didn’t want to go back, but she didn’t want to sleep on the porch in a rocking chair either. It was a great place to steal a nap on a cool summer afternoon but not on a Spring night in the pitch dark. Even the thought of sleeping on the porch in the dark frightened her.
She looked back into the equally dark house, noticing that not even the hallway light was on. It usually was. She banged on the door again, more out of frustration than because she thought anyone would come.
It figures. The one night I go out, my key won’t work and no one is home to let me in. She walked down the steps slowly half hoping someone would come. When no one did, she hopped back into the backseat.
“It’s okay,” Gabriella said grabbing her hand again, pulling her closer.
BrookLyn wasn’t sure what she was feeling, but something was definitely going on inside of her. It felt like a shock of electricity shot through her whenever Gabriella touched her. Like when she touched her light switch after walking across the carpet in her room. The unexpected feelings made BrookLyn shift around awkwardly.
“So, let me get this straight,” Max said. “They told you to come home by eleven, but made sure you couldn’t get in. Weird.”
BrookLyn didn’t answer but was sure that her silence reflected her agreement. What am I supposed to do? Somehow in my parents mixed up world, this will turn out to be my fault. It always does.
Gabriella squeezed BrookLyn’s hand tighter and she didn’t let go. BrookLyn wondered why she was doing that—and since Gabriella hadn’t spoken much during the ride here, she’d had plenty of time to ponder—what did all Gabriella’s attention mean?
Repeated waves of electricity flowed up and down BrookLyn’s arm. Her heart started beating faster as a wave of nausea washed over her. She was scared of what she was feeling, but didn’t push Gabriella away. That thought was almost worse and she didn’t understand why.
“Max has somewhere to go,” Gabriella said, “so he’s not going to drive back over to Tiffany’s. You can call your parents from my house.”
Could my night get any worse? BrookLyn’s heart skipped a beat. “I guess I can walk over there.” Although she didn’t really want to do that on this dark night.
“Do you even know how to get there on foot?” Max looked in the rearview mirror.
“No, but I’ll find it.” BrookLyn had no clue how to get to Tiffany’s house, especially since tonight was the first time she had been there.
“Not in this darkness, you won’t.” Gabriella turned to face her. “Like I said before, you can call your parents from my house. I won’t hurt you, BrookLyn.”
BrookLyn thought she heard a light chuckle come from the front seat. Her stomach twisted. She barely knew Gabriella. Will I be safe? Does Max know something I don’t know? Her head was swimming in confusion and started hurting. As much as she hated them, she really missed her parents right now. Crazy as they were she always knew what to expect, and right now she didn’t.
She couldn’t believe all of this was happening. All she wanted was to go to a party then go home and, hopefully get a chance to hang out with her friends again some other time. The chances of that happening now, not so much.
“Here we are ladies.” Max pulled up in front of Gabriella’s house.
“Thanks.” Gabriella got out of the car and stood outside waiting.
BrookLyn looked at the big yellow house with its gray shutters, large windows and painted bench on the porch. It looked so nice and warm, unlike BrookLyn’s house. It looked like a home. Hers looked like what it was—hell.
From the little bit she’d spoken to Gabriella at church, and from the things Tiffany had said, BrookLyn knew that Gabriella’s mother had left her the house when she’d died from cancer a few years back. Since her dad had a heart attack and died when she was only seven years old and she didn’t have any brothers and sisters, she lived here now with her aunt.
Gabriella was not quite nineteen and she’d already lost both her parents. BrookLyn didn’t know if she wanted to feel sorry for Gabriella or wish that she could trade places. Then she remembered that not all parents were like hers were. Most of them loved their children and treated them with kindness.
At least they had provided for her in their deaths so that Gabriella didn’t have to work. She received money from her parents’ insurance policies and an inheritance they had left for her. BrookLyn had no idea how much it was, but looking at the house, she could tell that it was more than enough.
BrookLyn realized that Gabriella was waiting so she hurried to get her shaky legs out of the car and plant her feet on the sidewalk. Although she was sober, her head was spinning. Too much craziness was going on tonight for her first, and probably last, night of freedom.
The two girls waved goodbye to Max and went into Gabriella’s quiet, warm house. The smell of fresh fruit hit her nose as soon as the door opened. It smelled inviting and sweet. She inhaled deeply, savoring its sweetness. It was so unlike the putrid horror that hung in the air at her house.
Gabriella led BrookLyn upstairs to her room and BrookLyn’s mouth almost fell open when she saw the size of Gabriella’s room. It was much bigger than hers and looked like a hotel suite. It was navy blue with baby blue horizontal stripes. Peaceful. The bed was neatly made and there wasn’t anything out of place on her desk.
Although the lights were dim, they were bright enough for BrookLyn to see the phone on the nightstand. “Can I use your phone now?”
“Sure.” Gabriella grabbed her cordless phone off of the nightstand.
BrookLyn wasn’t even sure how she’d get home if anyone did answer, but since nobody did, at least there was one thing she didn’t need to figure out.
She started to tear up from anger, but pushed her tears away when she left a message for her parents. Crying wouldn’t fix this. BrookLyn knew that from eighteen years with her hateful parents. Nothing fixed anything with them. It just was.
After listening to her father’s demonic voice, then three consecutive beeps, she took a deep breath, and left her message. “Mother, Father, its BrookLyn. I was home before eleven. I don’t understand why, but my key didn’t work. I knocked on the door and rang the bell, but no one answered. I didn’t want to sleep on the porch so I’m at a friend’s house.” She waited for a second before hanging up, just in case someone picked up. They didn’t. She forcefully pushed the off button, wishing she had a regular, non-cordless phone so she could slam it down instead.
She snapped out of her little world and noticed Gabriella rummaging through her neatly filled dresser drawers. She laid a pair of Victoria Secret shorts and a matching t-shirt on the bed. BrookLyn assumed they were for her.
Gabriella began undressing as she nodded toward the clothes on the bed. “Those are for you,” she said.
“Thank you.” BrookLyn smiled, feeling uncomfortable, trying not to stare at Gabriella’s perfect body while she undressed and put on her black gym shorts. The only girls she had seen naked before were her sisters. In gym they didn’t have to wear uniforms so they didn’t have to change for class. BrookLyn forced her eyes away.
Gabriella was taller than BrookLyn and she played sports, so her body was firm and her arms were muscular but feminine. Looking at her gave BrookLyn a warm feeling that she didn’t understand.
As she turned away, she caught a glimpse of a tattoo written in cursive on the right side of Gabriella’s back, causing her to look closer. It said The one I will love forever, and it had a blank ribbon wrapped around a heart—there was no name. Is she waiting to add one?
BrookLyn put the phone on the bed and grabbed the clothes. She quickly went into the bathroom to change, forcing herself to stop staring at Gabriella. She was becoming more and more nervous about spending the night out, and about spending the night here.
She barely knew Gabriella, yet she kept feeling something deep within her each time they were close. She hadn’t ever noticed it in church, but tonight something was different.
BrookLyn dressed and folded her own clothes into a neat pile. She laid them on the toilet and looked at herself in the mirror. “Breathe,” she reminded herself, but her thumping heart chose to ignore her desire to relax. She took a few more deep breaths, grabbed her clothes and went back into Gabriella’s bedroom.
“You okay?” asked Gabriella. “You look a little pale.”
“I’m just stressed that I couldn’t get in. There’s going to be trouble.”
“Even though you left a message?” How could Gabriella understand? No one outside of their family knew BrookLyn’s father like they did.
“My father will erupt.” BrookLyn didn’t know how else to put it. When her father got angry, it just spilled over onto everyone else, but mostly her, now that she was the last one left at home.
“Maybe not,” Gabby said softly.
She shook her head. “You don’t know my father.” BrookLyn had already determined that she’d be grounded until graduation, even if they listened to her message.
Her parents blamed their strictness on their own upbringing in the West Indies. They thought that American kids have it too easy. Her parents told her many stories about what was done to them as kids. They were made to stand in the corner facing the wall for hours, or forced to kneel down on grains of rice until they were told to get up. Although her life wasn’t great, at least, she supposed, it was better than they had it.
“Do you want to watch TV?”
“Sure,” she said. “I can’t fall asleep.”
“We can watch videos.”
“I don’t get to watch them at home. My dad says the rappers have no respect for women calling them the B-word all the time. He hates the way the girls dress in the videos and the rappers with their boxers hanging out, showing off big cars, drugs, and money.” BrookLyn’s father never let her do anything. If it were up to him she would be a little kid forever stuck in his house. That wasn’t her plan.
“Parents think they know all, but they don’t.”
“Mine think they know everything, for sure.”
“Although...I must agree, those women in this video are almost naked.” Gabriella giggled and pointed to the half-dressed girls shaking their butts in the video.
Then Gabriella moved closer to where BrookLyn was sitting on the bed. She didn’t know what Gabriella was trying to do, so she scooted over a little, giving her more room, hoping she was just trying to get comfortable. BrookLyn kept her eyes focused on the video as she felt Gabriella shifting closer to her again.
She leaned in so close that BrookLyn got lost for a second in the smell of her sweet breath. “Would you be mad at me if I kissed you?”
BrookLyn hesitated. She couldn’t focus as Gabriella’s question bounced around her head. She struggled to regain her composure. “What? Why would you want to kiss me? I’m a girl.”
“I don’t like boys. I like you. Your skin is so soft.” Gabriella rubbed her hand gently down BrookLyn’s arm, sending small tingling shocks throughout her body again.
She had never had a boy ask if he could kiss her, now a girl was. Why did she?
Butterflies danced in BrookLyn’s belly. She couldn’t tell if time was speeding up or slowing down, but she surprised herself with her reply. “Well, if you want to kiss me, I guess you can.”
Before she knew what she had agreed to, Gabriella pulled her close, covering BrookLyn’s nervous lips with her soft relaxed ones.
BrookLyn had never been kissed on the lips by anybody and definitely not like this. She was feeling a little weird but good at the same time. Her entire body was tingling. Part of her wanted Gabriella to stop, but she didn’t push her away. She lost track of time, not knowing how long they kissed before Gabriella slowly pushed her down on the bed.
Oh God.
Gabriella lay next to her kissing her softly and rubbing her thighs with her long fingers. BrookLyn may have been eighteen, but she had no idea whatsoever what two girls were supposed to do. As Gabriella moved her hands to the top of BrookLyn’s shorts, she finally pushed her away. She wasn’t ready for whatever it was Gabriella was getting ready to do. She sat up quickly, trying to catch her breath.
“What’s wrong?” Gabriella’s clear blue eyes stared at BrookLyn.
“Nothing.” She fixed her clothes and looked away. Those eyes were trying to draw her in. She felt warm inside and her heart was beating really fast. BrookLyn’s body was responding to Gabriella’s touch, but her head was telling her to stop.
She had never been like this with anyone. Some of the girls in her class had already been with boys. They bragged about it all the time. BrookLyn had never had the option to be this close with anyone. Her stomach turned as her head and body competed.
Gabriella rubbed her hand. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
BrookLyn looked toward the floor. “I’m not ready for this.” She was embarrassed because, although she was eighteen, she was clueless. BrookLyn didn’t even know what this was.
“I’ll take it slow. We don’t have to do anything tonight. Can I keep kissing you?”
“Why me?” Everyone called her ugly, even her parents—maybe especially them.
“Why not you?”
“I’ve never been with anyone, especially a girl. I’m not pretty.” BrookLyn was what Tiffany referred to as sheltered. Sheltered, because she was never allowed to do anything other than go to school, the library and church. She was always under the watchful eyes of the wardens who sometimes called themselves her parents.
“You’re beautiful,” Gabriella said.
What? “I wouldn’t go that far.”
“I would. I’ll go further. I think you’re stunning,” she added.
BrookLyn thought maybe she might not be ugly but she knew she wasn’t stunning. She didn’t even think she was pretty.
“You have no idea how beautiful you are. Your brown eyes, your soft skin—everything about you is beautiful. Believe it, BrookLyn, no matter what anyone else says.” Gabriella looked at BrookLyn as if she was staring straight into her confused heart and mind.
