SORROW WOODS, page 28
I fold my arms behind my head. “No.”
“Do you love her?” she hisses.
“I said that I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Come on, Kaiden, spit it out. It must be killing you to keep it all bottled up inside of you.”
“It isn’t any of your business any more, Anastasia.”
“It is my business if you dumped me for her. I want to know what you think she has that I don’t.”
I want to tell her that Serena has everything that she doesn’t, but she wouldn’t understand
what I mean by that.
“She makes me want to be good,” I say by way of explanation.
She chuckles. “You might be the best looking guy in school, Kaiden, but that isn’t why you
have all the girls flocking to you.”
I fight the smile that’s threatening to spread across my face. “It must be my dazzling
personality then.”
She snorts. “You have no personality. The reason they want you is because you’re the ‘bad
boy’. The one they want to try and tame, and they see you as a challenge. They want to change you, but you’ll never be changed, Kaiden. You’ll always be the black sheep of your family, and you’ll
always be the guy that can’t control his temper.”
“So you thought you could change me?” I ask, trying to ignore the truthful words she’s
speaking.
“No,” she whispers. “I let you be you. Can’t you see that? I never asked you to change or got
pissed at you when you’d done something bad. I just let you be whoever you wanted to be. I loved
you just as you were.”
She loved me? If she did, then she had a pretty weird way of showing it. “You tried to get
into the shower with my brother.”
I feel her tense beside me. “He told you that?”
I nod.
“Well, then he’s a bigger idiot than you are.”
Is she kidding me? “Fuck off, Anastasia. Just fuck off out of my room and out of my house.
You’re nothing more than a little slut.” I turn to stare her dead in the eyes. “I don’t know what the fuck I ever saw in you.”
Her nostrils flare and I can tell by the way her eyes struggle to focus that she’s drunk. “We
would have been fine,” she snaps, “if she wasn’t hanging around like a bad smell. I wish you’d never found her.”
I can feel the anger vibrating through my body and drag a deep breath in to try and calm
down. “That’s not very nice,” I finally say, surprised by how smooth my voice sounds.
“I don’t care,” she huffs. “Ever since you found her, we started to drift apart. You were
obsessed with her and what finding her did for you. I hate you.”
“Well then, why are you so bothered that I dumped you?” I ask. “Why are you even here?”
She blinks at me. “Can you honestly tell me that you’d have dumped me if she wasn’t
around?”
I say nothing because I can’t honestly tell her that. If Serena hadn’t turned up in my life, then I probably wouldn’t have dumped Anastasia. It’s because of Serena that I realised Anastasia wasn’t really what I wanted.
She sighs. “You can see why I hate her so much now.”
I shake my head. “It’s not her fault and you shouldn’t hate her. If you hate anyone, then it
should probably be me.”
“I hate you both,” she spits.
“I thought I told you to fuck off?”
“You’re a total shit head, Kaiden.” She slips off my bed and stands up. I can see the outline of
her skinny frame in the stream of moonlight that filters in through the window. I stare at her, waiting for her to say something more but she doesn’t. She smirks and then walks out of my bedroom,
slamming the door behind her.
I climb out of bed and walk over to my window. I can see Andy, who has returned to the
same seat he was in when he was talking to Serena. He’s chatting and smiling, clearly not bothered about our fight since he’s still here.
My eyes roam around the garden and stop when they spot the lilac dress and flowing blond
hair. She’s still here. I was absolutely convinced that Bethany would have dragged her home by now.
My heart starts to hammer in my chest. I need to go and explain to her. I need to go and tell her that I’m sorry.
Just as I’m about to move away from the window, I see Anastasia in her black, lacy dress
saunter down the path towards Serena. She starts to point as she approaches her. Serena blinks and frowns in confusion. I watch, unable to move a single muscle as Anastasia screams and shouts in
Serena’s face. Serena shakes her head and looks around as if she’s looking for someone to rescue
her, but no one comes.
It was obvious from our conversation that Anastasia blames Serena for our break-up, but I
never thought she’d actually go down there and pour all of her frustrations out on her. I bolt from my bedroom with all the worries and anger coursing through my veins, stumbling drunkenly through
the house like a mad man until I’m in the garden.
“Where’s Serena?” I growl, looking over the shocked faces that have turned to stare at me. I
can’t see either Serena or Bethany.
Anastasia cackles. “Serena and her red-haired freak of a cousin have left the party.” She smiles
at me and says, “It seems she can’t handle the truth.”
“What did you say to her?” I demand as I charge towards Anastasia. I can feel how malicious
my face must look, and don’t even try to change it when I see her flinch away from me. Good, I’m
glad she’s scared.
She folds her arms across her chest as her friends swarm around her. “I told her what she’d
done. I told her that no one wants her around here, and that it was her fault you dumped me.”
I can feel my nostrils flaring. I can’t believe I’m hearing this. How much more shit can Serena
possibly take tonight? This was her first party. She wasn’t supposed to get accidentally hit by me or be verbally abused by Anastasia. I was supposed to look after her. I’d asked her to come to the party and then I let her down.
“What?” I hiss, as angry with myself as I am with Anastasia. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I can. And because it’s true.”
“Yeah, Kaiden,” calls one of her friends, “if that little bitch hadn’t shown up, then none of
this would have happened.”
“It’s not her fault that I found her and she’s not a bitch,” I snap. “She’s done nothing wrong.
You shouldn’t have said anything to her, and you certainly shouldn’t be blaming her for me dumping you. I dumped you because I finally realised that you’re a nightmare and that you’re not what I really want.”
She laughs. “It’s all her fault. She’s made you like this. Maybe she learned a few tricks from
her Mother and she’s brainwashed you into thinking she’s something that she’s not.”
“She didn’t brainwash me, you stupid idiot.”
“I don’t know what she’s done but she’s done something. It’s her fault that we’re having this conversation now, Kaiden.”
I shake my head. “It’s not her fault that I fell in love with her. You can’t blame her for how I
feel.”
I clamp my mouth shut as the gasps of the girls resonate around the garden. People stop
moving and dancing and turn to stare at us.
Anastasia steps forward. “What did you just say?” she asks in a deadly calm voice.
I take a step back and shake my head.
“You love her?” she repeats. “You love that girl who doesn’t wear make-up and has knots in
her hair? You love that girl who doesn’t fucking know anything about the real world?”
I nod, feeling shocked. “Looks like it.”
She shakes her head and narrows her eyes at me. I can’t believe that I actually just said
those words out loud. I hadn’t even realised that’s how I felt myself. They sort of just tumbled out of my mouth, and yet I know without a doubt that it’s the truth. Something feels like it has switched on inside of me.
Serena
I’m running over the sand carrying my shoes in my hand with tears streaming down my face when a
shadow emerges out of the bushes that run alongside the beach. As the shadowy figure draws
closer, I recognise her instantly.
“Serena,” she calls out.
I sprint the rest of the way and into her arms. “Mother,” I breathe.
She pulls me into her and runs her hand down the back of my head. “What’s happened to
you?”
I sniff. I don’t want to talk about what’s happened tonight. I don’t want to tell her that I saw
Kaiden attack someone in an angry rage. I don’t know why he hit that boy. Maybe it was because he touched me and Kaiden doesn’t want anyone touching me, but that doesn’t make sense. If he was
annoyed by someone touching me, that would mean that he cares about me, which he clearly
doesn’t. If he did, he would have told me that he had a girlfriend.
Also, he hasn’t said anything to make me think he likes me in that way. I can’t understand him.
I don’t understand any of them. I don’t know what’s going on with us but whatever it is, it can’t be healthy if it makes him behave like that. It was like watching a wild animal attack its prey. I didn’t recognise him and I don’t want to ever see him behave like that again.
“I don’t belong here, Mother,” I finally whisper, as Anastasia’s words echo around in my
head. “No one wants me here. They all hate me.”
“I told you,” she soothes. “I told you that you don’t belong here. You belong with me.”
I nod. “Everything was so simple before, but now everything just feels so complicated and
messy.”
“Yes,” she agrees, “it is.”
“People are confusing,” I tell her.
She nods. “Come back with me, Serena. I have the car around the corner. We can go now
and just slip away together in the darkness, away from all these people that are horrible to you and don’t want you.”
I think about it. I think about how not everyone is horrible to me and doesn’t want me here.
“I can’t just go now,” I say. “It wouldn’t be fair to Angela and Auden.”
She snorts. “They don’t care about you, sweetheart, not like I do. I wouldn’t let you out of
the house wearing a dress that just invites boys to touch you and look at you inappropriately. I
wouldn’t let you out of my sight.”
How can she say that when she used to regularly leave me for days and weeks when we
were in the woods without a word? I think about my books and the things I read about, and the
things that Bethany said to me.
“Everyone goes to parties,” I say, shrugging.
She sighs. “You need to understand that you’re not like those other girls, Serena. You’ve
never been to school with them, and you don’t understand how their twisted minds work.”
Why is she saying this? Why is she making me feel even more abnormal than I already do?
Why isn’t she telling me it’ll be fine? I pull away from her. “I wanna go home.”
She smiles. “Come on then, sweetheart, I’ll take you home.”
She thinks that I’m talking about home in the woods. She doesn’t realise that I mean I want
to go home to Angela and Auden.
“Not to the woods,” I whisper. “Not now.”
She nods slowly. “You’re too nice, Serena. Even though I don’t wanna take you back to their
house, I will. Just for you. How about you meet me in the morning and we can talk some more?”
Talking might be good for us. It might give me chance to ask her the questions that I’ve been
wondering about all of my life. “Okay,” I whisper. “There’s so much I wanna ask you.”
She sniffs and pushes both of her hands over my hair. “I’ll meet you on the beach behind
your house at eight in the morning.”
I nod.
“Come on,” she says, “I’ll walk you back to Angela and Auden’s house. It’s not safe for you to
be out at this time on your own.”
She walks me back the rest of the way without saying another word. I think she can sense
that I’m upset, but I don’t understand why she’s not asking me why. Then again, she probably
wouldn’t understand. She squeezes my hand when we reach my house.
“See you tomorrow at this very spot.”
I look down to where she’s stamped the sand with her foot and nod. “Goodnight, Mother.”
She leans forward and kisses the cut on my forehead. “Goodnight, Serena.”
I walk back into the house thinking about all that’s happened tonight. I shouldn’t have gone
to the stupid party. I’m not even sure why I did since I was already annoyed with Kaiden for not
telling me about Anastasia. I’ve clearly caused trouble between them and I really didn’t mean to. I didn’t want them to break up, and I didn’t want to be the reason for either of them arguing with the other. Maybe Anastasia was right when she said that they would have been fine if I’d have just
stayed in the woods. Anastasia said that Kaiden wished he’d never found me. I think I wish that too. I just don’t know anymore.
As I sneak across the landing towards my bedroom, I hear my parents’ door opening.
“Serena? Is that you?” Angela whispers through the darkness.
I tip-toe back down the corridor and stare down the stairs at Angela through the darkness.
She rubs her eyes and smiles at me.
“Hello,” I say. “Sorry if I woke you.”
She shakes her head. “I was listening out for you anyway. Bethany texted me to say you
were coming home.”
I’m grateful that Bethany didn’t chase me, or tell my parents that I ran from the party.
“I wanted to make sure you’d gotten home alright,” she continues.
She cares. She loves me and I love her. I don’t think I could leave either of them again. “Yes,
thank you.”
She nods. “Goodnight then, darling. Have sweet dreams.”
I smile at her. “You too.”
When her door clicks shut, I walk straight into my bathroom and flick the shower on. I need
to wash the sand off my feet and the make-up from my face. I peel the dress over my head, unclick my bra, and step out of my purple knickers and into the shower. I close my eyes and let the warmth of the water wash over my head, feeling the sting as it touches my cut. The water continues on
down my body and soaks into my muscles.
I drop the towel onto the floor and pick my favourite black silk nightie from out of my
drawers. I rub my hair with the towel, but don’t bother waiting until it’s fully dried before climbing into my bed. I haven’t even shut my eyes when I hear a tapping on my French doors. I lean up on my elbows and blink at the shadow that’s hovering behind the white sashes. I creep over the floor and pull the curtains back, jumping when I see Kaiden’s face staring at me through the glass.
He’d looked so handsome tonight when I first saw him. The black shirt he wore made his eyes
look even darker than they normally did and his tanned skin looked silky smooth. His hair looked as if he’d just pushed his hands through it and it had stuck in exactly the right place. He was beautiful, but as I’d seen tonight, he was also dangerous. Now he just looks sad and tired.
“Can I talk to you please?” he asks, the sound of his voice muffled through the glass.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I whisper, opening the doors wide for him.
He steps into my room and sighs. “I know, but I couldn’t just leave it like that between us. I
need to explain stuff to you.”
I think about how many other times we’ve fallen out. I think about how he first tried to trick
me. I think about our argument we had when he came to see me on my birthday. I think about how
it felt when his hand hit my head and then the words that Anastasia screamed at me because of him.
I know that I’ve already heard and felt enough. I’m not sure we can go back from where we are now.
“I don’t think there’s anything to explain, Kaiden.”
He pushes his hands over his face and rubs at his eyes. “Serena,” he sighs, “please. I need to
say I’m sorry.”
I leave my doors open, letting the sea breeze blow my curtains out. “You’ve said it now.”
He shakes his head and paces up and down my room. “It’s not enough though, is it? I want
