SORROW WOODS, page 16
I know it’s stupid. I know a guy like me could never be with a girl like her, especially since she hates me. But I can’t help wishing things were different. I wish I hadn’t lived with them for those few days. I wish I’d never had a taste of what freedom felt like. Most of all, I wish I’d never found them.
Serena
I sit on the bottom step of the stairs and watch the delivery driver that’s dressed in a head-to-toe navy uniform as he slowly lowers the fifteenth box onto the shiny floor.
“I think that’s the last one,” he puffs. “I’ll just go and get your invoice.”
Auden turns to me with wide eyes and a huge grin and laughs. “I can’t believe I’ve got to
carry all of these up to your bedroom.”
I smile at him. “I’ll help. I’m quite strong.”
He looks at my arms that poke out of the t-shirt Angela has given me and nods. “I guess you
do look quite strong.”
“Yeah, I had to chop firewood and fix the house and stuff, which seemed to get my muscles
working.”
He hesitates for a moment and pushes his hands into his pockets. “Were you happy there,
Serena? You weren’t mistreated or hurt in any way, were you?”
I look up and shake my head. “Kaiden asked me that question too. I wasn’t unhappy at all. I
guess I didn’t know any difference really and I wasn’t hurt, not once.”
He sighs. “That’s good then. I have always worried whether or not you were happy. I know
you didn’t miss us because you didn’t know we existed, but I at least wanted you to be happy
wherever you were.”
He looks sad. They’ve both looked sad when speaking to me. I’ve been here with them now
for four days. At first, I couldn’t get used to the noise of the ocean just outside my doors. I couldn’t get used to the feeling of another new bed. And I certainly didn’t know how to act around Angela
and Auden.
But now things are starting to feel normal. I don’t feel like I’m a stranger to them or this house anymore. They’ve not asked me any questions really, and I haven’t really asked them any yet. I just wanted to figure out how to be the Ayla they think I am, or should be, all on my own.
I feel sorry for them. I feel bad that I was taken away from them and that they’ve missed
seeing me growing up. It’s not their fault, but it isn’t my fault either. I walk over to Auden and wrap my arms tightly around his back. He squeezes me back so hard that I almost can’t breathe. It feels right.
“I love you, Serena,” he whispers into my hair.
I take in his smell that reminds me of the fake fragrance that I detected on Kaiden when I
first met him and squeeze one last time.
“I know,” I say, since I can’t think of anything else to say. “When I love you, I’ll say it back.”
He nods. “That’s all we can ever ask for.”
“Oh.”
I pull away from him as we both turn to look at Angela, who looks as if she’s about to cry. I
don’t want to go over and hug her too just because I was caught hugging Auden, so I remain where I am as we all look at each other.
“Here we go guys,” says the delivery driver, interrupting the awkwardness. “I’ve found your
invoice which says you should have fifteen boxes.” He looks up from his piece of paper and silently counts the boxes that are scattered around us. “Yup, fifteen. They didn’t have the lamp in stock that you ordered, so they’ve given you one in the same colour but a slightly different style. I hope that’s okay.”
Auden looks at me and nods. “I’m sure that’ll be fine. If it’s not, we’ll just send it back.”
The delivery man pulls his trousers up by the belt over his round belly and nods at us. “Nice
to see you back here, Serena. I’m sure your bedroom will look lovely.”
“Thank you,” I say quickly, before Auden has a chance to tell him to mind his own business.
I’ve come to realise that my disappearance didn’t just affect my parents. I get that now.
I notice a magazine on the mat by the front door and bend down to pick it up. As I flick
through it, I notice women on almost every page that sparkle and glitter at me. Their hair is smooth and shiny and styled to make them look even more beautiful than they already were. Their legs look soft and smooth and so does the rest of their skin. They wear dresses that reveal the curves of their bodies and shoes that have heels so high that I don’t know how they manage to walk in them.
“I want to look normal,” I blurt.
Both Angela and Auden turn to stare at me and the magazine in my hand. They look at each
other carefully before Angela walks towards me.
“What do you mean, darling?” she asks.
I shrug. “I saw the way Kaiden looked at me when we were in the woods. I saw him looking
at my hairy legs, and the hair in my armpits makes me sweat. I know from the books that I’ve read that girls shave and wear make-up and have their nails done and stuff.”
Angela blinks at me. “Are you sure you want to look like that though? I mean it’s not a bad
thing, but I guess it’s just different than what you’re used to.”
I nod. I’ve thought about this. I’ve thought about what would be the best way to fit back into
my life and I think that by not being hairy, it will help me to fit in better.
“I don’t wanna stand out and be different any more than I already am,” I say.
She nods. “Alright then, shall I see if the salon can fit you in today?”
“Is it the salon that does my hair and sorts my legs out and stuff?” I ask.
She smiles and nods.
“Okay then,” I agree.
“While we’re out, we should perhaps think about getting you some clothes too,” she says
thoughtfully.
I look down at the over-sized t-shirt I’m wearing and nod. “That’s probably a good idea.”
“I’m so proud of you, Serena.”
I look up at her and pick up one of the boxes. “Why?”
She picks up one of the smaller boxes and follows me up the stairs. I hear Auden trailing
behind her. “Because you’ve only been back here for four days and you’re already getting into the swing of things.”
“It wouldn’t do me any good to do it any differently though, would it? I realise the life I have
been living isn’t normal and I didn’t eat normal food or dress in a normal way, so if I’m being made to live a normal life, I may as well look and dress normal too,” I tell them.
“If that’s how you want to look at it, then it’s fine by us.” She follows me into my bare-
walled bedroom.
“Right,” sighs Auden, “how about you tell me what you want and I’ll try my best to do
exactly what you say while you’re out having your hair done.”
I point to the wall with the white sashes and the double doors that lead to my balcony. “I’d
like that wall in pink and I’d like the rest of the walls to be left white so the coloured things I’ve picked make up the colour of the room.”
He nods.
“I’d really like a pink floor and white bedding if that’s possible, but it doesn’t matter if you
can’t do that.” I point to the wall opposite my bed. “I’d like my drawers and my television unit over there with my lamp on either side, and the rest of the stuff just scattered around. Please.”
He nods and looks at the wall.
“Can I also have some shelves on the bit of wall that goes in near the bathroom?” I ask,
hoping I’m not requesting too much.
“That’s called an alcove,” he informs me. “And yes, I can make you some white shelves.
What will you use them for?”
“The books,” I say. Even as I say it, I can feel my face light up. The thought of having one
hundred new books to read makes me want to jump up and down and squeal like Elodie used to do
when she knew we were having chicken for dinner.
“You pair make sure you have a nice time and I’ll do my best up here. If it’s not finished by
the time you get back, then I promise it’ll be done tomorrow,” he says kindly.
I smile at him and follow my mother into her bedroom to try and pick out something that I
can wear to the salon. She hands me a pair of black shorts and a white vest top. My feet are smaller than hers though and don’t quite fit into her white pumps, so I have to sort of drag my feet along to make sure that the shoes don’t fall off.
I haven’t stopped staring out of the window the whole thirty minutes we’ve been driving. I’ve seen the ocean road, the palm trees that loop down over it, and several houses that are actually bigger than ours. Angela says the salon we’re going to is very discreet and in a part of town where we
shouldn’t be hassled. She says there are plenty of other people in town that the press will be
interested in. I have no idea what she means, but I hope she’s right and that they don’t bother us.
She pulls our jeep-type car up to the side of the road that people walk on, nodding towards a glass-fronted building. It looks like a small house in the middle of a parking lot.
“That’s the salon,” she says. She nods further down the street to where people are milling
along a concrete path on the side of the road that sits in front of a towering building. “And that’s the mall where you get your clothes from and things like that. It has lots of different shops inside that one building.”
I nod. I know what malls are from reading my books. I can’t wait to see inside. I’ve imagined
these sorts of places all of my life and now I’m actually going to be able to see and go in them. I get out of the car, opening the door all on my own and follow Angela to the entrance. She smiles at me and pushes the door open. The blast of cold air from the machine above the door skims over my
skin, making me shiver as I step out of the heat and into the salon.
“Good morning, Angela,” says a woman from behind the desk. She has her black hair pulled
tightly back into a ponytail on the top of her head and her face is plastered in a thick layer of something orange. Her lips are as red as blood.
“Hi, Hannah. This is Serena.”
I stop staring at the black and white floor and all of the mirrors that hang on the walls and
turn back towards the girl. Hannah stares at me and looks me up and down before smiling kindly at me. I smile back.
“Hi Serena, it’s good to see you,” she says.
“Hello,” I respond, not really knowing what else I’m supposed to say.
“So, I hear you’re here for the works, is that right?”
I nod. “Yes, please. I think I’d like my hair cut but not short, just the frizzy ends gone. And my legs and armpits are hairy. Also, I’d like some colour painted onto my nails please, if that’s alright?”
She smiles, revealing a set of almost too-bright white teeth. “Excellent. That’s exactly what I
want to hear. Let’s sit you down then, shall we?”
I follow her to a small, black and silver chair and sit down in front of the mirror. She runs her hands through my hair. “You have beautiful hair and lovely colouring, but the ends of your hair are dead.”
I nod. “How much will you cut off?”
She holds her pointing finger and her thumb a short distance apart. I can handle that.
She lifts my hand and examines my nails, then bends down in front of my face and pushes at
my eyebrows with her thumbs. She rubs her hands down my legs and hums a slow melody whilst she
does it. After a few minutes, she stands up and turns towards Angela.
“She’ll be in here for hours. Do you want to leave her with us?” Hannah asks.
“No,” she shouts. We both look up at her. She shakes her head and clears he throat. “Sorry, I
just, erm, this is her first time out of the house and I don’t want to leave her yet.”
I look at her in the reflection of the mirror as a woman who looks vaguely familiar walks into
the salon and smiles at us.
“Serena,” says Angela, “this is my Sister, Carol. She’s your Auntie.”
Carol bends down in front of me. She has the same green eyes as us, but her hair is a darker
shade of blonde and slightly longer than Angela’s.
“Hello, Serena. We’ve missed you,” Carol says to me.
“Hello,” I say.
She doesn’t wait for me to say anything else. She just smiles and touches my arm in a kind,
gentle way and stands up. “Right,” she says to Angela, “I take it you want me to go shopping?”
Angela nods. “Serena, would you mind standing up so Carol can get a look at you to try and
figure out what size you are?”
I do as I’m asked and watch two pairs of green eyes roam up and down my body.
“What about her feet?” Carol asks.
“She’s got my pumps on, but they’re a little bit too big for her. Let her try yours on. You’re a
size smaller than me, aren’t you?” asks Angela.
Carol nods and slips her pumps off. I pull my feet out of Angela’s shoes and slip them into
Carol’s. They fit perfectly.
“Size six then. What about panties and bras and stuff? Will she need them too?” Carol asks.
Angela nods. “She’ll need everything.”
Carol turns to me and sighs. “What sorts of clothes do you like, Serena? Or shall I just get
you some of everything?”
I think about all the pictures that I’ve seen of girls in magazines and the clothes they wore. “I like dresses and skirts and pretty tops with no sleeves. I like shorts and vests too though and pumps.
Oh, and those sandals that have that thing that goes in between your toes. I like to swim and run, and I think I need some clothes to wear in bed.”
“Flip-flops?” she asks.
“That’s them,” I say.
Carol pulls a phone from out of her bag and grins. “I’m going to need some help. I’ll see you
in about four hours. I’ll take the majority of the stuff back to your house, but I’ll bring a few bits back here so you can change into your nice clothes. It’ll go with your nice hair and stuff.”
“Thank you,” I say.
“Yes,” sighs Angela, “thank you, Carol.”
I watch Carol walk out of the salon, still chattering away on her phone and turn to Angela.
“Was that okay? I mean I know things cost money and you’ve already done my bedroom.”
She holds up a hand. “Trust me,” she says with a smile, “I absolutely love the fact that I’m
getting to spend money on my daughter and you absolutely need new clothes.”
“Sit back down then, madam,” says Hannah, “we’ve got a lot of work to do.”
She wasn’t kidding either. It’s been four hours since I walked in here and they’ve only just finished with me. I look up in the mirror and notice my eyebrows first. When she ripped that piece of wax
across them I could have cried, but I love how she’s shaped them over my eyes. It’s sort of changed the look of my face completely. I still can’t figure out how something as simple as your eyebrows can change your whole face, but I don’t care. I love it.
Hannah put a little bit of make-up on even though she said I didn’t really need it, so now I
have a light green mixed with a champagne colour that glitters across the top of my eyelids. She also put a coat of mascara on that makes my lashes look all separated and long. My lips have a shiny pale pink lip-gloss on them and sparkle when I smile.
She washed my hair in the most delicious-smelling coconut shampoo and rubbed it into my
scalp. It made me shiver and tingle all at the same time. She’s chopped my hair but it still hits the bottom of my back, and then dried it with a hairdryer before using something hot to curl it. It now falls in gentle waves from the centre of my head.
I cried out in pain when she used the wax strips on my armpits and my legs but it was worth it,
I think. I see my smooth legs as I look down past my white dress that pulls in at my waist, making my breasts look bigger and rounder. I wriggle my feet and stare at the sparkling flip-flops.
“I love it,” I smile. I spin around, making the bottom of the dress whirl out around me,
“although the straps on this dress feel weird.”
“You’ve probably never worn a halter-neck before, Serena,” says Hannah. “You’ll get used to
it.”
I pull a pair of sunglasses onto my face and push them up into my hair like Hannah has been
