SORROW WOODS, page 24
I jog across the wet grass and past empty wooden benches before leaning back against a tree
trunk. I watch the cars, vans, and motorcycles whiz past me down the road. I need a car or a phone or some way to call and ask to be picked up. Not that I would know where it is I need to be picked up from. I don’t even know what time it is; I just know that I’ve been walking for a long time.
One of the cars that whizzes up the road catches my eye. The little white car screeches to a
stop at the edge of the grass in the distance and then I watch Kaiden jump out of the car, flicking his cigarette to the ground. He doesn’t even close the door before he starts running over towards me. I don’t take my eyes off him, noticing that the rain drenches him within seconds. When he finally gets to me, I see that his normally spiky hair is wet and flat against his head. Trickles of water slither down his face like a river through a mountain. I watch two droplets trickle down from his upper arm and down past his colourful tattoos. He lifts his deep brown eyes up to me.
“I need to take you home, Serena. Go and get in the car.”
I shake my head. “I’m okay, thanks. Just tell me which way is home and I will walk.”
“No.”
I stare into his eyes. He looks sad.
“I’m taking you back home if I have to pick you up and carry you to the car myself,” he says.
“You won’t,” I return.
He raises his eyebrows at me. “Don’t tell me what I won’t do, Serena. Because when it
comes to you, I seem to be breaking all of my own rules.”
I can feel my eyes narrowing at him. What rules is he talking about?
“Why didn’t you tell me that you had a girlfriend? That was cruel, Kaiden. You let me hold
your hand and,” I look away, feeling embarrassed, “other stuff.”
When I glance back at him, he’s nodding. “I should have told you. At first, I didn’t think it
mattered because I was just the guy that found you. But then I started to see you more, and I knew that I should have told you. I’m sorry, Serena.”
He steps forward so he’s almost touching me. “That’s why I came to your house this morning.
Do you remember? I said I needed to talk to you.”
He’s right. He did say that straight away, but I just dragged him to the mall to get my pictures
printed. I think about them and where I’ve shoved them down my shorts, hoping they aren’t
damaged.
“She’s not very nice,” I tell him.
He nods and ruffles his hand quickly through his hair, making spots of water splash over my
face. “I know.”
“Do you love her?” I ask.
He sighs and leans back against the same tree trunk as me. “I’m not even sure I know what
love is.”
“So you don’t?”
“No.”
“Then why are you with her? Why do you let her pull your boxers down with your teeth if
you’re not in love with her?” I persist.
He smiles. “You’ve read lots of books, Serena. Is the girl always in love with the boy when
she has sex with him?”
I realise I sound stupid. Of course Kaiden Matthews has had sex. He’s nearly eighteen. He’s
handsome, fun, and has that hint of danger that all the girls seem to love. Those sorts of guys always have women throwing themselves at them. How stupid of me to think he wouldn’t have.
“Have you only had sex with Anastasia?” I ask. Now that I’ve already started questioning him, I
want to know more.
He huffs and shakes his head. “I’m not telling you.”
“Why not?” I ask dumbfounded.
“I don’t want to,” he says simply.
“Why?”
He sort of growls at me and kicks the tree with his foot. “Because I don’t want to tell you.”
I snort. “Why are you keeping secrets from me? I told you I wanted you to be honest with
me.”
“You won’t want me to be honest about this. Trust me,” he says.
“I do,” I say quickly. “I want you to be honest about everything.”
“Fine,” he sighs, “I’ve had lots and lots of sex, and not just with Anastasia. I love having sex.
I’d do it all day every day if I could. I love women and I love their bodies.” He shrugs. “I guess I’m not the boy that you thought I was. Do you hate me now? Are you happy now you’ve got your answers?”
I think about all those other girls that he’s touched and kissed, and how they must have
touched and kissed him. I wanted to kiss him. I would have let him kiss me, but now I know it
wouldn’t mean the same thing to him as it means to me. I’m stupid to have thought he could have
liked me. I’ve read enough books to know that a boy like Kaiden doesn’t want a girl like me.
“I don’t hate you, but I don’t really like you either,” I say.
He laughs and then straightens up, looking at me seriously. “I love how honest you are.”
I shrug. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to say anything back to that.
“Are you going to get in the car?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I’m not going to cling on to someone else’s boyfriend anymore, Kaiden. I
can get home myself. Just tell me the way.”
“You’re not clinging on to me, Serena. What she said back there was wrong. I like spending
time with you. You make me laugh more than anyone else I know,” he tells me sincerely.
I look at him. His soft, full lips pull up at the corners, making a little dimple appear in his
cheek. “That’s because you’re laughing at me.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. That’s what it feels like now. Anastasia was right. I need to find my own
friends and learn to do my make-up or something, and maybe I should cut my hair while I’m at it.
Even then I’ll probably never be normal, Kaiden.”
“Don’t you dare change a thing. I like you just the way you are. I like you because of the way you are.”
I sniff and shake my head. “I’m not getting in the car, so you may as well leave me.”
“I would never leave you,” he says, sounding as if it means it. But it doesn’t change anything.
“Just go,” I whisper. If I continue looking at his wet face and the trickles of water that sneak
down past his nose and tickle at the corner of his mouth, then I’m gonna start liking him again and I know that’s pointless.
He huffs and bends down. “I told you I’d carry you.”
Suddenly, everything I see is upside down as he flings me over his shoulder. He taps my
backside once and starts to walk to his car with his arm wrapped tightly around my knees.
“Put me down, Kaiden,” I demand.
“I will,” he says, “once you’re in my car.”
I start to wriggle and kick my legs, but he just clamps his arms tighter around me. “Stop it. I’ll drop you.”
“Good,” I huff, “and then I can run away from you.”
“Serena, have you not heard a word I’ve been saying? I’ll never let you run away from me.”
I say nothing and just watch the wet ground bounce underneath me as he strides forward.
As we near his car, his arm shifts and then he swings me onto my feet in one swift movement.
I turn and stare at the car.
“Get in,” he orders.
I think about making a face at him or arguing, but I know that’s something Elodie would do
and I’m not six years old. I simply throw him a frown and get into the car.
When he climbs in, he leans across me to grab the seatbelt. His face is centimetres from
mine. I stare at him. He stops when his hand closes around the seatbelt and turns to look at me.
I can smell the rain and fresh air that’s resonating off his wet skin. I can feel his scorching hot breath breeze across my lips. His eyes lock onto mine and then they fall down my face until he looks at my lips. I don’t fight the urge to lick them and quickly run my tongue along my lips. They taste salty. I hadn’t realised before when I was walking, but the rain here tastes like the salty waters of the sea. The rain in the woods just tasted like water. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before he pulls the seat belt across my chest and clicks it into place. He mutters something incoherent and then faces forward in his seat, pressing the ignition button.
I place my hands in my lap and look out of the window as the car rumbles to life. “I don’t
know who I am anymore, Kaiden,” I confess.
I don’t turn to look at him to see if he’s looking at me and he doesn’t speak, but it’s a good
five minutes before the car moves away from where we are parked.
I’m almost dry by the time he pulls up in the front of my house. Kaiden kills the engine, but
doesn’t turn to look at me.
I unclick my seatbelt and let it slither across me and back into its holder. “Thank you for
taking me.”
He nods.
I finger the handle and click it open. “I don’t think we should see each other for a while,” I
say. “I don’t want to upset your girlfriend or cause any trouble for you.”
He laughs. “She’s always upset about something.”
If she’s like that all the time, then why is he even with her? I don’t understand why people
stay with someone if they don’t make them laugh every single day. Even when I was in the woods
and didn’t actually know what love or lust felt like, I always thought girls that stayed with their boyfriends when they didn’t really like them were stupid.
“Goodbye, Kaiden,” I say as I start to leave.
“Wait,” he says, turning towards me. “I’m having a party at my house on Friday. Will you
come? I’d really like it if you were there.”
I swallow. “I won’t know anyone.”
“You will,” he says, smiling. “Your cousin Bethany is coming, so you could come with her.”
I clear my throat. I don’t really know Bethany, and I’m not sure she’d like me tagging along
with her.
“Maybe,” I whisper. “I doubt it though. Bye, Kaiden.”
His hand shoots out and grabs my arm as I throw my legs out of the car. “Please,” he says, “I
really want you there, Serena.”
I shake my head. “I’m not promising anything.”
He nods. “Okay,” he says and I exit the car before he can say anything else.
Kaiden
I throw open my front door and crash through the hallway and into the kitchen where I find my
brother, Zak, cooking eggs. He turns when I barge into the room and smirks at me. I want to hit him right then and there. All of my anger that I feel towards Anastasia and the situation that I’ve found myself in with Serena is coursing through my veins, threatening to spill out any second now.
“Don’t start,” I grunt, slumping against the counter. “I’m not in the mood.”
He scrambles the eggs with the spatula. “I can see that. Are you going to hit me with a
baseball bat again?” he asks, obviously trying to lighten up my mood.
The reminder of what I did doesn’t make me feel less angry. If anything, it riles me up even
more. “I might,” I huff, “if you don’t keep your stupid comments to yourself.”
He pulls a tray of sausages from out of the oven and drops them noisily onto the counter.
“I’m making sausage and egg sandwiches. Do you want some?”
I think about how I rushed out of the house this morning without eating breakfast and nod
at him. “Yeah. Please.”
He turns around and raises his eyebrows at me but doesn’t mention the fact that, for the
first time in our lives, I’ve just used my manners when conversing with him. I push my hands in my pockets whilst I watch him finish our meal and feel the shiny paper brush against my fingers. I pull the picture of Serena out. It’s the one where she’s sitting in the middle of a bed of flowers. I smooth it down against the counter and stare at her.
Right there in that moment, she looks more beautiful than I’ve ever seen her look before. The
sun beats down against her blonde hair, making it shimmer in the light. Her bright green eyes shine brighter than the grass that she’s sitting on, and the purple, pink, and white flowers contrast
perfectly with her dress. Her tanned skin gleams and glows in the light, making her already pearly-white teeth look even whiter.
When I watched her through the viewfinder, I didn’t want to take her to my bed. I wanted to
hold her hand and pull her into me and protect her for the rest of her life. I imagined spooning her in bed and smelling her hair as she fell asleep in my arms.
Zak walks over to me and places my food down in front of me, eyeing the photograph. “So
that’s Serena?”
I look up at him and watch his eyes as they trail over my girl. “That’s her,” I say, taking a bite of my sandwich. The eggs are the best I’ve ever had. I never knew he could cook.
He nods and pushes the picture back over to me. “She’s hot.”
I chew. I continue to chew until there’s no other option but for me to swallow. “Yes, she is.”
“You like her, don’t you?” he asks astutely.
I think about all the conversations we’ve had over the past few years and can only recall
maybe two. I’ve always been jealous of him because he was clever, good at everything he ever did, and especially because he was Mom and Dad’s favourite. Because of that, I’ve never been bothered
to get to know him as an adult. “Yeah, I like her a lot.”
“What about the lovely Anastasia?” he asks.
I shrug. “She’s not Serena.”
“Oooh,” he teases, “you’ve got it bad.”
“What do you mean?” I ask angrily.
He sits down opposite me with his own plate of food. “You’re comparing your own girlfriend
to Serena and saying she’s not good enough. That’s never a good sign.”
I smile at him. “You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew Serena.”
“I’d like to know her,” he says cheekily.
“No,” I hiss, standing up quickly from my seat. Zak doesn’t flinch or look scared like he
normally does when my temper gets the better of me. He simply takes a bite of his sandwich and
watches me.
“Leave her alone. I mean it, Zak,” I warn.
“Relax,” he says, smiling as if he’s just won his very first argument with me. “I was only
messing with you. Well, I was only kidding about me getting to know her, but she is most definitely hot.”
I slump back down in my seat and pick my sandwich back up.
“What I don’t get is why you’re not doing anything about it. That’s not like you.”
I shrug. “I’m no good for her.”
“You’re no good for anyone,” he says bluntly.
I nod. “True.”
He leans back in his chair and folds his arms across his chest. “But that doesn’t normally stop
you.”
I shake my head and put the picture of her back into my coat. “No, you’re right about that.
But she’s too sweet and innocent. We wouldn’t work.”
“You could,” he says, as he takes the last bite of his food and pushes his empty plate away
from him. “If you were nice. It’s not hard to do, Kaiden.”
I smirk. “It would be too hard. I’d do something stupid, like I always do and then we’d argue.
And I know that I’d just turn the whole argument around and blame her for it anyway, or I’d throw it back in her face that I had found her, or that I wished I hadn’t.”
“You make yourself sound like a monster,” he says.
“That’s what I am. That’s what Mom said,” I remind him.
He rolls his eyes. “That was seven years ago. I’ve forgiven you, and I think Mom has even
forgotten it ever happened.”
“I haven’t,” I admit.
“The difference is that now you’re sorry about it. That’s what matters.”
Am I sorry about it? I’m not sure. “Maybe,” I offer.
Before he can say anything else, the front door clicks open. We both sit and stare at the
doorway to the kitchen until Anastasia appears in it.
