Promise Me, page 4
"Julia checking up on you again?" I laugh at his comment, while digging my cell phone out of my purse, knowing he's probably right. Instead, I freeze when I see a phone number I'm not familiar with but has a 610 area code, my hometown.
"Sabrina, are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost," he says. My mind scrambles through a variety of ways to tackle this. I can answer the call and just get it over with. The thought of talking to Lisa here, right now, doesn't particularly appeal to me. Like, at all. I can excuse myself but that idea doesn't win me over either. Somehow I know I'm just not ready to deal with her. Especially here with Alex just a few inches away from me. Whatever happens during this call will undoubtedly affect me. I mean, ten years is a long time not to talk to the very person who betrayed you without a second thought. Deciding to ignore the call for now and strategize my next move, it stops ringing. A few seconds later it vibrates again alerting me to a new voice mail.
"Sabrina?"
"Yes," I say with an obvious shakiness in my voice and turn to face him, "I'm fine, just... I should really be going home." I stand up and go to grab my purse. "Thank you for the drink."
He takes my hand, effectively stopping me in my tracks and says, "You don't look alright to me and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you leave me like this. Please just sit and tell me what that was about." He motions to the now empty bar stool next to him and lets go of my hand. Nervously, I take my seat again and instinctively grab my glass of wine for some liquid courage. Finishing its contents, I put the glass back down on the bar. It didn't help. I'm still in a tailspin over the call and whatever it is she may have left for me to hear. Glancing to my left I see Alex in rapt attention, waiting for me to continue.
"Do you need more," he says pointing to the empty glass in front of me.
"Yes, no, I mean no. No, I don't. I'm really okay, Alex. I'll be fine," slightly flustered now since he's already alerting the bartender for another round.
Before I can say another word, the bartender puts another glass of wine in front of me. Alex takes a sip of his beer, all the while keeping his eyes on me. It's really disconcerting at this point; he is my boss, why would he want to know so much about me? Unless of course, Julia is right and there is more to his flirting than I previously had given credit to. Either way, I can't tell him about this. He'll think I'm certifiable. I need to put an end to this right now before the alcohol gives me the mental green light.
"I'd really rather not get into it right now," I say to him, "I appreciate your concern, I really do, but I'll be fine."
"Sabrina," he pauses, putting his bottle on the bar and turning completely around in his seat to face me again, "you've worked for me for the past two years, right?" I nod, trying to avert his eyes, but he doesn't let me. He takes my hand again and squeezes it softly. "I know I'm your boss, but I hope that I'm not being too forward by saying that I'm really interested in knowing more about you."
My stomach is in knots. Scratch that. I feel like a twisted up pretzel in a contortionist's dream. My pulse is racing and my mouth has dropped open. With his free hand, he taps lightly once on my chin, forcing me to close my mouth as his lips curl up in a smile.
"Alex, I'm flattered, but..."
I let go of his hand and try to regain my composure. I push my seat away from the bar and abruptly stand up to leave. "Good night and thank you for the drink."
I'm suffocating; I need to get out of here as quickly as possible. Rushing through the people in the bar, I'm also hoping he doesn't follow me. The panic flowing through my veins is at an all time high as a couple of people step aside and I see the front door like a beacon ahead of me. The air outside hits my lungs and I'm finally able to breathe. Taking in quick breaths of the salty air around me, I look right, then my left before setting on foot down the block towards my car. If I'm being honest with myself, I'm not sure whether it was Lisa's phone call or Alex's disclosure that has me reeling. Once I'm sitting in my car, I pull my cell phone out of my purse and stare at it as if it's going to explode in my hands. I can't bring myself to listen to the message just yet. Throwing it carelessly on my passenger seat, I start my car and head home.
Walking through the front door, I see a pajama clad Julia sprawled out on the couch with her feet propped up on the coffee table, watching a rerun of Seinfeld. In a flash, she reaches for the remote, shuts off the television and says, "Tell me everything. I mean it, Sabrina. I want to hear everything about your date with Sawyer."
Quizzically, I look up at her as I'm flinging my purse to the ground and plunk down beside her on the couch. "Sawyer? What exactly have you been doing while I've been gone? You're really starting to worry me, Julia."
"Hardy har har," she says through a fake smile. "I just realized tonight who Alex looks like. He totally could be Sawyer's twin from Lost. Now, tell me how he called you Freckles and how he wants to take you to an island somewhere to live and have lots and lots of sex."
"Ha! If only that was what actually happened," I say to her while I shake my head and take a moment to pull my hair out of its clip so it falls just below my shoulders. Putting my feet on the coffee table, mimicking Julia's position, I give her the blow by blow.
"Lisa called while I was at the bar with him." Holding up my hand to keep her from interrupting me, I keep right on talking. "No, I didn't answer. She left me a voicemail that I still haven't listened to. Then, I had what can only be described as a mini freak out in front of Alex, who proceeded to tell me that he's definitely interested in me being more than his employee. My panic drove me to abandon him at the bar. I literally ran off and hid in my car before driving myself home."
For the first time in all the time I've known Julia, she's speechless. "Give me a minute to process this," she says as she takes her feet off the coffee table and begins rubbing the heels of her hands on her eyes.
"Okay," she says when she pulls her hands away from her face, "first, let me just say, I told you so about Alex. Now that we know for sure he definitely wants in your pants, what are you going to do about it?"
Thinking over the night's events and everything that has led me to this point in my life, I already know my answer. As much as I am obviously attracted to Alex, I can't put aside the fact that he is my boss and mixing business with pleasure is not something that I'm interested in pursuing. It kind of sucks. I can tell he's actually a good guy.
"Nothing."
"Are you fucking kidding me? Please tell me you're joking." She picks up her left hand to count off all the reasons I've lost my mind. "One, he's hot. Two, he's successful. Three, he's smart. And four, he's hot."
Before I can say anything in my defense, she beats me to the punch. "I know I said he's hot twice, but it most definitely bears repeating."
Feeling defeated, I bring my knees up from the coffee table and encircle my arms around them. I don't know how to tell her that I'm putting all my hopes in a basket with a big bow on it called "Tyler". His memory alone, I think, has ruined me for other men. Every time someone has ever been potentially interested in me, something always keeps me from giving in completely. It wasn't until tonight -when my past and present collided at the bar- I realized it's because of him.
Just above a whisper I say, "It's because of Tyler."
"What do you mean, 'it's because of Tyler'?"
"I don't know how to say it without sounding like I'm crazy, Julia. I need to go home in a few weeks and see him. I need it so much that it scares me to death."
The great thing about Julia is that she knows exactly how to deal with my brand of crazy. She sweetly takes the hair that has fallen in front of my face and sweeps it over my shoulder and says, "Sabrina, what if he doesn't show up? I know, I know, trust me, no one wants him to show up more than me. But, what if he doesn't?"
"Honestly, as much as I'm hoping he'll be there too, I know that I need to deal with all of my past, not just him."
She smiles, sweeping me up in a big hug before she says, "I know you do, sweetie, and I'm so proud of you for having the guts to go through with it. I know having to see them again is not going to be easy for you. Speaking of which, let's listen to the voicemail that whore left you."
I nod nervously and retrieve my cell phone from my purse that is on the floor beside the couch. I slide the "unlock" feature and bring up my voicemail. Before I press play, I hand the phone over to Julia. "You do it."
"With pleasure," she says eagerly. We're both now huddled together listening to Lisa's voice, which after ten years, still makes me shudder.
"Sabrina, it's Lisa. I heard from your mom that you're coming to the reunion. What I want to know is why? What could you possibly gain by showing your face around here? I doubt you'll call me back, so I just hope you get this message loud and clear... nobody wants you here!"
It's so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. We're staring at each other, and then staring at the phone until Julia can't take it anymore, "Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong! That bitch is going down!"
It's been about three weeks since my "date" with Alex. Being the gentleman that he is, he has since apologized for coming on too strong. Thankfully, he's hasn't brought up that night again and our working relationship has not suffered. Lisa has not called me again, nor have I made any attempt to call her back. My mother, on the other hand, has moved on to what Julia calls, "Defcon level 5". She's been calling me every day for the past week since my flight is scheduled to leave in a couple of days. She's asked if Lisa ever called me, but I've decided to keep that tidbit of information to myself.
That call changed something in me. Ever since I heard her voice, all these years later, I've been feeling surprisingly resolved to confront my past. I've had little time to dwell on it since I've been quite busy working on the latest exhibit for the gallery. The opening is tonight and the theme perfectly ties in with how I've been feeling: Hope. For the first time in a long time, I have the overwhelming feeling of hope that whatever comes my way, I'll get through it. I've even come to terms a bit with my mini obsession with Tyler. Whether or not I see him -and yes, I'm still hoping for the latter- I know I'll be alright regardless.
Putting the finishing touches on my outfit for the opening, I take a quick perusal of myself in my dressing mirror. Plum, stretchy, just above the knee dress with kimono sleeves. The right sleeve is a little longer, so it hangs off my shoulder to show just the right amount of skin. I've worn my hair in a low, side swept ponytail, matched with my silver chandelier earrings. Slipping on my black strappy heels, I hear Julia in the other room yelling at some poor soul from her staff. From what I can make out, someone did not get the caterers the memo that they were supposed to be at the gallery at least two hours before the opening. I cringe at every obscenity that flies out of her mouth. I have no idea how anyone in their right mind would want to work for her. Shaking my head, I turn the corner into our living room, catching her as she's flipping her phone shut and I get my first full look at her ensemble for the night. Wow. Her eyebrows rise up and she looks down at herself before she asks, "What? Is there something on my face?"
Her black, sleeveless, fit and flare cocktail dress is cut slightly higher on the thigh, showcasing her beautiful long, toned and tanned legs.
"You look incredible."
"Thanks sweetie, you don't look so bad yourself," she says winking at me. "You ready?"
"Yep, I'll follow you in my car," I tell her and then head out the front door.
Arriving at the gallery a short while later, it's a whirlwind of commotion. Catering crew, event staff, and my co-workers are bustling in every direction. Sarah grabs me as soon as I walk in to tell me that the caterers arrived late, to which I laugh out loud since I know they must have gotten an earful already from Julia directly or from someone in her staff. From the corner of my eye, I see Julia talking to Alex, probably about the same exact issue. Darting through several bodies dressed in white tuxedo shirts and black slacks, I take a last walk through of all the pieces that I selected for the exhibit. This is my favorite part of an opening; being able to see all the pieces in the right lighting before all the guests arrive and I'm too busy to get a quiet moment to appreciate them for myself.
When I reach the last painting, which is furthest away from the hustle and bustle that is currently going on within the gallery, I hear footsteps approaching me from behind.
"You've done an amazing job, Sabrina... as usual, of course."
I keep my back to him, staring at the painting in front of me for a moment longer. "Thank you, Alex."
Finally turning around to face him, I find myself still in awe of how handsome he is. The man is simply breathtaking. Smiling now, he comes up a bit closer to me and asks, "You're going on vacation in a couple of days, yes?"
"Yes, I am."
"Well, I hope you have a good time, wherever you're going," he says and inches even closer to me. Putting my hands up to keep some space between us, they come in contact with his stomach, and OH MY GOD, he must be carved out of stone.
"Alex, I thought I made it clear that I'm not interested in...," I'm cut off when he bends down and lightly presses his lips against mine. I'm too startled to move. Suddenly, his hands cup my face as he gently coaxes my lips open until I'm kissing him back on my own. My hands, that were trying to keep him at a safe distance, are now around his waist, holding him close to me. Coming to my senses, I break off the kiss. I'm sure my cheeks are flush with not only embarrassment, but desire too. He's looking at me until he breaks the uncomfortable silence between us, "Sabrina, you can't tell me that you don't feel something between us."
"Alex, I can't."
Pulling his hands reluctantly away from my face, he backs up a step before saying, "You're seeing someone else, aren't you? I didn't think so at first, but from the look on your face, I'm thinking I might be right."
I can't answer him because how can I possibly begin to explain that there technically isn't someone else, as much as, the idea of someone else. Before I can attempt to talk my way out of this, Sarah calls out for me from the other side of the gallery. Stepping aside to try to move around him, he grabs my hand and says, "I hope he knows how special you are," then lets me go and stalks away.
The rest of the night goes by rather quickly. The showcased artists speak with prospective buyers, while I spend my time between guests and the event staff. I keep my distance from Alex but I catch him staring at me at one point and quickly avert my eyes. I see Julia a couple of times, but neither of us have any time to stop and talk. Quite a few pieces sell, and from all indications, the event is a success. As the evening draws to a close all that's left are some of Julia's staff, a few co-workers, and Alex. I finally get Julia cornered long enough to tell her most of what happened with him earlier.
"You're killing me."
"How exactly am I killing you?" I ask her, throwing my hands up in the air in defeat.
"Look at him over there, Sabrina."
We both turn to look over in Alex's direction as nonchalantly as possible without attracting attention to ourselves. He's in a deep conversation with Sarah, who is busily taking notes without having to look up at him.
"Are you sure you want to pass that up? Maybe you can just take him for a test drive," she says and licks her lips at the sight of him.
"Test drive?"
"Girl, you need to tap that."
I lightly take her by the elbow and pull her away until we are in an alcove in the gallery so that she can no longer drool at the sight of him.
"Julia, I can't 'tap' that as you so beautifully put it. He is my boss, or did you forget?"
"Nope, didn't forget at all. That makes it even hotter, actually. Just imagine yourself being summoned to his office. He grabs you and pushes you face down on his desk, pulls up your skirt and starts to spank you with a ruler. Then he starts to stroke your..."
Before she goes any further I hiss between clenched teeth, "Stop! Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? Is this what you daydream about?"
She blankets herself with her arms, rubbing them as if she's trying to keep herself warm before she looks at me with apologetic eyes. "Sorry, I don't know what came over me. I watched Secretary recently and just got a little carried away in my head."
"I can't be with him like that. Not only because of the whole boss thing, but because of you know what too," I say warily and look over my shoulder to make sure no one is within ear shot.
"I know, sorry. Listen, just keep it as professional as possible and most importantly, do not be alone with him."
"Alone with whom," I hear a familiar voice say.
Alex. Damn it all to hell! Just my luck. He walks up right at this moment. Julia looks at me like she's a deer caught in the headlights. She quickly recovers, turns to him and says, "Oh, no one in particular, just girl talk, you know."
"Julia, would you give us a moment please?" He asks, keeping his eyes on me the entire time. Since I know she doesn't think I should be alone with him, I already know what her answer will be.
"Sure, no problem. See you at home, Sabrina."
Traitor. Benedict Arnold. I can't believe she just did that. I'm staring at her in shock as she quickly marches out of view until I hear her far off voice instructing her remaining staff to pack it up, or else. Coming back to the task at hand, I look at Alex who is trying to stifle a grin, but it's not working too well.
"Don't laugh, it's not funny," I say while I try to keep a straight face.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snuck up on you both like that. That was very rude of me."
He starts to close the space between us, so I automatically put up both my hands to stop him before he gets any closer. "Alex, I can't do this. Please don't make this any more difficult than it is."
"Fine, understood," he stops and then quickly nods, "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, Sabrina. The last thing I want to do is lose you."
I look at him with a raised eyebrow in confusion before he clarifies further while grinning, "As a business colleague."
