The Last Place You Look, page 5
After the third time she caught Julia glancing her way, she gave in to the urge to do something about it. If she’d read the signals all wrong, Julia could blow her off. She set down her beer and said to Chris, “I’ll be right back.”
“Where are you—”
She lifted a hand. “I’ll be right back.”
In the twenty or so seconds it took her to cross the room, Taylor threw together a plan. She hoped it would give Julia an out if she wanted it without ruining things if she didn’t. Not that there could be much mistaking complete mortification. As she approached, Julia caught her gaze once again. The pleading morphed into confusion.
“Julia Pierce, is that you?”
Julia narrowed her eyes. “Taylor?”
“Oh, wow. It’s been ages. How are you?”
“I’m good.” She shot a seemingly apologetic look to her date. “Um, how are you?”
“Well, I was okay for a while, but then the whole accident. You heard about it, right? So sad.” She made a show of covering her mouth with her hand and shaking her head.
Julia nodded. “I know. I know. How are you holding up?”
It was all the invitation she needed to plow on. Taylor wasn’t a pro when it came to fake tears, but she did her best. “Just—just doing the best we can.”
“I can’t even imagine.” Julia patted her arm.
Taylor dropped a line about wanting to catch up and share memories, then one about not wanting to disturb her evening. She added a dramatic sigh and a sniffle to the latter. She wouldn’t win any awards for her acting, but Julia played along like a champ. After a bit of back and forth, Julia said something about needing to be there for a friend and hoping her date understood. The date scowled but didn’t argue. Julia insisted on paying the tab and gave the woman a half-hearted hug. Then she put her arm around Taylor and led her to a relatively quiet corner of the bar.
“Okay, that was amazing. I don’t know how to thank you.”
“Honestly, the look on your face is enough. Do I get to ask what that was all about?”
Julia rolled her eyes. “First date. Also, last date.”
Taylor snickered. “That bad, huh?”
“You have no idea.”
“Where did you find her?”
Julia sighed. “Online. Isn’t that what everyone does?”
She had a few times, never with much success. She got why it appealed to so many people, especially in rural places without much of a queer scene. Still. She couldn’t quite get behind it. “I wouldn’t say everyone.”
“Well, I’m not giving up, but definitely a less than stellar start. I’m not sure why I thought dating would be easy.”
Taylor considered a commentary on the difference between getting dates and enjoying them but thought better of it. “What you need is a wingman.”
Julia raised a brow. “Wingman?”
“A trusted friend to scout hotties with and who will come to your rescue when you find yourself in unfortunate situations.” Even as the words formed, she couldn’t believe she was saying them.
“And you’re offering your services?”
The thought of helping Julia score hookups made her stomach clench uncomfortably, but it had nothing on the idea of Julia stuck in an awkward or, worse, unsafe situation. “I am.”
Julia grinned. “You’re hired.”
Even more surprising than her offer was Julia’s instant acceptance. “Really?”
“Well, I’d rather not need one, but clearly I do.” She rolled her eyes again.
Taylor stuffed down the part of her that screamed what a terrible idea this was. Julia mattered, way more than her libido. “So, you’re okay?”
“Yes. And thank you again for coming to my rescue. I was working on making a graceful exit, I just hadn’t figured out how to do it yet.”
Taylor laughed even as she died a little on the inside. “Anytime.”
Julia started like she’d just remembered something important. “Oh, no. I didn’t pull you away from a date, did I?”
It probably came from a place of being considerate, but Taylor let herself believe Julia might not like the idea of her on a date with another woman. “Just my brother.”
Her eyes lit up. “Right, right. Chris. I saw him come in with you. How is he?”
“He’s good. Do you want to join us? We were going to grab dinner.”
Julia glanced over to where Chris sat. “I’m good, I think. But thanks.”
“You sure?” She didn’t want to press, but she also didn’t really want Julia to go.
“Yeah, I think I need a shower.” She shuddered dramatically.
Taylor couldn’t help but laugh. “All right. You text me tomorrow? We’ll work on your game plan.”
Julia offered a playful salute. “You got it, Coach.”
She left and Taylor reluctantly returned to Chris. She flopped in her chair and took a long swig of her now tepid beer. What had she just gotten herself into?
“You want to tell me what that was all about?” Chris eyed her with more amusement than concern.
“Just helping out a damsel in distress.”
“Damsel, huh? Was that Julia Pierce?”
“One and the same.” She’d never confided her crush on Julia. Not something one shared with a brother, even a twin. But it wouldn’t surprise her if he’d picked up on it. He was the quiet type like her, always observing more than participating in the conversations around him. Whether he did, or whether he remembered it, was another matter.
“Didn’t you have a thing for her in high school?”
Well, that answered that. “Slight. Not the unrequited love sort.”
He nodded slowly. “Do you still?”
She didn’t want to answer that question, at least not out loud. “She’s been away for like ten years and back for two weeks. That would be kind of sad, wouldn’t it?”
“Eh.” He shrugged. “First loves have a way of lingering.”
“Says the guy who’s gotten pretty much every guy he’s ever wanted. She wasn’t my first love anyway, so it’s a moot point.”
He merely raised a brow.
“I’m serious.” She’d never been in love, not even close. Julia was the first girl she’d had a real crush on, or at least the first one she really understood as a crush. Not like she’d been closeted, just not interested in dating. In hindsight, of course, she could see it had been a matter of not finding boys interesting and a shortage of lesbian role models. Once she’d sorted that out, having a thing for Julia just sort of happened.
Chris lifted both hands. “Okay, okay. But are you going to tell me why you had to go talk to her?”
“She was on a really bad date and I gave her an out.” She shrugged, hoping to make it seem like no big deal.
“Uh-huh. And you gleaned that from two minutes of observation?”
She should have known he wouldn’t let her off the hook. He might be quiet, but he was opinionated. And had the no-nonsense teacher thing working for him. “Well, I happen to know she’s wading back into the dating pool, so when I saw how uncomfortable she looked, I deduced.”
“Ah. You and your powers of deduction. How, exactly, do you know she’s, as you say, wading in?”
In addition to being introverted and gay, Chris was emotionally aware. It was one of her favorite things about him and made it easy to think of him as her best friend as well as her brother. Sometimes, though, it proved rather inconvenient. Like this one.
Chances were high she was going to end up telling him everything. Probably better to do it from the get-go. “I bumped into her at Nuts & Bolts and ended up helping her fix a window. I saw her again at Fairmount Ridge when I delivered the new wine racks and we chatted. She moved back after her divorce.”
“She told you all of that and the fact that she’s dating?”
“I asked if she wanted to grab dinner sometime. I figured it must suck to come back to a place and know a lot of people but not have a lot of friends.”
“And you’re such a good friend.”
At his suggestive tone, she gave him a solid punch to the arm. “Dude, don’t be crass.”
“I’m not being crass. She probably could use a friend or two. And if she’s dating, you might manage to be one with benefits.”
As much as she might like to take Julia to bed, the idea of being a friend with benefits—one of several or, worse, many—made her uncomfortable. “It’s not like that.”
“You’re saying if she wanted to sleep with you, you’d turn her down?”
This conversation was going from bad to worse. “I’m saying she wants to date a lot of people and that’s not my scene.”
“So, even if she tried to have sex with you, you wouldn’t?”
“I volunteered to be her wingman, so I don’t think it’s something I need to worry about.” She really hoped she didn’t wind up regretting that.
“That’s pretty definitive friend zone space, you know.”
She did. “But clearly she could use the help. You should have seen the tool she was with.”
“You’re a regular knight in shining armor.”
“It’s not like that, either.” He didn’t mean it as an insult, but it wasn’t a compliment either. She had a tendency to do the noble thing, and it had come back to bite her on more than one occasion. But even after learning her lesson, she couldn’t seem to banish the trait from her personality. Truth be told, she didn’t want to. She didn’t need to be some hero for the hapless or helpless, but she held on to the hope of meeting a woman who was smart and fierce and independent, but who also didn’t mind being taken care of.
“If you say so, T. If you say so.”
“I do.”
He picked up his menu. “Now that we’ve established you’re not playing hero, can we order? I’m starving.”
She was happy to drop the matter. “That, we can agree on.”
She settled on a burger, ordered a second beer. She listened as Chris gave her the blow-by-blow of how his students fared on the English Regents exam. Their food came and conversation lulled. She’d been pretty hungry herself. By the time they said their good-byes in the parking lot, the topic of Julia had faded to the background. It was a relief, even if—or maybe because—Julia remained front and center in her brain.
Chapter Six
Julia angled herself back and forth in front of the mirror. The dress was casual, but the deep vee in the front felt a little too revealing for a first date, especially at Jeb’s. She started toward her closet to look for another option before catching herself and turning back. “That’s why you’re wearing it,” she said to her reflection.
She added a pair of dangly earrings and low-heeled sandals, spritzed on her favorite perfume. On her way out, she double-checked her phone. Nothing from her date, but there was a text from Taylor confirming their plan to meet half an hour prior to strategize. She grabbed her keys and purse and told herself the lack of communication wasn’t an omen of how her evening would go.
Two hours later, she finished the last of her wine and drummed her fingers on the bar. “I had a feeling she wasn’t going to show.”
“Why do you say that?” Taylor sipped her beer and looked genuinely interested in the answer.
“You sent me a confirmation text and she didn’t. It struck me at the time, but I hoped I was wrong.”
“I’m sorry you weren’t.”
Julia pointed at Taylor and made a circle with her finger. “Don’t. Don’t even think about it.”
“What?” Taylor looked legitimately alarmed.
“You were about to feel sorry for me and I won’t stand for it.” Because she felt plenty pathetic on her own.
Taylor frowned. “I don’t feel sorry for you.”
“Really? Because those sad puppy eyes of yours are telling a different story.”
“I don’t have sad puppy eyes.”
She did and if they weren’t busy making Julia feel like a loser, they’d be making her sappy in all sorts of other ways that were probably a bad idea. “Yeah, you do. So knock it off.”
“Okay. No sad eyes. No moping. We should do something fun with our night. I’d hate for all that pretty to go to waste.”
Julia lifted her chin. “You know my answer should be that I get pretty for myself.”
Taylor hung her head. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
God, did she have to be so nice about everything? “I said should be, not is. I totally wouldn’t go to all this trouble for myself.”
Taylor let out a chuckle. “I still stand corrected.”
“You really don’t have any other plans?” Julia asked.
Taylor took a deep breath and tried to decide how honestly to answer. No, she didn’t have other plans. She’d specifically made a point of not making other plans so she’d be available if Julia needed her. Her own special blend of pathetic. “I don’t.”
Julia grinned. “Well, I’m sad to need a B-team, but I’m glad you’re it.”
She was sorting out a clever comeback when Julia’s gaze shifted to the door. Taylor’s followed and she found herself looking at a rather harried looking woman dressed in dark jeans and blue button-down. The woman looked their way. Her heart sank.
“Julia?” she asked.
Julia nodded. “Bianca?”
The woman smiled. “I am. And I am so sorry I’m late. It involves a flat tire and dropping a lug wrench on my phone.”
Julia offered her a sympathetic look. “Oh, no.”
She glanced at Taylor. “Am I too late? I hope you’ll at least give me the chance to reschedule.”
Julia shot Taylor an apologetic look. Taylor swallowed her disappointment. “I was just going. Julia, it was great to bump into you. I’ll see you around I’m sure.”
It was the line they’d agreed to earlier, the one where Julia’s response would tell her whether or not she wanted Taylor to stick around. She knew it was dumb, and watching Julia’s date play out was torturing herself, but she couldn’t help but want Julia to want her to stay close.
“Give my best to your mom.”
And with that utterly innocuous phrase, she was dismissed. She stood. “You, too.”
She headed toward the exit. Even though she knew better, she looked back. Julia was laughing and she’d put her hand on the woman’s arm. Taylor shook her head and left.
Julia would be fine. They’d already agreed Julia would do a check-in via text either way a couple of hours in. She should be happy for Julia not to have been stood up. She was, at least technically.
Taylor pulled out of the parking lot, but instead of turning toward home, she headed for the road that would take her up the east side of the lake. The days were almost at their longest, which meant more than an hour of light remained. She turned the radio up and put the windows down and let herself wallow in being the B-team.
By the time she got home at ten, Julia had texted an all clear and don’t wait up. As much as she wanted to be happy things had gone well, she couldn’t quite manage it. She’d be able to fake it in person all right, but she was by herself and it didn’t matter if she was sullen and full of regret.
Taylor let Waylon out and headed to her bedroom. Instead of stripping for bed, she changed into work clothes. She already knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep; she might as well do something productive with her time.
She headed to her workshop, whistling to let Waylon know where she was headed. She flipped on the lights, squinting at the brightness after the dark of outside. Waylon trotted in, seemingly unconcerned they were going to work at night instead of in the morning. Probably because he’d fall asleep either way.
She surveyed her options and decided power tools were not the best idea given her state of mind. She went over to her finishing area where the pieces for the dining room set waited for assembly and sanding. She grabbed a super fine sanding block and got to work.
The thing with building furniture was that doing it right meant it couldn’t be rushed. It was one of the things Taylor loved about it. Yes, she put in far more than forty hours a week and went out of her way to avoid calculating what she earned in an hour. But she never, or at least almost never, felt frantic. Even with the Adirondack chairs she loved to hate, her work felt almost like meditation. It calmed her mind no matter what kind of stress was kicking around.
Tonight was no different. She moved the sanding block over the wood, working with the grain. One, two, three strokes, then she trailed her fingers over the same area, testing for smoothness. By the time she’d finished all the pieces, it was well after one in the morning and her mind had stilled.
It was fine. Everything was going to be fine. It wasn’t like she was hopelessly in love with Julia. She’d gotten caught up in the moment, in how easy it was to spend time with her.
She whistled softly to wake her snoring, not a care in the world dog. “Come on, buddy, it’s time for bed.”
* * *
Julia woke with a start. It had taken her ages to fall asleep, and the sleep she’d managed hadn’t been great. How long had it been since she’d spent the night with someone new? Too long.
She reminded herself of this and gave herself a mental pat on the back for managing the first hookup of her life. Even if the woman next to her snored like a freight train and left her clutching the edge of the mattress. Even if the sex had been just a hair above passable. It was the spirit of it, right?
Was it bad form to sneak out before Bianca woke up? She hadn’t gone over the rules for morning after with Taylor. Not that Taylor would even know the rules, being so against one-night stands in the first place.
She shifted slightly, seeing if Bianca would stir. She did not. Julia weighed her options. Maybe she could slip out of bed and go to the bathroom. Surely that was allowed. And if Bianca still didn’t wake up, she could leave a nice note and be on her way.
It wasn’t like she didn’t have any fun. Bianca had been nice. Funny, too. And Julia didn’t find her unattractive. It just all felt like so much work. She could see why people stuck it out in mediocre relationships. Not that she’d been given that option.
