The Last Place You Look, page 18
Loretta shook her head, but with what appeared to be more affection than anything else. “Exactly why she’s so lucky. You’re a catch, Taylor. Don’t you forget it.”
Taylor couldn’t decide what amused her more—the general theme of this conversation or Loretta referring to her as a catch. Splitting hairs, probably. “Thank you, gorgeous. You know, if you weren’t forty years happily married, I might try and catch you.”
She let out a bark of laughter and smacked Taylor on the arm. “And if you weren’t half my age, I might let you.”
Taylor gave her a kiss on the cheek and said her good-byes. On the way home, she stopped at the florist and picked up a bouquet of gerbera daisies. Julia might be coming to her tonight, but there was no reason not to. Truth be told, she didn’t care who was catching who. All she knew was she couldn’t get enough of Julia, and she hoped more than anything the feeling was mutual.
* * *
Julia added her ninth senior portrait session to the planner that no longer felt like an indulgence. Bookings seemed to be coming out of the woodwork. And each booking had a delivery date for the touched up images. Plus her work schedule at the winery. Oh, and her dates with Taylor.
After adding the details to the seventh of August, she closed the book and ran a finger over its paisley cover. Despite loving the look and feel of them, she’d given up paper planners years ago. With Erica’s schedule being as crazy as it was, it had made more sense to have a shared electronic calendar. And it wasn’t like she had enough going on in her own life to warrant such a thing.
Ugh. One more example of living in Erica’s shadow and not even realizing it. She refused to let the realization sour her mood, especially when she had cause for celebration. And plans with her new friend.
Julia grabbed the plate of treats and headed over to Amanda’s. She pulled into the driveway and cut the engine. Why was she nervous? She was spending her evening drinking wine and eating junk food with a bunch of women. And Jack. No agenda, no expectations.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was nervous because she hadn’t had a girls’ night since high school. It was less about the company and more about feeling so out of practice with female friendship. Which was dumb. But telling herself it was dumb didn’t chase away the butterflies. She climbed out of the car and headed to the front door. Perhaps a glass of wine would help.
Amanda flung open the door before Julia had a chance to knock. “You’re here.”
She seemed almost surprised. Julia offered a shrug and a smile. “I said I would be.”
Amanda smacked her lightly on the arm. “I know, but I thought you might bail. You seemed unsure about the whole thing.”
“Only because I don’t know everyone. But if they’re friends of yours, they have to be all right.”
“That’s the spirit.” She grabbed the bottle of wine Julia held and eyed the platter. “What did you make?”
Julia followed Amanda into the house and toward the kitchen. “Slutty bars.”
“I have no idea what those are, but I like them already.”
She’d happened upon the recipe in one of those addictive cooking videos that littered her Instagram feed and had been looking for an excuse to make them—chocolate chip cookie dough layered with Oreos and cheesecake and topped with more Oreos and homemade caramel. “They’re all about pleasing everyone.”
Amanda laughed at the description, then led Julia into the living room where she introduced everyone and made Julia describe them again. It served as the perfect icebreaker—a decadent dessert with a suggestive name. If the women hadn’t been inclined to like her from the get-go, they were now.
There was Tanya, who worked with Amanda, and Minha, a veterinarian. Jack, of course, and Erin, a cop. Other than her professional life being on the underwhelming side, she felt like they were a chill group happy to have her join in. Amanda poured her a glass of wine, and she took a seat on a huge pillow next to the coffee table.
“There’s room on the sofa if you want,” Minha said.
“I’m good for now.” Julia grinned and gestured to the spread on the coffee table. “I’m happy to be closer to all this.”
That earned her a laugh, and any final traces of nerves vanished. Since everyone else already had a plate, she snagged one and filled it with a bit of everything. It was her favorite kind of food—cheese and dips and veggies and all sorts of crackers and snacky things. Conversation resumed, a discussion about whether a certain character from a certain show deserved a spin-off. That led into a general lament on the state of television and movies, including how few of them passed the Bechdel test.
She laughed, a lot. She wasn’t sure why she’d been worried. Her misadventures in dating provided plenty of comic relief. She saved Utica for last and, by the end, had everyone roaring.
“I don’t know how you do it. This makes me think being single maybe isn’t so bad.” Minha shook her head and looked legit horrified.
“I like to think of it as a learning experience. Like, things I should have learned in my twenties and never did.”
Amanda frowned. “I’m not sure what the lesson is, other than dating is worse than middle school and dying alone is underrated.”
Julia bit her lip and snickered. “When you put it that way.”
“But you and Taylor?” Amanda asked.
She’d told Amanda some. More than she’d shared with Caroline or anyone else. “It’s good. And not just because the bar is so low.”
Jack raised his hand. “For the record, what’s said here stays here.”
Crap. She’d not even thought about Jack’s connection to Chris and, by extension, Taylor. “Um, thanks.”
“I’m serious.” He nodded dramatically. “That said, I feel like I’m not breaking any confidences when I say Taylor has it pretty bad for you.”
There were tuts of approval. It was hard to know if the discomfort tingling through her had to do with being the center of attention or with the specific assertion about Taylor. Or, maybe more accurately, Taylor’s feelings. “You think or you know?”
“Ooh.” Erin grabbed a handful of M&Ms. “Good question.”
Jack crossed his arms like she’d insulted the quality of his scoop. “I didn’t tête-à-tête with her myself, but I don’t think Chris would be conjecturing about such a thing.”
It was Julia’s turn to nod. She didn’t know what to do with that information, but believed him.
Amanda leaned over and gave her shoulder a nudge. “How uncomfortable are you right now?”
Julia laughed. “On a scale of one to ten? I’m going to say around thirteen.”
That got her a round of chuckles and an almost instant shift in the conversation. She reached for the M&Ms and happily switched into listening mode. The party wound down a little after nine. Julia lingered as everyone else left, helping with dishes and packing away leftovers. After hugging Jack and sending him on his way, she returned to the kitchen and grabbed a towel to dry things.
Amanda looked over from wiping the counter. “You really don’t have to clean up.”
“I know. I like helping.”
“Is it that or is there something else on your mind?”
“What do you mean?”
“You seemed kind of distracted tonight, even before we started talking about Taylor.”
Julia’s shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry if I was bad company.”
“You weren’t. You were hilarious.” Amanda crossed the room and slung an arm around her shoulder. “I just seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to stuff like that. It’s both annoying and incredibly useful.”
She laughed at the description. “I can imagine.”
“So? I’m right or I’m losing my touch?”
She’d not planned to tell anyone about the contest. But Amanda was this weird combination of a good friend and no history. Unlike her family. And she didn’t have any stake in the outcome. Unlike Taylor. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Then you can tell me all about it. Do you want another glass of wine?”
It was after ten and she had plans of going to Taylor’s instead of home. “I’m okay. It really isn’t anything. I don’t know why I’m being weird about it.”
Amanda blinked at her, no judgment but not letting her off the hook, either.
“I entered some of my photographs in a competition.”
“That’s awesome. Why is it weird?” Her eyes got big and then she poked Julia’s shoulder. “You’re not doing that self-deprecating thing, are you? I’ll smack that out of you faster than you can say ‘I’m not good enough.’”
Julia laughed because she had no doubt Amanda meant it. “Maybe. But it’s more that the prize is a residency at this art program in New York City.”
“Oh.”
“So, as much as I would want to win, I also don’t. And I didn’t want to tell anyone because either outcome is gross.”
Amanda tipped her head back and forth. “I wouldn’t say gross.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do. You could also say either outcome would be a relief.”
“That’s true. Thanks.”
“Good. Now, can we discuss how kick-ass it is that you put yourself out there in the first place?”
Julia cringed. “Do we have to?”
Amanda shook her head. “Yes. It’s really kick-ass.”
“Thanks.”
“See? Was that so bad?”
Julia snickered. “I guess not.”
“I’m pretty smart. You should listen to me more often.”
She took a deep breath and nodded. “Promise. I’m really glad we’re friends.”
“Same. Cal’s staying at a friend’s. You want to stay over? The guest room’s not half bad.”
Julia lifted a shoulder. “I was kind of planning to go to Taylor’s.”
“Oh, sure. We have a moment and then you abandon me to get laid.”
“That’s obnoxious of me, isn’t it? I don’t have to.”
Amanda laughed. “I’m kidding. If you give up a chance to get laid to hang out with me, I might not forgive you.”
“I love you.” Julia bit her lip. She’d not meant to say that, but it was true. She hadn’t had a friend like Amanda in a long time.
“Ditto. Now go. I’m glad at least one of us is getting action.”
Julia gave Amanda a hug, grabbed her purse, and let herself out. She started the car and dashed off a text to Taylor. Taylor’s reply was instant. Door unlocked. Porch light on. I’ll be in bed waiting for you.
Julia shifted in her seat, her body responding to Taylor’s words as quickly as they’d appeared on the screen. Good thing Taylor’s house was only a few minutes away.
Chapter Twenty-one
Taylor couldn’t think of anything more satisfying than lying in bed with Julia sprawled across her chest. She ran her fingers through Julia’s gorgeous mane of hair. “You’re amazing. You know that, right?”
Julia lifted her head. Her grin managed to be cocky and kind of drowsy at the same time. “I do. Which I can own because I can say the same about you. Ah-may-zing.”
Taylor lifted her own head so she could plant a kiss on Julia’s mouth. Her lips were swollen from kissing, and it gave Taylor a jolt of satisfaction to know she’d been the one to do it. “And sexy. Maybe the sexiest creature I’ve ever known.”
Julia dropped her forehead to Taylor’s chest. “Stop.”
“I will not.” She gave Julia’s hair a gentle tug.
“Mmm.”
“You like that, huh?” Taylor asked, half joking.
Julia lifted her head again and looked into Taylor’s eyes. “I do.”
Despite the simplicity of the statement, the intensity in Julia’s face made Taylor’s stomach flip. Especially when combined with the casual bossing around comment Taylor had been unable to chase from her mind. “As in, you really like it?”
Julia closed her eyes and flopped onto her back. “You’re judging me, aren’t you?”
There were a lot of words Taylor could come up with in this moment. Judging was not one of them. “Not at all.”
Julia sat up suddenly, turning to face Taylor and crossing her legs. “You can say it. I know.”
“Say what?” That she found the direction of this conversation sexy as fuck?
She winced. “Nothing.”
Taylor sat up, too. “Come on. Talk to me.”
Julia lifted a shoulder but wouldn’t make eye contact. “It’s weird. I’m a sassy, independent woman, and I like having my hair pulled.”
The comment did way more than make her stomach flip. “It’s not weird.”
“Most people think so.” She huffed out a breath. “Erica thought so.”
Taylor put her index finger under Julia’s chin and gently tipped it up. “I’m not Erica.”
Another big sigh. “I know. You’re so much better for me than she ever was, which is saying something given how short a time we’ve been going out.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
“You’re also, by your own admission, super old-fashioned.”
Oh. They were going there. “Old-fashioned when it comes to relationships. Romance. Not everything.”
Julia looked at her with a mixture of suspicion and affection. “You don’t have to say that.”
“You think I’m vanilla, don’t you? Be honest.” Taylor shook her head, surprised by how disappointed the assumption left her.
“It’s not an insult. Vanilla is a great flavor. I love vanilla. Most of the women I sleep with are vanilla.”
Taylor ignored her visceral reaction to Julia’s use of the phrase “most of the women I sleep with.” “I’m not saying it’s good or bad, I’m only saying maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to jump to conclusions.”
That caught Julia’s attention. Her hands, which had been gesturing back and forth a moment before, stilled. She looked right into Taylor’s eyes, sending Taylor’s pulse skittering with a mixture of nerves and want. “Tell me.”
This wasn’t how she wanted this conversation to go. Not that she’d given it all that much thought. But when—hell, if—they went there, she wanted it to come from a place of mutual curiosity and desire. At this moment, she was on the defensive, wanting to prove herself, but also afraid she might scare Julia off.
“Well?” Julia had this impatience about her that was sexier than it had any right to be.
She took a deep breath. Tread carefully. “I like lots of flavors.”
Julia shot her a look of mild exasperation. “That doesn’t tell me much.”
She decided to stick with the ice cream metaphor, at least for the time being. “I like different textures, hard and soft. Ribbons of something unexpected.”
Julia nodded. “Okay. Variety is good. Are you telling me you like everything?”
Taylor shook her head. She had no idea how this was going to play out, but she’d never forgive herself if she didn’t take the chance. “Not everything. Mostly, I like to be the one choosing the flavor, deciding how it’s going to be served. Where I’m going to have it, whether I’m going to eat it fast or really slow down and savor.”
She watched understanding bloom in Julia’s eyes. Understanding followed by—God, please don’t let her be imagining it—arousal. “So, you like to be in control.”
“Yes.”
Julia’s eyes narrowed. “How in control?”
Taylor took her time answering, letting herself enjoy how this seemed to be playing out. “As in control as my partner wants me to be. I’m all about consent. Enthusiastic consent.”
Julia’s lips parted and she let out a shaky breath. It was one of the sexiest things Taylor had ever seen. “Does that include restraints?”
Were they really having this conversation? “If she wants them.”
“So, if I wanted them?”
“I can’t think of a thing that would give me more pleasure.”
Julia didn’t speak. She merely nodded. Hopefully, a sign her imagination was hard at work, not that she was having second thoughts.
“I’d want to talk it through first, understand what you like, what you want. There’s a lot of variation still, both in terms of what we do and how we do it.”
A slow smile spread across Julia’s face. “Can I say I want you to make all the decisions?”
The image of Julia, naked and bound to her headboard, danced through Taylor’s mind. “Once we’re there, yes. But I need to ask you some questions before.” Taylor tipped her head to the side. “And you’ll need a safe word.”
She could see Julia swallow. A flush rose in her cheeks and spread to the tops of her breasts. It was all Taylor could do not to grab her and tie her up right then and there. Julia licked her lips but didn’t speak. She merely nodded. Taylor smiled. Consent came in all different shapes and sizes. Julia, speechless, might be her new favorite.
* * *
Julia scowled at the stack of supplies Taylor had instructed her to buy from the hardware store. Half of them resembled torture devices, and not the sexy kind. The other half looked like things she’d use to frost a cake. “Are you sure we can’t just spend the afternoon having sex?”
Taylor gave her a stern look. “We literally had sex this morning. You’re insatiable.”
“I can’t help it if I’m insatiable when it comes to you.” She said it in a teasing tone, but she so wasn’t kidding. Taylor had flipped some sort of switch in her and it showed no signs of abating.
“I promise I’ll take good care of you later.” Taylor’s fingers encircled Julia’s wrists and squeezed.
The sensation, paired with knowing exactly how Taylor planned to take care of her, sent a jolt of desire through her. Like, next level desire. Taylor was going to tie her up. And Julia couldn’t wait. “If we started right now, think how much longer we’d have to play.”
“Julia.”
“Kidding. Mostly.” She pouted.
Taylor’s hands moved from her wrists to around her waist. “You’re adorable. Incorrigible, but adorable.”
