Accidentally in Love, page 23
Ethan, who apparently was awake, kissed her neck making her jump in surprise. “She came by last week and asked for a copy of the keys. I didn’t think you’d mind,” he replied in a sleepy voice.
Under normal conditions she would have found it incredibly sexy, but in that exact moment she had other priorities. For example, getting rid of her sister. Or even just stopping her from finding out what had happened.
“It’s pretty ironic that it’s you who decides who to give the keys to my house to…”
“She said she needed them for emergencies,” he explained. He sat up and ran a hand through his mussed-up honey blonde hair. “I thought you’d be ok with it.”
“And does this look like an emergency to you?” she wanted to know, as she gazed dreamily at his naked chest. She was a weak willed woman.
“Sara, are you there?” repeated Eva for the third time, shouting even louder. Her sister’s timing had always been terrible.
“I’ve got nothing on!” she shouted, hoping her sister wouldn’t decide to come barging into her room. Not that Eva had any particular problem with other people’s nakedness, but being the older sister still gave her a little leverage. “Wait a minute and I’ll be right there! Wait in the kitchen!”
“Where’s Ethan? I brought a muffin for him, too!” said Eva, oblivious to everything. Or at least, Sara hoped she was .
Her damn sister and this obsession of hers with constantly feeding her as though otherwise Sara would starve to death.
Sara jumped out of bed completely naked and raced over to the closet, where she grabbed her blue cotton dressing gown.
“Is it a color you particularly like?” asked Ethan as he leaned back in bed, revealing a large part of his torso.
Sara would never have imagined that she was one of those pathetic women who started drooling at the sight of a set of ripped abs. She’d liked to kid herself that she was ‘deeper’ than that, that she was more interested in men’s brains, in what was inside. But last night made her wonder if she hadn’t been overestimating herself a bit . Or maybe she’d lost her mind, seeing as a part of her seemed to be convinced that Ethan was a happy blend of both.
“Shhh, keep your voice down…” she hissed, glaring at him. “Let me just remind you that you’re supposed to be in the other room. So shut your mouth and try not to let her find out.”
Ethan didn’t seem at all bothered by the thought of getting caught red-handed. In fact, he seemed to be pretty happy about it, and until then happiness was a state of mind she hadn’t thought was part of his personality.
“Now you’ll be asking me to hide in the closet… ”
“If my closet was big enough you’d already be locked in there, believe me,” she whispered gravely.
“You never answered my question.”
“Yes, I really like pale blue. Is that a problem? At least it’s better than black…”
“Touché , my dear,” he replied, the blanket slipping even further down as he stretched. Soon there would be nothing to hide. It was obvious he was doing it on purpose.
“Are we done with the exhibitionism?”
He smiled. “I haven’t even started, to tell the truth.”
Sara raised her eyes to the ceiling in frustration and then opened the door and went into the kitchen with the aim of getting rid of Eva as quickly as possible. Meanwhile, her sister had kindly made a pot of coffee, pouring it into three cups on the table.
“What’s with that weird expression?” asked Eva, as soon as she saw her come in. Her sister turned off the coffee pot and sat on a stool.
“I have a sore throat, even though no one believes me,” said Sara, trying to avoid her sister’s curious stare with the excuse of getting the milk carton from the fridge.
“I didn’t say you looked sick, I said you looked weird . How long has it been since you last got laid?” Eva asked bluntly .
Sara, who had just raised her cup to her mouth and taken a first sip of coffee, started coughing violently. “Eva!!!” she cried indignantly as soon as she could breathe again. “What the hell are you asking me that for? And what kind of language is that?”
“If I wasn’t certain that it wasn’t the case, that’s what I’d think was going on. You have this weird light in your eyes…”
“Because I’m not very well! Give me a break with the third degree, jeez! I don’t turn up at your house and start questioning you about when you last slept with someone!”
“Well, you could if you wanted,” Eva replied casually. “You are my sister, after all.”
“You are my little sister, and there are some aspects of your life I really don’t want to know about. In fact, they creep me out.” As far as she was concerned, the sexual life of close relatives was taboo and ought to stay that way.
Eva stared at her, an expression of concentration on her face. “Well, if you did ask, you might discover some surprising truths…” she revealed cryptically.
“Look, your sex life is your business and mine is my business. I’m old-fashioned like that, okay?”
At that exact moment Ethan came into the kitchen, stretched, said hello and took a cup of coffee from the table .
“You do realize you’re only wearing a pair of boxers, right?” asked Sara, sounding annoyed.
He sat at the table and gave her a relaxed smile. If possible, his irritatingly happy expression had become even more pronounced. “Nice morning, don’t you think?” he said with a wink.
Eva’s eyes almost popped out of her head. “Oh my God !” she screeched. “I can’t believe it!” For someone who was always saying how bad she was at maths, Eva had proven herself pretty talented at putting two and two together.
Sara gave her a glare. “So don’t believe it, them! You brought us breakfast? Great, we’re very grateful. And now, hit the road, and the next time you decide to turn up in the morning, maybe try calling first?”
“Is this even legal? I mean, it’s a bit… incestuous , right? Ha!” she cackled. “My goodie-two-shoes big sister doing something illegal!”
Sara grabbed Eva by the hand and dragged her towards the door. “If you tell anyone , even the cat , you’re a dead woman, okay?” And she unceremoniously pushed her out onto the landing, slamming the door shut.
“But we don’t have a cat!” shouted Eva from the other side, before walking down the stairs.
“I know!” an exasperated Sara shouted back before returning to the kitchen, where a conversation she wished she could have avoided was waiting for her.
“Why did you do it?” she asked Ethan brusquely when she got there.
He had taken one of her sister’s muffins and was chewing it particularly slowly. It was obvious he was in no rush to answer.
“Because I didn’t have anything to hide,” he replied after swallowing. He raised his eyes and gave her a defiant look.
“Neither did I…” she said defensively in reply to his implicit accusation.
“Strange, that’s not what it looked like. You are the same woman who asked me to hide in her closet a few minutes ago, right?”
“Oh come on …” she muttered, blushing guiltily.
“I don’t see what the problem is.” There was a challenging tone in his voice.
“Ethan, don’t be stupid. Unless…” she said, and froze before she had time to think through the dangerous idea which had just popped into her mind.
“Unless what?” he asked, lowering his voice.
“Unless you did it on purpose.” She looked into his eyes for a long moment, in search of some sign from him.
Ethan’s expression became cold. “What you’re insinuating right now isn’t very flattering... ”
The fact that he didn’t deny it was proof enough for Sara. “God, what a moron I am! I fell right into your trap!” she said bitterly, with a cynical laugh. “Of course , how could I not have thought of it before? You. Stupid. Dummy !” she said, hitting herself on the forehead with each word for emphasis.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Ethan asked her angrily.
“You know very well what I’m talking about! This was all your cunning plan to force me to resign as your guardian! Well, congratulations! Your plan has worked!”
“I didn’t have a plan…” he said, trying to defend himself.
“Ah, no? And can you honestly say you didn’t move into my house with the intent of driving me crazy and making me give up this job?”
Ethan looked at her uneasily. “No, I can’t deny that because it’s true and I’ve never denied it. A few weeks ago I wanted you to put the matter back into Richter’s hands. But that was before ! What’s happened between us has changed all that!”
Sara was struggling not to succumb to her disappointment. As much as it would have cost her to admit it, the pain was very strong. “Of course it’s changed it! Now it’s no longer a matter of me wanting or not wanting to be your guardian. After this, I have no choice but to resign from the job. ”
“Why, who’s ever going to know?”
“I would know!” she answered vehemently. “And whether you believe it or not, I have personal and professional ethics that prevent me from sleeping with the person whose interests I’m supposed to be looking after!”
“Whose financial interests,” he underlined. “Financial interests. In spite of what your sister said, there’s nothing incestuous about what’s happened between us. Nothing at all!”
“Ethan…” she said warningly.
“Ethan hell! There isn’t a single reason in the whole wide world for you to give up the job,” he insisted, moving closer to her. His body always put Sara to the test, and she blushed in spite of herself.
“I can’t be objective in my decisions if I feel something for you,” she admitted before realising the implications of her words.
He stopped and raised an eyebrow. “Something? What, to be precise?”
“I can’t believe I said something like that… If you recorded this conversation you could get my license to practice law taken off me” she muttered.
“Yes, well, it wouldn’t be easy for me to have a hidden recorder, dressed like this. Unless you want to check inside my boxers,” he said with a smirk.
Despite herself, Sara smiled. “I already know what’s in your boxers. ”
“Exactly. Just sit down a moment,” he said after calming her down. He pointed to the kitchen chair, sitting down opposite her. “Look, I do understand why you’re acting nuts this morning….”
“I’m not acting nuts!”
Ethan looked at her without conviction. “As I was saying, I understand why you are so anxious , and I realize that I might not have been the most trustworthy person in the past…”
“Ethan, I wouldn’t even try to use the word ‘trustworthy’ for you.”
“I know, but we’re in a very different place now. Things have changed.”
“Only because I found ways to stop you blowing all your money,” she reminded him.
“That’s true. But then we went beyond just keeping tabs on expenses. We got closer, we got to know each other, we like each other. It does happen occasionally, you know…” he said with a hint of irony.
“It doesn’t happen to me very often,” Sara admitted, folding her arms.
“Well, it happens to me even less,” he replied stoically. “I never like anyone.”
“Look, I don’t know where you’re going with this. ”
Ethan laughed at her discomfort. “What I’m trying to tell you is that I can’t see a single valid reason why you should stop being my guardian.”
Sara gave him a glare. “Oh, you can’t? You don’t find anything weird about it?”
“No, because for once I really want you to be here and to stay here. We’ve had a pretty good time these last few days, right?”
“Ethan, this is a bubble, it’s not reality! At the moment you can’t spend all your money and you can’t hang out with your usual acquaintances. This isn’t your life, it’s just a short parenthesis while you wait for your house to be redecorated.”
“Exactly – I’m redecorating, so what’s to stop me from just changing everything once it’s all done? And I’m not just talking about the decor…”
“I understand that, but you can’t delude yourself that this little flame that’s sprung up between is going to make you a different person.”
He gave her an amused look, as though she were a comedian instead of a lawyer. “Little? ” he asked, reaching out across the table to squeeze her palm. The heat was strong and immediate.
“Little or big, you can’t change for me,” she said honestly. “You have to do it for yourself.”
Ethan immediately grew gloomy and squeezed her hand even harder. “We’ve already discussed that idea a bit, and I’m sorry to have to tell you that I haven’t changed my mind: among the things I believe, the opinion I have of myself is pretty low, while you, on the other hand, have the advantage of being very high in my esteem. Whether you like it or not, you have power over me. It’s all about you deciding if you want to use it properly.”
“You have to start with yourself…” Sara tried again.
“But only if you’re the destination,” he insisted.
“God , Ethan…” she said, “when you put your mind to it, you’re the most obstinate man in the world.”
“Look, I have a proposal,” he said suddenly.
“What?”
“Let’s take some time to decide. Let’s enjoy this weekend without getting too heavy, and then on Monday we’ll think about the guardian thing.”
“This afternoon there’s that famous tango lesson…” Sara reminded him. Not that she really wanted to dance, but doing the tango with Ethan might be fun.
“Shit, right – the tango,” he muttered. It was obvious he wasn’t jumping for joy.
“Yes, but the tango is sensual...”
Ethan’s expression immediately grew more interested. “Oh yeah? So what about warming up a bit? You know, I’m worried I might be a bit rusty.” He got up from his chair without ever letting go of Sara’s hand, helped her to her feet and took her in his arms with surprising ease.
“I’m going to hell in a handcart thanks to you…” she whispered, completely unable to stop at that moment.
“Ah, now that I’d like to see: a hell just for lawyers!” he teased. “What would be the punishment? Not being allowed to talk?”
“Funny, very funny…”
“I know, one of my innumerable good qualities,” he replied, suddenly growing serious. “You know that I actually do have a few, right?”
“Luckily for you, I’m a woman who only cares about appearances,” she reassured him, staring into his handsome face, his jaw dark with stubble. As he walked towards the bedroom, Sara caressed his cheek with her hand, amazed by how something so prickly could be so enjoyable.
“Yeah, right – I bet you were a damn mole in some past life…” Ethan laid her on the bed.
“Is that your charming way of telling me you think I’m deep?”
Instead of answering, he kissed her. “It’s my way of telling you that you talk too much at times when you could be using your mouth for something more worthwhile.”
Sara opened her eyes wide, but he kissed her again without giving her time to object.
*
If Rita the dance teacher was surprised to see them again, she had the good sense to keep it to herself. The tango was certainly not a pastime Sara found enjoyable, but at least it distracted her from the mad desire to drag Ethan off into her room and lock the door behind them. Forever.
She doubted she was acting in Ethan’s interest by allowing the attraction between them to blossom. Even because she wasn’t at all certain that it was just a physical thing. She cared about Ethan – in fact, she’d started caring about him almost immediately. And as much as she tried to tell herself that it was just the normal caring about another human being who was struggling, a part of her mind kept suggesting that it was a lot more complex than that: she was enchanted by Ethan, she was attracted to his mind, she was in tune with his soul. In a nutshell, she was in big trouble.
When Ethan followed the teacher’s instructions and moved closer to her, holding her tight, Sara could not help but wonder if she wasn’t actually in love. As soon as he touched her, her heart started beating madly. She began sweating like crazy and even her voice changed. And all because he was holding her hand …
The whole thing was pretty ironic: Sara had spent years dreaming about meeting the right man and imagining all the incredible qualities he would possessed, but love happened regardless of everything, including qualities and defects.
But in her case, was it really love?
The fact that Ethan’s welfare came above everything else – even above her own feelings and desires – convinced her that, yes, it was love. And given their situation, she would have to brace herself for a very serious talk, when they got home. It was necessary to put aside one’s own desires for the good of the other person, even though she would have liked nothing more than to just let it happen.
But it wasn’t time for that yet. And maybe it wouldn’t be for quite a while.
After what felt like a thousand attempts, they managed to get two steps right, and Ethan raised his beautiful head, until a moment before focused on their confused legs, to give her one of the most sincere smiles she had ever seen. The feeling was incredibly powerful.
She couldn’t help but smile back at him. It was as if they were no longer in a room full of people, as though they had suddenly become deaf to the background noise.
Ethan embraced her and put his lips to her ear. “I know this isn’t exactly the ideal time to tell you, but for once in my life I want to be brave and call things by their proper name: Sara, this isn’t just some passing thing for me, some flight of fancy,” he whispered. “I’m in love with you.”
It was one thing to suspect it and quite another to hear it said it out loud. Sara raised her eyes and blinked in surprise. He didn’t seem to regret what he had just said. In fact, he looked relieved, as though saying it was a weight off his mind.
