Accidentally in Love, page 21
Having spent so many years fantasizing about her date – the one it had actually turned out to be pretty forgettable – she’d tried to go through with it. That was why, when Tony had begun kissing her, she’d let him. She’d needed to really find out if she’d actually thrown away ten years of her life daydreaming about something that didn’t exist.
Sexual attraction was a mysterious beast, but to judge from that kiss, it was clear there wasn’t any between her and Tony. It was a kiss that had left her in such a bad mood that when she’d got home, she’d wanted to prove to herself that all was not lost. Maybe it had just been a bad day, maybe she was just so tired and achey she wouldn’t have felt anything with anyone . Which was why she’d come up with the ridiculous idea of kissing Ethan.
Not only had it been a serious professional lapse on her part, since she was still his guardian, but now she also had to live with the annoying awareness that if it had been down to her, she would never have broken off that kiss of her own free will.
No way.
In thirty-two years, no one had made her feel like that. It was depressing to get to her age and find out that those dumb romantic novels weren’t actually talking total crap after all.
And that was why it was really a pity that Ethan Phelps was completely out of the question. A big ‘x’ was drawn in that box, indicating she had to forget him .
She ought to be grateful to Ethan for having made it clear that up until then she’d done everything in her life wrong. And now, she needed to start looking for something different from the tranquillity she’d always aspired to, because men who made you forget your head really did exist.
Oh yeah, that kiss had proved they were more than some urban legend.
“Exactly like Tony,” she said in a husky voice, knowing full well she was lying and that he was perfectly aware of it too.
Suddenly that damn couch had become way too small. “Hey, I’m really tired and tomorrow is your first day of work… So, what do you say we go to bed?” she asked, growing more and more red in the face.
Ethan raised a curious eyebrow. “You want to… go to bed ?” he said, making no attempt to hide his amusement.
“Yeah. I mean, each of us to our own bed, obviously!” She had to dispel the image his insinuation had provoked before it became even more absurd. It was difficult to do, but still not entirely impossible.
“Take it easy, I wasn’t planning on jumping into your bed,” he replied, misinterpreting her panic.
“Cool! Great… okay, goodnight!” Sara vanished from the living room like greased lightning. She ran into the bathroom, brushed her teeth so vigorously that her gums began to bleed and then removed her make-up by rubbing her skin so violently you’d have thought she was trying to remove that as well. She just hoped she hadn’t done any permanent damage.
Then she went to her bedroom and locked the door. She wasn’t worried about Ethan trying to get in. Oh no. It was what she might do that worried her.
Chapter 12
Sara stared at the ceiling of her office while she granted herself a well deserved break from the document she was studying and told herself that, all things considered, it had gone pretty well. In fact, it had gone great. It had been four days since what she was insisting on considering a mere ‘incident’, the type of thing that could happen to anyone, and her relationship with Ethan seemed to have gone back to normal. If it had ever actually been normal, of course. In any case, they were both being careful to keep their distance and even more careful never, not even by accident, to say the word ‘kiss’. Everything else seemed to be going smoothly – so smoothly Sara was afraid she might end up slipping on it. And when you slip, you usually end up with a bruised butt. But then, purple always had suited her.
Ethan had started working in the Phelps & Phelps’ marketing website office, turning up on time every morning as per their arrangement. The change in him was amazing. She had supposed she would have had to get involved, threaten him, and who knew what else, but she hadn’t had to do anything. In fact, they’d even reached the point where it was him telling her to hurry up in the morning .
It was grotesque. Freaky. Right at a time when she needed her certainties more than ever, the least reliable human being on the planet had suddenly decided to start taking something seriously.
James Phelps had phoned her the day before to congratulate her on the work she had done over those two months, and tried to find out how she had convinced Ethan to put on a jacket and tie and come to the office.
She didn’t have the faintest idea.
As far as she was aware, she hadn’t actually done anything . She had even tried to question Ethan himself about it one night while he was sitting at the kitchen table eating take away sushi. And just for the record, Sara hated sushi. After almost two weeks of being housemates, one thing at least was clear: they had totally different tastes in food. They were complete opposites. But given that he had changed his habits to meet her demands, giving him some leeway on the menu seemed a fair form of compensation.
“I don’t get you at all – are you complaining that I’m doing exactly what you told me to?” he had asked her sarcastically. It was obvious he was enjoying confusing her. After all, it was probably just a change of strategy: when he realized he was getting too predictable, Ethan always changed his behavior to mess with people’s expectations of him .
“No, I’m not complaining at all, I just don’t understand why.”
But Ethan had just shrugged. “I don’t know myself, if you want the truth. I guess I don’t have anything to do during the day, and I’m bored. Having some commitments isn’t so bad. I mean, I suppose I can’t spend the rest of my life doing nothing except waiting for you to come home from work…” he said, sounding strangely logical. His words, which had been pronounced with the utmost seriousness, had created a strange ache in Sara’s stomach, as she sat observing him carefully.
“No, of course not. But remember that you’re going to be leaving here and going home soon,” she reminded him. It was good for them both to bear that in mind.
He had said nothing and had just stuck a large piece of salmon in his mouth.
Sara had felt so guilty she had actually agreed to watch Rambo with him. Perhaps things had been better before there was Netflix, she thought. As far as she was concerned, Japanese food and action movies were way up on her list of stuff she didn’t like, and under normal conditions she would have jumped out of the window rather than watch a film where a sweaty muscleman shot everybody in sight – though living on the first floor meant the worst she’d have risked was a broken ankle .
She had curled up on the same couch where the thing had happened and, desperately trying to ignore the presence of the man sitting a couple of feet away from her, she had tried to concentrate on the movie.
To call it crap would have been an understatement. “What an unbelievable piece of trash,” she had murmured with a shiver of disgust. “You men are not normal…”
Ethan didn’t look offended. “Says the woman whose favourite types of movies are splatter and ones where you cry all the way through,” he had retorted. “I swear, I don’t see how the hell those two categories have anything in common.”
“That’s what’s so great about it – they don’t. One of them is for the part of me that’s romantic, and the other’s for my cruel side!”
“You’re all cruel side,” he’d muttered. And if she was being honest with herself, most days Sara would have agreed with him. But the last few days hadn’t been ‘most days’.
“You think so? Well, I’ve always suspected I might be…” she said, and they both cracked up laughing. At least kidding about allowed her to avoid thinking about the weird mutual attraction that seemed to have sprung up between them. It was as though there was now a third person sitting on that horrible sofa – a presence they would have loved to ignore, but which kept pinching her .
And that was how Rebecca found her as she walked past her office – staring at the ceiling with a blank expression on her face.
“Jeez, girl, what the hell happened to you ?” she asked, stopping for a moment in the doorway, despite the huge file she was carrying that looked like it must weigh several tons.
“To me? Oh, nothing at all,” she answered – too quickly, which set her friend’s antennae going. “I mean, apart from having a sore throat…” she ad-libbed.
“It’s this weather: outside it’s starting to get boiling hot and so they’ve got the air conditioning set to ‘January in Siberia’ in here…” Rebecca explained. “But that’s not what I meant: you’ve got a weird look on your face. You look worried.”
“You couldn’t be more wrong, I’m on top of the world: I’ve got a case in hand that I can’t lose, and my ward has decided to go to work every morning. What more could I want?” she said, trying to look like she believed it.
“What? Ethan’s actually going through with it?” asked Rebecca with interest.
“So far! It’s only been four days… but I’m hoping he’ll stick it out,” replied Sara pensively. “Why, you think he’ll give up in the end?”
“I’d say it’s pretty likely. Why, don’t you? ”
“I don’t think anything…” Sara answered, but her expression betrayed her.
“Oh no! Don’t tell me you’re trying to ‘fix’ him!” said Rebecca with an accusing look.
“Hey, he’s not broken!” Sara mumbled. “I’m not trying to ‘fix’ anything…”
“Bullshit! He’s broken all right, and you’re out of your mind if you think he can change. Or that you can change him,” her friend said, as blunt as ever.
“Come on, Becca…” Sara pleaded wearily, “cut me some slack. It’s all so complicated.”
“Of course it is! You let him move into your house ! No normal person would have done that! You’re living with your ward – Richter’d have a heart attack if she knew.”
On that point at least, Sara could defend herself without feeling guilty. “Hey, she’s known right from the beginning and she calls me every day to beg me not to give up on him. Apparently, she’s convinced I have a positive influence on Ethan. God alone knows why…”
“You on him,” said Rebecca. “Ethan on you? Not so much…”
“Who the hell are you, the devil’s advocate?” laughed Sara.
“Atrocious film, but it’s got Keanu Reeves in it, so hey,” her friend replied .
“And on the subject of films, it’s my turn to choose tonight,” Sara said aloud.
Rebecca stared at her with profound disgust. “Do you two spend the evenings together watching old films?” Her eyes were practically popping out of their sockets in astonishment.
“Every now and then…” answered Sara defensively. “Come on, help me out – what chick flick can I inflict on him tonight?”
“Does it have to be the type that makes you want to slit your wrists?” asked Rebecca sarcastically.
“Yes, but I want a classic type of thing that makes you want to slit your wrists. I want the type of film that will drive a man nuts.”
“Easy: Men hate women who are always talking, ergo, When Harry Met Sally .”
“Huh?” asked Sara, astonished by the speed of Rebecca’s reasoning.
“She never closes her mouth for the whole two hours. Sally’s your classic high maintenance broad who doesn’t want to admit to herself she is that…” Rebecca added with a sad laugh. Perhaps because she knew she wasn’t a million miles from Sally herself.
“Hey, we’re all like that,” Sara tried to reassure her friend.
“Of course we are, but we try and hide it. The female sex is divided into those who manage to hide it convincingly and those that don’t. And unfortunately, I am part of the second category. Careful, though – if they find out the truth, you’ll never end up getting married!”
Sara laughed. “And in fact no one gets married anymore…” she pointed out.
Rebecca blew her a kiss and set off at a march along the corridor with the heavy file in her arms. Each of them knew that their friend was totally right.
*
Ethan raised his worried eyes and looked at Sara. “That stuff will kill you before you get to fifty, you know,” he warned her as she lifted a handful of delicious potato chips to her mouth.
She stuffed them in, ignoring his words. “That’s pretty rich, coming from you,” she said as she crunched them.
“Why? Because of my teensy little alcohol problem?”
“Teensy ?” replied Sara, and burst into a very unfeminine laugh.
“Has anybody ever told you that you laugh like a pig?” he said resentfully.
She stuffed in another handful of potato chips. “All the time…”
“And then you’re surprised that you’re still single. ”
She shrugged. “I’m not surprised at all. Now shut up and concentrate on the movie.” And with a greasy finger she pointed at Meg Ryan on the screen.
“This is really low, even for you…”
She chuckled again. “Ha, I know!” she admitted. “But I did it for your own good. You look like one of those guys who always falls for the blonde.”
Ethan turned to look at her. “What makes you think that?”
Yet another handful of potato chips disappeared into her mouth. “You just look like you would…” she answered vaguely without ever taking her eyes off the screen. At least someone was enjoying the film.
“Do I really look like the type of guy who prefers blondes?” he asked in surprise.
The truth was that he actually had always used to prefer blondes. Until over the last few weeks, when he had discovered his tastes were changing. He seemed to be developing a confusing obsession with brunettes. And with one brunette in particular.
Completely oblivious to his thoughts, Sara pushed her lovely hair behind her ear with a fluid movement. It seemed the torture was never going to end.
“For your information, there isn’t one kind of woman I prefer,” he tried to argue, but she didn’t fall for it for a second .
“Oh, yes there is. Men like you are always attracted by the same female stereotype, and so it follows automatically that you like blondes,” she said without any doubt. “And Sally is perfect.”
“Sally hasn’t stopped talking for nearly an hour, fake orgasm included,” he sighed, sounding bored. “That jerk should have kissed her at the beginning of the film and saved us this torture.”
“Again with this idea of shutting someone up by kissing them? If you men aren’t able to handle a bit of conversation, you should just throw in the towel.”
“And you are part of that category of women who talk too much,” he commented, after observing her carefully. For some strange reason he found that watching Sara was much more interesting than watching Meg Ryan, and he only hoped that it was something to do with Meg Ryan’s recent plastic surgery.
“Me, talk too much?” she laughed. “When?”
It was strange to be sparring with a woman who was able to laugh about herself. It was a quality he had seriously underestimated in the past. Sara had shown him another way of looking at himself and at others. Only people who knew they were actually worth something could afford the luxury of laughing at their own faults.
But he, who was afraid there might be nothing to him but faults, would need to work for a long time before he could get to the point of laughing at himself…
“You’d also need somebody who knew how to take your breath away with non-stop kisses,” he said without thinking, and immediately realized his error. It was too late, because his words were already echoing around the room.
His gaze instinctively fell on those lips he had been trying to forget since Monday night. Undoubtedly, talking about kisses didn’t help. Especially if he was tempted to volunteer his services. And that would be very unwise – but then, he seemed to be becoming a connoisseur of unwise ideas lately.
Even Sara must think that he had gone nuts, because for the first time since the film had started she put her hand down next to the bowl and stopped eating potato chips. And it wasn’t easy to make her stop.
“What?” she wanted to know, staring at him in disbelief.
Ethan had dared name the thing they had both been avoiding for days. She spent practically all her time trying not to think about that kiss, which made no sense at all because it meant she ended up thinking about it all the time anyway.
“You heard me perfectly well – I said that word,” he said challengingly, crossing his arms over his chest and becoming strangely belligerent. “And I’ll even say it again: kiss!”
She blinked her black eyelashes in shock and raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you feeling OK?” she murmured, trying to throw water on the fire. She was a smart woman. Too bad he wasn’t quite as rational at that precise moment.
“Never been better…” he said, approached her and with great determination took her left hand, the one that wasn’t holding the bowl. “Enough with the damn potato chips,” he ordered.
Realising the bowl was actually her only defense, she clutched it as tightly as if it were a shield. “Forget about it,” she replied, lifting her chin pugnaciously.
Ethan grabbed the bowl and tried to take it away from her, but Sara didn’t give up. Tenacious little beast… “This is absolutely stupid,” he said angrily. “Let go of the damn bowl!”
“In your dreams, buster!” she answered, sounding just as angry. “Don’t you realize how dumb what you’re trying to do is?”
“I just want to kiss you!” said Ethan in a confident voice. At that moment, he wanted to kiss her even more than he wanted a drink.
Taking advantage of her shock at his declaration, he pulled once more, harder than before, and took possession of the bowl, then set it on a corner of the table far away from both of them and turned to focus on Sara, who was staring at him with open hostility.
