Threadbare - Complete Trilogy, page 58
+5 Armor
+5 Endurance
+5 Mental Fortitude
You are now a level 4 Duelist!
+3 AGI
+3 DEX
+3 STR
You are now a level 5 Duelist!
+3 AGI
+3 DEX
+3 STR
You have unlocked the Parry skill!
Your Parry skill is now level 1!
You have unlocked the Swashbuckler’s Spirit skill!
You have unlocked the Swinger skill!
Your Swinger skill is now level 1!
You are now a level 8 Golemist!
+5 INT
+5 WILL
You are now a level 7 Ruler!
+3 CHA
+3 WIS
+3 LUCK
Threadbare stared, sitting down hard. “My goodness. Wait, swinger? Is swinging good?”
The women around the fishman’s corpse cried harder, for some reason. “This is neither the time nor the place, okay?” Marva said.
“Er, right. Status. Help… Ah, that’s what it does. Ropes and chains and things. Okay.” He frowned. “Chandeliers? I’m not sure what those are.”
“Big piles of pointy wood that stupid vampaiahs hang over their heads in theah castles,” Madeline said, strolling over. “The smaht ones use metal.”
“Oh. Well I can swing from them really easily now,” Said Threadbare. “I suppose that might be useful.”
“Zuula relieved that you got dat particular usage of de word.” She said, heading over to the group. “What you do here?”
“I tried to get him to surrender.”
“He know de score. Cult angry. Dey just kill him anyway. Why you kill fishman, dough?”
“Well, he attacked us,” Garon said. “If he’d surrendered I would have let him back down, but then, well, he got Pulsivar’d.”
Pulsivar burped. His breath smelled fishy, but he still cast envious looks at the fishman’s corpse. The guy had been delicious, and the bobcat wanted him some more of that.
“I have a question,” Missus Fluffbear said.
“Sure. What’s-“ Threadbare froze. “Hold on. A spirit wants to talk. Speak with Dead.”
The world shifted. The former cultists went silent, and shifted uneasily, looking at the somewhat even creepier cave, and Daav cleared his throat. “We’ll uh, we’ll just take the bodies up, and uh… be off, shall we? Yes, why don’t we.” They beat feet upstairs, bearing Hatecraft and the fishman with them.
“Hello?” Threadbare asked.
“Yo,” a strange voice said from the direction of the underground lake. It was deep and smooth, and like all of the dead, it spoke to their minds and not their ears. “What’s up? Why’d you murder me, little dudes?”
“You’re not Hatecraft.” Threadbare frowned.
“Who? Oh, the weird little mean guy? Naw, son, naw.”
“That leaves one person. Are you the fishman?”
“I guess so. Yeah, that’s a good word for me.”
“Why did you fight us?” Garon asked.
“Buncha freaky ass little monsters and a motherfucking miniature dragon come outta nowhere? Fff, like you wouldn’t.”
“Ya got a point theah,” Madeline said.
“Why did you help the evil cultist hurt all these people?” Fluffbear said.
“Was that what he was doing? Didn’t look like it to me,” The fishman said, poking his head up from the water where he’d been resting his ectoplasm. “It was hard to tell with that guy. He was intense. And I never learned the language, so I didn’t really know what his deal was.”
“Why don’t you tell us what you do here?” Zuula asked. “You don’t look eldritch to Zuula, but dere cult involved so she want full facts before we err on de side of smacking old ones.”
“Old ones? Nah, just one. My man YGlnargle’blah. We be chilling with him under the sea. Used to rule around here, y’know? But the ocean over this place started shrinking, so when he said come with me if you want to live, we went.”
“Ocean? There’s never been an ocean around here,” Garon said.
But Zuula was shaking her head. “Dere was. Long ago. Way long ago.”
“Yeah, it’s been a while. So he called his children home, and we’ve been chilling in his airless realm of cool darkness ever since. But me, my family got on my case, wanted me to grow up and learn a trade. I tried to tell them music IS a trade and the band would take off any day now, but shit, man, they didn’t listen. So I went exploring, trying to find some good seaweed I could harvest, or maybe some new kind of fish I could sell, and I found kind of a door. It dumped me out in this weird-ass place. It was rough for a while, and I got pretty sick. Crawled into this cave, thought I was gonna die. That’s when weirdo found me.”
“Called his children home…” Garon slapped his face with one paw. “He won’t call the cultists home at all. YOU’RE his children, not the human cultists.”
“Yeah. Wouldn’t be a good place for humans, where I come from. It’d be kind of drowny.”
“So why you making fish babies?” Zuula asked. “You horny or something?”
“Gh. Yuk. Don’t remind me.” The fishman sighed. “That little weird dude insisted I get it on with half this freaking village. Those smooth bodies, and-ulp- hair everywhere… Blrp… mf. Man, I guess I’m glad ghosts can’t vomit but I kind of want to, y’know? At least he started letting me have a bag I could put over their heads. I think he convinced them it was part of a ritual or something. And he kept summoning tentacles and things while I was trying to get it over with. Some messed up stuff, I tell you.”
“I don’t understand,” said Missus Fluffbear. “Not any of that.”
“We’ll tell you later!” The doll haunters chorused.
Fluffbear pouted. “Well, okay. I had a question anyway-“
“Whoa. I’m dissolving. Is this good?” The fishman interrupted.
“You going to you afterlife.” Said Zuula. “Is normal dead stuff.”
“But my afterlife ain’t here!” The fishman’s voice rose. “How will YGlnargle’blah find me!”
Zuula considered. “Soulstone him, Dreadbear.”
“What? Oh. Good idea. Soulstone.”
“What’s that?” The fishman spirit walked out of the water, and stared. “Dude, it’s like an angler trap, only a lot more interesting…” He reached out to touch it… and flowed into the stone.
“Weird,” The soulstone pulsed blue. “It’s tight in here, but comfy.”
“We can put you into a new body, if you like,” Said Threadbare, politely. “Or we can take you to YGlnargle’blah’s circle. He seems to be acting up lately.”
“Oh, that ring of stones thing? I’ve been looking for that! It’s not in the lake anywhere, and it’s supposed to be underwater, that’s what the old writings say.”
“Old writings from when ocean be here?” Zuula asked.
“Yeah.”
“See, dis why you not trust books. Ocean be long gone, remember?”
“Oh. Right.”
“Do you know why YGlnargle’blah is awake?” Madeline asked.
“He’s awake? Aw shoot. I was worried he’d notice me leaving. He’s like… think of a really protective grandfather. He used to walk the world and get it on with hot scaly chicks back in the day, most of us are descended from him. Then that Konol guy, the new god, did his thing and YGlnargle’blah had to go to the aether. So I think maybe YGlnargle’blah finally came looking for me. Man, I’m in so much trouble.”
“No so much,” Zuula said. “You dead now. But wait, more blood of yours is around.”
“The little nippers? Yeah, they’re cuties. Even if some of them have… urg… hair.”
“What will he do if he comes through the dolmen circle?” Garon asked.
“Who, YGlnargle’blah? He can’t. Not until the walls are way thinner and Konol’s all the way dead. But I guess he can stand on the edge and yell until I come back.”
“Okay, dat not add up,” Zuula said. “Zuula definitely had visions that humans be wiped out in a couple days, here. Mediocre old one standing on t’reshold and being cranky not do dat.”
“If not the old one, then perhaps something else?” Threadbare asked. “What could kill everyone here in a day?”
They thought.
Thanks to Threadbare’s noblesse oblige boosting their int, they didn’t have to think too hard.
“This village, which recently rebelled against the Crown? And killed every garrison member who didn’t run? And revealed their forbidden religious beliefs for all to see?” Garon said, flapping his wings. “Oh lordy, the army’s on its way.”
“I still have a question,” Fluffbear squeaked.
“What?” Threadbare turned to her, and everyone else glanced over.
“What’s a paladin?”
*****
A little later, the group came upstairs to the church. Smoke filled the air, and through the open doors they could see a burning pile of robes and fezzes. The fish children sat glumly around it, watching their tea party stuff burn. The now-regularly-clothed ex-cultists were standing around in small groups, talking. All save Marva, who was sitting on a stone bench, with two of the little fish children curled up next to her, sleeping. Threadbare could tell they were asleep by the way their eyes didn’t glow.
“Hello sir,” Marva cleared her throat as Threadbare walked out, cleaned from the fight. Immediately all eyes shifted to him. He coughed into one paw, nervously, as his “Work It Baby” skill shot up to its maximum level.
“Ah, hello. I apologize for fooling you with the dummy.”
“No, no, it’s all right. We talked it over, and we’re just glad you showed us the truth. That man-“ Marva snarled the word, “-tricked us all.”
“Oh. Well, yes. Um… there’s no easy way to say this. We think the army’s coming to kill everyone here.”
“We know.” Marva rocked her fishbabies.
“You do?” Madeline asked. “Why you still heah, then?”
“We have nowhere to go. This is our home, and all we know is fishing. No other settlement would offer aid to people who used to be cultists, and with the kingdom as shrunken as it is, there’s no civilized place to hide. The wars ground everyone down. And we’d die in the wilds, if we tried that. Assuming the army just let us go.”
Threadbare considered. He turned to his little group of toys. “Are they right?”
“Yeah,” Zuula said. “King not hesitate to wipe out villages. Taylor’s Delve proof of dat, and wasn’t any cult shenanigans involved.”
“The army will mow through this town like a scythe through wheat,” Garon said. “Most of these guys are level eight or under. I mean, we’re not much farther than that, after that fight, but we’ve got jobs and golem advantages over them.”
“Golem advantages.” Threadbare rubbed his chin. “Marva, I saw a lot of treasure on that boat below. Are there any reagents and crystals in there?”
“Why, yes. The trade mostly dried up since Catamountain closed, but we used to be quite the black market hub back in the day.” The middle-aged fishwife smiled. “We donated everything we had to the… society… but nobody was an enchanter so it went unused.”
“I see.” Threadbare said. “You have nowhere to run. How would you like to fight?”
“Fight for what?” Marva said. “Our pastor’s dead. We have no one to lead us.”
“You do,” said Zuula, standing her full eight inches tall. “Bend your knee and swear, and Dreadbear save you all!” Then she went downstairs to smash open barrels full of loot from the boat, because she’d been right dammit.
The ex-cultists muttered. They discussed. And in the end, they decided, they had nothing left to lose.
One by one, with more trickling in from the rest of the town, including most of the folk who assumed they’d be slaughtered along with the cultists, the people gathered to place their hope and their dreams in the paws of one small teddy bear.
And on that day, Dreadbear, Lord of Outsmouth, first of his name, swore in subject after subject and gained three ruler levels.
He’d need them, for the ordeal ahead.
QUICK REFERENCE - THREADBARE’S NEW SKILLS
Duelist Skills
PARRY Level: 5 Cost: N/A Duration: Passive Constant While you have your specialized weapon drawn, you have a chance of parrying any melee attack you are aware of.
SWASHBUCKLER’S SPIRIT Level: 5 Cost: N/A Duration: Passive Constant Your Charisma buffs your Cool.
SWINGER Level: 5 Cost: N/A Duration: One minute per skill level Activate this skill to buff your agility and climb skill while swinging from ropes, chains, chandeliers, etc…
Ruler Skills
IT’S GOOD TO BE KING Level: 10 Cost: N/A Duration: Passive Constant You gain a tiny fraction of experience whenever one of your subjects does. Experience gained from higher level individuals goes directly to leveling your ruler class. Experience gained from lower level individuals may only be utilized for King’s Quest rewards.
KING’S QUEST Level: 10 Cost: 20 Mox Duration: Permanent until changed Decree a public quest. All your subjects within earshot may accept. Any who fulfill the quest reap the benefits of the quest immediately.
THREADBARE’S CHARACTER SHEET
Name: Threadbare Age: 5
Jobs: Greater Toy Golem Level 12 Cave Bear Level 11 Ruler Level 10 Scout Level 6 Tailor Level 10 Model Level 7 Necromancer Level 10 Duelist Level 5 Animator Level 11 Enchanter Level 2 Golemist Level 7 Smith Level 5
Attributes: Strength: 109 Constitution: 115 Hit Points: 288(358) Armor: 47(51) Intelligence: 161 Wisdom: 175(181) Sanity: 336(445) Mental Fortitude: 37 Dexterity: 103(109) Agility: 97(109) Stamina: 210(288) Endurance: 57 Charisma: 98(129) Willpower: 144 Moxie: 242(343) Cool: 20(45) Perception: 94 Luck: 80(86) Fortune: 174(250) Fate: 12(18) Generic Skills Brawling - Level 33 (+7) Climb - Level 13 Clubs and Maces - Level 9 Dagger - Level 9 Dodge - Level 8 Fishing - Level 1 Ride - Level 8 Stealth - Level 10 Swim - Level 5
Greater Toy Golem Skills Adorable - Level 30 Bodyguard - Level 6 Gift of Sapience - Level NA Golem Body - Level 23 Innocent Embrace - Level 12 Magic Resistance -Level 7
Bear Skills Animalistic Interface - NA Claw Swipes - 22 Darkspawn - NA Forage - 13 Growl - 2 Hibernate - 37 Scents and Sensibility - 18 Stubborn - 8 Toughness - 17
Ruler Skills Appoint Official - Level NA Emboldening Speech - Level 11 Identify Subject - Level 10 It’s Good to be King - NA King’s Quest - Level 5 Noblesse Oblige - Level 20 Organize Minions - Level NA Royal Audience - Level 15 Simple Decree - Level 8 Swear Fealty - Level NA
Scout Skills Alertness - Level 1 Best Route - Level 1 Camouflage - Level 1 Firestarter - Level 4 Keen Eye - Level 2 Sturdy Back - Level 6 Wind’s Whisper - Level 5
Tailor Skills Tailoring - Level 45(51) Clean and Press - Level 9 Adjust Outfit - Level 2
Model Skills Call Outfit - Level 1 Dietary Restriction - Level 35 (+70 to all pools) Fascination - Level 4 Flex - Level 14 Makeup - Level 1 Self-Esteem - Level 14 Strong Pose - Level 1 Work it Baby - Level 35
Necromancer Skills Assess Corpse - Level 10 Command the Dead - Level 28 Deathsight - Level 6 Drain Life - Level 1 Invite Undead - Level 12 Mana Focus - Level NA (+10% to sanity) Skeletons - Level 16 Soulstone - Level 24 Speak With Dead - Level 18 Zombies - Level 3
Duelist Skills Challenge - Level 4 Dazzling Entrance - Level 8 Fancy Flourish - Level 7 (13) Guard Stance - Level 8 Parry - Level 1 Swashbuckler’s Spirit - NA (+12 to cool) Swinger - Level 1 Weapon Specialist - Level 15 (Brawling +7)
Animator Skills Animus - Level 29 Animus Blade - Level 9 Animus Shield - Level 1 Arm Creation - Level 6 Command Animus - Level 18 Creator’s Guardians - Level 20 Dollseye - Level 17 Eye for Detail - Level 19 Magic Mouth - Level 17 Mend - Level 31
Enchanter Skills Appraise - Level 9 Glowgleam - Level 1 Harden - Level 5 Soften - Level 1 Spellstore - Level 1
Golemist Skills Command Golem - Level 1 Golem Animus - Level 6 Invite Golem - Level 2 Mend Golem - Level 6 Program Golem - Level 1 Toy Golem - Level 6 Wood Golem - Level 1
Smith Skills Adjust Arms and Armor - Level 4 Refine Ore - Level 1 Smithing - Level 21
Equipment Apprentice Tailor’s Apron (+4 Armor, +4 Tailoring)(+1 Armor, Tailoring, from WIB) Baggy Pants of Hammerspace (+5 AGL, +5 CHA, Allows hammerspace for one blunt weapon)(+1 AGI, CHA, from WIB) Poor Quality Bling Ringtail Master’s Coat (+5 CHA, +5 LUCK, +5 Armor, +5 Fate)(+1 CHA, LUCK, Armor, Fate from WIB) Rod of Baronly Might (+5 CHA, +5 WIS, +10 Cool)(+1 CHA, WIS, +3 Cool from WIB) Yellow Belt of Bravado (+5 AGL, +5 DEX, +5 to the Fancy Flourish skill)(+1 AGL, DEX, Fancy Flourish from WIB) Toy Top Hat (CHA +10)(+3 CHA from WIB)
Inventory A Finely-Made Dagger (Dagger Level 5) A Dungeon Core Tailor’s Tools A small jewelry box full of reagents and crystals, most minor. Minorphone (Enhances voice and social skills focused through it twice per day) Quests Save Celia
Unlocked Jobs Berserker, Cleric, Cook, Cultist, Grifter, Spirit Medium, Tamer, Wizard
Winning Hearts and Minds 1
“Good of you to finally join us, Dame Ragandor,” the half-orc said. Heavyset and clad in white armor that had once been pristine but was marred with countless scratches and nicks, the green woman’s face could have been marble to match her suit’s coloration for all the emotion it showed.
“Thank you. The rangers delayed us-“
“Your sergeant has already filled me in on that and I wasn’t asking you for excuses anyway.”
Cecelia felt her cheeks tighten. They’d told her the CO of Fort Bronze was a hardass. Her father had warned her she’d find people in the military that would be rude to her on purpose, to test her, and that she’d have to find a balance between sticking up for herself and letting stuff go.
So instead of stammering or apologizing or fussing like the old, weak Celia would have done, Cecelia stood there at attention, keeping her eyes fixed on the General in charge of the Eastern Front.
General Mastoya sighed, and rose, looking out the window. Her hair clicked together, the fingerbones braided into it rattling. She was the first Knight that Cecelia had ever seen with long hair.
Well, besides her father, at any rate, but when you got that high a level in all those classes, you more or less made your own rules.
