Threadbare - Complete Trilogy, page 38
“What happened? When you became a cleric?” He asked, once she had a pretty good grasp of talking.
“There was a light. A lot of big things looking at me. Then a man came forward and said he would help me. He had a big hammer like my old friend Scoops used to. His name was Yorgum, and he said he was the god of builders.”
“Oh, okay.”
“He said I needed a mouth and to bug you until you made me one. He said that the monsters have to leave this town so it can grow again someday. And that we’re really special because there’s so very few like us, at least right now. And that he couldn’t tell us too much because of rules, but we should ask the nice lady about some of the weird stuff you found. And to go smite all of their asses. What’s an ass?”
“I think it’s the part you sit on.” Threadbare concentrated. The rest of it didn’t make much sense. “Weird stuff? I don’t have too much of-oh, wait a minute.” He turned back to Zuula, and rummaged in his pack, pulling out the red crystal with flickering numbers. “You’re a nice lady. Do you know what this is?”
Zuula’s ghostly eyes grew wide. “Dat be a dungeon core! How you get dat, little bear?”
“This is what they both want?” He asked, confused. “How do you even make dungeons with this? There’s no help prompt.”
“Wait,” Zuula said, her eyes getting even wider. “Dey both want a dungeon core? Who dey?”
“The Cat Lady and the Vampires.”
Zuula stood there, thinking for a bit.
And then she shook her head. “No, no. Wouldn’t work. Zuula be bound here. Got no way to come along with. If she could come with you, would work. But she can’t, so… no. Pity. Was awesome idea, too. Big violence, many asses smote.”
“I want to do that!” Missus Fluffbear spoke up. “The nice god told me to!”
“Wait. You’re stuck here?” Threadbare asked.
“Yes. Bound to hut. No way to go, no vessel to carry her.”
“Hmm… Status.” Yes, yes that worked the way he thought it did. “I may have a way around that. Soulstone.”
Your Soulstone skill is now level 2!
A black crystal materialized in his paw. About the size of a small apple, it seemed to draw in the light around it.
“Oh…” Zuula said, approaching it. “Wimpy. Can feel it tugging, but so weak, so weak. Still, if she don’t resist…” She touched it, and her form blurred, oozed into the stone, and was gone. A fleck of green light flickered, deep in the crystal.
There was a pause.
“Level fucking one?” Zuula’s voice shrieked, bouncing around inside the stone. “No. Huh-uh.” She shook, and the soulstone shattered as she burst out of it. “Not gonna ride in such a puny vessel. Total refuse. Professional orc pride on line.” The spirit folded her arms and pouted, which looked weird on her tusked face.
“Maybe it’s that low because my skill with it is so low,” Threadbare mused. “Or because I’m only a level seven Necromancer.”
“Well! Zuula know cure for dat!” She grinned, and up came the skeletons again.
They trained well into the night, but soon hit diminishing returns. Fluffbear got some good cleric levels, but Threadbare only got two necromancer level-ups, which didn’t seem to affect the Soulstone quality. So he switched to casting Soulstone over and over again, skilling up as far as he could given his sanity limitations. In frustration he appraised it using his neglected Enchanter skill… and leveling that job up as well.
You are now a level 2 Enchanter!
DEX +3 INT +3 WILL +3
That was nice, but the appraise turned up bad news for Zuula. “Well, my skill’s at twenty-four now. So your effective level in the soulstone is going to be a three. I think it’s one level for every ten or fraction of ten,” Threadbare said, showing her the crystal. He knew what fractions were now, he realized. And a lot more math besides. Benefits of sudden intelligence boosts, he supposed.
Zuula wasn’t any happier with level three than she was with level one. “What! No. No, a t’ousand times no!”
It took a lot of pleading, every bit of charisma he had, and finally pointing out that her son was on the line to get her to relent. Finally, begrudgingly, she oozed into the crystal. Threadbare blinked, as new information came up on his appraisal. “It’s a level one crystal now.”
“Which mean what?”
“I could use it to make a toy golem. Or do enchanting stuff with. Maybe.”
There was a long pause. “Maybe don’t try dat while Zuula in it.”
“Yeah, I don’t know what that would do.”
“I could ask Yorgum,” Fluffbear offered.
“Bah, what do Gods know of it. No, listen, Zuula got more important stuff on how to kick all undead asses. Zuula got great idea. Now she go with you, and we make sure both sides lose, and we get you friends back. Interested?”
“Of course I am,” Threadbare said.
“So you got de dungeon core, right? And dey both want it, right?”
“Yes.”
“So let us give it to dem. At the same time…”
QUICK REFERENCE: THREADBARE’S NEW NECROMANCER SKILLS
THREADBARE’S NEW NECROMANCY SKILLS
DEATHSIGHT Level: 5 Cost: 10 San Duration: 5 minutes per necromancer level Automatically appraises the hit points left to any creature you look at. May not work on level ???? creatures.
INVITE UNDEAD Level: 5 Cost: 10 San Duration: 1 Hour per necromancer level Invites the targeted undead to your party. Non-sapient undead who are not already in a party will automatically join if this spell is not resisted. Intelligent undead always have the option of refusal.
SKELETONS
Level: 5 Cost: 15 San Duration: Permanent Animates one skeleton or skeletal fragment into a skeleton. Requires a spirit.
THREADBARE’S CHARACTER SHEET
Name: Threadbare Age: 5
Jobs: Greater Toy Golem Level 10 Cave Bear Level 10 Ruler Level 4 Scout Level 5 Tailor Level 8 Model Level 4 Necromancer Level 9 Duelist Level 3 Animator Level 5 Enchanter Level 2 Golemist Level 2 Smith Level 1
Attributes Strength: 93 Constitution: 100 Hit Points: 253(293) Armor: 42(51) Intelligence: 111 Wisdom: 140(145) Sanity: 193(296) Mental Fortitude: 32 Dexterity: 73(78) Agility: 78(88) Stamina: 161(226) Endurance: 52 Charisma: 68(93) Willpower: 94 Moxie: 162(227) Cool: 20 Perception: 68 Luck: 60(65) Fortune: 128(173) Fate: 10(15) Generic Skills Brawling - Level 25 (+5) Climb - Level 13 Clubs and Maces - Level 9 Dagger - Level 9 Dodge - Level 7 Fishing - Level 1 Ride - Level 8 Stealth - Level 10 Swim - Level 2
Greater Toy Golem Skills Adorable - Level 19 Bodyguard - Level 6 Gift of Sapience - Level NA Golem Body - Level 20 Innocent Embrace - Level 11 Magic Resistance -Level 6
Bear Skills Animalistic Interface - NA Claw Swipes - 22 Darkspawn - NA Forage - 13 Growl - 2 Hibernate - 37 Scents and Sensibility - 18 Stubborn - 7 Toughness - 15
Ruler Skills Emboldening Speech - Level 5 Identify Subject - Level 1 Noblesse Oblige - Level 20 Royal Request - Level 1 Simple Decree - Level 1
Scout Skills Alertness - Level 1 Best Route - Level 1 Camouflage - Level 1 Firestarter - Level 4 Keen Eye - Level 1 Sturdy Back - Level 6 Wind’s Whisper - Level 1
Tailor Skills Talioring - Level 38(42) Clean and Press - Level 5 Adjust Outfit - Level 2
Model Skills Dietary Restriction - Level 20 (+40 to all pools) Fascination - Level 3 Flex - Level 13 Self-Esteem - Level 13 Work it Baby - Level 9
Necromancer Skills Assess Corpse - Level 8 Command the Dead - Level 24 Deathsight - Level 6 Invite Undead - Level 12 Skeletons - Level 12 Soulstone - Level 24 Speak With Dead -Level 8 Zombies - Level 3
Duelist Skills Challenge - Level 3 Dazzling Entrance - Level 1 Fancy Flourish - Level 6 (11) Guard Stance - Level 8 Weapon Specialist - Level 10 (Brawling +5) Animator Skills Animus - Level 12 Animus Blade - Level 1 Arm Creation - Level 1 Command Animus - Level 7 Creator’s Guardians - Level 12 Dollseye - Level 1 Eye for Detail - Level 7
Mend - Level 25
Enchanter Skills Appraise - Level 5 Glowgleam - Level 1 Harden - Level 5 Soften - Level 1 Spellstore - Level 1
Golemist Skills Command Golem - Level 1 Golem Animus - Level 2 Invite Golem - Level 2 Toy Golem Construction - Level 2
Smith Skills Refine Ore - Level 1
Equipment Apprentice Tailor’s Apron (+4 Armor, +4 Tailoring) Baggy Pants of Hammerspace (+5 AGL, +5 CHA, Allows hammerspace for one blunt weapon) Poor Quality Bling Ringtail Master’s Coat (+5 CHA, +5 LUCK, +5 Armor, +5 Fate) Rod of Baronly Might (+5 CHA, +5 WIS, +10 Cool) Yellow Belt of Bravado (+5 AGL, +5 DEX, +5 to the Fancy Flourish skill) Toy Top Hat (CHA +10)
Inventory Assorted Copper and Silver coins Clown Horn Tailor’s Tools 2 Doses of Red Reagent 1 Doses of Yellow Reagent Minorphone (Enhances voice and social skills focused through it twice per day) Soulstone: Zuula
Quests Save Celia
Unlocked Jobs Berserker, Cleric, Cook, Tamer, Wizard
A Paw Full of Undead 3: The Bear, the Vamp, and the Catlady
The vampires of Taylor’s Delve had learned long ago, and at great cost, that they couldn’t spread out and sleep through the day with individual coffins. The Cat Queen hunted them by day, and her minions had good enough senses of smell that they could find the graves. And once she found a reliable source of bodies to make ghouls from, it was easy for the enemy to dig them up, and dump the shrieking vampires out into the sunlight to sizzle. Madeline had lost too many spawn that way, before the Angst caught on. (An Angst is the proper word for a group of vampires. Crows have murders, wolves have packs, vampires have angsts.)
So now they spent days under the tavern, in the tunnel network they’d hollowed out with time, patience, and strong undead hands. It had multiple escape routes, and it was big enough that they could lure in any ghouls who managed to dig their way into the tunnels, and dispose of them. One on one, the Cat Queen’s minions were no match for the vampires. But it was never a one on one scenario, which was why they were down to Mads and her three spawn.
Well, four, but that one wasn’t much use. Still, she’d taken the trouble to drag him downstairs, lashed to his bed, as usual. Thank Nebs for small favors that the original owner of this building believed in wide staircases.
He’d gone silent hours ago, though, and Madeline sat, stroking his brow. Had the little bear succeeded? She’d sent him out there because she thought he had good odds, but the glory of it was that it wouldn’t hurt her position either way. She’d risked no loss to herself or to her angst by putting the toy golems in danger, so she’d done it.
She did know that this was the calmest she’d seen Garon in ages. “Ding dong the witch is dead,” she hummed, smiling down as Garon’s red, red eyes squinted up at her.
“I can’t feel her. What did you do?” he rasped.
“I didn’t do nathing. Some teddy bear mighta killed her, though. Well, de-ainmahted her, I mean.”
“No!” He surged against the bindings, and Madeline jumped back, hand upraised. “She was my mother!” Garon howled.
“She was holding ya back!” Madeline yelled, her patience at an end. “I saved ya, not her! And we need ya strength if ya want to keep on existing!”
“I never asked for this!” bloody spittle flew from his mouth. His tusks had grown since his undeath, they cut into his lips when he talked. Madeline winced, and shook her head. If he wasn’t so gods damned cute, I swear, I’d leave him out to bake.
“Look. Ya spent five years fighting me. Fine, whatevs. Vampy puberty, most a yas go through it. But what’s it gaht ya?” She spread her hands. “Can’t beat me. I’m ya mastah. Got hooks in ya brain, Garon. Fight as ya want, at tha end of the naht, it’s my will be done.”
“Mother told me…” Garon rasped, his throat raw, “Being an orc… means never stop fighting…”
“Yah, but yer only half an orc, huh? Five years ya defied me, so now maybe you give me five years of peace for a change?”
He roared, and Madeline rolled her eyes, and turned to go-
-and ran straight into Grimble. He held up a grubby peace of paper. “We’ve got mail.”
“What?”
“This just got slipped under the door.”
“I told yas not to go upstairs after dawn!”
“Somebody knocked. Ghouls don’t knock.”
“Fahkin… what’s it say.” She grabbed it from the grifter, and peeled it open.
I destroyed the ghost witch like you asked. She hurt me pretty badly, so I can’t leave her clearing right now. The ghost witch was guarding a dungeon core, and I want to give it to you. But I think the Cat Queen knows. Please send help as soon as you can!
I’m sending this message to you with Missus Fluffbear. Please come as soon as night falls.
Cordially, Threadbare
Madeline’s eyes went wide. “Winnah winnah chicken dinnah!”
“What?”
“We tried ta draw three of a kind and gaht a full house. Get Darla and Barrett ready. We march at night.”
“What about…” He nodded past her, at Garon, still howling and frothing.
“I gaht him.” She said. “Maybe he’ll want ta pay his respects.”
Silence. “My respects?” Garon croaked.
“Yeah, the one that croaked yer mah? No shit, it was this taukin’ teddy bear guy!”
“Wait. What?”
“Came inta town with a troop of toys, wearin’ a top hat and full a’ jobs. One of’em was necromancer, and so I sent him ghost witch huntin’. And he succeeded! Now we’re ganna go and get tha booty from him.” She sighed. “Innocent little guy. I almost feel bahd fah playin’ him.”
“Innocent, yes,” Garon’s face fell into a blank expression. “So he went out there and beat up my mother, huh? Did he know the details beforehand?”
“Pssh, why bothah with that?” Madeline shrugged. “Not like he had a stake in her survival anyway. Come on, are you with us or naht?”
“I’ll go with you,” Garon said. He’d learned to be very careful with his words over the years. But Madeline heard what she wanted, and unbound the heavy chains holding him to the bedframe.
Outside, they ran into the rest of the spawn. Grimble held the letter up to her, frowning. “Are you sure this isn’t a trick?”
“What? Please. From that little beah?” Madeline laughed. “You saw how gullible he was!”
Grimble’s grifterly instincts fought with him one last time, but lost. “Yeah, that is a pretty ridiculous notion. He’s just a foolish little toy, after all.”
“Woodn’t last five minahts in a propah dungeon,” Madeline agreed, as the vampires suited up. Darla handed Garon his axe, for the first time in years, watching him to make sure he wouldn’t get stupid. But he just slid it into his belt, sneering.
“What’ve you got to be happy about?” Darla whispered. She’d never liked the half-breed much.
“Oh, I’ll tell you later,” Garon lied.
He never did tell her, but by the time it came up telling wasn’t necessary.
*****
In the green light of her cave, the old lady squinted at the letter.
I went looking for a dungeon core like you asked, and I found one. The ghost who had it is dead, but I need help. I’m really hurt and I need Pulsivar to take me to safety. He knows the way.
But I think the vampires know where I am. Please hurry! I just hope this letter reaches you in time.
Cordially,
Threadbare
“Hm… hm… well isn’t this interesting, my dearies?” the old lady said, stroking a small tabby cat as it tried to flee. It clawed at her futilely, feeling its flesh writhe under her spectral touch. Where her fingers stroked, fur turned white, white as snow.
The cat screamed. The old lady smiled benevolently. “Oh, you’re hungry my dear? Of course, of course. You there, Command Undead, lay down for feeding time.” she snapped at one of the just-returned ghouls. Snarling, eyes rolling in hatred, the ghoul did as it was told. Instantly, from the rear of the cavern, dozens of cats descended, ribs thin against their hides, mouths open and hungry. The ghoul vanished under a furry carpet, screaming as it became prey, instead of predator.
It was a good system, as far as the Spectromancer was concerned. The ghouls went out and ate the dead, regenerating their gruesome flesh, then they came back and the cats ate from them. Sure, some of them fell ill and died, but she just woke them up again and they were right as rain. She looked forward to putting it into widespread use once she had a little more territory to her name.
Miss Tocksy put the tabby down and it ran from her, on trembling legs. She paid it no notice, turning to one of her Wight Tigers. “What do you think, dearies? Do you think we should bring Spookums to him? Hm… He does so like it here.” She rose and walked back into the mineshaft. The dead cats came out to meet her, purring. The living ones fled for their lives. She walked past green glowstones set into the ceiling, past the old cart with two cougar skeletons harnessed to it, past all of that until she got to the back rooms. There, the black bobcat lay exhausted, grooming a cougar a third again his size. The cougar flinched back from the spectromancer as she entered, and Pulsivar studied her with unimpressed eyes. Then his yellow gaze shifted to the Wight Tiger, and his tail lashed, furiously.
“Come now Spookums, Mopsy, everyone’s friends here,” Tocksy said. “How would you like to go walkies?”
Mopsy retreated. Her heat was about over, and the all-consuming fire that had filled her was quenched. Now self-preservation was kicking in.
“Come,” Tocksy insisted. “Walk.”
Mopsy, having learned lessons painfully, and still with the white scars across her fur to show it, followed meekly. The spectromancer’s touch could and had drained her moxie to dangerously low levels.
Concerned, Pulsivar followed, freezing as the Wight Tiger rumbled. Yellow eyes met blue ones, and narrowed. The bobcat did not like the smell of these weird predators. He thought they might need a lesson.
Then Mopsy looked back to him, and that beautiful, earthshaking odor filled his nose again. Completing that mating season quest had got him a level, and been pretty enjoyable overall. So he followed her, ignoring the Wight Tiger with the utmost dignity as they passed.
