From the Hat Down, page 4
“Okay, okay.” Meg re-positioned herself and put her feet on the coffee table. Sean always told a great story, even though love was a topic about which she felt particularly cynical these days.
“So these two people—a guy and a girl—met in college and dated for a couple of years.” Sean smoothed her skirt. “They met at a party and you could tell sparks flew right after they were introduced. They started dating and it was magic. And you know me. That kind of stuff generally gets a big ‘whatever’ because it’s kind of woo-woo. I prefer a more logical explanation.”
“True. You’re almost as much of a cynic as I am about that.”
“You’re not entirely a cynic,” she said cryptically. “But let’s move on with our two love bunnies. Anyway, everybody figured they’d end up together forever and ever, amen. I might be a cynic, but you can’t argue with some people’s connections.” She paused.
“And?”
Sean smiled and took a sip from her bottle before continuing. “And they were pretty serious but for whatever reasons, shit happened and they parted ways. They stayed in touch but eventually, not so much. Both went and did their own things and got married to other people, had kids and mortgages and bills to pay.”
“I thought you said this was a cute story.”
“It is. If you’d shut up and listen.”
She made a face and Sean dug her toes into her thigh.
“So then—” Sean stopped and mock-glared at her.
“What? I’m listening. Swear.” Meg smiled and took a drink from her bottle.
“All right. One day, years after college, they both ended up at the same party in Dallas. Some fancy benefit soiree. She was one of the architects designing the facility that the hoop-dee-do was benefiting and he was a member of the sponsoring foundation’s board. So anyway, they showed up, but obviously neither knew the other was going to be there. And of course, they hadn’t seen each other in a million years anyway and why the hell would either think ‘oh, I might run into my old college fling here’?” She paused and took a drink from her beer bottle. “So they’re hanging out with their respective cliques, doing the schmooze thing and eating the snacks and making nice and all that shit. He goes to the bar to get a glass of wine and one of his work colleagues comes over and says, ‘Hey, a couple of the architects are over here. Why don’t you come and meet them’?” She stopped to take another drink.
“And? What happened?” Meg asked, impatient.
“Oh, so now you want to know,” she teased.
“Please?” She did her “Bambi eyes” expression.
“Damn. I can’t resist you when you do that. Good thing I’m reasonably straight. Okay, so back to the soiree. He goes with his colleague to this group of people, not thinking much about it beyond the usual howdy kind of thing and as they get closer, the only woman in the group turns to look at him.” She paused for effect and Meg leaned forward a little.
“And he can’t fucking believe it. Can’t. They stare at each other until it makes everybody else in the group sort of creeped out. Then they both start laughing and explain how they knew each other in college and they hadn’t seen each other in years and neither had any idea what the other was up to and, well, here they were. So everybody relaxes and they chat and carry on and it’s like they just picked up where they left off and what do you know, but sparks flew again.”
“But what about the spouses?”
“Divorced. Him for five years, her for six.”
“Kids?”
“Grown. It was a perfect time to run into each other. Their eyes met again like at that party in college years ago only this time, it is forever and ever, amen. And yeah, good thing they were both divorced when they met again. That might’ve been complicated.” She shrugged. “But love finds a way. And yeah, that sounds kind of woo-woo, but if you put it in physics terms, and think about how energy moves or is stored, then it kind of blunts the woo-woo.”
Meg sat back, smiling. “Okay, you’re right. That is a cute story, even with physics. So what happened to them?”
She raised an eyebrow, impish. “They’re my dad and stepmom.”
Meg stared at her. “Oh, my God. You never told me that! Why didn’t you tell me that?” She smacked her on the arm.
“I have told you that. I told you my dad met my stepmom in college and they dated then lost touch then got back together.” Sean smacked her back.
“Well, it sounds better telling it with the extra love and romance stuff.”
“Oh, suddenly you want to hear mushy love stuff?”
Meg opened her mouth to retort but stopped when Sean shot her a look.
“Sometimes,” Sean continued, “two people who are totally right for each other meet a bit early. That’s not necessarily a bad thing because they meet and they establish that initial connection. And that connection will see them through the weeks, months, or years that they’re apart. Like potential energy. But sometimes, the people have to go and do other things before it’s time for the actual relationship.”
“I thought they’d had a relationship in college.”
“They did. But it was like a trial relationship, and that’s why it didn’t quite work then. They weren’t ready, and hadn’t gotten to places in their lives where they could truly appreciate each other. When my dad met Susan at that party for the second time, it was like a missing piece that they didn’t even really know was missing fell into place. Both told me that, separately. They’d worked out a bunch of baggage and dealt with some shit and they were really ready to engage with each other. They were ready to open up.” She went into lecture mode. “So the moral of this story, young lady, is to keep your mind open and your pants on.”
Meg’s eyes widened and she almost choked on her beer. “My. . .what?”
Sean smiled, eyes twinkling. “Don’t give it up for just anyone. Not that there’s anything wrong with a rebound fling. Especially when you wear those shorts. Do you rope in ’em?”
“Yep. And my Vans, too. But I wear Hawaiian shirts with my jeans when we brand.”
Sean arched one eyebrow in a way that broadcast that she knew she was shitting her. “Whatever. It’s cute.” She brushed Meg’s comment away. “Some of the things I’ve always liked about you are your little contradictions. Here you are, this tough Wyoming cowgirl with the skills to walk the walk and talk the talk and more often than not, I see you in your jeans and boots and that ultra sexy black Stetson—”
“I’m sporting Resistol lately.”
“Who cares? It’s super hot. Anyway, would you please let me extol your virtues for a minute?”
Meg sighed, embarrassed, but motioned for her to continue.
“Thank you. Where was I? Oh, yes. And that awesome sexy black hat. It looks really good with your dark hair. Though that white straw one you have. . .yum. And the way your hair falls around your shoulders and that distant cowgirl look you get in your eyes. . .Lord, you’re like Lonesome Dove.” She fanned herself like some kind of southern debutante. “Girl, call 911. And then call Ted and tell him I’ve done gone and got myself hogtied at Meg’s.”
Meg laughed.
Sean smiled and took a sip of beer. She sat looking at her for a moment. “Did Gina turn you on to your beach girl side?”
Meg started at the sound of that name and she hesitated, thinking that Gina had turned her on to a lot more than that. She slammed the lid on those thoughts. “Yeah. L.A. girl and all.”
“So have you heard from her yet? It’s time for the annual birthday card.”
Meg fired a look at her but detected nothing beyond interest. “Not yet. I’m sure I’ll get one soon.” Gina always sent cards on her birthday. And she’d send a card at Christmas, too. Other times she’d send postcards from the places she traveled as a journalist. Meg thought about the carving of the horse she’d sent, and how Meg had worn its surface even smoother because she picked it up every time she sat at her desk.
“I liked her,” Sean said. “I think about her sometimes when I’m listening to international news.” She took another sip.
“She’s a good writer.” Meg fiddled with the label of her beer bottle. She kept a folder next to her computer in her home office. It was filled with Gina’s news stories, both short and long pieces, that she’d collected over the years. She hadn’t told Sean that, but she wasn’t sure why.
“When was the last time you saw her?”
She pondered. “Um. . .it was that time you met her. Four years ago? Five?” Jesus. That long ago? She stared at her beer bottle again.
“Shit. That was a while ago,” Sean said, echoing her thoughts.
“Yep.” She looked over at Sean. “And we’re talking about Gina because. . .?” She raised her eyebrows and brought her bottle to her lips.
Sean shrugged. “I think about her this time every year because of the story you told me about how you two met.” She waggled her eyebrows lecherously. “That was quite a twenty-fifth birthday present.”
Meg flushed. She quickly took another swallow of beer.
“Though you were very tasteful in your telling. I don’t know the details—”
“Okay. Thank you for the reminder. Now please let me go through a normal grieving process for Kate.”
“Oh, right,” Sean said with a little snort of disbelief. “Hon, you’ve been grieving that since last year.” She waved her hand dismissively.
“What do you mean?”
“Please. You knew it was over. Not to suggest that you couldn’t have worked it out, but the truth is you didn’t want to.”
“And why is that?”
Sean shrugged, as if it was obvious. “Because you knew Kate wasn’t the right one. You liked her all right, and you probably loved her on some level.” She adjusted her legs on the couch. “But she wasn’t the right one. You didn’t have the kind of connection you needed to keep it going.”
“Are you sure veterinary sciences is your calling? Because you’re damn good with people, too.”
“Oh, hell no,” Sean said with a laugh. “People make things way too complicated. I like the purity and simplicity of animals. And speaking of veterinary sciences, Doctor Tallmadge, did you check your schedule so Ted and I can celebrate your birthday? We’d like to do so with you around, actually.”
“Shit. I forgot. Oh, and you’ll love this. My mom decided to fly out this year to visit me at the ranch for my birthday.”
“Irene’s coming to visit?” Sean sounded shocked.
“Wait. It gets even better. She’s trying to set me up again and she’s bringing some poor guy with her.”
Sean stared at her. “No.”
“Yes.”
“Fuck.”
“Exactly. I just called her and told her yet again that I’m gay and she needs to leave the guy in Kentucky.” She finished her beer and set the bottle on the coffee table.
“Is she going to?”
“Nope. But here’s the cool thing. Dad’s full-up with guests. Oh, darn. I’ll have to help him with that and oh, how sad, I won’t be able to hang out with this guy too much. Good thing. He’s safer that way. Wouldn’t want him worrying that I was going to jump his bones or anything.”
Sean laughed. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make light of this.”
“Not to worry. It’s pretty damn funny, if you think about it.”
“It kind of is. Your mom is a piece of work—bless her heart,” she added in true Southern fashion. “So how about an early birthday, then? This Saturday? Wait. What about this Friday? Can you come down for dinner? Do some kind of cool vet procedure with me in the afternoon and you can write it off.”
She grinned. “I like that. And I’ll for sure remember to check my schedule tomorrow.”
“That’d be great. Call me.”
“I will.”
“Cool. Now let’s order pizza. Because being the lezzie bachelor that you are, I know you haven’t eaten yet.” She grabbed Meg’s phone and handed it to her before she bounced off the couch. Meg half-expected to see little pixie wings on her back. Sean took both beer bottles into the kitchen while Meg pressed the speed-dial number for Grand Avenue Pizza on her phone. As she ordered, Sean returned with two more bottles, and set one on the coffee table in front of Meg before she crossed the room to the sound system where her iPod was docked. She turned it on and pressed the “play” button, adjusting the volume as Sade’s sultry voice filled the room. Meg finished ordering and hung up.
“So for real,” Sean said. “Are you okay?”
“I think so,” she said as Sean sat down on the couch again. “It’s weird. I feel sad but I’m relieved.”
“Kate wasn’t the right one. But when the right one comes along, do yourself a favor. Let her in.” She sipped her beer.
“Easier said than done.”
Sean regarded her like she had a secret she was passing along. “Not really. You just jump. It’s like diving into a pool of water. You don’t know what the temperature is, but you find out, don’t you?”
A memory flashed through Meg’s mind, of doing just that, naked, into Utah’s Green River after a long day of hiking. A dark-haired woman with sparkling dark eyes held Meg’s hand and she said, “Trust me,” as she pulled Meg with her over the sandstone lip of the canyon’s wall and they plummeted twenty feet down into the cool depths. The water closed over her head but Gina never let go of her hand and when they surfaced, she pulled Meg close and kissed her and Meg thought she could do this forever, be here forever, graft fragments of her own spirit onto Gina’s and find any answer she sought in Gina’s eyes.
“—hello?”
She jerked her head back into the present. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly.
Sean looked at her quizzically. “Where were you?”
“Nowhere. Just thinking about some stuff I have to do at work.” She knew Sean didn’t believe her but she also knew she wouldn’t press it. Yet. “So what’s up at your clinic?”
Sean’s expression said “I’ll drag it out of you later,” as she talked about some of the cases she’d had the past week. Fifteen minutes later the pizza arrived, letting Meg off the hook, for now. They ate and chatted, laughed and commiserated until Sean grabbed Meg’s left wrist and checked the time.
“Damn,” she said. “I have to drive back.”
“You want to take some pizza for Ted?
“Nope. He’s doing a poker night with friends. They got their own pizza.”
“Bet it’s not as good as Grand Avenue.”
“Bet you’re right. That’s why I’m leaving it for my awesome lezzie bachelor friend. Because times like these call for great pizza.”
“Times like what?”
“Endings.” Sean gave her a toothy grin. “And maybe beginnings.” She stood before Meg could say anything else and carried the plates and empty bottles into the kitchen. She set the bottles on the counter and washed the plates by hand while Meg wrapped the leftover pizza in tinfoil and put it in the fridge.
Sean set the plates to dry in the rack. “Meg, honey, you still live like a student back in the day.” Her tone was gentle. She dried her hands on the dish towel. “When are you gonna get some matching furniture? Or dishes?”
“Maybe never. Seems I get that from girlfriends.” She put the empty bottles in one of the recycling bins she kept next to the trash can, and realized her tone was more brittle than she had intended.
“I’m sorry,” Sean said. “That didn’t sound right. It’s just that you don’t seem to have a place of your own in the world. Wait. Amend that. You have a place, but you haven’t really carved a piece of it out for yourself.”
“It’s okay. I know what you meant. Sorry to be so harsh. And you’re right. I do live like a damn bachelor student. Thank God I had you in vet school to take me places with nicer furniture and better dishes.”
Sean studied her face. “I get the feeling you’re looking for something.”
Meg smiled down at her. “Aren’t we all?”
“If we’re smart, yes.” She pulled her into a long hug. “But you won’t find it if you’re not open to possibility,” she said against Meg’s shoulder.
“Does Ted know how awesome you are?”
“Yes. But remind him, will you? A hot, sexy lesbian like you in my life keeps him on his toes,” she giggled as she pulled away. “I have to run, sweets. It’s almost nine. I want to get back before ten.”
“Thanks for stopping by,” she said as she followed Sean back into the living room. She scooped Sean’s keys off the coffee table and handed them to her before they both exited onto the porch, and she reached back inside and flipped the porch light on.
“Meg, you’re, like, my bestest friend. I just want you to be happy.”
“I am happy. Just a few bumps in the road is all.”
“Okay. Then I just want you to stop being so hard on yourself and I want you to relax and see how it feels to open up a bit.”
“If I forget, I’m sure you’ll remind me.”
Sean smacked her lightly on the shoulder.
“Ow! Some bestest friend you are.” She rubbed her arm in exaggerated pain.
“Watch it, chick. I can wrestle a cow to the floor faster than you can say ‘is she single’.”
“Talk like that might turn me on, being the poor bachelor that I am.”
Sean smacked her on the shoulder again. “Check your schedule and call me about Friday.”
“Yep. I’ll check with Roy and Mark and see if one of them can cover for me that afternoon. Maybe both will.”
“Great. It’ll be fun. And you know what to do if you just need to talk.”
They both burst into song at the same time. “Here’s a quarter. . .call someone who cares!”
Sean laughed. “Talk to you soon. Bye!” She bounded down the steps to her car, a racy red Nissan coupe parked at the curb.
“Catch you later,” Meg called after her. She waited until Sean pulled away from the curb before she went back into the house. The cool night air raised goosebumps on her bare arms and legs. She latched the screen door and closed and locked the heavy wooden inner door before she surveyed the living room, with its bare white walls and sparse furnishings.
