The Sinister Silhouette-D2D, page 25
As I stand there and watch her take a sip of coffee, I realize my thoughts refer to when I touch her, and not the adamancy of refraining from touching her. She’s always been off-limits to me for multiple reasons, but those reasons are becoming unimportant. In my mind, she’s not Theo’s anymore. She’s now mine.
“You must have remembered how I take my coffee. It’s just how I like it,” she comments after her first sip.
Her smile is sweet, and it really fucking tempts my determination to keep my hands off her.
I lean toward her and lower my voice. “There’s nothing I could forget about you.”
I realize as soon as the words leave my mouth that it’s a stupid statement to make, because I have forgotten about her. Although she’s invaded my dreams for years, and in a sense, I feel like I know her, and we technically met more than seven years ago, I still feel like we’ve only known each other for weeks.
I walk back to the stove and finish the omelets. I plate one for her then one for myself. We sit side-by-side and eat, and I once again get the feeling that this is somehow right. Like this is exactly where we’re both supposed to be.
Once we’re finished, I bring up a subject that I’ve been avoiding.
“Thanksgiving is in a couple of days.”
Wary amber eyes turn my way, and I hate that I put the look there. As much as I loathe to bring this up, it’s unavoidable. She needs to be prepared. With Mom not knowing what Theo did to Jules, there’s no way she would go for him not being at the family dinner. If it were up to me, I’d tell everyone. Theo’s royally fucked my loyalty to him, so I feel no qualms to protect his character in our parents’ eyes. But I know Jules doesn’t want them to know. It can’t be kept a secret forever though. The rest of the family needs to know what he did.
“Okay,” she says cautiously.
I turn in my seat to face her. “Theo’s going to be there.” My voice is even, despite the bad taste in my mouth at saying those words.
Fear flashes in her eyes, and I grit my teeth. I vow to myself to make sure she never has anything to fear ever again.
Grabbing her hand from her lap, I pry her fisted fingers loose from their tight grip. My eyes drop to the indents left in her palms by her fingernails. I smooth my fingers over the marks then look back at her.
“Nothing will happen. He’s smart enough to know not to pull any shit while everyone is there.”
Something akin to pride fills my chest when I see her straighten her spine and her expression turns from leery to determined. She shouldn’t have to worry about Theo, but it fucking pleases the shit out of me that she’s strong enough to take on the task.
“I’ll be fine,” she says, her voice firm.
She may feel that way, but I still want her to know I’ll protect her if necessary.
I lace my fingers with hers and squeeze them. “You won’t be left alone with him.”
“Okay.”
When she licks her lips, my eyes zone in on the wet sheen left behind. I rest our interlaced hands on her lap and lean forward, my other hand going to the back of her stool. Her eyes close as my head dips toward hers. As soon as my lips make contact, she lets out a little sigh. That small sound goes straight to my cock.
Without breaking our kiss, I stand and close the gap between us. My abs bump her knees. I don’t expect her to open them for me, but when she does, I step between them. Our position reminds me of the day in the shop, of what I desperately wanted to do to her, and how fucking hard it was to pull away.
I palm her cheek, my fingers sliding through her hair to cup the back of her head. I move our fingers to her lower back and her free hand presses against my side. A tortured groan escapes me.
Using both of our hands at her back, I pull her toward me until her ass is on the edge of the seat. The heat from her center sears me to the fucking core. Our tongues mesh together, and I can’t get enough of her taste. When her hand makes its way underneath my shirt, I about jump out of my goddamn skin. Unable to hold back the need, I grind my cock against her, nearly fucking exploding in my sweats from the pleasure. When she moans prettily against my mouth and her nails scrape across my flesh, I know I’m in big trouble.
I rip my mouth away from hers before this goes too damn far. My hair falls forward as I hang my head and take in several deep breaths, trying like fuck to get my bearings back.
“Luca,” she whispers. Her hands move to my hair, pushing the strands back. I close my eyes for a moment and relish her fingers playing with my hair and my name coming off her lips in such a soft way.
When I open them again, she’s watching me, her cheeks flushed, her lips swollen from my kisses. I rest my forehead against hers.
“You’re too goddamn beautiful and sweet,” I inform her huskily.
Her brows wrinkle and she nibbles on her bottom lip before muttering, “Umm… I’m sorry?”
A chuckle rumbles from my chest at her baffled response, but then it fades. “It’s me that should be sorry, baby. Not you.”
“But why?” she asks, her frown deepening.
I lift my forehead from hers but keep my face close as my thumb rubs along her cheek. “Because I shouldn’t be doing this with you. I should keep my hands to myself.” My jaw tightens. “All those years ago, I hurt you. I did”—I’m a damn pussy because I can’t force myself to say it—“those things to you. I’m a fucking bastard for touching you now.”
“Luca, no.” Her eyes, so heartbreakingly sad, turn pleading. “If it makes you a bastard for wanting me, what does it make me for wanting you just as much?” Her head drops a couple of inches and her eyes move to my chin. I lift her head back up with my thumb and open my mouth to talk, but she beats me to it. “I know it may be wrong of us to want… whatever it is that’s happening between us. I know I should be afraid of you, should want nothing to do with you, but I’m not, and I do. You make me feel safe in a world I don’t know anymore. If it’s wrong, I don’t care. I’d rather it be wrong with you than right with anyone else.”
Tears glisten in her eyes, and I can’t take that damn look from her. That look and her words completely fucking destroy me. My heart that’s been fractured down the middle since all of this started, one half hers, the other half mine, starts weaving its way back together.
I squeeze my eyes shut and let my forehead fall back to hers. “I’ve tried so fucking hard to stay away from you, to keep my hands to myself and my feelings in check, but you make it impossible, Jules.”
“Then don’t.”
I open my eyes to see her beautiful golden ones staring at me, asking for things I want to give her so damn badly.
As I gaze back at her, I know one thing for absolute certain. When it comes to this woman, I’m completely and truly fucked.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Jules
A COUPLE OF DAYS later, it’s Thanksgiving and we’re all at Luca’s parents’ house. I’ve ignored Theo as much as I can without coming across as rude to the rest of the family. I’d mentally prepared myself to see him again, but it hasn’t been easy avoiding his presence. Not when I constantly feel the pure malice radiating off him or the disturbing heat of his desire. It makes me sick to my stomach.
I wish I could just pretend he isn’t here, but I refuse to be impolite in front of the rest of the family that I’m learning to care for. I’ve only had a couple of opportunities to be around Helen and Wyatt, but from the beginning they’ve accepted and welcomed me into their family without question. And Ella, she’s become a friend. Vicki is still an unknown, as I’ve only seen her a couple of times and she’s always quiet. Her eyes were watchful as we were introduced, her arm possessively wrapped around Ella’s waist. I know her wariness stems from her love of Ella and her family, but I hope over time she’ll come to like me.
Aria. My heart expands every time I think of the sweet little girl. She reminds me so much of my baby sister. I ache with the misery of not having Teresa in my life, but Aria makes that ache not so pronounced. She’s only been in my life a short period of time, and I’ve only barely gotten to know her, but I’ve already started to love her as if she were my own. I’ve missed her so much over the last few days.
And Luca. My eyes sweep across the yard to find him standing with his dad. He has his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes are on me as his dad talks to him. I never would have thought it was possible for me to care for someone who has caused me so much pain in the past. I’m glad I don’t remember what happened all those years ago. On one hand, I’m terrified that if I do remember, it’ll spoil what I feel for Luca. On the other, I wonder if it would even make a difference. I don’t want to take the chance.
Luca has either stayed by my side or had his eyes on me since we arrived. With the weather being so beautiful today, Helen wanted us all to eat outside on the patio set Wyatt bought her a couple of months ago. Luca and I have both acted very platonic, not wanting his family to think anything is going on between us. Even so, I know his parents and Ella know something is going on. Luca hasn’t really been secretive about his animosity toward Theo, even though he hasn’t outright said anything. I’m not the only one Theo has been shooting daggers at with his eyes. Anytime Luca is near me, he alternates the hateful looks between Luca and me. The worried gazes from Helen and Wyatt aren’t lost on me, but I’m grateful they haven’t said anything. Yet.
A small tug on my hand has me clearing my mind and looking down into a set of beautiful blue eyes.
“Hey, Aria.” I smile at her.
Her eyes are somber, too somber for her a girl her age, and it hurts my heart.
“How come you don’t live with me and Daddy anymore?”
I’ve been waiting on this question and have tried to prepare for it, but I’m not.
I squat down so I’m on her level, keeping her small palm in my hand, and try my best to explain my reasoning in a way she’ll understand.
“I loved living with you, but your dad and I….” I take a moment to find the right words. “It’s just best for your dad and me not to live together.”
Her brows pinch together into a frown and indents form in her chin as she thinks over my answer.
“Is it because he hurt you?” I hold in my shock at her wobbly question, but she’s not done. She steps closer to me, her eyes pooling with tears. “I saw Daddy that night. I saw him hurting you. Why did he do that to you, Jules?”
My nose burns and my throat bobs as I fight back a quiet sob. This precious little girl should have never witnessed anything so vile, and it makes me physically sick and immensely angry that she did. I thought she hadn’t seen what her dad was doing, because she never asked me about it, but apparently, I was wrong. Silently, I condemn Theo.
When her chin quivers, it crushes my soul, and I pull her against my chest. Her tiny arms wrap around my neck and she hugs me just as tight as I hug her. My eyes lift and are caught by Luca’s worried ones. When he looks like he’s going to come over, I subtly shake my head, letting him know it’s okay. The last thing that needs to happen right now is for him to know that Aria saw what Theo did. I have no doubt Luca will lose his mind and go after Theo, and Aria certainly doesn’t need to see that. Her innocent eyes have seen enough.
I pull back and wipe away Aria’s tears. Cupping both of her cheeks, I make sure her eyes are on mine.
“I’m okay, sweetie. There are times when things happen that make people do things they normally wouldn’t do. It doesn’t make them a bad person, though.” I refuse to damage Theo’s character even more in Aria’s eyes. “I know he’s sorry for hurting me.”
Her lips purse out into a scowl, but luckily the tears have stopped. “I didn’t like him doing that to you.”
“I know you didn’t and you shouldn’t have seen that. I promise he won’t do it again.”
“Because you’re not coming back?”
Her question sends a shard of pain through me, because I can see the hopeful expression in her eyes that says she wishes I would.
“No, baby,” I say gently. “I’m not coming back. But even if I did, I know he wouldn’t do it again.” When her expression turns sad again, I can’t help but add, “I’ve been staying with your uncle Luca. Maybe you can come spend the night sometime.”
Her eyes light up, but then dim after a moment. “Daddy won’t let me,” she says sadly. “He says I can’t stay with Uncle Luca anymore.”
That raises my anger again. He’s forbidding her visits to Luca because he’s mad at him and me. Luca loves Aria to pieces, and Aria loves him the same. His punishing Luca is also affecting his daughter.
“We’ll see what happens,” I tell her.
She nods dolefully. “Okay. Daddy hasn’t been very nice lately, so he’s been letting me stay with Gamma and Pa a lot.”
My throat closes, but I somehow force out the words. “Has… has he hurt you?”
Her eyes drop, and her words are mumbled so low I almost don’t hear them. “No. He just says mean things sometimes.”
My heart rate settles fractionally. Although verbal abuse is enough, I’m relieved he hasn’t hurt her physically. Theo wouldn’t have to worry about Luca coming after him, I would have myself. I’m meek and quiet most of the time, but the thought of Theo harming Aria sends rage rushing through my veins.
“Remember when I said people do things they normally wouldn’t?” At her nod, I continue. “Sometimes those things upset people so much they are mean to the ones they care about. For some people, that’s the only way they know how to get rid of the ugly feelings inside them. But it doesn’t mean they don’t love the ones they hurt. I know your daddy doesn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
I can tell she doesn’t fully believe my words from the way she’s biting her lip, and it makes me wonder exactly what he’s said to her. This is something else I’ll be talking to Luca about. I don’t like knowing Aria’s living in a place that makes her feel so uncomfortable, but I’m not really sure what can be done. Maybe he can talk to his parents about having them to talk to Theo. Ill feelings aside, he needs to know how much he’s hurting his daughter.
I look down at Aria’s hands that are clasped together in front of her. Something warm invades my chest at seeing her colored nails. They match my own. Our toes match as well. Seeing some of the color has chipped away and wanting to bring a smile back to her face, I take her hand in mine.
“I see you need a touch-up. I’ve got the polish in my purse. Want to go paint our nails again while we wait on the turkey to finish cooking?”
Just as I had hoped, Aria’s lips form the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. “Yes!” she exclaims excitedly.
I stand and look over at Luca. His eyes are still on us, but the worry has faded as he sees the smile on both Aria’s and my faces. His lips tip up into the half smile I like to see on him. I motion my head toward the house to let him know Aria and I are going inside. His eyes dart around the yard, and I follow them until they settle on Theo, who’s sitting in a pair of lawn chairs with Helen. When Luca’s eyes come back to me, he lifts his chin.
I lead Aria into the house as she babbles away about the movie she and her Pa went to see a couple of days ago. After grabbing the fingernail polish from my purse, we both sit at the kitchen table. She does my nails first, and it’s so cute because she sticks her tongue out the side of her mouth in concentration, just as she does when she draws. I don’t mind the smears she leaves behind on my cuticles. She laughs as I dramatically shake my hands in the air to dry them. I do hers next, and I laugh at her when she does the same.
“I’ve missed you so much, Jules,” she says after I put the polish away.
I pull her into my arms. “I’ve missed you so much too, Aria.” I step away and gaze down at her. “I promise we’ll get to spend more time together.”
It’s a promise I plan to keep, somehow or another.
“I’ve got to go potty. You go on back outside, and I’ll be there in a minute.”
She skips away, and I’m glad her mood is lighter than it was earlier. She deserves to be happy all the time.
I go to the bathroom, but not for the reason I gave Aria. I need a moment alone to gather my emotions. Seeing Aria, spending time with her, and finding out she saw what Theo had almost done to me has frayed my nerves. I pray to God she doesn’t know exactly what Theo was doing. Revulsion has my stomach clenching at that thought.
I splash cold water onto my face to bring back color into my pale cheeks. My eyes are a little red, but hopefully no one will notice. To mentally prepare myself to go back outside, I pull in several deep breaths before grabbing the door handle. As soon as I pull open the door, I’m forcefully shoved back inside, and it’s slammed shut again. My back hits the sink and a sharp pain radiates up my spine. Fear skitters through me when Theo pins me with his hate-filled glare. His back is against the door, and I can practically see the rage pulsing from his bunched-up muscles.
“Wh-what are you doing, Theo?” I try to put as much strength into my tone as possible, but it still comes out shaky.
“Has he fucked you yet?” he hisses through clenched teeth.
My eyes widen. “What? No!”
Fear seeps into my bones when he leaves the door and stalks my way. I try to press myself closer to the sink, but I’m already as far against it as I can be. My eyes dart around the room, looking for something to use as a weapon, but there’s nothing. And the room is too small for me to slip by him. I’m stuck with no way of getting out. I lean back until my head hits the mirror.
“You’re a fucking liar,” he seethes. He doesn’t stop until he’s standing right in front of me. “I can fucking smell him on you.”
He grips my hair and yanks my head forward. His face goes to my throat where he sniffs along the skin. I press my hands against his stomach and try to push him away, but he doesn’t budge.
