The Sinister Silhouette-D2D, page 18
I rap on the door and stand back, waiting for Jules to answer. I don’t worry about Aria being home, as I saw her get on the bus on the corner an hour ago. I know I shouldn’t be here, but Ella called me yesterday and told me when she spoke to Jules over the phone she sounded weird. I was glad to find out that the two women have formed a friendship. Ella has a big heart when she wants to and when she found out that Jules’s parents have written her off and that she has no one else, she softened toward her quickly. I don’t know how often they talk, but I do know Ella has come to the house a couple times to hang out and has even taken Jules to one of her appointments.
Hearing footsteps on the other side of the door, I brace myself to see Jules again. It always shocks me after days of not seeing her. The woman is gorgeous, and each time my eyes land on her, it seems her beauty grows. But it’s not her looks that shock me, it’s the hyperawareness I feel each time. Like there’s a livewire that’s attached to both of us and when we’re in the same room it sends a wave of electricity through me. And the possessiveness that damn near wipes away all reason.
When the door doesn’t open, I raise my hand to knock again, thinking maybe it wasn’t footsteps that I heard. Movement off to the side has me looking at the window, seeing the curtain flutter.
“Who is it?” Jules’s voice carries through the door.
My brows lift. “Open the door, Jules. I just saw you looking out the window. You know who it is.”
“What do you want, Luca?”
I frown. Something’s not right here. “I want you to open the door.”
“I… can’t,” her muffled voice says hesitantly.
“What in the hell do you mean, you can’t? Are you okay?”
It takes her moment to answer, and when she does, I hear the quiver in her voice. “Because I don’t want to.”
I take a step back and glare at the door, not understanding what she means. Why in the fuck wouldn’t she want to answer the door? It’s clear it’s me she doesn’t want to face.
Understanding dawns, and my stomach clenches.
“You remember,” I state hoarsely.
“No.” Her tone isn’t much stronger than mine. The answer comes out pained, which sends a sharp stab to my chest. “Theo told me.”
I stuff my hands inside my pockets to keep from punching the brick beside the door. I don’t know what pisses me off more; Theo telling Jules what I did or me doing what I did. I should have known Theo would tell her eventually if she didn’t remember on her own. I’m actually surprised he hadn’t done it earlier. Jules has a right to know, and Theo had the right to tell her, but damn if it doesn’t hurt. I don’t want her to think of me with fear or disgust.
Taking my hands out of my pockets, I put them on the door and hang my head in shame. “I’m sorry,” I mutter, but I know she hears me. The door is shit and thin.
I don’t expect an answer from her, but it still guts me when she stays silent.
“I don’t know what to say, Jules. All I know is I never meant to hurt you.”
Hearing her sniffle on the other side of the door plummets my heart into my stomach.
“Do you really not remember?”
“No.” I let out a harsh laugh. “I guess we both have problems remembering the darkest parts of our lives. I don’t know if that’s a blessing or curse.”
I lay my forehead against the door, and I swear I feel the warmth of her doing the same.
“I don’t want to remember,” she says softly. “I don’t want to imagine you hurting me.”
“Jules….” I stop, unable to form the words I want to. How do you apologize for something you don’t remember doing? I am remorseful, but the apology seems dishonest because I don’t know what I’m apologizing for.
Instead I think about the reason I’m here in the first place, or the excuse I gave myself to see her again.
I clear my throat and ask, “Are you okay? Ella said she called you and you sounded weird. Is everything all right with Theo?”
“Y-yes.”
Her stutter on the word convinces me she’s lying. I grind my molars as I think about Theo hurting her.
“What happened?” I ask, letting her know I don’t believe her.
She turns quiet again and the silence grates on my nerves and heats my blood.
After a moment, she replies, her tone firmer than it was seconds ago. It still doesn’t fool me.
“Everything is fine, Luca. I’m just trying to adjust to married life and it’s taking time. Please tell Ella I’m sorry for worrying her, but there’s nothing for her to be concerned about. I’ll call her later.”
“Please open the door, Jules, and let me see you. I promise I won’t come in the house. You can even keep the chain on. I just need to see you, not only for Ella’s sake but mine as well.”
A thump sounds on the door, and I hear her sniffle again before I hear the lock unlatch. The door opens fractionally, but the chain is still in place, preventing it from opening all the way. It both pleases me and sends another stabbing pain to my chest at seeing it, even though I suggested it. She should be cautious of her safety, I just hate it’s against me.
When she peeks through the small gap, I strain against the need to kick the door open so I can see her better. Even so, there’s enough of a gap that I can see she’s lost weight. Jules is already a small woman; she can’t afford to lose more. Her hair is piled on the top of her head, and the shallowness of her cheekbones is pronounced. There’s a frown on her pain-filled face.
“See,” she says quietly. “I’m fine.”
She’s not fucking fine, and that fact angers me. What in the hell is going on between her and Theo to cause her to lose weight and look as though someone killed her childhood dog? It has to be more than her finding out my role in her accident. I don’t mean that much to her to garner such a reaction.
Running my eyes over the exposed skin of her legs, arms, neck, and face, I see no visible marks. I reprimand myself because it’s fucked-up to think of Theo being capable of physically harming her. It’s just an excuse my mind came up with to justify why he’s not right for her.
I jerk my head up in acknowledgement and take a step back from the door, the urgency in my body demanding I reach through the small gap and touch her. My eyes land on her hand that’s curled around the door, her knuckles turning white, and I hope she’s fighting the same pull as me.
“Take care of yourself, Jules.”
I’m unsure if it’s my mind playing tricks on me or if it’s wishful thinking, but I think I see her eyes water.
I’m such a fucking sap when it comes to this woman.
“You too, Luca,” she whispers.
I run my eyes over her face one more time, taking in every single beautiful inch, stamping it into my memory, before turning and walking away. As her brother-in-law, I’ll still be forced to see her on occasion, but I swear to myself I’ll leave her alone and let her have the life she should have had all these years. A life with my brother.
Even if that means my own life will be one tortured moment after the other.
I STOP BY ELLA’S HOUSE after leaving Theo’s. I promised her I would let her know how Jules was after I saw her. There’s a sharp ache in my chest where my heart resides as I pull up to her and Vicki’s place. I can feel my heart beating, but they’re dull thuds against my sternum, lacking the feel of life.
Ella knows right away something is off by the expression on my face, and immediately comes to the wrong conclusion.
“What in the hell happened? Did Theo do something to Jules?” she demands as I walk through the door.
It’s funny how we both assumed it was Theo who did something. It’s also funny how Ella seems to have developed a sense of protectiveness over Jules.
“No.” I grunt my answer. As I walk toward her kitchen and the beer that I really fucking need, I throw over my shoulder as Ella follows me, “Do you honestly think Theo would hurt Jules?”
I expect Ella’s answer to be no right away, so I’m surprised when I turn and see the hesitation on her face. I uncap my bottle and take a swallow, then lift my brows in question. She takes a seat at the table, her hands twisting together as her eyes avoid mine.
“What the fuck, Ella?” I growl.
“I seriously don’t know if he would hurt her or not. I want to say no, Luca, and it really pains me to even think there’s a possibility. But, the other day when I was over there, he was acting strange. The way he looked at her was eerie as hell. I don’t know what’s going on with him, but he’s not himself. There were a couple of times I caught him watching her when he thought I wasn’t looking.” Anger has Ella’s lips forming a firm line. “The look wasn’t healthy. He looked like he was on the verge of ripping her clothes off and taking her right there in front of me.” She shudders. “It wasn’t just that though, it was still really fucking freaky to witness that look from my brother. It was also the absolute menace in his eyes. That shit even freaked me out. When I asked Jules earlier if everything was okay between the two, she claimed they were fine, but I still saw something deep in her eyes. Fear.”
Frustrated, I sling the cap of my bottle toward the trash can at the same time I state angrily, “This is our brother we’re talking about here.”
“I know, goddammit!” Ella shouts back, becoming angry herself.
“I’m sure whatever you saw wasn’t what you thought it was.”
Ella gets up from the table and stomps to the fridge, jerkily opening the door, then slams it shut after getting her own beer. She growls in irritation when she can’t get the bottle open, so I snatch it from her and open it myself before handing it back. She takes a long draw, then wipes her mouth with the heel of her hand. Leaning back against the counter beside me, she lets out a loud sigh.
“You’re right. I know you’re right.” She blows out a tired breath. “And I thought we had you to worry about,” she mumbles.
I grip my beer tighter, her words ringing true. The fucked-up part is, we still do have to worry about me.
“You seem to care about her a lot,” I state, and tip my beer to my lips.
Ella crosses her arms over her chest and looks at me out the corner of her eye.
“There’s just something about her that draws you in, you know? The lost look in her eyes, the melancholy that surrounds her. I can’t imagine what she’s going through having no memory of Theo. Then having her parents turn their backs on her….” She trails off, and I glance at her. Blazing anger rests in her eyes. “Kinda makes you want to find her parents and bitch slap them, doesn’t it?”
I grunt my agreement. I’d do much more than bitch slap the bastards.
“I’ve got to get to the shop.”
I finish off my beer and toss the bottle in the trash. I stop by Ella and kiss her forehead before walking away. I’m at the kitchen doorway when her words stop me.
“Why do you care about her so much, Luca?” Her tone isn’t accusatory, just curious.
I don’t turn to face her, knowing she’ll see the pain and longing in my eyes if I do. Instead, I move forward again, my boots hitting the cheap linoleum, and tell her over my shoulder, “I wish I fucking knew.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Jules
“CAN YOU DO MY HAIR in a French braid, Jules?” Aria asks as she sits in front of me while I brush her long, wet hair.
“I can,” I answer. “If you’d like, I can do one on each side of your head. Sort like pigtails, except they’ll be French braids.”
Her legs kick out, causing her to bounce on the couch. “Yes, please!”
I laugh at her thrilled shout. As I part her hair into two sections, I watch over her shoulder as she brushes her doll’s hair with a little plastic brush. She works hard at trying to do a braid, but it comes out all wonky. She brushes the hair out and tries again.
“Want me to do your doll’s hair next?”
“Uh-huh.”
Once I finish with both of their hair, she hops up, runs to the bathroom, then sprints back out a moment later.
“It’s so cool!” she says excitedly. “Will my hair be curly in the morning?”
I smile. “It will.”
“Yah!”
“Why don’t you go brush your teeth, and I’ll meet you in your room to tuck you in?”
“But what about Daddy? He’s not here yet.” Disappointment shines in her eyes.
I tap the end of her nose and get up from the couch. “I’ll have him come in to tell you good night when he gets here.”
“Okay.”
When she turns and leaves the living room, the jubilant child of a moment ago gone, anger and sorrow flare deep within me. This is the third night this week that Theo’s gotten home past Aria’s bedtime, and each time there’s a hint of women’s perfume on him. I don’t care that he’s sleeping with other women. It also doesn’t bother me that he has to know that I know. What pisses me off is his lack of attention for Aria, and the fact that she misses her daddy and he doesn’t seem to care.
When I hear the faucet in the bathroom turn off, I cool my temper and walk to Aria’s bedroom. She’s back to sleeping in her own bed, while I share Theo’s. Thankfully, there’s only been a couple of times he’s tried touching me, and I’ve pushed him away both times. I could tell he was pissed when I did, but he hasn’t pushed it. I don’t know if it’s because Aria is here or if he stops for some other reason. I’m just glad it hasn’t caused any problems. Yet. I don’t see Theo waiting much longer, and I’m not really sure I want it to work between us anymore.
I’m pulled back to the moment when Aria runs past me and jumps on the bed. She giggles when she bounces twice and lands on her back. My dark mood lightens more, and I can’t help but laugh at her childish behavior. The little girl knows just what to do to brighten whatever mood I’m in.
Once she’s situated underneath the covers with Mr. Waffles beside her, I start tucking them around her sides, “accidentally” tickling her when I pass by her ribs. She giggles and squeals, and it’s a wonderful sound to hear. I may not be this child’s mother, but there’s no way I could love her any more if I were. She makes it impossible to not fall for her. It saddens me to think her real mother threw this chance away to watch her daughter grow. It devastates me that Aria never had the opportunity to share that special bond only a mother and daughter can have.
“Can I ask you something, Jules?” Aria asks.
I sit beside her on the bed and brush away her bangs. “Sure, baby.”
Her lip wobbles and tears gather in her eyes. “Is Daddy mad at me?”
I suck in a breath, pain lancing my chest. Forcing back the moisture that wants to gather in my eyes, I ask Aria with a strained voice, “Why would you think that, Aria?”
Her eyes fall to her hands that are gripping Mr. Waffles tight. “’Cause he doesn’t come home until after I go to bed.”
“Oh, sweetie. It has nothing to do with you.” My heart splinters at the pure anguish on Aria’s face as I wipe away the tears rolling down her cheeks. “He’s just been working late.”
That’s a lie, and I hate lying to Aria, but there are times when it’s best to not tell the truth, especially to child Aria’s age. Theo and I will be having a long talk tonight once he gets home. That is, if it isn’t too late, like it was last night.
Her eyes meet mine and the pain in them guts me. “You promise?” she asks tearfully.
I bend down and kiss her forehead, wishing so much I could wipe away any doubt in her mind. “I promise, honey. Your daddy loves you very much and he misses you just as much as you miss him.”
She nods, and her little arms wrap around my neck. “I love you, Jules,” she whispers against my ear. My throat clogs at her sweet words, and I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping like hell I can control my emotions until I leave the room.
I take a calming breath, kiss her soft cheek, and pull back. “I love you too, Aria.” And I do. I love this little girl so much.
The hopeless expression is gone, and a smile replaces it, bringing back the beautiful cherub girl of before.
I smile, glad her despair is forgotten for the moment. “Good night, baby. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Good night.”
I kiss her cheek one more time before getting up from the bed. Leaving the light on in her closet, I close the door until it’s only left open a couple of inches, just the way she likes it. I leave her room, my emotions all over the place, and walk out into the living room. Taking a seat on the couch, I wait for Theo to get home.
I wait, and I wait.
After three hours, I know it’s going to be another late night. Getting up from the couch with an irritated sigh, I go to the bedroom to get ready for bed. After Aria leaves for school tomorrow, I’ll have a talk with him. He needs to know his daughter is feeling neglected, and I swear to Christ, he better do something to fix it. No child should ever feel that way. No child’s eyes should ever carry that desolate look.
I climb into bed, my eyes already drifting closed before my head hits the pillow.
I STRETCH LAZILY AND smile when I feel warm breath at my neck and the hard body at my back. A heavy arm lies over my side as fingers tickle across my lower stomach, eliciting goose bumps to pop up over my skin.
“Mmm… that feels good,” I whisper, and arch my back, wanting more of the featherlight touches.
“It sure does,” a deep voice growls in my ear. Hips press into my butt, and I feel the hardness of his dick.
When his hand on my stomach travels south, butterflies form in my belly in anticipation. The first touch of his finger against my swollen clit has me gasping at the pure bliss it brings to my body.
I clench my legs together, trying to capture his hand. He chuckles behind me, his breath fanning against my fevered flesh.
“So impatient,” he rumbles.
“Please,” I beg, shifting my hips. “I need more.”
“I know what you need, baby, and I’ll give it to you.”
