New Hoofprints in the Snow, page 9
“Yeah, I bet you do. Know what else I know?” Billy blocked her way again. Georgia stamped her hoof impatiently next to Emma.
“You’re a moron?” Emma slid her hand down Georgia’s neck, trying not to notice that the hand she was using was trembling.
“No,” Billy said. “I heard a rumor around school that you’re a lesbo. That you only go out with girls.”
Emma’s face flamed hot. When she was dating Diane, they hadn’t hid it. Everyone at Calhan High School knew she was a lesbian, and she had suffered her fair share of bullying because of it. When her mom agreed to homeschool her, the bullying stopped—essentially because she wasn’t around that crowd anymore. She stopped petting Georgia and turned to face Billy again. “So?”
“So, I think you have a crush on Maia,” Billy said, his sneer painfully obvious now.
“So what if I do?” Emma held up her arms wide, her palms up, shrugging her shoulders. She hadn’t realized how obvious she’d been, and she hadn’t dreamed that Billy would have noticed.
“So, I don’t like the way you’ve been looking at her. Maia’s mine.” Billy moved closer to her, and her heart began to pound. He put his face directly in front of hers and said, “Keep your filthy hands off her, you freakin’ queer.”
Emma almost retched from the smell of onion rings and Dr Pepper on his breath. “Go away, jackass,” she said and then started to walk around him, leading Georgia behind her.
Billy placed his hands on Emma’s shoulders and shoved her to the ground, where she landed on her rear. Emma pulled down suddenly on Georgia’s lead rope, but she quickly realized and raised it to release the pressure. Georgia’s head bobbed up and down, and she snorted. For a moment she acted like she was going to rear up on her hind legs, but her feet came back down as quickly as they had gone up. Billy had moved away when the horse reacted but now, once Georgia had calmed, he leaned over and got in Emma’s face again. Through clenched teeth, he said, “Now quit texting her all the time, homo. Go find another carpet to munch.”
Billy kicked the dirt, took off his baseball hat, and smacked the arm she had raised to release the pressure on Georgia’s lead rope. Georgia moved back, away from them, and gaining his confidence back, Billy spat on Emma. “And don’t you even tell her about this. First, she won’t believe you. Second, I’ll deny it, and who do you think she’ll believe? Who do you think Ramon will believe? Or her mother? Third, stay away from her when she’s out here if you know what’s best for you.”
Billy kicked up more dirt. “And if you tell your mother about this? Well, you just don’t want to know what will happen to you or your precious horses then.” He stormed off in a dust cloud, leaving her covered in dirt and tears.
Shame and anger grew hot on Emma’s face, and she gritted her teeth and threw a clump of the dirt Billy had kicked onto her. Then she collapsed, sobbing.
15
MAIA FINISHED her homework quickly and tried not to pace the floor while waiting for Billy. It had taken a bit of talking, but her mother had agreed to let her go out to dinner with him on a weeknight as long as it was just dinner and nothing more.
Billy had sounded overly eager to go out again, and it hadn’t helped her confusion over things. The fact that Emma had been distant since the snowstorm over the weekend didn’t help matters. She tried to think of what she’d done when they’d all gone out that had set Emma off. Might she be blaming Maia for Tess’s “lezzy” comment in the bathroom? It was a bit rude, but nothing explicitly directed at Emma. They still texted, Emma updating her on how Georgia and Selena were doing, but they didn’t talk about much else like they used to. She wished she’d been able to get out to the center, but either the weather or schoolwork kept stopping her. It made her impatient for the weekend when she knew she could make it. At least the weatherman was calling for clear skies, which didn’t mean much in Colorado.
“Chica, you’re going to wear a hole in the carpet,” Abuela Sylvia said, standing in the doorway frowning at her.
“Sorry.” She walked toward the bench where most of the family took off their shoes when they came in. When she started to sit down, her nerves kept her standing.
Abuela Sylvia shook her head. “Are you breaking up with this boy so soon?”
The question took her by surprise. “What?”
“You’re acting nervous. You didn’t the first time he took you out. Are you going to break up with him or sleep with him? You know what the Bible says about sleeping with boys before you get married.”
Maia shook her head and looked at the floor. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous. “I’m not going to have sex with Billy. God, Abuela Sylvia, I’m not interested or ready for that.” From her cousins in Mexico, Maia had heard stories about their friends getting pregnant at young ages. The youngest she remembered had been thirteen. Abuela Sylvia had her oldest, Maia’s Uncle Franco, at fourteen. Maia had no desire to get pregnant—nor did she want to take the risk.
Especially when she was still comparing Billy to Emma. She knew she had a choice between the two of them, and she knew what she wanted, but there was so much else at stake. Billy was a great catch. Tess had texted her about what a cute couple they made. But Emma made her feel good. Emma helped her relax and feel more like herself than she had in years. Just thinking about Emma could raise her pulse and get her excited, something she didn’t want to be when Billy picked her up.
“Good, chica. You hold to that. Don’t let him pressure you into doing something Christ would frown on. He would forgive you, but no boy is worth having to ask forgiveness over.” She walked over and took Maia’s hands. “I know that things have been really tough for you since Ramon’s accident and the economy went bad, but these things have brought us closer. You’re a good girl, Maia. Always remember that. No matter what happens—you’re a good girl.”
The rumble of Billy’s pickup truck stopping at the curb outside carried through the single-pane glass in the door.
“I need to go, Abuela Sylvia.” Maia started to step away.
Her abuela leaned in and kissed her cheek. “You remember what I said, chica. You’re a good girl. Attractive too. If Billy isn’t right, let him go. There are plenty of boys out there who would be happy to go out with you.”
She smiled and kissed her abuela’s cheek too. “Thanks, Abuela Sylvia, I’ll remember that.” She turned and hurried out the door.
MAIA DUNKED her breadstick in her marinara sauce then savored the slight garlic-butter flavor of it as she bit down. She’d never been to Rocco’s before, but so far, she was impressed. It was a little pricier than places her family used to go when her parents could afford to go out, but Billy had insisted on taking her there once he heard she liked Italian food.
“What did you do Saturday, since you got the day off?” Maia asked as she dunked her breadstick a second time.
“They didn’t call me and let me know you guys weren’t coming out. I didn’t stay too long, though,” Billy said after he finished chewing a bite of salad. The way he did it made Maia think of a goat chewing grass. Emma would probably have been more delicate about it. But then again, she probably wouldn’t be here on a date with Emma. She didn’t think Emma’s mother had this kind of money either.
“Did Emma seem ‘off’ to you while you were there?” For a moment, Maia wondered if it was rude to ask Billy about Emma since they were both vying for Maia’s attentions, but Emma had stopped texting like she always did. Had Maia done something to piss her off? If Billy had been out at the center Saturday, maybe Emma said something.
Billy shrugged and chewed more salad. “A little. Emma always seems off to me. But her mom’s nice and I like going out there to help Ramon.”
Maia frowned before she could stop herself and sat back in her chair, setting the small piece of breadstick left in her hand down on her plate. “What do you mean?” Billy had never said anything derogatory about Emma before.
“Oh, you know. She’s all into horses and doesn’t seem to like much of anything else.” He finished his salad and pushed his bowl to the side.
A sudden defensive feeling surged into Maia. “I’m into horses—does that make me seem ‘off’?”
Billy smiled at her and shook his head, raising his napkin to wipe off his mouth. “Not at all. You’re sitting here with me eating dinner. You’re not weird, you know?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Hey.” He held up his hands as if in surrender. “I’m just saying her whole focus seems to be the horses, that’s all. You don’t expect folks our age to still be that intense on them. It’s normally something you grow out of. You don’t even have your horse anymore.”
Two waitresses walked up to them with trays setting their dinner in front of them, and she glared at Billy until they left. In a sharp whisper, she said, “My parents couldn’t afford to keep our ranch. You know that, Billy. If we were still out there, I’d still have Selena.”
“Sorry.” He picked up his fork and knife and began cutting his spaghetti, almost like he hoped she’d let it drop.
Her parents always said it was rude to argue at the dinner table, and the fact they were in public made it worse. It was her first time in the restaurant, and she didn’t want to make a scene. That was low-class and trashy, and regardless of what anyone thought, she was anything but low-class and trashy. Flashing him a glare that she hoped told him it wasn’t over, she turned her attention to the fettuccini Alfredo she’d ordered. She took a couple of bites of the noodles and sauce—so much better than the frozen Italian dinners she would convince her mother to get when she went to the store—and put her fork down. Her stomach was too upset to eat.
When their waitress came back, Maia asked for a box to take her meal home. As the waitress boxed Maia’s meal, Billy watched disappointedly. He called for the check soon after that.
AS THEY started down the interstate so he could get her home in time to keep her folks happy, Billy finally broke the silence. “Did you not like your meal?”
“Yeah, it was good. I guess I just lost my appetite.” Maia looked down at the bag the waitress had placed her to-go box in. She didn’t know if she’d actually eat the rest of her dinner or not. She looked out the windshield, anxious to get home, to text Emma and see if she’d respond.
Billy looked at her quickly. “Look, I’m sorry I brought up your family’s problems. It was insensitive of me.”
She wanted to glare at him again but kept her eyes on the highway in front of them. “Yes, it was.”
“I did a little bit of research and found some other hippotherapy places closer to you. Your parents would save money on gas if Ramon had a closer place to go for therapy. That van’s got to be a gas guzzler.”
She turned and stared incredulously at him. “What are you going on about? We’re not changing therapy centers. Selena’s out there. That was how we got Ramon to agree to try it.”
“So it’s just about Selena, huh?” There was a note in Billy’s voice that said he didn’t believe her.
“Mostly. Emma and her mom are great people.” Maia crossed her arms and turned her attention back to the highway, the takeaway bag swaying slightly at her feet. “I think they need our help out there as much as Ramon needs them. Plus they do great work rescuing horses. Georgia’s a prime example of that. They got to her just in time to save her and her baby.”
“Oh.” Billy didn’t say anything else.
Maia took his silence as a sign the discussion was over. She was okay with that. Better than okay. At that point, she would’ve been happy to get out of the truck regardless of where they were and walk home if it meant she didn’t have to be near him.
When they pulled up in front of the house, he turned off the truck and turned toward her. “I’m sorry. I’ve been putting my foot in my mouth all night. I wasn’t trying to be rude.”
She sighed, looking down at her hands and then back up at him. “Yeah, I know. You just managed to step on some really sensitive subjects.”
He touched her chin. “I’ll try better next time.”
“You better.” She unclicked the seat belt.
“Do I at least get a good-night kiss?”
For a second, everything in her body wanted her to say no. He hadn’t been on his best behavior during their date, and she didn’t want to reward him for it. That had been one of the first things she’d learned about training horses—never to praise negative behavior. But she wanted him to stay happy with her and keep helping Ramon. She leaned over to him.
His lips were dry when they met hers. They kissed longer than they had the first time. His tongue parted her lips, and Maia almost gagged from the taste. She hated Dr Pepper, and that’s what his breath and tongue tasted like. He tried to continue the kiss, moving toward her, and she pulled away, moving her face to break the kiss. She felt awkward as she broke the kiss, both moving away from him as well as pushing him back with her hands.
“Okay, I guess I’ll see you Saturday for Ramon’s ride.” Maia reached for the door handle.
“Sure. Do you want me to walk you to the door?” He undid his seat belt, hand on the door handle.
She shook her head. “That’s okay. I’ll be fine. If you want to sit here until I get in, Dad said that would be the polite thing for you to do.”
A weak smile flashed in the illumination from the street light. “And I bet your Dad’s watching too.”
For the first time in a couple hours, she felt like smiling back. “You’re probably right there.” She opened the door and stepped out, making sure to take the small takeout bag with her. “I liked Rocco’s. Thanks for taking me there.”
“Thanks for going with me.”
She closed the door and hurried up the front walk and into the house. Maia paused long enough to take off her shoes and hang up her coat before she dashed upstairs.
Pulling out her phone, she threw herself down on the bed.
Maia: Hey, did Billy say anything strange out at the center last weekend? she texted Emma.
Her response came a few minutes later.
Emma: No. Why?
Maia: I just came back from Rocco’s with him. He tried to talk me into finding a different therapy center to take Ramon.
Emma: WHAT?! Why?
That was just what Maia really wanted to know.
Maia: No clue. Thought you might know.
Emma: Nope. So other than that, how was dinner?
Maia: Awkward. Maia sighed and rolled over so she was staring at the white popcorn ceiling. I mean the food was great. I’d love to go there again. Just not sure about Billy. He said some cruel things a couple of times.
Emma: I’ve heard a lot of guys are good at that.
Maia: Have you ever even gone out with a guy?
Emma: Nope. Figured things out pretty quickly. I barely even notice what most guys look like. Girls on the other hand….
Maia could envision Emma smiling slightly as they texted. She liked the way Emma smiled.
Maia: Never even kissed a guy? Does your mom know?
Emma: Sure, I’ve kissed a couple. But, yeah, Mom’s cool with me being a lesbian. She just wants me to be happy. That’s what parents are supposed to want for their kids, right?
Maia: I guess. But aren’t we supposed to do things to make our family happy too?
Emma: Sometimes. Is that a problem?
Maia: My family? Maia’s hands shook slightly as she responded.
Emma: Yes.
Maia had been thinking a lot about what her family would say if she announced she was dating Emma and not Billy. She didn’t honestly know. That made it a very scary thing. That Cassie knew about Emma and still obviously loved her gave her hope that her family would be the same.
Maia: I don’t know. Maybe. It’s very confusing for me.
Emma: Sweetie, don’t worry about it. I’m not going to pressure you in this. You take all the time you need to figure things out. I want you to be happy.
Maia: Thanks. She thought about the subtle pressure Billy applied by asking for the good-night kiss. Of course, Emma had kissed her in the ladies’ room at the theater, but she’d welcomed—no, she’d wanted—that. She smiled a bit at the thought, wishing she could kiss Emma again.
Emma: So, do you want to know how the horses are?
Her smile broadened.
Maia: Of course.
For the next hour, as Maia got ready for bed, they texted about the horses, riding, and life in general. Emma never brought up Billy or their own budding feelings toward each other. It was nice to relax and feel like the strangeness she’d been getting from Emma the past few days had finally gone away. Maia decided not to mention it to her—she didn’t want to sound like she was overreacting to something that might have just been a normal thing. Maybe Emma had just been busy.
When they signed off and she turned out her light, she was happier than she’d been when she left Billy’s truck. She loved that Emma could cheer her up with just a few texts, and she’d missed talking to her.
16
WHILE GETTING dressed for the barn after her lessons with her mother, Emma paused to text Maia.
Emma: Vet is coming out to check on Georgia this afternoon around 4:30. Want to come?
Her phone beeped.
Maia: Sure! I can be there around 4:15. I’d like to visit with Selena too.
Emma smiled. It had been a while since it had been just her and Maia at the barn. These last few days had been hard, what with Billy being around the barn more. Her mom had hired Billy as a ranch hand, and he always seemed to be underfoot. She didn’t dare tell her mom about what had happened between the two of them—she was too afraid of what Billy might say to Ramon or even Maia’s mother.
Not every parent was supportive of their child when they chose to come out as gay or lesbian. Emma had been terrified when she approached the subject with her mom and so relieved when her mom accepted her for who she was. But there were always others who weren’t so supportive. She didn’t know where Ramon or Maia’s mother would fit into that equation. She wasn’t sure Maia knew the answer to that question, and most of all, she didn’t want to force Maia to make any decisions she might regret later.
