New Hoofprints in the Snow, page 11
When she let go of Cassie, she ran over to the horses and slipped between the metal bars of the gate and into the pasture. She flung her arms around Selena’s neck and let the familiar smell of the horse fill her and give her the strength she needed to climb into her folks’ truck and drive back to Fountain with the grim determination that she was going to talk to her mother and fix everything before Billy managed to break anything important.
18
EMMA WANDERED the aisles at the feed store, thinking about Billy, not really paying attention to what was on the shelves. If Maia would only tell her who she wanted to be with… hopefully, this all wasn’t some kind of game she was playing. Emma shook her head. No, couldn’t be. I know Maia. Then if Maia wasn’t playing a game with her, it was all Billy—Billy being a complete and utter asshole.
“Emma?” a voice from behind her said. She turned around and Diane stood there.
Quickly wiping the tears away, Emma said, “Hi, Diane. How’s it going?”
“Pretty good. I’ve been working here for the last month or so.” Diane looked around and smiled. “Not the greatest job in the world, but it helps pay the bills.” Diane’s gaze returned to Emma. “Are you okay, hon? You look like you’ve been crying.”
Emma took a deep breath, thinking about lying to her and telling her something was wrong at the center, but said, “A boy is threatening to out me and my ‘pseudo-girlfriend’ to her mom and brother.”
“I’m guessing her brother and mom don’t know anything.”
“Not to my knowledge. I think she’s afraid to tell them.”
Diane looked at her watch. “Want to talk about it? I’m getting ready to go on break shortly.”
“Sure.”
“Then stay here. I’ll be right back.” Diane walked away quickly, Emma presumed, to tell her boss that she was going on break.
It had been almost a year since she and Diane had talked. The breakup was rough for Emma, and she had avoided the areas where they used to go together. When Diane graduated from Calhan High and Emma started being homeschooled, it became easier to avoid her. A few months ago, they had coffee together and tried to smooth things out between them as much as possible.
“Okay.” Diane appeared from around the corner. “We’ve got about a half hour until I have to get back to work. Let’s go out to my truck and talk.”
Diane’s truck was parked behind the store, and once both of them were inside, she started the engine and turned on the heater. Emma sat in the passenger seat, facing Diane, one leg under the other. The truck smelled like old cigarettes, the same way it smelled when she and Diane had been together. They had gone everywhere in this truck.
“So, what’s up, hon?” Diane looked concerned.
“I… I found another girl I like.” Emma’s face and neck grew hot.
“That’s great! You said she was your pseudo-girlfriend. What did you mean by that?”
“I meant I really like her. And I know she really likes me too—we text each other all the time—but I’m not sure if it’s in that way. We’ve kissed a couple times, but that’s it.” Emma flushed. It was a little awkward talking to her ex-girlfriend about Maia.
“Well, that’s wonderful, Emma!” Diane grinned. “Sounds like the beginnings of a great relationship.”
“Wait, there’s more.” Emma licked her dry lips and wished she had something to drink. “There’s this guy too. He’s helping out at the center. We finally started the hippotherapy program Mom had wanted to start when… when you were around. Maia—that’s the girl’s name—Maia’s brother is our first client.”
“So who’s the guy helping out at the center?”
“Billy. He told Maia that he would help walk her brother around on the horse if she’d go out with him.”
Diane cocked an eyebrow. “And she went out with him.”
“She did. But just as friends, from what she told me,” Emma said. “As I said, we text constantly.”
“Okay, and?”
“Well, they’ve been out three times, and Billy thinks he owns her now.” Emma’s anger rose and she balled her hands into fists. “A few days ago, he told me that she was his and to stay away from her.”
“That asshole!” Diane’s face darkened.
“Yeah. He pushed me pretty hard and even spat on me, threatening me that he’d tell Maia’s parents and brother that she and I were together.”
“What? Oh, you just let me at him!” Diane exclaimed, anger filling her face. “No one—and I mean, no one—should ever treat you that way! Did you tell Cassie?”
“No, he told me that if I told someone—anyone—he’d talk to Maia’s family.” A tear slid down Emma’s face, and she raised a hand to wipe it away. “I don’t want… I mean, Maia doesn’t know what she wants, and I’m pretty sure she thinks her parents would be against it.” Emma’s voice trailed off and she started to sob. Diane put her arms around her and held her close, smoothing her hair with one hand.
“Shhhh, it’s going to be okay, hon,” Diane murmured in Emma’s ear. “It really will be okay.”
“But… but I don’t know what to do! I don’t want to push Maia into anything, and I want to kick Billy’s ass for what he did to me that day.” Emma sniffled and pulled away from Diane. “I feel trapped… like I’m trapped in a corner and I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, the first thing you need to do is to talk to Maia about Billy.”
“He said she wouldn’t believe me,” Emma muttered.
“If you tell her straightforward what happened, she’ll believe you. And then you need to talk to Cassie. She’ll fire him in a heartbeat if he’s treated you like that.”
“But what happens to Ramon’s—that’s Maia’s brother—hippotherapy? We still would need a second sidewalker for him.” Emma had spent a lot of time trying to figure out who she knew who would be willing to take Billy’s place and came up empty-handed.
“You can always find someone else. Someone who’s going to be better for you and the center as a whole. If Billy’s being that much of an asshole, then he needs to go, period.” Diane pointed a finger at Emma. “You know your mom wouldn’t stand for him treating you like that.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ve just been so… so scared for Maia. If I knew how she felt….” If she knew for sure how Maia felt, she’d feel a lot more stable with everything.
“Did you tell her how you felt?”
“Yeah, and we kinda left it at that. I told her I wouldn’t push her… and I haven’t. She told me in so many words that she really likes me, but then Billy’s always around….” That same pit opened in Emma’s stomach, the longing to know how Maia felt and not to be strung along any longer. “I’ve been trying to stay cool about it, but all I want to do when I see her is to go up to her and hug her…. You know how I am when I… when I love someone.”
“I do.” Diane smiled softly and took Emma’s hand in hers. “And I’m sorry I hurt you the way I did.”
Emma looked into Diane’s eyes. “You really did hurt me. Badly. It took me months to get over it.”
Diane looked sad. “Emma, dear, you deserve so much better. That’s why if I knew this Billy guy, I’d kick his ass for you. And you sound as though you really care for Maia.”
“I do. I really do.” It helped to talk to someone other than her mother about her feelings, even if it was Diane.
“That’s why I think you should talk to her again. She’s had some time to think about things. You need to tell her about Billy. If he’s threatening you, she probably needs to know that, especially if she does like him the way he seems to think she does.”
“But… but—” Emma stammered.
“I’m not saying she does, Em. But since she’s not told you one way or the other, it’s at least possible, you know?”
“I know, but I’m sure she doesn’t like him that way…,” Emma said. I am sure, right? “Why would she have kissed me like that if she didn’t like me?”
“Now, Emma, you know why. Some girls are curious.” Diane shrugged. “Doesn’t mean they’re gay or bi, only curious. Maybe….”
Her heart sank again. “Maybe Maia was curious, is that what you’re saying?”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t there. You’re the one who knows Maia. What do you think?”
Emma thought for a moment, wrinkling her forehead. “I really… I think she likes me, but she’s confused. The way I was with… with you, at first.”
“Then what do you need to do? What did I do with you to help you through that confusion?”
“You were my friend. You listened to me and understood me, even when I didn’t understand myself.” Emma’s eyes began to tear up again. “You were there for me when I needed you and there for me when I didn’t.”
“That’s what you need to do, Em. Be there for her and let her lead you where she’s going. If she’s gay or bi, great, go from there. If not, be there for her and be her friend.”
WHEN EMMA got home, she felt pretty good. The talk with Diane had boosted her spirits, boosted them so much she’d decided she would tell her mom what Billy had done. And if Maia was still out at the center, she’d talk to her as well.
Noticing Maia’s truck wasn’t in the driveway, Emma got out and ran up the steps to her house. She opened the door and kicked off her shoes.
“Mom?” she called.
“In the kitchen, sweetie!” her mom called back.
The kitchen looked like her mom was in the middle of cooking dinner. Vegetable cuttings were in the sink, a Styrofoam pad that had probably held beef next to them. Her mom stirred a pot of soup on the stove.
“Where’ve you been?”
“At the feed store,” Emma said, and then smacked her forehead. “I totally forgot Georgia’s feed.”
“That’s okay. We can go get it after this blizzard coming up. The weather channel has been talking about it all day. There’s going to be an Albuquerque low, which means, for us—”
“Colorado snow!” Emma said, laughing. “Carl and I love the snow.”
“I know, so tomorrow or the next day, you should have lots of it.”
“Great,” Emma said, remembering what she wanted to talk to her mom about. “By the way, I wanted to tell you something—”
“What is it, honey?”
“It’s Billy. Billy found out I’m a lesbian and told me to stay away from ‘his’ girl, Maia. He pushed me down, hit me with his hat, and spat on me, then threatened to tell Maia’s family if I told anyone what he did.”
“How dare he! If you’d told me about this sooner, I’d have fired him on the spot! But Billy’s not working here anymore anyway. I fired him today. Told him to get his shit and get out. And from what you just told me, I’m damn glad I did.”
“What happened?”
“He got into it with Maia, and Maia told me what he had done. I told him to scram and I’d mail the last check to him. I don’t want to see him on my property ever again.”
“Oh no, how’s Maia? He didn’t hurt her, did he?”
“Only her pride. I think he scared her more than he hurt her.”
“What about Maia’s family? Won’t he tell them about me? And Ramon and his hippotherapy? What do we do about another sidewalker?”
“Maia’s gone home to talk to her family. I’m not exactly sure what she’s going to tell them or what they’ll tell her. But she needs to talk to them before Billy does.”
“She has?” Emma plopped down in a chair as the world swirled around her. She tried to think, but all she could come up with was Maia was going to talk to her folks about them. She wished she could be there for Maia. To hold her hand and be supportive.
“She has. We’ll have to wait and see what happens.”
“What about another sidewalker?”
“Oh, Emma, we can always find someone else. Once Marco gets Ramon on the horse, you might be able to help him stay on for a while. We’ll get someone else.”
Jumping up, Emma gave her mom a tight hug. “Mom, thank you so much. I was so scared for Maia’s sake.”
“I know how much she means to you. Now, she hasn’t heard from you all afternoon. Go text her or call her or something and let her know that you’re not mad at her.”
“Good idea!” Phone in hand, Emma smiled and ran off to her room.
Emma: Maia, I’m sorry I acted the way I did. Billy warned me not to be around you and I was scared he was going to tell your parents I’m gay. I miss you and I’ll never do it again. Love, E.
She stared at her phone. Minutes went by and there was no response. Not knowing if that was a good thing or not, Emma waited until her mother called her down for dinner before she left her room, still without an answer to her text.
19
MAIA PARKED the truck next to her mother’s car in the driveway. It was one of the few evenings her mother had off from the restaurant she’d been working at since being laid off from her corporate job as a call center supervisor. The place she worked was normally so busy they wanted her there all the time. It was good for money but tended to leave her mother bone tired. She wished she knew how her mother would react. There wasn’t any doubt her mother loved her, but would that love be enough to accept what she had to tell her?
As she went to get out of the truck, her father pulled in behind her, blocking the truck from leaving. Maia paused and waited for her dad to get out so she could walk in with him. A cold wind whipped around her as she stood there. It tugged at her long black hair.
“Hey, sweetie.” Her father grinned as he walked up. “Hope you don’t need to go anywhere tonight.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
He frowned. “How long have you been sitting in the truck?”
“What?” She didn’t really know the answer to his question. She’d been sitting there thinking for a while.
“You look cold and worried.” He opened the front door and gestured for her to walk in with him. “Is something wrong?”
She sighed. “I need to talk to Mom about something.”
“Girl stuff?”
“Yeah. Girl stuff.” It was the fastest way to get him to drop his questions. If there was one thing her father was afraid of, it was girl stuff.
“Rosie!” He shouted as he closed the door. “You better come talk to your daughter. She’s got girl stuff on her mind.”
Her mother appeared in the door to the kitchen. “Maia. It’s about time you got out of the truck. You’ve been out there for nearly half an hour. We were beginning to think you were trying to avoid helping with dinner.”
Maia really wanted just to talk to her mom. “Can dinner wait?”
“Wait?” Her mother flashed her a dark look, then stepped forward. “Don’t let tuya abuela hear you ask that.” She handed the dishrag in her hand to Maia’s father. “Go help Mama finish setting the table. If we’re not back by the time it’s ready, get Ramon and start without us.” She paused and looked at Maia. “Unless this can wait until after dinner.”
Having no idea when Billy might try to upset things, Maia shook her head. “It’s fairly important.”
“Okay.” Her mother gestured for Maia to head up the stairs. “Let’s go up to your room and talk.”
Maia didn’t remember the stairs ever feeling as long and desolate as they did while she and her mother walked toward her room. She opened the door and flipped on her light. She said a silent thank you to herself for thinking to make her bed before school that morning.
Her mother sat on the bed and patted the spot beside her for Maia. “Okay, what’s going on? I know things are busy right now, and I haven’t been around as much as I should. Mama says you’re dating Billy. Even your father says he’s a nice boy.”
Maia shook her head. “He’s not nice. He’s an asshole.”
“What?” Her mother straightened on the bed, and a look of anger flashed over her heavy features. “Did he not take no for an answer? If he hurt you, mija, I’ll kill him with my own hands. I don’t care if I’ll go to jail. No one hurts my girl.”
“It’s not that bad.” Maia took her mom’s hands. “Mom. This might be a surprise, but I think I might be a lesbian.”
A crease appeared on her mother’s forehead. “I don’t understand. If he did something to you to make you think you’re a lesbian, I’ll still hurt him. If Ramon was well, he’d hurt him for you too. He’s your brother. It’s his place to defend your honor.”
“Billy might have pushed me to admit this, but he didn’t cause it.” Maia took a deep breath and swallowed hard. “He found out that I’ve been making out with Emma. He made a big scene at the center today, got too possessive over me, and after I shoved him down in the dirt, Cassie fired him.”
“Cassie was there and saw all this?”
“Not all of it.” Relating what happened helped Maia relax. At least her mother wasn’t yelling. Yet. “She came in while Billy and I were shouting at each other. She didn’t like what Billy was saying. He was being really rude and she told him to get out.”
“Good. Billy doesn’t need to be around you if he isn’t going to respect you.” Her mother patted her hand.
“I won’t be going out with Billy anymore.” Maia swallowed again and wished she’d stopped into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. “I just want to be with Emma.”
“Are you sure? I thought Billy was the first boy you’ve dated.” Concern coated her mother’s voice, but there wasn’t the revulsion Maia’d expected.
“I’m sure. I tried kissing Billy. It was rough and”—she shrugged—“I don’t really know. It just didn’t feel right.”
“How long?”
“How long what?”
“How long have you known?” Her mother put an arm around her shoulders and hugged her tight. “I know I’ve been busy, but you could’ve talked to me about it.”
Maia shrugged. “I’ve just been sorting it out. The first time I kissed Emma—it just kinda happened and it felt right. I guess I’m lucky Billy was around to compare it to.”
Her mom laughed softly. “That’s one way to put it.”
