Nitro Crew Complete Series, page 46
Meg reached up and patted my cheek. “Of course, doll.” She slowly marched up the steps, and she disappeared out of view as she moved to Delaney’s room.
I didn’t know if letting Meg up there was the best idea, but right now, I had no idea what to do. Maybe Meg could work some of her crazy magic and help heal Delaney even just a little bit.
*
Delaney
The door opened, and I was surprised to see Meg.
“Hi, honey,” she whispered. She shut the door behind her and stood at the foot of the bed. “I hope it’s okay I came up.”
I didn’t care what she did.
“We’re all downstairs worried sick about you.”
“I’m fine,” I croaked.
She sat down on the bed and brushed my hair back from my face. “No, you’re not. But it’s okay that you’re not.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. “I just hurt right now.”
“You’re breaking my heart, honey. I know exactly what you’re feeling, and I know it’s not easy.”
I opened my eyes and looked up at her. “You know how I feel?”
She nodded. Her eyes were glassed over and she lightly sniffled. “Three years after I had Remy, I got pregnant.” She closed her eyes. “I lost it when I was nine weeks. I hadn’t even told Remy’s father we were going to have a baby.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shook her head and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “I didn’t tell you that to feel sorry for me. I told you that so you’d know eventually it gets better. You find another future that fits just as good as the one you were planning to build.”
I didn’t have much of a future anymore. “I don’t want a different future.” I wanted the one I had dreamed about with Jay.
“Sometimes, in life, we don’t have choices, honey. This is one of those times.” She sighed. “Take your time to grieve. You need that. But you also need to know things will get better. You’re in one of the darkest times of your life, Delaney. Don’t shut out the people who care about you.”
“I called my mom,” I blurted out.
A smile spread across Meg’s lips. “Good. Lean on whoever you want right now. That’s why you have family. They’re the ones who are there when you need them the most.” She leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Don’t push away the ones who love you. There are more of them than you think.”
She slipped out of the room and kept the door open a crack.
I could hear people talking downstairs, and I strained to hear Jay’s voice.
Was he still here?
Or had he already left me?
*
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jay
“What in the blue devil?”
My eyes snapped open, and I jackknifed up. “Who are you?”
“Who am I?” a woman snapped. “I think I need to know who the hell you are?” She flipped on the light, and I saw a woman who looked similar to Delaney.
Her mom was home.
She looked around the living room, and her eyes landed on Harlyn and Remy sleeping in the recliner. “Why the heck is part of the Cummings Racing pit crew in my living room?” she demanded.
“Susan?” Remy asked sleepily.
Wait, Remy knew Delaney’s mom? How the hell did he know her and I didn’t? And how did Delaney’s mom know what the Cummings Racing pit crew was? Delaney knew absolutely nothing about racing so I figured her mother wouldn’t either.
“Did I walk into the wrong house?” she looked around and shook her head. “Nope, that’s my crummy couch Jay is sleeping on. Where is Delaney?”
Remy flipped down the footrest on the recliner and woke up Harlyn.
“Someone talk to me,” Susan demanded. I think that was what Remy called her.
“I’m with—” I started but was cut off by Delaney’s voice from the top of the stairs.
“Mama, I’m upstairs.”
Susan looked at the stairs and then back at us. “Well, it’s good to know I’m not in the wrong house, but that doesn’t explain why everyone else is here.”
“Come up here, and I’ll explain everything,” Delaney called.
Susan glanced at Remy and Harlyn once more, but her eyes landed on me and didn’t move. “I think I know why you’re here,” she whispered.
She couldn’t possibly know about Delaney and me. Delaney had told me she planned on telling her mom about the baby when she got home from her work trip.
Susan climbed the stairs slowly, leaving Remy, Harlyn, and me downstairs.
“You don’t know who that is?” Remy asked softly.
I shook my head. “I’ve got a pretty strong feeling it’s Delaney’s mom, but I don’t know how the hell you know who she is.”
Remy shook his head and put his arm around Harlyn. “You really need to open your eyes and look at the people around you, Jay. That’s Christy’s home nurse. Brooks’ mom?”
I looked at the stairs, and it all came together. “Small fucking world.”
Remy nodded. “Sure the hell is. I didn’t know Delaney was her kid until she was standing here,” he chuckled.
This was not the way I wanted to meet Delaney’s mom. Delaney had told me her mom wouldn’t be home until towards the middle of July, but something must have changed.
Delaney must have called her.
While I was downstairs willing to do anything she wanted or needed, Delaney had called her mom to be with her.
I was here, and she didn’t want me.
*
Delaney
Mom followed me into my bedroom and shut the door behind her. “You got a lot of explaining to do, girl, but I need to know if you’re all right.”
I gingerly sat down on the bed and sighed. “Uh, I’m told I’ll be all right eventually.”
“Delaney, tell me what the hell is going on.”
“Sit down, Mama,” I said quietly.
A feeling of dread settled over the room, and I could tell my mom felt it. She pulled out the chair under my desk and sat down. “What is going on, Delaney?”
I closed my eyes and felt the tears coming already. I had managed to stop crying long enough to walk to the top of the stairs, but my sadness was still heavy and consuming.
“I was in the hospital tonight. I miscarried around one o’clock and had a D&C done to help prevent infection.”
“Delaney,” she whispered.
I opened my eyes but couldn’t see my mama through the tears streaming down. “Jay and I were going to have a baby but something happened.”
I heard her audibly sob, and then, I was gathered in her arms. “My sweet, sweet girl,” she whispered. “Shh,” she soothed me.
Mama rocked me in her arms, and my tears kept falling. “I’m sorry, Mama,” I sobbed.
“Don’t say that, honey. Don’t tell me you’re sorry. I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m so sorry, honey.” Her arms were tight around me, and I could tell she was trying to give me her strength.
“I know I’m young, and Jay and I didn’t know each other for forever or were even married, but I really wanted the baby, Mama. I wanted the baby,” I sobbed.
“Oh, my Delaney. My smart and straight-shooting girl with the soft heart. I know you wanted the baby. I’m sure the second you found out you were pregnant, you had it all planned out in your head.”
I did. I really did have it planned out. At least, the part about the baby. I had no idea what Jay was going to do when I told him, but even if he had laughed in my face and told me to go away, I knew the baby and I would have been okay without him.
Now I didn’t have a baby, and there wasn’t going to be a Jay and me anymore.
Mama brushed my hair back from my face and looked at me. “You’re okay physically?” she asked softly.
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. It was pretty painful with the cramping but I’m okay now.” I was sore, but I knew that would go away in a day or two. “I just feel empty.”
“How far along were you?” she asked softly.
“Almost nine weeks.” I closed my eyes and tried to stop crying. “I was supposed to have my two month check up on Friday.” Jay and I had planned on going to the appointment to hear the baby’s heartbeat and figure out how I could get one cup of coffee a day.
Now none of that was going to happen.
A fresh set of tears stung my eyes.
“Do you need anything right now?” she asked.
I shook my head. “I just wanna sleep.” When I slept, I didn’t have to feel anything. I didn’t have to think about the baby being gone. I didn’t have to wonder about what was going to happen with Jay and me.
If I slept, I didn’t have to think or feel anything.
Mama helped me lie back down, and she pulled the covers up to my chin. “Are you sure there isn’t anything you need?”
I shook my head. “I’m fine.” The only thing I needed was my baby and Jay, but neither one of them were mine anymore.
*
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jay
“We’re gonna head out, bro.”
I grabbed the cup of coffee from under the coffeemaker and lifted it my lips.
After Susan had come home and surprised the hell out of all of us, Remy and Harlyn had fallen back asleep in the chair for a couple of hours while I laid on the couch wide awake.
Susan didn’t come back down after going up the stairs, and I was left there wondering what was going on with Delaney.
Now it was after eight in the morning, and I still had no idea what the hell was going on. It had been over twenty-four hours since my world had crashed down on me, and I had never felt so lost in my life.
“Uh, let Roc know I don’t know when I’ll be back to work.” I had to eventually go back to life, but right now, I couldn’t walk into Cummings Racing and act like everything was fine.
“Don’t even worry about it, Jay. I’ll handle Roc.” Harlyn gave me a hug and a sad smile. “Take however long you need.”
They walked out the front door, and I leaned against the kitchen counter.
“And then there was one.” Susan walked down the steps and into the kitchen. “I could use a cup of coffee. Sleeping in that chair in Delaney’s room isn’t really comfortable.”
I grabbed a coffee cup from the cabinet and popped a pod into the maker. I knew exactly what chair she was talking about, and she was right. That chair was not meant for sleeping in. “Uh, everything okay?” I asked.
Susan leaned against the counter in front of me and sighed. “No, not at all, but it will be.”
That was what I kept telling myself but it was hard to believe. I waited for the cup to fill and then I handed it to Susan. “I don’t really know what to say.”
She grabbed the cup and held it with both hands in front of her. “I don’t think there is anything you can really say at times like these.”
“I’m sorry.” That was all I had.
“I don’t know why you and Delaney say that to me. I’m the one who should be sorry. You lost something important and are hurting.”
I cleared my throat and picked up my cup. “I just meant I’m sorry we didn’t tell you before…before this happened.”
“Jay, do me a favor, and don’t worry about me.” She pointed up at the ceiling. “Worry about the woman up there who is completely destroyed and wrecked right now.” She then pointed her finger at me. “Just like you.”
I shook my head. “I’m not worried about me. No one needs to worry about me either. Delaney is the only thing that matters.”
“Good answer,” she whispered. She took a sip of her coffee then sighed. “But then why are you down here and she’s up there?”
*
Delaney
I heard a cup set down on the nightstand, and I opened my eyes. “Mama?” I called.
“No.”
I closed my eyes and gasped.
Jay was in my room.
“Brought you a cup of coffee.”
Coffee sounded good. Coffee with Jay, I wasn’t too sure about.
I heard him drag the chair from under my desk over to the bed, and he sat down. “I’m here, Delaney. I’m not going anywhere,” he said firmly.
“Okay,” I said softly. It wasn’t okay, though. None of this was okay.
I didn’t know what was what anymore or why Jay would still be here.
“I know you probably don’t want to talk right now, and I get that, but when you do want to talk, cry, or scream, I’m going to be here.”
Again, he was here with the right words, but he didn’t need to be. He didn’t need to be here at all. The thing holding us together was gone.
“You don’t need to do this, Jay,” I whispered.
He sighed heavily. “I know, Del.”
“Then why are you?”
“I don’t think you’re ready for that answer.”
I opened my eyes and slowly sat up. “What?” Jay looked tired. He was still wearing the same clothes as when we went to the hospital, and there was a good day's worth of scruff on his face.
“Right now, you don’t need to worry about why I’m here or what I’m doing.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. You don’t need to be here, Jay. You can go home.”
He shook his head. “I’m gonna do what I want, and right now, I want to be here,” he stated simply.
“There isn’t anything here for you anymore.” It was over. It was all done. “My mom is home, and she can take care of me if I need anything.” I wasn’t going to need anything, though. I was already feeling better physically, and I figured by Monday, I would back to school and work. Back to my normal before Jay and the baby.
“She went to lay down. She was up all night with you and needed some rest.”
Oh, duh. I hadn’t even thought about how tired she must be. “Well, I’ll be fine while she sleeps.” I was a med student, after all. I knew how to take care of myself and didn’t need Jay to stand guard.
“I’m not leaving, Delaney.”
I laid back down and pulled the blanket over my head. “Do whatever you want, Jay. I’m going back to sleep.”
I closed my eyes and waited for him to argue with me.
“Whatever you want, Del. I’ll be here when you wake.”
He could be there when I woke up, but after a few days, he wouldn’t be there anymore.
I didn’t get why he was doing this. He was putting off the inevitable of fading away.
He just needed to leave now and stop torturing me.
Jay Perez wasn’t mine to keep.
*
Chapter Twenty-Six
Jay
“Go home.”
My eyes popped open, and Susan was standing over me.
“What?” I croaked.
“You need to get some sleep, Jay. Go home and come back in the morning.”
“But Delaney.” I looked at the bed and saw it was empty.
“She’s in the shower.”
Hell, I had slept through her getting out of bed.
“Don’t look so upset. She didn’t wake me either.”
I scrubbed my hand down my face. “I would have helped her.” I leaned forward, rested my elbows on my knees, and held my head in my hands. “I just want to help her, Susan.”
Susan sat down on the bed. “I do too, honey, but I don’t think you know Delaney as well as I do. While she’s smart as a whip and straight to the point with most things in her life, her feelings are something she struggles with. Don’t get me wrong, she figures things out eventually, but there’s always a time where she flounders around unsure of what she wants and feels.”
“She doesn’t need to wonder what I feel about her. Nothing has changed. I wanted to be with her when she was pregnant, and even now when we aren't going to have a baby, I still want her. It may have just been two weeks, but I know, Susan. I know what I want, and Delaney is it.”
“Then go home, get some rest, and come back in the morning.”
“I don’t need to leave. I can sleep on the couch,” I insisted.
Susan shook her head. “You need to give her a little room, Jay. You need to let her be alone for a little bit. Even I’m going to let her be when she gets out of the shower.” She looked around the room and sighed. “When I lost her father, the only thing that truly helped was time. Time to heal and time to move on.”
“I’m not moving on from Delaney,” I insisted. If I left, Delaney was going to think I didn't care. She was going to think I didn’t want to be there anymore.
Susan laughed. “You know, I never talked to you before this, but I heard many stories from Frankie and Brooks about you. The man you are right now is not what I expected at all.”
“I was an idiot in all of those stories you heard about me.” I shook my head. “I didn’t have anything worth living for besides drinking and partying.”
“And now my daughter is your reason for living?”
I nodded. “Yes. I fell in love with your daughter these past two weeks, and even though we lost the baby, that doesn’t change my love for her. I wasn’t in love with her because she was having my baby, I was in love with her for her.”
“Does Delaney know you love her?” she asked.
I shook my head. “I thought I had time to tell her. I didn’t want to scare her away.”
Susan patted my knee. “I think the last two days prove to you that time is fleeting. Delaney is going to push you away until you tell her how you feel. Right now, she thinks she’s a burden on you.”
“She’s not,” I thundered,
Susan stood up and looked down at me. “I understand that, Jay.” She hitched her thumb over her shoulder toward the bathroom. “Now you need to convince her of that.”
*
Chapter Twenty-Seven
